A podcast for geniuses, hosted by Lara Marie Schoenhals and Carey O'Donnell. Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexyuniquepodcast TikTok - @sexyuniquepodcast Instagram - @sexyuniquepod Merch - https://sexyuniquestore.com
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SUBS Ep. 1: Genesis (Part 1)
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TICKETS TO OUR CHICAGO AND NYC CHRISTMAS SHOWS HERE! Lara and Carey head back to the beginning... of time! Introducing Sexy Unique Bible Study. Starting with Book of Genesis (PART I), God gets off his ass and works hard over the course of six days, which he will consequently use against us all for eternity. Things get messy from the get-go, of cour…
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PATREON TEASER: SUBS Ep. 4: Leviticus
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Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON. TICKETS TO OUR CHICAGO AND NYC CHRISTMAS SHOWS HERE! Lara and Carey are back in the Old Testament to discuss a favorite of contemporary nut-bags everywhere: the Book of Leviticus. But first, they discuss “Conclave,” the male urge to w…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Stupid Bitch University (RHOC S18E18)
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In our final installment of Ocean Omelettes, Carey and Lara head back behind the Orange Curtain one last time in 2024. But first, they discuss the already iconic “Wicked” interview starring Cynthia, Ariana and a Queer Media Journalist holding space. They also talk Ellen DeGeneres fleeing to the UK with a new disguise and Kim K’s utterly apocalyptic…
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Salty Utah Queens - Breakfast at Octopus Bangs’ (RHOSLC S5E10)
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TICKETS TO OUR CHICAGO AND NYC CHRISTMAS SHOWS HERE! Lara and Carey are back for RHOSLC but first they discuss Jake Paul and Mike Tyson’s big Netflix boxing match, why boxing exists at all, the new IRA show “Say Nothing” on FX, North Korea’s harrowing sonic weapon terrorizing South Korea, Katie Maloney making it Insta-official with her emo boyfrien…
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PATREON TEASER: Post-Couponing Stress Disorder
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Lara and Carey are back behind the paywall for a regular ol' bonus episode. They discuss the spectacular November vibes in California, the Autozone fire in Hollywood this weekend and LA's love affair with a casual plume of smoke. Lara reveals her shocking breakup with Splenda and Carey considers eventually quitting smoking (again). They also discus…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Jailhouse Cock (RHOC S18E17)
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TICKETS TO SUP'S HOLIDAY LIVE SHOW IN CHICAGO & NYC: https://www.sexyuniquepodcast.com/ Lara and Carey are back to recap the season finale of Real Housewives of Orange County, but first they discuss the transcendent new Netflix doc about Martha Stewart, the saga of Guru Jagat, consummate rat James Comey and the Axis of Haters trying to keep SheEOs …
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Salty Utah Queens - Thy Todd and Thy Staff (RHOSLC S5E9)
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Lara and Carey reunite in the studio post-Lara’s Italian adventure and Carey’s LASIK extravaganza. They discuss the worthwhile body horror of corrective eye surgery, Lara’s surprisingly soft reentry into LA, her odyssey to find a women’s size 42 slouchy boot and her newfound fashion plug in Milan. They also discuss the second Congressional hearing …
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Lara and Carey are back with another trip down Old Testament lane, this time venturing into the dour and c*nty splendor of the Book of Exodus. First they discuss the LDS Church buying up farmland as Climate Change looms; Larz and Carz each pitch themselves for a spot on a hypothetical, post-apocalyptic commune. Back on The Bible, Exodus begins with…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - 12 Angry Jenns (RHOC S18E16)
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Star of stage, screen, and radio waves John Arthur Hill fills in for Carey as the studio's inaugural guest host! John and Lara discuss furry stowaways on Spirit Airlines, the dark underbelly of dentistry, and a TikToker getting "ran through" by 101 guys in one day. Back on RHOC, Jenn continues to rage against Tamra in Londontown. Not surprisingly T…
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Salty Utah Queens - Bringing a Machete to a Nerf Gun Fight (RHOSLC S5E8)
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This week Lara records remotely while on Roman Holiday with special guest & travel companion, Michelle Collins. The two gals recap their ultimate Italian girls trip with tales of handbag returns, Martha Stewart sweaters, photo booths, sexy pharmacists, bird sh*t, salty bore meat and much much more. Then on RHOSLC, the ladies head to Palm Springs vi…
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PATREON TEASER: SUBS Ep 2: Genesis (Part 2)
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Lara and Carey go back to the start, with part 2 of Genesis. They discuss Jacob's golden child Joseph (of dreamcoat fame): sold into Egyptian slavery by his jealous brothers and mourned by his cabaret legend father. With the odds stacked against him, Jacob thwarts seduction by the Pharaoh's wife and quickly rises the ranks from imprisoned seer to P…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - The Divided Kingdom (RHOC S18E15)
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Lara & Carey check back in on the Orca's Cold War against humanity, as SeaWorld San Antonio suffers a devastating blow from a poop-wielding whale. They also discuss a certain nepo baby’s directorial debut and a bone-chilling story about an organ donor’s experience on the operating table. Back on RHOC, Duchess Beador of Corona Del Mar cools down aft…
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Salty Utah Queens - Poop D'État (RHOSLC S5E7)
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Lara and Carey record remotely as Lara spends her Halloween in Rome. They talk the Colosseum, the upcoming Vatican Jubilee (whatever that means), and Europe's ambivalence towards All Hallow's Eve. They also discuss a legitimately terrifying new twist in the Sarco su*cide pod saga and the power and glory of Lady Gaga's new music video. Then on RHOSL…
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PATREON TEASER: SUBS Ep. 1: Genesis (Part 1)
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Lara and Carey head back to the beginning... of time! Introducing Sexy Unique Bible Study. Starting with Book of Genesis (PART I), G*d gets off his ass and works hard over the course of six days, which He will consequently use against us all for eternity. Things get messy from the get-go, of course... from Adam and Eve getting kicked out of the Gar…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - It's A Stormy Beador Day In Londontown (RHOC S18E14)
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Lara and Carey kick off Halloweek by breaking down two areas of the Haunted Hayride of Life: the unstoppable entrance into old hag era and keto-salami constipation. They also talk communicating via dreams and the false promises of a demonic new exercise pill. Back on RHOC, the ladies Jet Blue Mint off to Londontown for Shannon's birthday; they emba…
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Salty Utah Queens - It's All Bleak To Me (RHOSLC S5E6)
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Medieval Era continues as Lara and Carey discuss the E-Coli outbreak via McDonald's hallowed Quarter Pounder, Diddy's alleged pink cocaine affinity, Dina Mazon's daughter calling out Aunt Caroline, Victoria's Secret's rindom comeback, the latest sex trafficking scandal involving Abercrombie & Fitch's CEO, and all roads leading back to Les Wexner. L…
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PATREON TEASER: A Smile is Worth A Thousand GERDs
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**Listen to this FULL episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON** Lara and Carey discuss Smile 2 & Anora with a (spoiler-heavy) deep recap of both films. Lara reveals her recent interest in the studio side of Hollywood, and comes up with her best business mantra aka "Let''s just not!" They a…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Portrait of Alexis On Fire (RHOC S18E13)
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Carey and Lara feel the Halloween spirit and rate the most f*ck-able horror movie villains, from Chucky to Pennywise. Plus they break down one Canadian widow's revenge on her late philandering husband that involves eating his ashes. Later on RHOC, Shannon kicks off her 60th birthday with a trip to the most liminal backyard furniture store in Califo…
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Salty Utah Queens - America Runs on Desperate Women (RHOSLC S5E5)
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Lara and Carey are back after being radicalized by the Sweat Tour, they talk Charli's star power and spotting a certain pop icon still in a Woman's World. They also discuss shocking new revelations in the the Elisabeth Finch docuseries on Peacock. Back in Utah, Mary's wayward son Robert Jr. makes a cameo, Lisa faces "bad parent" allegations by Heng…
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PATREON TEASER: Reporting Live From the Backrooms
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**Listen to this FULL episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON** Lara and Carey are back in the stu to recap her big night interviewing reality royalty at the Us Weekly party: she talks her roses and thorns, existential surprises, and whether or not the VPR/Valley cast snubbed her. They als…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - The Nast Supper (RHOC S18E12)
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Carey and Lara discuss another horrifying chemical explosion outside of Atlanta, a British clergyman who died doing what he loved (getting high on poppers/ecstasy), and a man illegally cloning giant demon sheep at his Montana ranch. Then on RHOC, Terry gets his “deviated septum” fixed while seams in his and Heather’s picture-perfect marriage have a…
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Salty Utah Queens - Give Me Your Tired, Your Beer Caves (RHOSLC S5E4)
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Lara and Carey discuss how nothing is certain in life but death, taxes and Jessica’s Chastain’s urge to wage war against brands on X, the Scandinavian reporter who exposed Blake Lively resurfacing again with weird 2012 Anne Hathaway interview, and how in a shonking turn of events, next year’s Met Gala theme might actually be good. Back on the Real …
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**Listen to this FULL episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON** Lara and Carey discuss their (actually) successful rave-hosting gig this past weekend, Lara’s (spoiler-heavy) recap of “Joker: Folie à Deux,” Carey’s surprise reconsideration of “Grotesquerie,” Billy Belichick’s May/December r…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Sons of Ed Hardy (RHOC S18E11)
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Lara and Carey discuss the new European euthanasia pods for couples setting the world ablaze, California’s lawsuit against Exxon Mobile and their gaslighty response, and the recently discovered natural (and cheap) cure of male pattern baldness. Then on RHOC, Shannon continues to reel from her lawsuit with Johnny J, Heather and Alexis head to the GL…
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Salty Utah Queens - Off With Their Bobbleheads (RHOSLC S5E3)
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Lara and Carey discuss Carey’s upcoming LASIK, getting older, and Lara’s favorite new TikToker and his mysterious rash saga. They also talk Jax and Brittany’s messy custody battle. Back on RHOSLC, the women head to Milwaukee for Wild Rose’s big drag soirée (with Mary traveling there, separately, of course). There they just visit the Bobblehead Fact…
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PATREON TEASER: The Better the Billboard, The Worse the Show
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**Listen to this episode ad-free AND get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON** Carey and Lara are back from Texas and recap their live show at a church, their BBQ and Tex-Mex splurge and feeling G*d’s presence. They discuss the ‘Industry’ season finale and speculate on what’s next for our favorite finance psy…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Whoop Me In St. Louis (RHOC S18E10)
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This Episode is sponsored by BetterHelp:Thank You Rediscover your curiosity, with BetterHelp. VISIT: https://www.betterhelp.com/sexyunique today to get 10% off your first month ____________________________________________________________________________ Lara and Carey give a tight recap of Industry, then discuss the flop second moon arriving in Ear…
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Salty Utah Queens - Laverne & Whitney (RHOSLC S5E2)
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Lara and Carey discuss Carey’s Beeptress behavior on the chaotic Los Angeles freeway; Anna Delvey gets an ankle-monitored boot from DWTS, JoJo Siwa’s high fashion photoshoot, Ellen’s Comedy Special, and Naomi Campbell’s alleged charity infraction. Then on RHOSLC, Lisa takes to the G Wagon with Bronwyn and Heather to gossip and order Wendy’s. Heathe…
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PATREON TEASER: The Baldwin Prophecies
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Lara and Carey discuss THE SUBSTANCE, Stephen Baldwin’s bone chilling Instagram presence and his perceived warnings to Justin Bieber, the wild UAP book “Imminent,” El Chapo’s wife fresh out of prison and onto the runway in Milan Fashion Week, Earth getting a second moon, Scheana’s stolen 2009 Nissan, and a climate change-borne 'unidentified seismic…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - We Pledge Allegiance To Moo Deng - (RHOC S18E9)
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Description: Carey and Lara are back in the OC, but first, they’ve got a buffet of topics to dive into: NY Mag reporter Olivia Nuzzi’s sexting affair with RFK Jr, the splendor and horror of Moo Deng, haunting new footage of the Titan submersible wreckage, Ryan Murphy’s new Menendez Brothers show on Netflix, incest p*rn, and society’s weirdness abou…
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Salty Utah Queens -Angie K and the Secrets of the Sacred Scroll (RHOSLC S5E1)
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Lara and Carey are back from their respective NY vacations — Carey recaps his inaugural Fire Island journey and Lara recounts her hustle and bustle NYC adventure. They also list new air travel grievances, including a passive aggressive seat mate and the tyranny of parents traveling with children. Then Larz and Carz head back to Utah for season FIVE…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - The Traits Amigas (RHOCS18E7&8)
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Lara and Carey are back for a combined RHOC 7 & 8 recap, but first they discuss the glorious emergence of Jen Affleck, Rachael Ray slurring through a Tony Bennett anecdote, Joaquin Phoenix awkwardly highlighting Gaga’s Joker 2 weight loss at the Venice Film Festival, one drunken meteorologist’s war against her former employer, and Tamra taking to s…
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PATREON TEASER: Earth, Wind & Fyre Fest 2.0
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Lara and Carey are back behind the paywall to discuss Elle McPherson’s holistic approach to cancer, the exquisite horror of Fyre Fest 2.0, and Matt Damon and JLo bonding at TIFF over the man of their dreams. Plus iconic new reader mail including a Loadtember cheating scandal, another love-swindler Italian man, and two more harrowing tales of childr…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Ghouls Trip (RHOC S18E6)
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Lara and Carey break down another round of harrowing topics, including a humanoid robot for the home — complete with a hellish, obsidian face, a haunting signal heard aboard the ISS, a California neighbor crumbling to the ocean, and Tamra Barney’s shocking face lift updates. Back on RHOC, the ladies prepare for competing Girls Trips: one to Tamra’s…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Shrimping In Big Bear -(RHOC S18E5)
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Lara and Carey discuss seminal crook Tom Girardi officially being found guilty of fraud; they also chat about the masculine urge to feign fragility on trial. They talk the Biden family curse (big meaty d*cks), Yolanda Hadid’s rancher cosplay in the A.D. tour of her Texas mansion, and Matt Lauer’s daughter pulling a Shannon Beador in the Hamptons (d…
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PATREON TEASER: Mormon's Mom Got it Going On
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Lara and Carey are back in the stu for a long recap of Hulu’s Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, featuring a gaggle of soft swinging twenty-something Mormon women and their gay husbands. They also discuss Casey Anthony’s new alleged sports bar romance and Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s cringe-worthy behavior at the US Open. Listen to this episode ad-fr…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Golf Woes & SheEOs (RHOC S18E4)
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Lara and Carey are back for more Orange County splendor, but first they discuss more developments in the terrifying case of the infant killing PhD student, Casey Anthony’s sports bar purgatory and her babe?supreme doc on Peacock, and Vicki’s new trademarked Puerto Vallarta watering hole, aplty named “Whoop It Up!” Then on RHOC, Heather and Terry di…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Squatter in the Grass (RHOC S18E3)
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Carey and Lara reveal a shocking new BleepGate twist, and the irresistible urge to impersonate a journalist. They also discuss Vooki Gunvalson's near-death experience and her lost two hours. Back on RHOC, Gina and Jenn pick up post-coffee date, with Gina fuming over Jenn's squatter turn. Then the ladies convene for Emily's Flag Football game, much …
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Get access to weekly bonus episodes + video episodes by joining the SUP PATREON. We have arrived... in Loadtember! Lara and Carey celebrate the end of August, as they look September right in the eye. They discuss Glenn Close's iconic turn in Lee Daniels's The Deliverance, their unwavering love of Vox Lux, and a slew of new horror movies yet to come…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Single Trite Female (RHOC S18E2)
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Lara and Carey are back with a second recap of season 18 of RHOC, but first they have some ground to cover: a Russian man getting gored by a female bull for good reasons, a Massachusetts town on lockdown from a mosquito-borne pestilence, a new epidemic of children accidentally being served alcohol at restaurants, and more. Back in the OC, Alexis an…
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Beltway Bitches Ep. 11 - The Vineyard Has Two Faces (RHODC S1E11)
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Lara and Carey return for one more recap of the maiden voyage of Real Housewives of DC. They discuss Lara's love affair with Waymo, a woman's breastmilk popsicle emporium, Ryan Seacrest's ex-girlfriend's shards-war against American Airlines, and Jeremy Madix's marijuana trafficking bust in Florida. On the final part of the RHODC Reunion, Tareq ente…
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PATREON TEASER: Journey to the Center of the Harmonic Egg
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Lara and Carey discuss Lara's upcoming stint inside a Harmonic Egg, Carey's confusion over 5G, and the spooky allure of Topanga Canyon. They also talk the first official death of Burning Man 2024, Dr. Deb Medicine Woman, Alex Consani making history, Lady Gaga's cofffee order reveal, Ben Affleck's alleged friendship with Kick Kennedy and his chaotic…
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O.C.U.N.T.S - Who's Afraid of Shannon Beador? (RHOC S18E1)
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Lara and Carey are back and the ides of August remain as harrowing as ever. They discuss a new AI rendering of Christ: A new twist in the Shroud of Turin, Mary Magdalene as the original F*g Hag, pansexual Jesus, sinister gay Judas, wound-p*ssies + more. The Real Martyrs of Orange County have returned: Shannon Beador continues to heal from her drunk…
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Beltway Bitches Ep. 10 - Millennium Brain (RHODC S1E10)
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Lara and Carey discuss compartmentalizing in the face of the the Stassi renaissance that will soon befall us all and Michelle Pfeiffer joining the Taylor Sheridan extended universe. On the part one of the RHODC reunion, 4/5 of the cast prepare to go to war against Michaele Salahi. The timing of her MS announcement is questioned, as well as her stan…
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SPECIAL BONUS EPISODE: Pompeii's Next Top Model
1:17:55
1:17:55
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1:17:55
An August miracle! Lara and Carey decide to hit the stu one more time this week for an extra special FREE bonus episode. They discuss LA's recent earthquake streak and Ellen Degeneres's $100 million house sale (and her possible Heads Up). Plus, a Pompeii double header including newly unearthed skeletons in a permanent place of clutch, Madonna renti…
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Beltway Bitches Ep. 9 - White House Clown (RHODC S1E9)
1:06:06
1:06:06
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1:06:06
Lara and Carey ditch their hot topics segment for Lara's update on a shoncking twist in her Roman Holiday. Then on the final episode of RHODC ever the ladies reel from the seismic fallout of the Salahis crashing the White House state dinner. Michaele and Tareq find themselves in a media blitz from Matt Lauer to Larry King, all the way to the Capito…
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Beltway Bitches Ep. 8 - Invasion of the Party Snatchers
1:03:26
1:03:26
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1:03:26
Lara and Carey discuss Michaele Salahi's newest foray into Black Widowdom, this time at the center of a lawsuit alongside her Journey guitarist husband Neal Schon, the fall of Buca di Beppo, and a rogue Swiftie Horde in Poland. Back on RHODC, the Salahis prepare for their big debut at the White House State Dinner for India. Lynda hosts a fashion sh…
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PATREON TEASER: The Olymprick Games
5:52
5:52
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5:52
Lara and Carey are back in LA, and a new chapter begins in the brand new Sexy Unique Podcast studio! New stu. Same lols. Larz and Carz react to their plush surroundings, in a spiritual and physical sense. Then they discuss the transphobic psychosis surrounding Week One of the Paris Olympics, the untold horrors at the bottom of the Seine River, the …
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PATREON TEASER: The FBI's Most Wanted Pig
4:33
4:33
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4:33
Lara and Carey are back from Summer Tour, and live to tell the tales. They discuss their weary acceptance of Los Angeles, Lara's review of "Longlegs" AND "A Quiet Place: Day One" (SPOILERS!), Jax checking into a mental health facility and Rachel weighing in, "See Him F*ck" porn, Gwyneth's Year 9 rain dance and the alleged TRUE STORY of Derek Blasbe…
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Beltway Bitches Ep. 7- Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Bootsing (RHODC S1E7)
1:16:41
1:16:41
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1:16:41
Lara and Carey discuss a new development in the Todd and Julie Chrisley prison saga that could see Julie's sentence greatly reduced, and Carey tries to exorcise his fear of state of perma-panic over medical bills and the IRS. They also discuss the new Sherri Papini series on Hulu and white women in their 30s being afraid of getting sex-trafficked. …
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