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Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcas…
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Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcas…
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Introduction How effective are resolutions? Do they work? Statistics tell us that on average between 64-80% of New Year's resolutions are abandoned in the first 3-weeks of committing to the resolution. In this podcast we talk about comparison to others and comparison to ourselves versus compassion for self and compassion for others. Often New Year’…
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In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. In this podcast we continue this conversation and give 4 key factors of how to start unlocking our authentic self. Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman developed an Authenticity Inventory back in 2000 comprised of four key factors needed for authentic…
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In this podcast we talk about what it is like to live authentically during the holidays. We reference the 8 qualities and how we personally will look to incorporate these into our holidway experience with friends and family. 8 Qualities of Authenticity: Curiosity Calm Clarity Connectedness Confidence Courage Creativity Compassion…
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In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. Adam Grant Living an authentic life with courage is meeting your fear, looking it in the eye, but diving in anyway because it is ho…
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Regretfully Yours (Part 2) The Four Categories of Regret from part 1 are: 1. Foundational Regrets - “If only I had more…” 2. Boldness Regrets - “If only took a risk …” 3. Moral Regret - “If I had that decision back I would have…” 4. Connection Regrets - “If I would have stayed connected to…” How to Respond to Regret: 1. Be Aware of it (this is what…
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Regret is one of our most powerful feelings and regrettably one of the most misunderstood. Regret covers a myriad of circumstances from wishing we would have eaten oatmeal instead of the cinnamon danish this morning for breakfast to feeling remorse for not telling a loved one how much we loved them before they died. The Four Categories of Regret: 1…
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Book Overview: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover is a groundbreaking self-help book that challenges the traditional concept of what it means to be a "nice guy" and offers a transformative path for men seeking greater fulfillment and success in their personal and professional lives. In this…
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Book Overview: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Dr. Robert A. Glover is a groundbreaking self-help book that challenges the traditional concept of what it means to be a "nice guy" and offers a transformative path for men seeking greater fulfillment and success in their personal and professional lives. In this…
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In this podcast we discuss how to be assertive in our #5-#7 circles of relationships paradigm. These circles consist of work, giving, boundaries, possesions and coping mechanisms of life. Circle #5 – The Mandatory Relationships (work and to do lists) Assertiveness in the workplace means being confident in communicating our opinions, suggestions, ch…
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ASSERTIVENESS IN THE ESSENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS OF LIFE In this podcast we discuss the importance of using assertiveness in the essential relationships in our life. We use the paradigm Circle of Relationships. Circle #1 – The SOURCE Relationship It is where I discover self. It is the internal and the eternal. It is where I find my purpose and passion …
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Why is Assertiveness important? If we don’t have it we won't know what we want and how to get it. We leave fate to write our story. Fate is a horrible author. What is Assertiveness? The best contribution to learning to be assertive is to be learning about myself. I can’t teach others how to respect me if I haven’t learned what there is to respect a…
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FORMATING FORGIVENESS If individuals could apply themselves to pursuing this one thing it could vastly improve personal and relational health. This one thing to pursue is a deep understanding and application of… forgiveness. Forgiveness is a basis for a life well lived. In order to have a good establishment of life it is good to understand the foun…
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Circle Four - Intentionality These are the actions that we do. This is WHAT we do. Outcome and behavior driven. A secure identity, with a sensitivity to our feelings and the feelings of others, and an acute accurate thinking makes way to beneficial action. - We don’t become a new person by changing our behavior, our behavior is evidence of our chan…
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Authentic Living (Mentality) Part 3 Circle 3 - Mentality (Think) These are the beliefs and stories that we tell ourselves. This is Where we are going. Process driven. Potential Pitfall- Intellectualizing. Quotes on thinking: Rene Descartes, the French philosopher, stated in 1637 - Cogito, ergo sum - “I think therefore I am”. Probably the most signi…
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Authentic Living (Sensitivity) Part 2 Circle 2 - Sensitivity (Feel)These are the Emotions that reinforce our identity. This is How we feel. What would emotions from the outside-in look like vs. emotions from inside-out look like? Outside-in: Feeling Angry about our behavior and then thinking we shouldn’t do that. Trying to attack the behavior with …
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In this podcast we discuss suggested questions men have had and continue to have about authenticity. Here are some of the questions we discussed: Is there such a thing as having different levels of authenticity? Is the authentic self created/invented or discovered? What is the risk of being authentic? What makes overcoming inauthenticity so hard? I…
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In this podcast we discuss suggested questions men have had and continue to have about authenticity. Here are some of the questions we discussed: Why is authenticity important for us as members and leaders of AMG? How hard is it to be authentic in our culture? Is authenticity a state we stay in or are we in out of it? Do the stages of life change o…
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Men often struggle with understanding the difference between rest and laziness. We either rest and feel lazy or we are lazy and don't get rest. Here are some definitions of each: Laziness: the quality of being unwilling to work or use energy; idleness. Rest: to cease work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself, or recover strength. Laziness…
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Redefining Success It is important to define success for ourselves. If we do not, it will be defined for us. The Construct of Success: Merriam-Webster’s definition: the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame. the correct or desired result of an attempt. a person or thing that succeeds. Defining childhood upbringing and development of…
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Awkward and embarrassing things happen, it is all part of the human experience. How we handle these experiences can impact us greatly. When you are sitting on the toilet at public restroom and you see a stranger through the crack in the door. When you have someone at your house and they will not leave. When there is confusion between a hug and a ha…
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Three things we bring to every relationship. Energy Time Resources Energy Definition - The strength and vitality required for sustained physical, emotional or mental activity. Tailor your life to things that express and create passion. Be aware of obsessions and obligations. Synergy comes from energy. Rest is a big part of creating energy. Ask the …
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In this podcast we talk about three components of living a could life. 1. Living 2. Loving 3. Leaving Start by asking yourself these questions: How could I live? What is living? Really living? Not just existing but truly living. What’s musing? What’s missing? What does it look like to live out of our imagination, not our history? What does it look …
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Could is the focus word of the Benevolent State or state. This is where a man turns from the mirror and seeing his goodness to looking out the window to see how he can use his goodness to change and transform others. The word could indicates that someone has the ability to do something. In this stage we are making the proactive proclamation - “I am…
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The Second word is “Good” This word good is a good one isn’t it. Ask the question, “Is it good to be me?” I think this is what makes good such a foundational descriptor for men’s groups. When we say to men “You are a good man” we are actually saying, you are good just the way you are right now and you don’t have to hide from that”. In AMG we make i…
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When we talk about transformation we are talking about change, evolution, resurrection, revision, metamorphosis. To identify these stages we are going to use three words: Should - Discovery, Good - Maintenance and Could - Benevolence These three words align with the different stages men are in as they participate in small men’s groups. The First wo…
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Secrets Reflect Our Beliefs About Ourselves “I must hide myself and what I have a tendency to do in the future.” “I must hide myself because of what I did in the past.” Shame and guilt are the core beliefs of what underlies these statements. Guilt says, “I did something wrong” Shame says, “I am something wrong” Both of these core beliefs leave us p…
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Introduction When I think of the topic of secrets it is an essential focus of Authentic Men’s Groups. One of the axioms of AMG is that ‘we have no secret that we have not told someone’. Another truth we live by is to be ‘authentic to everyone and vulnerable (completely open) to a select few’. It has been stated that “the secret sauce of Authentic M…
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The Negative Relationships Error Friends Examples: Wife had an affair with best friend. People that have gone through divorce. Not being supported by best friend when going through transition with my wife. These were friends that turned out and then turned on us. They went from close to far (from inner circles #3 and #4 relationships to outer circl…
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The Sex Connect Introduction Sex is more than hooking up… or is it? If we are meaning connection when we use the phrase “hooking up” then this may be exactly what sex is all about. The word connection is defined as “a relationship in which a person, thing or idea is linked or associated with something else” If we can link our associations together …
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Vulnerability Does Not Bite Introduction Definition of vulnerability: The quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally. With this definition who would want to be vulnerable? Why are we doing this thing if this what the definition is? Vulnerability may seem scary and if not done i…
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Father’s 3 Virtues Introduction Here are some quotes about fathers made in AMG sessions: I never heard my dad tell me he loved me, ever. When I had a dream or a vision I had it dashed by my father. I began to measure up to my Dad when I made more money than he did. I don’t ever remember my dad and mother hugging. My dad only showed one emotion and …
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Rethinking Masculinity General Outline: Why toxic masculine norms need to be challenged and masculinity redefined. What are toxic masculine norms How AMG is challenging toxic masculine norms and redefining masculinity​. Why Toxic Masculine Norms need to be challenged and Masculinity redefined. There are multiple movements going on right now seeking…
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Men are hiding in one of two places, they are either hiding from success or hiding in success. Most men hide from success by just staying away from it and flying below radar. In this way their failures or perceived failures will never be seen. The other type of hider, are the men that hide in their success. These men though fewer in number have a f…
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