Trauma Informed Parenting ציבורי
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Robyn Gobbel is a writer, trainer, speaker, and educator dedicated to understanding why humans behave the way they behave. She teaches parents of children who have experienced trauma how the brain works, why behaviors are simply an externalization of what's happening in the brain, body, and nervous system, and how to respond to children's behaviors in a way the creates healing, not just behavior change.
 
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My guest on this week’s podcast is Michael Remole, a mental health therapist in Central Illinois who integrates trauma-informed equine assisted psychotherapy into his work with clients. A horse-lover since childhood, Michael was working on his master’s degree in counseling when he realized he could integrate his love for horses with his passion for…
 
Theraplay is a dyadic (parent/child) treatment modality for supporting children and families that focuses on harnessing the power of the relationship between the child and their caregiver as path toward change and healing. Theraplay places a priority on strengthening the parent/child relationship as the way to create change for a child or within a …
 
"The brainstem is developed, soothed, and repaired through experiences that are rhythmic, repetitive, relational, and somatosensory" ~ Bruce Perry, MD, PhD This is part 3 of the Strengthening the Foundation of the Brain series. The brainstem is the lowest, most inside region of the brain. It sits at the base of the brain and connects the skull brai…
 
Melissa Corkum was the obvious guest to invite on the podcast as part of this Building the Foundation Brain Series. Melissa was adopted as an infant from Korea and is also a adoptive mom. She is the co-host and co-founder of The Adoption Connection Podcast- which has now evolved into so much more than a podcast. Melissa has been supporting adoptive…
 
This podcast probably isn’t your first experience with a parenting ‘expert’ or-- if you listen because you’re a therapist, this probably isn’t your first experience with a child therapist ‘expert.’ The parents and professionals I know are searching for something that makes sense, something that works. You may have had a felt sense all along that so…
 
Amy Stoeber is a clinical psychologist in the Portland, OR area. She has a small private practice where she works with kids and families who have a history of trauma and toxic stress. Amy also trains medical professionals on recognizing trauma in their patients and families, and then helps them know how to support the building of strong thriving fa…
 
“Life is messy. Parenting is messy. Cooking is messy. But if we do it together, we are creating experiences of togetherness with our children that teaches them they are safe, loved, and empowered.” Social media might be good for something after all- like meeting really neat people like Chef Kibby from Cookin’ With Kibby. Kibby is a professional che…
 
Y'all- I'm on vacation! Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts! 40 episodes in a row! Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Therapist Uncensored podcast. This was my second time on Therapist Uncensored- the first time was a few years a…
 
Y'all- I'm on vacation! Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts! 40 episodes in a row! Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Empowered to Connect podcast. It was one of my favorite interviews ever because it felt like I became instant f…
 
Y'all- I'm on vacation! Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts! 40 episodes in a row! Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Attachment Theory in Action podcast with Karen Buckwalter (do you remember when Karen was my guest??) Earlier t…
 
Y'all- I'm on vacation! Well not really, I'm still working but I need a rest from recording new podcasts! 40 episodes in a row! Not bad for a podcast on a whim ;) Today I'm sharing with you a podcast episode from when I was a guest on The Attachment Theory in Action podcast with Karen Buckwalter (do you remember when Karen was my guest??) Earlier t…
 
Today we wrap up this month's focus on attachment with my dear mentor and friend, Bonnie Badenoch. Bonnie Badenoch, PhD, LMFT is a thought-leader in the relational neurosciences. When I think about her contribution to this emerging field of study, I think ‘integrator.’ Bonnie has helped us all feel into the many different strands that are woven tog…
 
Part 6 of 6 in the June series on attachment! The part you've probably been waiting for: how does attachment change? If you haven't caught the previous five episodes in this series on attachment, be sure to check them out. In this episode, we look at How important it is to recognize insecure attachment as protective, trusting in the truth that thin…
 
***Possible Trigger Warning*** Learning about disorganized attachment might feel overwhelming and bring up uncomfortable feelings. Listen in a place and at a time you can take breaks and seek regulation. Titrate yourself! Maybe read the article on the blog instead of listening to the podcast. www.RobynGobbel.com/disorganizedattachment *********** A…
 
Another episode in the June series on attachment! Today is all about insecure avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible. So smart! In this episode, we look at The behavior patterns that lead to avo…
 
Another episode in the June series on attachment! Today is all about insecure anxious attachment. Anxious attachment is in the category of 'organized' attachment- meaning, the infant figures out an organized way to get their attachment needs met in the best way possible. So smart! In this episode, we look at The behavior patterns that lead to anxio…
 
Here we are with the THIRD episode in this monthly focus on attachment! Today is allllll about secure attachment. 85% of the time, a child’s attachment experience will parallel the working model of attachment of the principal person caring for her. ~Eric Hesse Whoa. Well, if that's the case, the obviously we have to first talk about attachment in a…
 
June is allllll about attachment! We kicked off this special series on attachment last week with my interview with author Bethany Saltman and her memoir "Strange Situation." Today- we are going back to basics. Attachment is something that gets a lot of airtime but also, a lot of confusion. In today's episode we'll talk about John Bolwby and how he …
 
Bethany Saltman is the author of part memoir part biography Strange Situation- A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment. Bethany is a professional researcher, writer, and longtime Zen student who went searching for what she felt was missing when she was a new mom. Like myself, Bethany discovered Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book on attachment paren…
 
I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon. Everything seems great. Fun! Even laughter and real good times. And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down. Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation. I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitel…
 
What if I told you that calm isn't best? Calm isn't what we are working toward! And prioritizing calm gives other states of the nervous system a bad wrap! Calm is just a byproduct of an attempt to regulate! In fact, there are risks to focusing on calm as our primary goal. On today's episode, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S, i…
 
On May 10 and 11, I taught a free masterclass called What Behavior Really Is and How to Change it. Maybe you were there! But maybe you weren’t. To be honest, I do not love watching videos myself. I would much rather put in my ear buds and listen to the audio only- even if it meant missing the slides. So, with that in mind, I’m releasing the audio f…
 
You’ve asked yourself “Is this a behavior that’s coming from my child’s trauma? Or is this regular acting out kid behavior???” Sometimes it’s pretty obvious but if you’re asking yourself that question, you’re probably in a situation where it isn’t obvious. What if I told you it doesn’t matter? Hear me out. Why do you want to figure that out? Usuall…
 
Maybe 'hard' doesn't even come close to describing your Mother's Day. If so, this episode is for you. I awoke at 4am this morning. Not in the plan but sometimes it happens. Up alone in the dark I decided to record an episode for everyone out there who is dreading today. I see you. Your pain is real and it's valid and I see you. I am sending infinit…
 
Marshall Lyles is one of my favorite humans on the planet. How did I get so lucky as to call him one of my closest friends, as well as a dear colleague who enjoys the creation process with me. Marshall is a dad, a therapist, a creator. We met and connected over our love for supporting the familie of kids impacted by trauma, but our relationship has…
 
Kids who have been hurt inside connection and relationship protect themselves from getting hurt again. This can leave us feeling that they don't want connection. Which leaves us feeling like we don't want to offer connection. It starts to hurt too bad to keep offering something so vulnerable when we keep getting rejected. Maybe it would help to kno…
 
You know someone is going to be a ton of fun when their nickname is Queen of Lycra. Dear listeners, let me introduce you to Marti Smith, Occupational Therapist, TBRI Practitioner, and Fellow with the Child Trauma Academy. Marti and I could talk for hours about the sensory system, the body, movement, and the overlap between all of this an attachment…
 
The good Texas social worker that I was (am???) meant I discovered...and loved...Dr. Brene Brown's work on shame resilience pretty early on. I loved it. Finally. A way out of shame! Except...then I stopped loving it. It seemed I couldn't even do shame resilience right because all the things Dr. Brown talked about weren't helping me. It wasn't that …
 
Lacy Alana beautifully reminds us that we don't have to be perfect. Our messiness can meet each other's messiness. We can welcome our kids' messiness, and find the strength to keep welcoming it...even when it seems like nothing is working. Lacy is a therapist, program developer, trapeze artist, and improv genius who comes to the podcast as an adult…
 
We all need co-regulation. Me. You. When our kids are getting dysregulated quickly, flipping their lids a lot, or having mountain reactions out of mole-hill sized problems, what they need is more connection and co-regulation. This is true for grown-ups, too! There is nothing wrong with you because you flip your lid. Your not a bad parent. You don't…
 
I had to share this with you!! I've been getting ready to re-open to doors to The Club (today! March 28!) and re-watching all the videos new members watch to welcome them into The Club. I haven't looked at this videos since I made them a few months ago- I've been pretty focused on creating all the new content in The Club (and of course here on the …
 
I'm so pleased to introduce you to Karen Buckwalter! She is out in the world doing amazing things to support the families of kids impacted by trauma, including training up new clinicians as a Theraplay trainer and consultant, writing books for both therapists (Attachment Theory in Action) and parents (Raising the Challenging Child), and interviewin…
 
Parents of kids with a history of relational and complex trauma are some of the loneliness people I’ve ever known. The loneliness of parenting becomes compounded when the loneliness isn’t seen. The loneliness is traumatic. It leaves an imprint on our spirits that wreaks havoc on our health (physical and mental) and our relationships (with others, a…
 
Jessica Sinarski stays very busy making an impact wherever she can. Jessica trains educators, parents, and professionals- helping them move beyond trauma informed. Jessica is the founder of Brave Brains, an organization that provides resources and education for professionals, and is the author of two amazing children's books. Jessica has a lot of w…
 
Or mad? Or scared? Or overwhelmed? Or shut-down? Why do I make a mountain out of a mole hill? Why can’t I keep it together? Being ignored (or yelled at or cussed at or disrespected or refusing to eat or do a chore or or or or the list is endless) is never going to feel good. But- have you ever wondered why your brain goes into full on attacking wat…
 
Hang on...today's episode is waaaaay different. I wanted to feel more connected to you. So I started with inviting you to feel more connected to me. I asked my dear friend Anne- author, writing coach, and adoptee, to interview ME. I gave her no rules, no script, and no agenda except that I wanted you to get to know me better. We walk down a little …
 
Connection. Empathizing. Offering choices. These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good. So…what should you do instead??? This episode takes you thr…
 
Felt-safety is an important, yet commonly misunderstood part of parenting a child impacted by trauma (well really, parenting any child or being in any relationship, but we are talking about parenting kids impacted by trauma here). So- what even is felt-safety? Why does it matter? And how do we offer it to our children? I'll answer these question in…
 
It's hard to write a summary of this episode because it is so rich with goodness. Mark Vatsaas is a dad and parent coach for parents of kids with challenging behaviors. He's compassionate, clear, articulate, and has a knack for seeing straight through to the heart of the manner (that's my observation of him!!) There are so many brilliant sound byte…
 
Lying is probably the behavior parents seek support with the most. It's confusing. It's triggering. It's exhausting. Did you catch last week's episode on X Ray Vision Goggles? We can use those goggles to get underneath the lying so we can respond in ways that actually sets the boundary and increases the possibility of helping our children developin…
 
My first podcast interview!!! And I tell you what- I chose wisely :) Eileen is a gem and you'll adore her. Eileen is a social worker and parent coach for parents of kids with brain-based difference that have challenging behavioral symptoms. AWESOME, right? Over the years, Eileen has become a good friend and close colleague. She is doing life-changi…
 
Hear me out....If I were in charge of giving out superpowers for parents, especially parents of kids with a history of trauma, I'd give you x-ray vision. Attachment research is clear about the power of x-ray vision (except they call is reflective functioning and mentalizing). It is a powerful ingredient of secure attachment. In today's episode we w…
 
What if I told you the science is very clear- that our kids do not need perfect parents. Not only that, but perfect parenting would be bad for them! It might seem great in theory if we could always meet our kids needs. It might sound great in theory if someone else could always meet our needs! But when a relationship has a rupture- the next thing t…
 
You've heard me say "Changing How We See People Changes People." Let's talk about how I know this is true. It helps us understand why understanding the theory is a 'technique' and why staying regulated 'is a technique' that creates real, true change. We come to know who we are through the eyes of the other. Let's teach our children they are preciou…
 
How do we not flip our lids when our kids are going bananas? It's HARD. Because dysregulation is quite literally contagious!! And if we flip our lids too then it's usually pretty hard to deescalate the situation. Offering connection, regulation, and felt-safety to our kids is a lot easier if we don't flip our lids! (Although for sure- perfection in…
 
Self-regulation is a crucial developmental milestone and I’m thrilled that we are turning our eyes toward self-regulation instead of staying focused on behavior modification through rewards and consequences. At the same time, we must remember that self-regulation is developed through repeated and regular experiences of co-regulation with an attuned…
 
I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons. #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science. #2- Self-compassion has tenacity. There's no way out. Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy o…
 
The brain has two modes- connection or protection. Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connection. If we want to help shift our children's oppositional behaviors, we must first help their brain shift out of protection and into protection! You can read more on my blog! robyngobbe…
 
In a word...EVERYTHING. I talk about regulation constantly. So let's take a moment (or 25 minutes) and really define what that even is. This episode defines regulation and then defines why it even matters. When we can see how regulation is underneath behavior challenges, we can prioritize supporting regulation and not just stopping a behavior. This…
 
OOOOH...y'all are in for such a treat because Anne is just that. A treat. Anne is an author, writing coach, and adoptee. Her memoir, "You Don't Look Adopted" is pure gold. It's heart-wrenching and funny and raw and life-changing. You should read it. But first listen to our little conversation today about the importance of figuring out how to say th…
 
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