My Doula Story

Authentic Wellness Podcast

It’s been a while since I’ve released a new episode. I appreciate your understanding during this time of transition. You see, I haven’t just been sitting around eating red velvet cake and eating buttered pecan ice cream; two of my absolute favorite desserts, by the way.

I’ve been immersing myself in all things birth doula.

WHAT IS A DOULA?

A doula is a professional birth assistant. A birth doula helps a woman to learn and practice positions and techniques for labor and birth. A doula assists an expectant mother in crafting a birth plan - a list of ideal actions during labor and birth. A doula supports the mother's decisions even if she changes her mind from what is listed on the birth plan. A doula also provides emotional support by letting mom know her feelings are valid. In short, a doula is a person who creates and/or holds space for the mom to feel confident asking questions, making requests, and providing encouragement when doubt creeps in.

DOULAS HELP DADS TOO

A doula isn’t just there to help mom while she is in labor. A doula is a benefit to Dad as well. Most importantly, doulas are there to give partners a break. Sometimes labor can take many hours and Dads get tired. A doula can step in to provide support. Doulas can also take pictures of intimate moments. Most importantly, doulas help partners not feel left out of the process.

WHY DID I DECIDE TO BECOME A DOULA?

I decided to become a doula because my experiences with labor and birth were less than stellar. I was extremely young when I got pregnant the first time. I want to say that that is why the providers never really asked my input or opinion on anything, but I’ve heard too many horror stories for that to be the case.

I labored at home for about 12 hours before going to the hospital. It is important to note that I didn’t even know I was in labor. I was slightly uncomfortable. I went to the hospital after losing my mucus plug. That’s when I got the IV and was subject to the pokes and prods of everyone who entered the room. No one bothered to introduce themselves to me, they just spoke in my general direction when they were about to check my dilation. Once I reached 10 centimeters and was fully effaced, it was time to push. I don’t remember feeling the urge, I remember them telling me it was time. This, I believe, is where the problems began.

Each time I pushed, my son would slide down, then politely crawl back to his safe haven. I am not sure of the timing, but it felt like this went on for several hours. Next, the doctor called for the forceps. When those didn’t work, out came the suction cup. At some point, I was given an episiotomy. Still, not one asked my permission or opinion on any of these interventions.

When my son was born, he was whisked away and I didn’t see him until many hours later. Even then, I had to call the nurse’s station for them to bring him in. I am sure they took it upon themselves to give him a bottle. My son did not latch on to my breast and he was bottle-fed going forward.

With the birth of my daughter, the experience was much better than the first. I had a provider that listened to me and answered my questions without looking at me like I had two heads. I was offered an epidural and was comfortable during labor. The nurses asked for my input prior to doing anything. The baby was born fairly quickly and not given a bottle. I was able to feed her with no problems.

With my last birth, I was proactive about everything. I made a birth plan, sought out a midwife, and made sure they knew I wanted to be a part of all decisions regarding my care and the care of my son. As you and I both know, things don’t always go as planned. When the baby was born, there was meconium and he needed to be suctioned and examined right away. Being that his health was at risk, I was okay with relinquishing the bit of control I had.

All that to say, I am dedicated to supporting women to have the birth experience they desire. You deserve to birth the way you want whether that be at home, in a birthing center, or in a hospital. It is all valid and worthy of support.

HOW DO THEY MIX

As a life coach, I get to support women as they work (labor) to bring forth a new version of themselves. I support them as they set goals and move from one milestone to another. Similar to pregnancy, labor, and birth I get to support women through the process of bringing forth life and literally becoming a new person: a mother.

In both situations, it is imperative that you have someone who is clearly on your side and willing to present evidence-based research and set SMART goals for the most ideal outcome.

Have you ever hired a doula or a life coach? How do you think they intersect?

Leave me a comment so we can talk about it.