Manage episode 280956816 series 2532824
Forget about writing a useless New Years Resolution. Here’s a better way for dancers to prepare for the best year of our lives. Listen and find out what it is! This episode gives you time to reflect and create.
It’s the end of 2020! Holy shit. 2020 has schooled me.
I want this coming year to be the best year of our lives. Full of dance. Full of joy. Full of growth. This special episode of A Little Lighter is all about that. I’m going to give you the some time to reflect, celebrate and create the coming year.
New Years Resolutions Don’t Work
There’s such a flurry around New Years resolutions at the end of the year. I’m not really into them. They just don’t seem to work. They’re like disposable underwear. We pick them out, try them on, and throw them out.
Before making the leap to next year, let’s pause, breath, and reflect on the past 12 months.
What did we learn? What was special? Where did we dance?
What do we want to remember about 2020?
I’m sure we all remember some of the things that broke us down, tore us apart and brought us fits of rage.
What moved you? What opened your heart?
What I want to remember about 2020: ______________
You might remember a few episodes back when I mentioned that I was heading to Korea, and I have a surprise for you. We adopted a baby girl. Our son is 4, and he is also adopted from Korea. Now we all have each other. A forever family for us all to love.
I am sure some of you wonder why people adopt. Adoption was my first choice. Blended families have always moved me. We were open to adopting domestically or internationally, and a social worker thought Korea was a good fit, and love took us the rest of the way.
A New Mission
And I have a new mission. How to be an unstoppable and kind mother of 2 kiddos AND keep growing and dancing and sharing the gifts I have for you.
So let’s reflect a little. Just briefly, and you can reflect more on your own if you like. I will share first. And then I want you to share. Write down your reflection or just think it or say it out loud.
3 big lessons I learned this past year were:
#1. Finally starting to be an antiracist. I’m not proud that it has taken me so damn long, but I am thrilled that this has begun.
#2. Dancing with fire. Fire is my element. It is who I am. I have let the fire in me burn myself and others before. Now I am learning to dance with it. I turned 40 on Halloween this year, dancing with my palm torches lit beneath the full moon. I was never ready in life to light up fire toys. But this year I did the work, and now I get the magic.
#3. How to dance and party with my nuclear family at home with the same high energy I would have dancing in a giant crowd at a festival
What are some of the biggest lessons you learned this past year?
What do you want to carry forward with you? I’ll play some music for just a minute and you can dance or think or write or sing. Whatever moves you right now.
Some of the biggest lessons I learned the past 12 months: ________________
What are 3 beautiful dance moments you had in the past 12 months?
Think back. 2020 was not a year of haflas, festivals, live shows, in-person classes. This year has been different.
I’ll be releasing an interview with Brenna Crowley of NYC soon, and in it she said something that brought me chills all over my body. She said the hallways and the rooftops of New York have become the stages. The sidewalks, the kitchens. Everyone is an amateur film maker now. It’s incredible isn’t it?
What were some of those special dance moments?
For me, the first time I lit my palm torches and danced for my husband and son was so powerful. Like I just learned how to fly. And another was after I created my basement dance studio mirror and floor and finally had the space that was all for me to create. And when I had a group of musicians ready to play music outside and the weather shifted so we busted into a dirty garage, opened the doors and played with the rain pouring down. So many beautiful moments.
What were yours?
What were some special dance moments this past year?
A few of my beautiful dance moments from the past 12 months: ________________
Tony Robbins talks a lot about stacking. We often stack negative things. My car broke down, my back hurts, I’m on hold again. And then we feel stuck. We can stack beautiful moments and they will propel us in the direction of our dreams.
What question did you keep asking yourself this past year?
What question have you asked yourself over and over? Maybe you don’t even say it out loud. It’s the question that’s looping in your brain. This is what Tony Robbins calls your primary question.
What question is driving your emotions? Your reactions? Your thoughts?
It may take some time to realize what it is. Realizing your primary question is crucial to your happiness. If you are frustrated, disappointed, or unhappy often, dig into that. I bet your primary question is in there.
Why is this so hard? Why doesn’t anyone ever help me? Why don’t they listen? How am I supposed to do this?
When left unattended, our primary question can get pretty negative sometimes.
So here’s a chance to ponder this.
What is the question you keep asking yourself?
Maybe when you are washing dishes or driving or about to fall asleep.
My primary question used to be “How am I supposed to get all this shit done?”
Yuck. Words are free. I could say anything in the entire world to myself in multiple languages, and was unconsciously repeating that.
When you get it, write it down. And of course, you may realize that you are lying to yourself and you wrote down the question you want to keep asking yourself. Stick with it until you write down the question you actually ask yourself everyday.
My primary question is: _______________________
Even if this past year will go down in history as the year that truly sucked, we still learned and grew and had amazing moments.
Thank you for reflecting with me. If I didn’t give you enough time, please listen to this podcast again and focus more on just one or two things until you feel complete or do it on your own.
It’s Time to Ask Better Questions
Now let’s look forward into the upcoming year. Let’s start with asking a better question. One that drives you toward your dreams instead of making you feel bad.
Let’s start by just saying what we want more of. What do you value? Love. Peace. Energy. Rest. Health. Abundance. Playfulness, Fun, Dance. Time. Gratitude. Connection. Freedom. Creativity. Service. Power. Go for it.
What do you want more of? Here’s your chance. Say it out loud.
I want more: _____________
Let one of those words rise to the top. Let it take center stage. If there are a few you can’t choose between, that’s cool. Construct a question using one or more of those words. I’ll give you a little hint that could help.
Say the word that is strongest for you right now is Freedom. Combine that with the question “How can I appreciate even more.” For example: “How can I appreciate the freedom I already have even more?”
How can I appreciate ______ even more?
Just in case hearing another example helps, my primary question went from “How am I going to get all of this shit done? to “How can I have fun creating clarity and abundance for myself and others even more?”
How can I appreciate this moment even more?
So ask a shitty question, get a shitty answer. Ask a better question.
My new primary question is: _________________
Thank you for reflecting on your year with me. If you didn’t have enough time to figure out your old and new primary question, take more time now or when you are in the shower or whenever you can. Email me if you want help with it. firstname.lastname@example.org. Really! It’s right on the top of my website aliciafree.com
And thank you for being part of this podcast just by listening. Please reach out to me anytime. I’m here.
Happy New Year!