Manage episode 298056245 series 2911797
New and extraordinary emotional truth is shared in this session wherein Figs and Teale stop defending their stories and start experiencing the empathy and connection they long for. Discover insights into how reactivity can be an essential precursor to vulnerability.
01:06 Small talk — Life in Hawaii
05:22 Intro to the session: The ways couples normally try to solve problems
08:07 Therapy tools: "My story is that…"
10:10 Transitioning from story of other to experience of self
13:48 Honoring the reactive cycle before dropping into vulnerability
15:30 Accessing Teale's attachment history
17:35 Session begins — Defending their stories
21:12 Why Figs uses anger
23:50 Teale's story of "I'm the wronged one"
24:48 Feeling behind the anger: Figs is alone | Teale empathizing with Figs
30:33 Teale's hurt and past around anger in men
33:33 Teale protesting with "I don't want to tolerate it"
35:09 Figs feeling triggered around "I'm not gonna tolerate it"
37:36 Teale wants to reorganize her narrative of her life
40:39 Discussing Teale's (triggering) family history
45:17 Teale's family with Figs is healing
46:20 Figs becomes emotional over being that person for Teale
48:25 Teale feels love for that fiery part of Figs
50:42 Session ends — What is your story?
51:08 Scary and activating for Teale to share her attachment history
54:15 Figs' journey to vulnerable empathy for Teale
56:59 Big vulnerable feelings may not look dramatic on the outside
59:49 Feeling activated first helps in moving to deeper vulnerable feelings
01:03:28 Ending chit-chat: The Bro and the Angry Irishman
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