Ep 220: The funny things we do to feel safe: On control, self-criticism and wanting to belong.

SelfKind with Erica Webb

Today on SelfKind with Erica Webb (that's me!), I'm responding to a topic request from a listener; one that I think is very relatable.
Self-criticism, self-doubt, unkind and unhelpful thoughts ... why do we, at times, resort to this when we're worried about being criticised by others? Why do we ultimately try to beat them to it; harming ourselves before they can harm us?
In this episode you'll hear some of my thoughts around this, including the questions you can explore to more deeply understand yourself (while fostering self-compassion and curiosity).
You'll hear:

• Why the drive for certainty, safety, and control can lead us to behave and react in ways we may not predict or expect
• Why tuning into the body can help us decode otherwise confusing thoughts
• The role of values in helping us shift patterns of behaviour that no longer align
• The vital role of curiosity
• Why getting more deeply invested in your humanity is more helpful than trying to 'fix' yourself.

Share your thoughts with me over on Instagram or via my website.
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פרקים

1. Self-Wounding and the Desire for Control (00:00:00)

2. Tips for Self-Exploration and Growth (00:14:37)