143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER

Simple on Purpose | Intentional Living and Parenting

There is a type of clutter we ALL have in our home. It is identity clutter - you know those items that for someone we are not - but rather for different versions of ourselves: our past self, our aspirational self, our socially-compliant self, and our test self. I walk you through these four types of identity clutter, how they challenge our sense of self and what we can learn from them. Make sure to get the download worksheet of the four types and clutter questions you can ask to help you decide what to do with the identity clutter. What is identity clutter? Identity clutter are things in our home that are Who we used to be (past self) Who we wish we could be (aspirational self) Who others think we should be (socially-compliant self) Who we think we are, but we aren’t sure, probably just following a trend (test self) How do trends contribute to identity clutter? A lot of our identity clutter comes from trying out trends. And it makes sense that we, as humans, would follow trends. There is safety in being part of the community, there is a sense of status we can display, and we are looking to others to inform us on what is socially acceptable. However, the more we move from trend to trend, the less we actually take time to get to know who we are and what we like BEYOND the trends. The physical burden of identity clutter The more obvious problem that identity clutter causes us is the use of space. The more space we give to storing these items, the less space we have for living our life. The important question to consider here is: how do I WANT to use my space? This should also be an intentional and purposeful decision. The emotional burden of identity clutter Whenever we see these items stored in our home, we are constantly reminded of who we AREN'T being. It can cause feelings like shame, or loss, or guilt, or frustration. It can also cause overwhelm because it adds to the list of options of how we should spend our time and the person we should be. It can cause decision fatigue if a very subtle way. When to declutter the identity clutter? In my experience with decluttering, it happens in waves. We start with the low hanging fruit, the hard 'no's. As we come back to these spaces from time to time, we keep refining and editing down from the bad/good to the ok/good then to the good/great. The identity clutter, sentimental items and items we think are valuable are ones we often leave until a later stage as they require more examination and thought. Episode 90 covers the items that have us asking 'what if I need this one day?' Why is identity clutter hard to get rid of? Each of these versions of 'us' can be hard to let go of. From mourning our past selves, to honouring our upbringing and all the 'stuff' that comes with that, to acknowledging the parts of our aspirational selves we are ready to let go of. You can listen to the When Shopping Isn't Making Your Life Better episode for more on the motivation behind our 'trend' self. Each of these types of Identity Clutter brings along its own need to learn from, accept and integrate the lessons this item of clutter has taught us. Make sure to get the free download to help you walk through questions for each type of identity clutter, and decide what to do about it. Products recommended here may include referral links to Amazon. If you click through and buy something I may earn a commission, at no cost to you. SIMPLE PLEASURE OF THE WEEK This simple pleasure is a shout out to all the cold Canadians who are on their first days of Fall. This heated shawl gets me through the colder months. It is also my go-to when I have a migraine or when my kids want a little extra comfort while sick. Full Transcript (unedited) 0:07 Welcome to the podcast, where I aim to keep all of the episodes 20 minutes or less, so that we can squeeze in these virtual coffee dates,