Fran & Jesus on the Job – Boundaries – 2

The Christian Working Woman

Do you know when and how to set reasonable boundaries? Fran is facing some boundary issues. She has a little trouble distinguishing between what it means to go the extra mile and becoming an enabler. It’s Tuesday and Fran has a plate full of things to get done for one of her most important clients before a deadline on Wednesday. As she digs in, a coworker walks into her office. “Hey, Fran, how’s it going?” It’s Amy, a nice gal who is a project manager like Fran, but who somehow always seems to need help from others—especially Fran! “Hi, Amy. Well, it’s going good, but I’m under the gun to meet a deadline by tomorrow. How are things going for you?” Uh-oh, Fran thinks, that was not the best question to ask. So, Amy begins to slowly talk about a presentation she is preparing for a new prospect tomorrow, but she is stumped. “Fran, I know you’re busy, but you’re so smart and so fast, if you could just look over my presentation and give me your opinion, I would be so grateful. It won’t take you ten minutes. How about it?” The voice in her head says, “Don’t go there, Fran. This is a time to say no.” But her exaggerated idea of what it means to “go the extra mile” overcomes her better sense, and she agrees that she can give Amy ten minutes. What happens? Ten minutes turns into three hours, where basically Fran completely redesigns her presentation, and Amy is thrilled. “Sorry it took so long, Fran, but I know you’ll do a great job on your project. Thanks so much,” and off she goes. Now Fran has to take her work home, take time away from her family and her sleep in order to meet her own deadline. Fran has trouble saying no. You see, Fran is a go-to person, so she likes to play the role of superwoman and she truly wants to help others. But she needs to learn where to set boundaries so she doesn’t become an enabler at times without realizing it. Fran should have listened to that quiet voice which told her to say no, but she just finds that so hard to do. How do you come to the place where you know when to say no, when to go the extra mile, and when to draw the line in the sand and stick to your boundaries? There are no hard and fast rules here, but one thing to consider is whether or not you are becoming an enabler by refusing to say no. Well, boundary-setting is challenging for Fran, but her attempts at being superwoman will not benefit her or her friends. So, she needs to address this issue in her life. Maybe you do as well.