Fran & Jesus on the Job – Boundaries – 5

The Christian Working Woman

We’ve seen examples, in our Fran and Jesus story, of the problems that Fran had with setting reasonable boundaries in her life. And that led to lots of unnecessary stress, some false guilt, and enabling others to avoid doing what they were supposed to do. I have to admit that I have struggled with setting and keeping reasonable boundaries, how about you? The challenge of setting boundaries is almost always a relationship issue. And it frequently comes from our misplaced idea of what it means to be a good friend, or what it means to be a good team player. There’s no doubt that as Christ-followers, our standard given to us by Jesus himself is to go the extra mile, to do more than is required of us. We are called to be servants, as Jesus was, and that should always be our attitude. But when we try to do more than we should do and we think that going the extra mile means we jump through everyone’s hoops and meet everyone’s expectations, we are then in dangerous territory. This is how we become burned out; it’s how we become enablers; it’s how we allow false guilt to drive us into exhaustion and resentment. I would remind you that Jesus knew how to say no. Do you remember when the disciples were looking for Jesus one morning because a crowd of people had gathered to hear Jesus again, and no doubt were eager to take advantage of his gift of healing? They found him alone, praying, and they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.” The disciples tried to tell Jesus that he should come back and preach to the crowd waiting for him, but Jesus knew when to say no. You’ll find that story in Mark 1. Another time a man stopped him and said, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” But Jesus said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” Basically Jesus said, “Sorry, that’s not my job.” He drew a boundary and said no, even though he could have done it but it was not what he was sent to do. You’ll find that story in Luke 12. Jesus knew that he could not please everyone; in his human body while here on earth he had physical limitations, as we do. He became weary, as we do. He needed rest and time alone, as we do. And in order to do what God had sent him to do, he had to refuse to do other things—he had to draw boundaries. I believe his example teaches us that we must also learn to draw reasonable boundaries in order for us to be able to do what God wants us to do.