A Year of Not Try.... To Not Be Loved In Thickness

The Daddy Recovery Sessions

Nerdy, fit, and gorgeous in an Aaron Taylor Johnson kind of way, he was the first hot man that I said, ¨You know what I deserve you!¨ He liked my personality, loved my body (even the flabby parts), and thought, somehow, together they equated beauty. It was terrifying and exhilarating. Finally I was getting what I always wanted, and I felt oddly threatened. It was like I had lived my entire life in a cave, and had decided that every morning I was going to wake up and push myself to see the sunrise. Yet, it was so hard to get up and see that bit of light without my entire body and mind telling me my cave was more comfortable because there was no way the sun would like me. I was stuck in admiring….imagining …. never receiving.

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