071 - Don't Ask, Don't Tell

The Fox and the Phoenix

In this episode, Savannah reads a social media comment from a friend. The message concerns a previous episode and asked if the duo could touch on the relationship dynamic of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell", where the partner of the crossdressing man knows about his femininity, supports him enough to know he needs an outlet for his gender diversity, but really wants to know nothing about the details of when, where, and how (and what and why). How do couples make the new dynamic work without resentment setting in? How can couples create a contract of compromise where both parties feel like they have gained something--not lost something? Every situation is unique and nuanced, but not a lost cause if all parties come to the table with open minds and hearts.

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SAVANNAH HAUK is the author of “Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal” and “Living with Crossdressing: Discovering your True Identity“. While both focus on the male-to-female (mtf) crossdresser, “Defining a New Normal” delves into crossdressing and relationships and “Discovering Your True Identity” looks at the individual crossdressing journey. Her latest achievement is a TEDx Talk entitled "Demystifying the Crossdressing Experience".

Savannah is a male-to-female dual-gender crossdresser who is visible in the Upstate of South Carolina, active in local groups and advocating as a public speaker at LGBTQ+ conferences and workshops across the United States. At the moment, Savannah is working on more books, blogs, and projects focused on letting every crossdresser–young and mature–find their own confidence, expression, identity and voice.

IG @savannahhauk | FB @savannahhauk | FB @livingwithcrossdressing | web @livingwithcrossdressing.com

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JULIE RUBENSTEIN is a dedicated ally to transgender community and the certified image consultant and co-owner of Fox and Hanger. F&H is a unique service for transgender women and male-to-female crossdressers that creates customized virtual fashion and style “lookbooks”. Julie intuitively connects with each client to find them appropriate clothes, makeup, hair, and shape wear all in alignment with their budget, body type, authentic style and unique personality. Julie also provides enfemme coaching and wardrobe support. Julie has made it her life’s work to help MTF individuals feel safe and confident when it comes to their female persona, expression and identity.

IG @Juliemtfstyle | FB @foxandhanger | web @FoxandHanger.com