07/20/22 Show 122 : Snap Me (Im)perfect

The Gerard Cosloy Radio Hour (That Feels Like Two Hours)

the cover of the new issue of Time Magazine declares “INTO THE METAVERSE : The Next Digital Era Will Change Everything”, to which I can only say I sure as fuck hope so because the current digital era BLOWS. I had a series of meetings with a gang of Austin tech pencil necks who devised a scheme in which this show would jettison the tired, played-out podcast/mixcloud format and it’s triple digit (at best) listenership in favor of making me the resident DJ on Roblox. I was totally prepped for this paradigm shift (sorry Mox) but when they showed me the prototype of my avatar, it was a dead fucking ringer for Chuck Colson. I gave them specific, detailed instructions that I was supposed to look like a more bad ass version of Darryl Porter (you know, like in real life) and they thoroughly botched the job.
To make matters worse, I’m in no position to take legal action before this bogus, virtual-me starts spinning at Roblox. My entire portfolio went down faster than Tim Weatherspoon thanks to some ill-advised Web 3.0 investments, but I have a pretty good explanation. As anyone who really knows me will attest, I frequently fall asleep when anyone other than me is talking, and the entire time I was being pitched on Web 3.0, I groggily thought they were talking about WEBB 3.0 (ie. cloning Spud Webb, which still seems like a terrific idea that any intelligent person would invest in). Maybe I should’ve realized something was off as they weren’t calling it SPUD 3.0 (again, this sounds more appealing) but I don’t know how much listening to other people you reasonably expect me to do before I pass out.
Anyway, please try to enjoy this week’s show despite everything I’ve been through. Thank you.