TLP282: Can We Talk?

The Leadership Podcast

Roberta Matuson has been helping organizations find, hire, grow, and keep top talent for the last 25 years. She understands the frustrations of employee turnover that many employees and leaders experience and has coached her clients to help them become a place where employees love to work. Roberta is the author of six books including her latest book, “Can We Talk? Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work.” Roberta shares the foundational principles to have tough conversations, how to be respected (vs. liked), and how to keep your power even with bad bosses.

Key Takeaways

[3:05] In leadership, it’s our behaviors that matter, not our intentions.

[4;30] Difficult conversations are hard to do because no one truly likes confrontation.

[5:35] Despite weekly standup meetings, managers still avoid the tough conversations because they don’t want to hurt the other person.

[6:35] Roberta noticed a lack in the market on how to have difficult conversations with your co-worker and your boss. This is why she decided to write a book.

[8:40] The first time a boss tried to give Roberta feedback/set expectations, instead of standing up for herself, she gave away her power. She doesn’t want to have that happen to you.

[10:40] If you are unsure why your boss is giving you this kind of negative feedback, you can ask for a pause so you can think deeper on the subject and talk about it another time or you can get curious and ask them questions.

[12:05] Roberta wrote her first book based on a bad manager she had. That boss did everything wrong in the books.

[16:10] The goal really is to be well-respected among your team and to build strong relationships with your people. So that even if you leave an organization, your people will follow.

[17:10] Roberta shares an example of what a “good relationship” looks like with a subordinate.

[18:30] Don’t wait to have tough conversations in person! You can do it over Zoom.

[23:30] Leaders who check in, like really check in, with their team end up having to “save” fewer employees from quitting. People want to feel supported.

[25:45] Roberta explains the fine art of when to stop talking.

[28:45] No one knows how to manage communication, curiosity, integrity, and honesty.

[31:45] Roberta works with her clients to change the perception that they aren’t good leaders. Prescription is everything in leadership.

[32:25] Listener challenge: Make a list of those difficult conversations that you have been avoiding.

Quotable Quotes

• “Management is nothing more than perception.”
• “Very few organizations can specify the behaviors that match what they value.”

Resources Mentioned

• Sponsored by: Darley.com
• Matusonconsulting.com
• Roberta on LinkedIn & Roberta on Twitter
• Grab Roberta’s book here: Can We Talk? Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work