Being a people pleaser: why we do it and how to change it

The Relationship Maze

Are you always concerned about getting it right for other people, frequently to the detriment of yourself? In today's episode we look at the signs that show you that your driver in life and in relationships might be to please others.We discuss the underlying thinking of a people-pleaser and the root causes that get people into the idea that they need to please all the time. People-pleasers are usually parent-pleasers; we learn how to interact with others initially when growing up in our family of origin. In this episode we briefly talk about the the link between an anxious attachment style and the need to be 'good' with others at all times. While it may be pleasant for people around you that you always try to please them, there are also some draw backs that are experienced by the people at the receiving end of being pleased and appeased. Your people pleasing may affect your friends and partners in ways that were unintentional.How can you change your behaviour? How can you move from the idea of 'having to' please others to 'wanting to' please? We discuss how you can move in the direction of building more authentic and balanced relationships with others.