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Frame 147 - Maximum Break. An incredible landmark as the podcast hits its 147th frame. Sadly everyone involved is so knackered that this is going to be a total waste of 20 minutes of your life. Richard seems annoyed to be there, the players can't play, the referee can't remember whose go it is. Absolute fucking shambles.…
 
Frame 146 - No, I'm Czechoslovakia. In a crucial frame in the contest, Me1 takes on Me2 at snooker to see who is the best at snooker. They are both tired and dizzy and there are a few fouls in this one and practically no decent play, But you have to take the rough with the smooth and snooker is a game of two halves, so shut up with your complaining…
 
Frame 145 - Württemberg. In a crucial frame in the contest, Me1 and Me2 face off on the old green board to try to determine which of them is best at snooker, whilst Richard propositions an 82 year-old woman who was widowed today and everyone gets a bit too excited about Referee 3 (can you spot the mistake she made in setting up the board?). Hang ar…
 
Frame 144 - Referee Three. In this crucial frame Me 1 takes on Me 2 at snooker to determine who is the best at snooker. And recent refereeing errors mean the frame begins with a bang, with no expense spared for the special effects. Will a new broom sweep the sport clean of claims of corruption. It's an incredibly spooky frame with thrills and spill…
 
Frame 143 - Fire Referee 1 (Into the Heart of the Sun). An exhausted Me1 and Me2 take to the old green board to see who will win this crucial frame. They are keen to get it over with as soon as possible, but another monumental refereeing error extends play time. Bad for them, but loads more snooker for you.…
 
Frame 142 - Frog. A very tired Richard Herring presents this crucial frame in the contest. Can Sybil repeat her amazingly accurate prediction from last week? What were the football scores at 8.03pm? Who raids a snooker match after it is over? Why is an old bamboozled man hosting a Twitch channel? Who will win this crucial frame? Find out by watchin…
 
Frame 141 - Curse? It's a crucial frame in the contest that might well determine the eventual winner, but will the incredible shift in form continue? There's a big match of football too, but the two early goals arrive too late to get a mention on the soccer round up. Sybil's powers are getting spooky and Me2 is playing for a very special fan. And t…
 
Frame 140 - Porn. It's a crucial frame in the contest, after last week's controversy. Referee one's life is hanging by a thread, but allegations have been made against both players. But at times like these we can only let the snooker do the talking and boy does it talk tonight? No, it doesn't. It's a game.…
 
Frame 139 Yellow. The contest couldn't be at a more exciting point and this frame is absolutely crucial. Should the arena be named after the wife of a Neofascist? How are Gala Fairydean getting on in the football? Why are people still watching this when they're allowed to go out now? And will Sybil's Paddy McGuinness prediction come true? Oh and th…
 
Frame 138 - Bad News For Paddy - Let the contest continue. More superb snooker action as well as expert football analysis and terrifying visions of the future from a scary doll. Can the Me who has been doing badly hit form at last? Or will the Me who is doing well continue to deliver the goods? And when is Twitch of Fun back? All questions will be …
 
Frame 137 - Sixty-Nine. It's a crucial frame in this ongoing contest that could well decide the final result. Can the out-of-form player turn things around or will the in-form player stay in form and win? And more importantly, what are the football scores at 8.03pm and what does the Scrappy Doo of Self-Playing Snooker think is going to happen?…
 
Frame 136 - These Are The Days of Miracle and Wonder - We're mourning the death of a cinematic great, but we still need to know the 8.03 football scores, however painful they may be for York City and can Sibyl keep up her amazing 1 week run of getting the result partially correct? It's an incredible frame of snooker from start to finish. You are go…
 
Frame 135 - Post-Watershed. The snooker is recorded at 9pm this week, meaning a certain number of swear words are allowed, but will the Mes use them all? And can they top (or just copy) the Oscars? And how will having football scores from later in the game affect things? What the Hell is this thing? How is it still going on? Why are you enabling it…
 
Frame 134 - Ajax. The snooker is in danger of being replaced by a football update service. Which I think might be more popular. But Sibyl would surely warn us if that was going to happen, so accurate are her predictions. Anyway, more snooker playing in what is a crucial frame in the competition.על ידי British Comedy Guide
 
Frame 133 - Young Boys. Richard is going great guns with his 8.02pm football score catch up. He might even stop doing the snooker and concentrate on that. But for now the snooker continues and it's a stone cold classic frame and it's a crucial one for the competition. Maybe as few as 1000 frames to go, so don't miss it.…
 
Frame 132 22/2/22. It's a day of massive numerical significance, but will that be reflected in the final score. Sibyl certainly thinks so. And will Rich finish the show in time to get some time to himself before his wife gets home? So much jeopardy, so many twos. This is a crucial frame in the contest that is bound to have an effect on the final re…
 
Frame 131 - For Whom the Bell Dongs. After a fortnight hiatus the Mes are back, in a crucial frame that could make all the difference in the contest. With a visit from the completely innocent Duke of York and another prediction from Sybil, the players get down to some very exciting snooker action. Who will win? I am not telling you in this blurb as…
 
Northampton 0 Barrow 0 - Richard tries to boost his viewership by offering an unparalleled sports service. Referee 1's life is hanging in the balance and the players are giving Vladimir Putin something to think about. Sybil brings her magic power of prediction to the festivities again and it's a record breaking frame which could have a real impact …
 
Frames 128 and 129 - Sybil. Me1's wife is out so the players get to do two frames tonight. There's potting, controversy and a good joke about balls going in the bin. And there's a new character with amazing powers that will blow your mind. Will Referee 1 still have his job next week? And when will VAR bring some consistency to the sport?…
 
Frame 127 - Fifty Seven Years To Go - All the Mes have been declared Covid free and allowed into the country and so Self-Playing snooker can continue. But the curse of the world's oldest man has struck again and Richard is keen to get downstairs to see his wife after being denied his conjugal rights for 10 long days and nights. So the players play …
 
Frame 126 - Seventeen Years To Go. The contest is reaching a crucial stage where every frame played counts as one frame to whoever wins it and the trophy can be won or lost right now, though we won't be able to be sure about that until one or all of the players are dead. It's a cracking frame of snooker though and all good fun, until everyone gets …
 
Frame 125 - The Not Christmas Frame Richard is back playing with himself, live on Twitch and he's determined that this fine sport should not be tainted by Yuletide chuff. It's a thrilling frame which could go either way, with some amazing talking points. Perfect to watch on Christmas morning (as long as you are not celebrating Christmas). Back the …
 
Frame 124 - All The Angles. It's all change at Me1 vs Me2 Snooker today, with an unnecessary degree of professionalism introduced (to the presentation at least). It won't really make much difference to the audiophiles though. There's high breaks, controversy and one of the Mes wins a frame of snooker. But which one? I can't say here as finding out …
 
Frame 123 - BJ Fan? - Things get a little political ahead of this crucial frame in the contest, with so much resting on the result, but there comes a time to let the snooker do the talking and there's a chance of a maximum break for one player, but will he take it? Or will he blow it? There's only one way to get the answer. Tune in to the world's p…
 
Frame 122 - Earthquake - As predicted in the Book of Revelations, on the 10th anniversary of the first self-playing snooker podcast the ground fhall fhake and the frame fhall freeze and no one will be fure which Me hath won the frame. It's 10 years since we started and we're still going strong. Expect some guest appearances from your least favourit…
 
Frame 121 - To Vax or Not To Vax, That is the Question One week from the tenth anniversary of the beginning of this never ending tournament and there have been some booster jabs in the mix. Will they affect snooker arms? And are you better off unvaccinated? Some incredible break building in this episode and some tromboning too. But who is trombonin…
 
Poor Ziggy - it's back and it's nearly been going for ten years at a heady pace of almost a frame a month. But someone connected with the wider Self-Playing Snooker universe has passed on and there has to be a moment of reflection. Before the greatest sporting event of the millennium. It will keep you guessing right up to the last minute and wishin…
 
Frame 118 - 118 118 - It's back. After almost 11 months, the classic self-playing snooker contest picks up again - no stupid accents, no knock outs, no bullspit. But who will prove superior tonight Me 1 or Me 2. There's controversy from the off, but from then on just pure excitement and amazing break after amazing break. Sometimes there are snooker…
 
Shoot up the Table - It's finally here, the final day of frames and the two one million pound winners (or one two million pound winner). Some people thought it was all over before these last two frames, but those people might be in for a shock. I promise you that this tournament will keep you on the edge of your seat right down to the very last sho…
 
Things Get Serious - In the penultimate week of frames there are some huge matches that could change the top, middle and bottom of the table. Will Durex cough up their Johnny money? Will the highest break be beaten? Will we find out what Sam Beckett's mission was? Isn't this just the same bloke playing himself at snooker quite badly? Will Referee 1…
 
Mates - Some people think it's all over, but there are still a few of the Mes in a position to win the whole shebang and three of them are playing tonight. At least one of them won't be in a position to win by the end of it. But there's some amazing action and some tough choices to be made by the professionals and still no word from our sponsors Du…
 
Eraser - It's all hotting up now isn't it and tonight's frames could put the pretty kitty amongst the pigeons or basically crown the champion with 6 frames to play. Me1, Me2, Me 11 and Me 31 are the players in action and any of them could be walking home with at least one million pounds in a month's time, courtesy of Ian Durex. But what will the re…
 
Highest Break It's the final matches of the fifth round and the tension if pretty much unbearable. But still just about bearable. There's discussion of the highest break so far in the tournament and then one of the players challenges for the highest break. But which one? And can she make it? There's a million pounds from our sponsor, Durex if whoev…
 
Xenophobia - The contest is really hotting up as we try to determine who will be the champion of the European Super League of Self-Playing Snooker and all the players in today's frames are in contention for the win. The ESLOSPS would like to apologise for some of the views expressed in this episode, but sadly they have no recourse to ban players fo…
 
Johnny Be Good - The ESLOSPS is heating up. Can Me 3 go top tonight? Which Me will have lost all four of their first four frames? Is Me11's luck about to turn. Will the old-fashioned attitudes of some of the people involved in this enterprise ever change? And where exactly is Me31 even from? There's a week off as the Mes go on holiday together, but…
 
Captain Green: We approach the halfway point of the European Super League of Self-Playing Snooker and with four of the top five in action tonight, we should really see things start to take shape. It's unbearably hot, but it's not just the snooker players who have breaks, because the weather breaks halfway through and there's thunderbolts and lightn…
 
ESLOSPS #6 - 54 Years Old. Things are hotting up so much that one way or the other you will probably require a Durex. It's the remaining matches for the third round. Will there be a runaway league leader after this or can the pack at the back make a difference? Me 7 is taking on Me31 and more excitingly Me10 is up against Me11. But who will win? On…
 
ESLOSPS #5: Don't Be A Dondom. Rich is singing obscure Barron Knights songs like some kind of unsuccessful Peter Kay who tries to remind people of things that they don't remember. But there's only one sport to worry about tonight as four of the players play their third match in the European Super League. It doesn't get more crucial than this. And t…
 
Sex Dew. Richard has had his arse handed to him by a professional 2-player-snooker snooker player, but he returns, sharply dressed to prove that he is the king of the 1-player version of the game which at least doesn't have a sarcastically big board. Me 1 takes on Me3 and Me 2 plays Me4 in their second matches in this super league. Sponsored by Dur…
 
It's a hot day and everyone in the arena has forgotten to bring any fluids so there's a real chance of collapse in this week's frames, but the ESLOSPS must go on. Me 7 takes on Me10 in a battle of the accents and Me 11 plays against notorious cheat Me31. Plus everyone is wearing a Durex condom thanks to our sponsor Durex - because the end of you cu…
 
ESLOSPS #1 - Money is More Important Than Fans. It's a new direction for self-playing snooker as the 8 most successful/richest players break off to form their own European Super League of Self Playing Snooker. The fans are up in arms, but unlike the weak fools in football, we're carrying on regardless. F the Fans. But which 8 players will make the …
 
Pointless. It's been a long journey and some balls have popped out of the pocket along the way, but we're pulled out all the stops (ie changed the colour of the scoreboard) for the Grand Final. Which of the quite dull characters will win? Is anyone really behind either of them? And what next for self-playing snooker? Find out by ingesting this.…
 
Winter Tourney - Semi-Finals - My Dog Has No Nose. Richard is very moved by the being that this week's arena is named after, but we're here for snooker, not tears. But will the snooker leave us in tears too? It's Viking Me versus Meninist Me and Serious Me versus Female Me. Richard is extremely partisan but can he somehow manipulate it for the big …
 
Winter Tourney QFs 3 and 4 - They Think It's All Over. Back on the old green board and we're so close to the final now that you can literally taste it. Serious Me is taking on Total Recall Me and Motorcycling Me is facing off to Female Me. There's still a chance that the final could be between two qualifiers. Or between a sexist and a woman. Or a V…
 
Self-Playing Snooker Winter Tourney - QFs 1 and 2 - Marmite Face. Richard has had to make a difficult choice re making money or maintaining the integrity of the one player sport. I wonder which he has chosen. Tonight Viking Me takes on Oversharing Me (in a terrible, but thrilling frame) and then Successful Me attempts to overcome Meninist Me. It's …
 
From Me and All the Mes - It's been a tricky few weeks for all sorts of reasons but the second round matches end with a huge bang as Samuel Beckett Me takes on the never defeated Motorcycling Me and 'Legs' 11 takes on Self-Doubting Me. We've lost some big scalps and some even better accents in this tournament. Will the disappointment continue? You …
 
Which Me Is It? - A weary Richard, full of crisps is finding all the balls flying out of pockets a little bit triggering. In the first frame there's some confusion about whether Me 4 or Me5 is playing Conspiracy Theory Me. It's very offensive when commentators think that all Mes look the same. Then Boring Me 14 takes on Total Recall Me 27. Will any…
 
Half Empty Bawl Bag - After a brief intermission for bollock removal, the Mes are back. King of the World Me, so far unbeaten, takes on Successful Me and Northern Me attempts to defeat horrible Meninist Me. Surely Rich can control the results? He can't. He really can't. If things had turned out differently he might be doing John Oliver's job and Jo…
 
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