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Reconnected Marriage Partners | Communicate Effectively, Sexual Intimacy, Expectations, Quality Time, Resolving Conflicts
Dr. Ebun and David Haastrup | Christian Marriage Coaches & Couple Connection Strategists
Are you feeling distant from your spouse while living under the same roof? Frustrated about the increasing misunderstandings or tension in your marriage? Do you have a longing desire to feel heard & understood but can’t seem to get through to your spouse? Wish you spent more time connecting with your spouse instead of engaging in arguments that drain your energy? If you can relate, you’re not alone. Building a thriving marriage in these modern times takes hard work. When you add the responsi ...
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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and y ...
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93 | Creating Healthy Connections While Healing from Betrayal Trauma and Sex-Addiction
30:38
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30:38Connection... When you think about connecting with others, what comes to mind? What does it truly mean to be connected, and what are healthy connections? And speaking of healthy connections, it makes you wonder—are there unhealthy connections? What do your connections look like in your life? Join us today as we dive into these intriguing questions …
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EP 143 \\ L.O.V.E In Action: Loving Your Spouse Courageously In Marriage
15:10
15:10
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15:10Hi friend! *This is Part 1 of a 2-part episode series.* There are times wherein life just happens...maybe a new job comes into the picture, a new child is added to the family, a move to a new location or relocation occurs and it now begins to feel as though love is starting to dissipate or disappear in marriage and a different kind of feeling emerg…
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92 | Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal
37:33
37:33
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37:33Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you realized that making a significant personal sacrifice was the key to resolving a difficult situation? And that this decision would alter your life as you know it? Often, these moments involve putting the needs of someone else first. It’s those we love most with whom we often decide to "die to se…
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EP 142 \\This Five-Letter Word Can Save Your Marriage!
12:29
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12:29Hi friend! Are you in a tough season in your marriage where it seems like you are struggling to get through to your spouse? Do you desire to reconnect with your spouse? In this episode, you will discover one five-letter word that has benefited our marriage in amazing ways. For example, it has helped prevent conflicts from escalating & unnecessary c…
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91 | Overwhelmed While Recovering From Betrayal Trauma or Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
6:40
6:40
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6:40Okay, picture this scene: you are on vacation at the beach, having a great time soaking in the sun and playing in the ocean. You're making your way further and further out into deeper water. The waves are getting steadily higher but it’s still manageable as your feet are connected to the sandy ocean floor. Suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, a very…
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EP 141 \\ One Thing That Could Be Causing An Increase In Conflict In Your Marriage (& How To Deal With It)
11:30
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11:30Hi friend! Are you feeling frustrated about the increasing misunderstandings & fights in your marriage? Have you ever thought about what could be causing this increase in conflict in your marriage? We get it. Marriage can feel so tough when there is so much conflict and disconnection present. And there are different reasons why this sometimes show …
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90 | Discovering the Man Within: Sathiya Sam on Overcoming Porn Addiction
48:45
48:45
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48:45Today we’ll be sharing a fantastic interview with Sathiya Sam, host of the Man Within podcast and the founder of Deep Clean. Sathiya opens up about his personal journey, including how he overcame a 15-year struggle with porn addiction, and the faith and guidance that played a key role in his recovery. He dives into some eye-opening differences betw…
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EP 140 \\ Feel Like Giving Up On Your Marriage? Here Are 5 Tips To Try
11:58
11:58
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11:58Hi friend! Are you on the verge of giving up on your marriage? Have you been facing difficult challenges that are weighing you down? Does it seem like you are growing farther apart from each other with every passing day? If this is where you are right now, you are not alone. In this episode, I will be sharing 5 tips to try so you can start working …
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89 | Considering Divorce After Sexual Betrayal? 3 Good Reasons to Stay Married
28:34
28:34
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28:34After infidelity in marriage is discovered, many questions arise and decisions need to be made. Questions like: Is this real? How could this happen to me? And one of the more frequently asked questions, What do I do now? Last week, in episode #88, we told the story of our journey toward "making a decision and burning the ships". Today, we follow up…
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EP 139 \\ 5 Pieces of Marriage Advice That You Should Do Away With This Year (And What To Do Instead!)
12:47
12:47
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12:47Hi friend! When we get married, we may come across marriage advice from well-meaning individuals. This can either benefit your marriage or bring about issues in your relationship. Even though not all marriage advice is harmful, however, there are some you should ignore to avoid disconnection in your relationship. This is why in this episode, you wi…
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88 | Burn the Ships: Decisions on Marriage & Sex
32:54
32:54
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32:54Often in life, we come to a point where we need to make an important decision. A decision that could alter the trajectory of the rest of our lives. Yes, that kind of decision. Have you had to make such decisions?? When it comes to recovering from sexual betrayal in marriage, these kinds of decisions can come up very soon after the discovery of adul…
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EP 138 \\ Frustrated About The Frequent Misunderstandings In Your Marriage? Here Are Some Hacks To Try
11:11
11:11
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11:11Hi friend! Are you feeling frustrated about the frequent misunderstandings in your marriage? Do you wish you could understand each other better so you can feel more connected as an intimate couple? If any of these sounds familiar, you're not alone. In this episode, you will discover 3 possible reasons for the increased misunderstandings in your mar…
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87 | Can’t We Just Get Back to Normal? Shortest Path to True Intimacy After Sexual Betrayal
38:19
38:19
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38:19Have you gotten to the point in your recovery journey from marital infidelity where you may be feeling the fatigue of endless questions, lack of trust, and having to talk about the pain every day and you’re asking yourself, "Can't we just get back to normal"? What is normal? What if "normal" got you to where you are today? Would you really want to …
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EP 137 \\ 5 Simple Ways To Invest In Your Marriage in 2025
14:50
14:50
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14:50Hi friend! Happy New Year!!! A new year has begun...this presents us with an opportunity to reflect, think about what we really want our marriages to look like, and set some goals in the new year (if we haven't done so already). If your desire is to enjoy a stronger and more connected marriage in the new year, this is an episode you don't want to m…
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86 | Recovering From Porn-Fueled Infidelity: Obstacles We Encountered This Year
36:05
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36:05As we approach the end of 2024, we find ourselves reflecting on the past year of recovery. Was this last year anything that we hoped or imagined it would be? What went well? What missed the mark of our expectations? What could we have done differently? These are all good questions to ask ourselves in light of the upcoming New Year. Our recovery jou…
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EP 136 \\ A Message of Hope, Joy, Peace & Love For Your Marriage
14:52
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14:52Hi friend! Here is a message of hope, joy, peace and love for your marriage. We pray this episode blesses you:) ............................................................................................................. 📩 Become an Insider: Receive weekly podcast updates, marital tips, early access to special offers & giveaways right in your inbo…
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85 | A Christmas Message of Hope for Couples After Infidelity
4:00
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4:00Are you looking for hope in what may seem to be a hopeless situation right now? Merriam-Webster defines hope as "to expect with confidence". During this Christmas season many of us are looking for hope. Hope that things will change for the better or maybe just hope that the pain of betrayal and the confusion of addiction will simply “go away”. Frie…
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EP 135 \\ Strengthen Your Marriage By Adding THIS KEY INGREDIENT...Even If You're Raising A Family With Limited Time!
12:18
12:18
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12:18Hi friend! In this episode, you will discover ONE key ingredient you can add to your marriage for a stronger marriage this year and beyond…even if you are raising a family and don’t have a lot of time. This ingredient is ONE thing that has contributed to helping us achieve this level of growth in our marriage…even as parents of three living in Nort…
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84 | Bah Humbug No More: Christmas (Then and Now)
27:50
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27:50Are you looking forward to celebrating Christmas this year? Or maybe for you, Christmastime has a dark shadow over it because of the discovery of sexual betrayal in your marriage and you’re wondering if it is ever going to get better. We know how that feels! Several years ago, we faced the shocking reality of infidelity in our marriage, and it turn…
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EP 134 \\ 3 Essential Areas of Growth For A Stronger And Happier Marriage
19:15
19:15
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19:15Hi friend! Want a stronger and happier marriage? Embrace growth. In this episode, you will discover 3 essential key growth areas for a stronger and happier marriage. These key areas of growth have influenced our marital goals and contributed to the level of success we have experienced in marriage. Want to find out more? Ready…Set…Tune in to find ou…
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83 | Is Your Soul at Risk From Porn-Addiction? Answering Tough Questions with Heather O'Brien
31:01
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31:01On today's show, we share our transformative journey from the deep struggles of pornography addiction and infidelity to healing and restoration. If you remember back on episode #75, we had a guest on our show who gave us some incredible insights on how to Heal with God, from heavy things like sexual betrayal, shame and unforgiveness. Heather O’Brie…
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EP 133 \\ Frustrated about the conflicts in your marriage? Here are 3 virtues you need
13:02
13:02
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13:02Hi friend! In today’s episode, we delve into 3 virtues that you need in your marriage to keep the peace. Many of us do well with the first two, but the last one is where we fall short. What are these virtues and how do you go about attaining them? Curious to find out? Alright, tune in to listen to find out more. ....................................…
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82 | Broken Trust After Infidelity? 3 Ways to Reach Her Heart
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35:21Ladies, do you and your husband seem to be in a never-ending cycle of communication misfires? You ask him hard questions, he gives you answers, but you still aren’t connecting and moving forward. Are you frustrated and confused by his responses, or lack thereof, leaving you with no confidence that he is telling the truth or that he sees your pain? …
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EP 132 \\ Here's ONE Habit That Can Transform Your Life And Marriage!
8:07
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8:07Hi friend! As we get closer to the end of the year, you may have spent some time reflecting on how the year has been so far. Maybe, you’ve had some wonderful experiences over the past months and maybe you’ve had challenging or even painful experiences. No matter what you discover, there is one thing I find that could help while facing challenging t…
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81 | Giving Thanks In The Aftermath of Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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26:13Ah, the holiday season! A time filled with twinkling lights, joyful gatherings, and, let's face it, a few emotional landmines for those who have been through the wringer with sexual betrayal. If the holiday cheer takes a nosedive because you discovered your partner’s unfaithfulness—whether it was last month, a year ago, or even two decades back—we …
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EP 131 \\ 5 Marriage Myths To Stop Believing To Avoid Frustration In Your Relationship
16:39
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16:39Hi friend! Some persons get into marriage with certain expectations and because these expectations do not hold true, they bring about frustrations. This can impact a marriage negatively if not addressed. In this episode, you will discover 5 marriage myths that could hurt the relationship between spouses if these beliefs continue to be embraced. Wan…
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80 | 7 Caveats for an Effective Healing Apology
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33:10Making and apology to our betrayed spouse is one of the more important facets of our recovery process. However, have you had the experience when making an apology to your spouse, it seemed to cause more damage than give relief? So, what is the secret to a good apology and how can it be done with respect and honesty that can lead to true intimacy. S…
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EP 130 \\ Want to Resolve Conflicts Faster? Be a H.O.T Spouse!
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14:11
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14:11Hi friend! Have you ever wondered if there was a way to resolve conflicts or disagreements faster when they show up in marriage? If so, this is an episode you do not want to miss. In this episode, you will discover what it means to be a H.O.T Spouse and how this approach can help you as you navigate those tough conversations in marriage during conf…
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79 | Redeeming What Was Lost, Stolen, or Given Away Through Adultery
38:56
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38:56Have you ever lost something or had something taken away from you and you deeply felt the loss? Or perhaps you gave something precious away that you now regret or grieve and want to get it back. Would you be willing to travel a potentially painful path to have your loss restored? The path of redemption can be challenging at best and painful at its …
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EP 129 \\ 3 Possible Reasons Why Misunderstandings Have Increased In Your Marriage (And How To Change That!)
13:23
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13:23Hi friend! Are you feeling frustrated about the increasing misunderstandings in your marriage pulling you apart from each other? If so, you're not alone. In this episode, I will be sharing 3 possible reasons that could be at play here and what to do to change the narrative in your relationship. Alright, let's dig in! Interested in coaching? 2 FREE …
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78 | Forgiving the “Other Woman” - A Path to Peace After Sexual Betrayal Trauma
28:40
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28:40On this show, we have often talked about forgiveness - the need for extending forgiveness and how to walk out forgiveness. It has been in the context of forgiving your spouse for sexual betrayal, but what about the other woman? Or women? There are many different scenarios and every marriage has a unique story of brokenness. But there is a common th…
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EP 128 \\ Are you struggling in your marriage? Here is some encouragement for you
12:49
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12:49Hi friend! Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you feeling frustrated about the increasing tension in your relationship? Do you desire to grow closer as an intimate couple while experiencing more peace, harmony, and unity in your home? If this describes your current experience, you're not alone. This episode was created just for you...to encou…
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77 | 4 Practical Steps for Vigilance in Recovery from Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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37:07Have you ever found yourself in a situation that totally surprised you, leaving you unsure of how to react? It happens to all of us! When we’re on the journey to recovering from sex addiction, those unexpected moments can be particularly challenging. It’s important to be aware and not let our guard down, as staying vigilant plays a crucial role in …
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EP 127 \\ Changing Your Perspective: A Powerful Hack That Can Positively Impact Your Spouse And Marriage
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8:05Hi friend, We all know too well that when we have done something for so long we can become bored with it and begin to take it for granted. Interestingly, we treat our marriages and relationships this way. But what happens if your spouse refuses to upgrade? Or when you feel they are not meeting your expectations? Is there another approach you could …
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76 | What Do You Mean You Don't Regret Your Sexual Betrayal??
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35:09When you hear the statement, "I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". What thoughts and/or emotions surface immediately? Our experience has shown us that the initial reaction from a betrayed spouse will likely differ from that of the one who has broken faith. The former will react in a posture of, "You better regret your past!". …
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EP 126 \\ One Question That Could Bring You Closer And Improve Your Emotional Connection & Intimacy In Marriage
9:18
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9:18Hi friend! One way to connect with your spouse is by being honest with them about how you’re feeling and how you’re really doing. This could begin with answering one question. This involves vulnerability and here is the honest truth: You can't have a great emotional connection without vulnerability. So, as you tune in to listen to this episode, I w…
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75 | Heal With God From Sexual Betrayal, Shame, and Unforgiveness: feat. Heather O'Brien
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35:30Have you ever wondered how to hear God speaking to you? When we have deep wounds such as betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues, we can feel desperate to hear the voice of God. We want him to tell us what to do to get relief from the ever-present pain and anxiety we are experiencing to find freedom and healing. Today we are so excited to share…
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EP 125 \\ Finances in Marriage: Do We Need a Joint Bank Account For a Strong and Successful Marriage?
10:59
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10:59Hi friend! Wondering if a married couple needs a joint bank account for a strong and successful marriage? Then, get ready to tune in to listen to this episode as I address one of the questions that come up in marriage and money conversations. We pray this episode blesses you:) Any information, commentary, recommendations or statements of opinion pr…
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74 | Guilt and Shame in the Aftermath of Sexual Betrayal
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38:47If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity. One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a dif…
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EP 124 \\ 3 Tried And Tested Ways To Have More Energy (And Time) To Reconnect With Your Spouse
9:53
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9:53Hi friend! Have you ever wondered, “How can I have more energy (and time) to spend with my spouse?” In other words, “What are some things I can do to achieve this?" If so, then, this episode for you. In this episode, we are going to reveal 3 tried & tested ways to have more energy (and time) to build connection in your marriage. So, if you desire t…
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73 | Unashamed Unafraid of My Sexual Betrayal & Recovery Story, ft. Steve Shields
51:10
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51:10We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, a…
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EP 123 \\ Wish To Increase Intimacy In Your Marriage? Try These 3 Actionable Hacks To Build Connection With Your Spouse
14:29
14:29
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14:29Hi friend! Intimacy in marriage is important because the more intimate we are, the closer and more connected we feel as a couple. When we feel connected as a couple, it benefits us not only as a couple but as individuals too. For example, we work better together as members of the same team rather than engage in conflicts that sap the little time an…
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72 | Praising God While in the Storm of Sexual Betrayal and Porn-Fueled Infidelity
35:09
35:09
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35:09We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you. We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken mar…
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EP 122 \\ 5 Essential Things To Know For Effective Conflict Management in Marriage
13:33
13:33
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13:33Hi friend! We cannot tell you that you will never experience conflict in marriage but what we can tell you is that if you know how to manage conflict or disagreements better, it will benefit your marriage. This will save you more time and energy not just in the present moment but also in the long run. This is why in this episode, I will be sharing …
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71 | From Shame to Freedom: Revisiting "His Story"
45:54
45:54
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45:54It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then! We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support commu…
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EP 121 \\ HELP! I Want To Have Sex, My Spouse Wants To Have Deep Conversations. Different needs, Same Goal in Marriage?
11:53
11:53
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11:53Hi friend! What do you do when you have different needs in marriage simultaneously? For example, when your spouse wants to engage in a deep conversation with you and you want to have sex...both happening around the same time. How can we navigate this scenario especially when the end goal is to build connection and improve intimacy in marriage? If t…
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70 | Straight Talk: A Candid Revisit of a Betrayed Wife's Journey
33:45
33:45
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33:45September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes. Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornograp…
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EP 120 \\ Want To Prevent Conflicts From Escalating? Here are 3 Communication Mistakes to Avoid In Your Marriage
12:51
12:51
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12:51Hi friend, Have you ever wondered or been curious about how to improve communication in your marriage? If so, you're not alone. One of the ways we have strengthened our marriage and grown together as a team has involved communicating better with each other. The way we communicate or the manner in which we communicate with our spouses can either str…
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69 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #5 Spiritual Leadership
34:43
34:43
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34:43Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course! Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably. Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual h…
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EP 119 \\ This ONE Thing Could Be Hindering You From Building A Stronger Connection In Your Marriage
15:47
15:47
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15:47Hi friend! It is no longer news that building a thriving marriage takes hard work. When we think about investing in our marriages, what often comes to mind are actionable tips to deepen connection, grow stronger in marriage and stay connected as a couple. But over the years, we’ve realized that sometimes, in order to achieve the deeper connection a…
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