Story Must Be Told ציבורי
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Surreal fiction anthology, framed as a church service. Every other Tuesday, join Brother Reid, Pastor Andrew, and Sister Callista to worship the Story! Hear our greasy prayers! Delight in our healthy psalms, uh huh. Then bask in the Story—handsomely produced tales of dark humor, freakish sci-fi, and oddly touching literary horror. Start with any episode—the Story is waiting for you! TSMBT is a podcast by Post Everything Productions. All stories written by Pastor Andrew and Brother Reid. Prod ...
 
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Egon wins the lottery. But this isn’t a fun lotto like Shirley Jackson’s—it gets serious! Slurp slurp, if you can. InvocationPsalm: “The Most Comfortable Sectional”Liturgical Reading: “Egon Wins The Lottery”Concluding PrayerTwo weeks from now you’ll receive a Story so true you’ll be MAD at us. Our first book of PSALMS:www.thestorymustbetold.comMERC…
 
Grandmas are tricky! You gotta love em, but also: fear em a bit. Learn from a grandma! Learn of devotion. Learn of guilt. Learn of the Story. Guest preacher: Henry Zebrowski (Last Podcast on the Left, tickets for Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again Tour on sale next week)Also featuring the voice talents of: Jackie ZebrowskiJohn MorenoSeenna GhaznaviHolden …
 
Birdies go tweet tweet tweet, crows go caw caw caw, and ducks go, “I will destroy you.” Never trust a bird! FEAR a bird.Guest Preacher: Chris Fairbanks (Do You Need a Ride podcast with Karen Kilgariff, “Rescue Cactus” album on 800 Pound Gorilla Records)InvocationLiturgical Reading: Bad Bad Big WillyThe New Bird Sounds of 2021 In two weeks the healt…
 
Who loves a HOT Cro-Croa??? Uhhhhh how about every-dang-body? Plump on it! What is Cro-Croa’s secret ingredient??? Uhhhhh who cares? Just chug it chug it CHUGIT. Can a living corporation be sated with just one human life??? Uhhhh wuddaya think, PAL? Feed yourself into the gears!InvocationPetitions for Generous, Kind, Honest CongregantsLiturgical Re…
 
Spooky monsters keep me running—running SCARED. But Pastor Andrew, heck, he CRAVES the stuff. To keep his greasy candle a-flickerin, Sis Callis and Big BR share some SPOOKY monster Stories. Chunk down!Story: The Curse of the Frase’s ReturnStory: The GravefingerCome back in two weeks and we’ll still be here, eager for your embrace, holding a cup ful…
 
Today is the Feast Day of Spaghett’, slurp slurp. Don’t let the marinara of prudence stain your white linen of virtue, gabbagool. Swirl this Story upon your fork and reflect: what has God ever given you that Story could not take away? InvocationA psalm judged by a jury of peersStory: The Soft Opening of Maison de DieuA simple plea for Spaghett’ Pro…
 
Every whale sings a song, and it goes like this:“OhhhOh nooooDon’t take my oiiiil”But who pays attention to lyrics? If a whale sang me anything, I wouldn’t hear a word over the crackle of WHALE OIL. This week’s service is sponsored by Mark O. O! might grease be spread upon thee.Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm)Inv…
 
Pleasure is hiding! PEEKABOO. Ohhh you have to SEEK pleasure. Search, and be warned: you will not find IT. IT will find YOU. When the Stranger appears from the alley and removes their glove, what will be waiting to tick-tick-tickle ya? A hand can be many things, even: fear itself.InvocationPsalm: More We TolerateStory: “You’re Gonna Touch My Hand”C…
 
Remember: Purkley Katzman was ground up by a bunch of gears. It was his own dang fault for not being gear-proof. Today, we share some of Purkley’s stupid, STUPID Stories, so we might remember: he got ground up by a bunch of gears.InvocationPsalm: Fuck You, PurkleyStory: “More More More More MORE Stories”Concluding PrayerCome back in two weeks and w…
 
Everybody’s working for the Story. Everybody’s working despite the Story. Everybody’s working because of the Story. The Story will strip you of meaning like a business sheds insurance coverage. InvocationPsalm: Pigs Aren’t RealStory: “Goodbye Pork Pie Hat”Concluding PrayerThe Story is back in two weeks with something fresh for you to enjoy sip sip.…
 
Welcome to our Church, our soon-to-be congregant. Are you familiar with our institution? Do you know the works of the Story? Are you looking to convert someone who the Story has so far denied? Listen to this "trailer," and perhaps enjoy the featured episodes:77. After the Attack45. It's My Right 60. They Made a Strange Love - Guest Preacher Joe Per…
 
The Story Must Be delayed a week, dear congregant. Shh, shhh, dry your eyes, child, for we put together a special treat to help you pass the time! Our faithful patrons selected their favorite chunks of our patreon exclusive podcast: the 522 Club. We have compiled them here for YOU. Listen down and CHUNK UP.Our first book of PSALMS:www.thestorymustb…
 
Here is the Story! Don’t get distracted! Not like I did at Taddy’s wedding, when the horse got loose. You see, a horse must learn every lesson with one eye then the other. Myself, I’ve always been left-eyed. Now, my uncle was right-eyed, but this was because of an incident at a barbecue with a long fork. Forks of over 5 inches in length should be c…
 
VRRRRRRROOOOOWWW here comes the plane beep beep open wide. Let the Story be your words, your every thought. Open your mouth wide, the Story’s gonna land inside VRRRREOOOOOWWWWInvocationPsalm: “Plane Peepin’”Liturgical Reading: “Immortal, Forgotten Words”Concluding PrayerOur first book of PSALMS:www.thestorymustbetold.comMerch VRRRROOOOOOOAA: https:…
 
Come to my chest, sweet TOT, and suckle at my plastic feeding port. You can tell how much I love you by how calmly I wince. Shh shh shh, if that mockingbird don't sing, papa's gonna buy you some gasoline.Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm)Featuring: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space)Invocation…
 
We’ve been smelling fennel for weeks, and sure enough it’s because there’s MORE. Marcus caught the sniff, and Jackie too, you bet. Sniff along, and just see what ends up inside you, ya goof. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space)Featuring: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm)InvocationThe Feast of …
 
We are taking a week off and sharing this recent Story so you might be fresh and PREPARED for the next two parts coming out in the new year. Marcus and Jackie will be returning for parts 2 and 3 of Good Night My Love.***When parasites fill your abdomen, take a deep breath, see your primary care provider, and ENJOY it. As a new host, try to name you…
 
Mark Twain's mummified corpse spins somewhere in a shallow grave fulla dirt n worms heh heh yeah you better BELIEVE. Chalmsberry Grib could palm Tom Sawyer like a basketball and dunk that skull until it was CHUNKS. Yeah, Chalmsberry Grib, you tricky tot, tell us: where did you come from?Hour 22 of the 522 Hour Story Fund-a-thonDonations Honest (www…
 
The Story snuck into your bedroom in the middle of the night and removed something you love. Will you notice what it took? Or will you pretend not to? It’s more comfortable to be a Story coward than a Story hero. I bet YOU could tell us allllll about that.InvocationPsalm: “Chromosome Dance”Liturgical Reading: “Fax Cover Sheet”Concluding PrayerWe ha…
 
I got an arrhythmia and it starts with an S, and ends with a TORY. YEAH. My heart beats for the STORY, thump thump. Oooh, and if you open up your ears real wide, it’ll thump in you, too, tee hee. Cro-Croa DaytimeLiturgical Reading: “The Voluntary Heart”Cro-Croa PMThump thump, congregants, we’ll thump ya again in two thumps of the week’s thump.Merch…
 
Child transformation! Spooky, scary. Boys becoming scaly, dads becoming sad. Enjoy the first Story channeled through our scabby assistant groundskeeper, Devon.The service to this glorious Story was crafted in conjunction with humble patron and VIP Story Glory Guard Congregant Dakota V! The Story’s gonna getchya, heh heh.Our Virtuous Guest Preacher:…
 
Shhhh, breathe in. Breathe out. Keep breathing out. Out! OUT! I did NOT say “in.” OUT.Today, we calm it down, grease it up, and relax our minds into a state of responsive, ready terror. Breathe with us—and keep them pearly winkers SHUT.Story retreatBonfireLiturgical Reading: “A Guided Meditation”Concluding RemarksIn two weeks we’ll grease you up ag…
 
Hark! Praise! Today is Greasegiving! What a HOLY DAY. Today we learn every Truth, and witness the Greatest Story Of All Time. We honor Devon, for some reason. Also: there’s a psalm.InvocationPetitions for Glorious CongregantsPsalm: “Lil Sips”Liturgical Reading: The Story of Revelation FEATURING Every Answer EverConcluding RemarksSolos improvised by…
 
It’s late, and a sweet lil Devon had another nightmare. Sounds like it’s time for some STORY. Cuddle up, wriggle your toes, and prepare yourself for three tales with the UTMOST loose connective tissue. Talkin’ ALIENS. YES.Matching PajamasLiturgical Readings: “Chunk Riots”“The Pee Room”“Spooky Aliens!”GoodnightThe Story is taking a well-deserved bre…
 
Ameri-come one and all, to the rootinest tootinest Story this here Story mouth ever done Storied. You better bet your ASS that Tim Allen pops up in this wild hogride. That’s just what happens when you AMERICA.Heartfelt SentimentsAn Unwelcome GuestLiturgical Reading: “And America Makes Two!”A Welcome GuestTuck your hand between your pits, clamp down…
 
You’ll never miss no one as much as you miss CELEBRITY. CELEBRITY is how you know what it means to live. No one alive is happier than CELEBRITY—so when they die it’s a-mournin’ time, heh heh. HONK HONK, GRIEF GRIEF.Guest Preacher: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 Podcast, @jackthatworm on Instagram)InvocationPetitions for Dutiful CongregantsLiturgical Read…
 
The separation of church and state don’t mean SHIT. Yeah, mix em up, bay-bee. Gimme some church in my state, especially in my secret government directives, ooh ooh. What would the government do with our taxes, and faith in an unseen god? Perhaps, they’d try to take a lil ol peek, heh heh. Guest Preacher: Elliott FriesenAcoustic Guitar: Elliott Frie…
 
A talking dog found today’s guest, who delivers a Story about SPICY, oh so sweet LOVE. Cardinal Larson, you rascal, and also: you tragic lover. Listen to this high octane friggin ride, and ask yourself: are you TOUGH ENOUGH to defend your love from a scorned A-list celebrity congregant?InvocationCardinal Larson ReturnsLiturgical Reading: “The Night…
 
Nothing helps time in isolation like a little woof woof, a little bark bark grr grr ruff ruff. Talking DOGS. But remember: sometimes a pet is just a friend who will watch you die. After you're gone, they might even do more than watch! Nibble nibble, crunch crunch.InvocationRuff ruff yip yipLiturgical Reading: “The Recovered Diary”Woodrow’s BurdenOh…
 
Hey! Yes you! Get out of the dirt and come inside; we got mourning to do. Yes, mourn a fresh one with us, mourn until you’re dry. Guests are coming, and they want to see your grief. A Secret MeetingThe Break RoomLiturgical Reading: “I Seen Locusts Out Back”Devon’s WarningThe 522 Club is next week for patrons, then a fresh Story for all us lay peopl…
 
Devon! What are you doing here? This is no place for you! Get out! OUT! Ohh, you rascal. Well, do what you want, because this Story will happen to YOU. Yeah. YOU. You think you like jokes but you ain’t heard jokes like THIS before. Sleep tiiiight.InvocationPetitions for Worthy CongregantsLiturgical Reading: “Yuck Yuck in My Mouth for a Dollar”The T…
 
When parasites fill your abdomen, take a deep breath, see your primary care provider, and ENJOY it. As a new host, try to name your new parasites with care. Welcome to the beautiful new you. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space, www.lastpodcastlive.com for new special $6.66)Featuring: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 pod…
 
Hello? Who’s there? The Church is CLOSED. Oh! Goodness! It’s just you, listener. Join the clergy in the dead of night, in the empty Church, as we recount our share of spookies:Brother Reid Endures a VisitorSister Callista Surrenders to the ParcelPastor Andrew Interrupts TragedyOh how we wish the congregation could join us in hot, steamy PERSON. Mer…
 
Marriage consumes lives as often as it saves them. Have you been consumed by a partner, whole, so every piece of you seeks to serve the other? On the tottering seesaw of codependence, were your feet on the ground, or did you wobble in the sky, eyes focused solely on the greedy heft of your spouse? What sound will you make when you fall?This service…
 
On this, our one-hundredth proper episode, Chalms guides us to profound questions: What were you doing in the Soviet Union between 1978 and 1984? Did you suffer for your crimes? Or is your suffering yet to come? Heh heh, atone, congregants. Atone!Residing Congregant: ChalmsInvocationPetitions on behalf of Worthy CongregantsLiturgical Reading: “It W…
 
The places you visit in your dreams are real! The people within will find you! They will yell at you! Ohhh what did you do? Because I tell you what: you DESERVE it.InvocationMedal Award CeremonyRecipient: Woodrow the DogLiturgical Reading: “The Dreamt City”The ReturnOhhh help us enduuure, allow us to prosper: patreon.com/tsmbt…
 
We’re boned, congregants! Yeah, we screwed the pooch bad, chomped a big fat one, sat on a REAL stinker. Even the Story knows turmoil, Narrator and Listener alike. Dang!InvocationPetitions on Behalf of Solemn CongregantsLiturgical Reading: “The Wandering Narrator”The ReturnSlop like a pig in the pen of our spiiiicy Patreon: patreon.com/tsmbt…
 
Greeting cards bring joy and consolation to the grieving and joyous. Imagine a card that brings ruin. What would the card say? Do you believe the card, or deny the truth it has brought you? What will you do when you are replaced?GUEST CLERGY: Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Kinda Fun podcasts)The CORYImploring of RecipesLiturgical Reading: “T…
 
You know that feeling when you hug your aunt and she whispers in your ear, “I’m proud of the way you cut hair, Eugene”? Well, this one is also about feelings! Feelings deep down! Feelings with feelings. Feelings ready to CONSUME. Ruff ruff, snort snort, congregants. GUEST CLERGY: Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Kinda Fun podcasts)InvocationPe…
 
Brothers come in all sizes! In the Story, the biggest brother shall be the littlest, and vice versa yeah you get it. If there’s one truth for you in today’s Story, it is this: some kids are real chunks-a shit.InvocationPetitions on Behalf of Humble CongregantsCORY played by Guest Clergy Ben Kissel (Last Podcast on the Left, Kinda Fun podcasts)Litur…
 
Yeah drink a brew, pop a mozz’ stick, and bowl yourself a handsome strike, you goof! This Story is about bowling and probably NOTHING else. Nope! Stop askin questions!Oh also?? Uh, yeah: we’re RICH.InvocationPetitions on Behalf of Wealthy CongregantsLiturgical Reading: “Dick Dvorak Bowls a Perfect Game”Concluding PrayerJoin our wealthy, ohh just sw…
 
Congregants gather and spit runny in your palms, because we got something you'll wanna grease up and hog down on. YEAH: a BONUS episode.Contained in this thoughtful bonus:Spider BiteShake My HandAn Important Story About Marriage Featuring the BoyNext Tuesday, for patrons we will have a 522 Club episode, and will return the following week with a bra…
 
False holiday alarm! Ring ring ralse! If this bell’s a-ringin’ then a Story is false. On this day, we arrive early, for no reason, only to give you extra time upon which to stew on these heresies true. STEW!InvocationUncle StoryLiturgical Reading: “More More More Christmas Heresies”Concluding PrayerA patreon has come to you, healthy and honest! Joi…
 
Ohh send me a sexy pic, sexfriend. Heh heh, oh I’m a person alright, wink wink hush, a sexperson ready to sex, sex, sex! All I need is a lil ol thing called, um, your social security number ;)Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Get tickets for the Page 7/Wizard and the Bruiser live shows at www.lastpodcastnetwork.com/p7live)Patreon announcementInvoca…
 
A stranger is coming! When they confront you, will you endure or crumple? Heh heh, oh, congregant, the question was rhetorical! We all crumple before the stranger—when the stranger is the STORY.InvocationPsalm: “Four Showers”Liturgical Reading: “Maps of the North”Concluding PrayerA Story symbol pin! A Cro-Croa mug! Coming oh so soon. Await it here:…
 
Some families are small, some are swollen and grotesque. Some families have daddies, some have secrets. The Crispos invite you to learn about their aged clan—do you dare deny them?InvocationTestimonial: The Dream of Sister CallistaLiturgical Reading: “Family Union”Concluding PrayerWe have merch and more is on the way. Check it truly here:https://to…
 
Forget your mom! Forget your dad! Forget your siblings! Forget everything if it means remembering the Story. Forget your own dang self, heck, see if the Story cares. The Story cares about you only if you LOVE the Story to your own ruin. It is NOT a dick move.InvocationThe Matter of Chalms’ DisappearanceLiturgical Reading: “The Forgotten Man”A Bapti…
 
Our families fade from us. It is an effort to keep them by our side. The Story knows how our minds slip and slosh! Anyhowwww, today is Devon’s birthday, and we threw a special service just for him. He is our groundskeeper, and a pathetic man. Forgive us for including him. InvocationDevon’s Birthday MemoriesLiturgical Reading: “The Passage of Memory…
 
Bury a bone in the flesh matrix. Bark, growl, and yip, ya goof! Pet ownership is difficult, but so is pet personship. If you—even for a second—think this is supposed to be funny, you can trot off to a euthanasiarium, cuz this one is SERIOUS.Guest Preacher Holden McNeely (Wizard and the Bruiser & Page 7 podcasts, holdenatorsho on Twitch)InvocationWa…
 
Gums of pink, are gonna stink / Gums of red, are fonts of dread. Teeth are unwelcome in our parish! Yet, hygiene is a virtue. Ohh, we’re complicated—no easy answers in the Story! You must yeeeearn.InvocationThe Washing of ChalmsLiturgical Reading: “The Swollen Mouth of Family”Concluding PrayerGrease unto thee. Be sure to check out the newest video …
 
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זכויות יוצרים 2021 | מפת אתר | מדיניות פרטיות | תנאי השירות
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