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Texas Podcast Massacre

Texas Podcast Massacre

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TEXAS PODCAST MASSACRE is a weekly horror movie podcast where hosts Mitch, Nate and Lisa talk about what’s new in the horror world, have a weekly debate, and review one horror movie. Each week they invite a special guest who typically does not watch and/or enjoy horror films to jump in the conversation as their “unsuspecting victim”, providing reviews for both horror addicts and the horror averse!
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This week we review John Carpenter's Vampires from 1998 and debate whether this is the least likeable cast of all time. Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime horror fans. Leave us a voicemail by calling 346-246-3143! You can connect with us at texaspodcastmassacre.com, tweet us @TXPodMassacre, like us on Facebook, and email us a…
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Mitch's computer is still dead this week, so we go back in time and discuss the horror movies that made us fans of the genre when we were WAY too young! Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime horror fans. Leave us a voicemail by calling 346-246-3143! You can connect with us at texaspodcastmassacre.com, tweet us @TXPodMassacre, li…
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Mitch's computer died this week, so we preview 2023's upcoming horror slate and pick out the films we're the most excited for along with a lot of Nun 2 talk! Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime horror fans. Leave us a voicemail by calling 346-246-3143! You can connect with us at texaspodcastmassacre.com, tweet us @TXPodMassacr…
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This week we have a double feature reviewing two somewhat classic 2023 films Renfield and Scream 6! Debate Question: What horror roles should Nic Cage take on next? Movie Reviews: Renfield (2023) and Scream 6 (2023) Final Cut: Movie review scores from hosts and guests Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime horror fans. Leave us a…
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Mitch is back from his Summer Living and travels to review Evil Dead Rise! We debate way better names for this movie and rank where this film sits in the illustrious Evil Dead franchise. Debate Question (9:10): What is a better name for this movie than Evil Dead Rise? Movie Review (18:25): Evil Dead Rise (2023) Final Cut (58:40): Movie review score…
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Re-release of episode 245! We kick off Guiller-May del Toro month with Mother's Day-approved Mama from 2013! We debate the Murderverse, get a controversial review, and Mitch talks about parenthood. Debate Question (5:35): What's Nate's take on the 'Murderverse'? Voicemail/5-star review (18:45) Movie Review (33:25): Mama (2013) Final Cut (65:10): Mo…
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This week we review Tales From the Darkside: The Movie... well we mostly pitch spin off movies. We debate which film segment would make a good spinoff, Mitch debates Evil Dead Rise vs. Beau Is Afraid, and Nate references The Good Son again. Debate Question: Pitch the Tales from the Darkside spin off movie Movie Review: Tales From the Darkside: The …
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Mitch Madness concludes with Guyver: Dark Hero, the sequel that only young Mitch wanted! We debate Ultraman vs. Guyver, take one of the best actor rabbit holes ever, and we say the word 'Zoanoid' so many times! Debate Question (4:15): Is Guyver better than Ultraman or Godzilla? Movie Review (17:40): Guyver: Dark Hero (1994) Final Cut (57:33): Movie…
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This week we're back with another Mitch pick, Return of the Living Dead 3 from 1993. We debate which 2000s teen tv characters would fit in horror franchises, talk about how Hereditary 100% ripped off this film, and pitch a Night Of vs. Return Of the Living Dead film. Debate Question (3:50): What 2000s teen tv idol would fit best in a horror franchi…
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This week we make kid Mitch's dreams come true and review Stay Tuned from 1992. We debate the best tv spoofs for hell (Kill More Girls and Dead Lasso), run through so many early 90s TV show puns, and Mitch roasts Rotten Tomatoes reviews. Debate Question (3:50): What's the best hell spoof of a current tv show? Movie Review (16:00): Stay Tuned (1992)…
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Happy St. Patrick's Day! As per tradition we review Leprechaun Returns, debate the next horror director that should take on the storied franchise, and Mitch rants about bad limericks and Nate's movie score. Debate Question (TBD): What horror director should take up the next Leprechaun movie? Movie Review (TBD): Leprechaun Returns (2018) Final Cut (…
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This week we watched listener request The Dead Don't Die from 2019. We debate what we do would do as a zombie, ask whether Sturgill Simpson deserves jail time for writing this song, and apologize to Joy Ride fans. Debate Question: What are you doing as a zombie? Movie Review: The Dead Don't Die (2019) Final Cut: Movie review scores from hosts and g…
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Doll of Fame week 5 is belatedly upon as with The Boy from 2016. We give a horror name to Mitch's brand new baby Samara, pitch an American Girl doll slasher flick, and pitch Brahms in a band called Doll and Oates. Debate Question: What horror name should Mitch's third kid get? Movie Review: The Boy (2016) Final Cut: Movie review scores from hosts a…
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Congrats to Lisa and Mitch on kid #3! To commemorate this joyous occasion, here's our classic Rosemary's Baby episode! Join the Texas Podcast Massacre coven as they drop a new single and review the 1968 masterpiece Rosemary's Baby. Show Segments: Song (0:27): Rosemary's Baby (Ice Ice Baby) Debate Question (03:27): What would it take for you to sell…
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Doll of Fame week 4 is upon us so we review the 4th Child's Play film Bride of Chucky. We debate the best mid-franchise pivots, Mitch FORGETS TO WATCH THIS MOVIE, and Jennifer Tilly's Tiffany steals the show with the nomination. Debate Question: What's your favorite franchise film reimagining? Movie Review: Bride of Chucky (1998) Final Cut: Movie r…
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The Doll of Fame continues unfortunately with the obligatory Puppet Master entry, Puppet Master 4 from 1993. We debate the best actors to do Egyptian demon voiceovers, reject Decapitron, and discuss the somehow 15 films in this franchise. Debate Question (TBD): Who should have done the voicework for Sutek? Movie Review (TBD): Puppet Master 4 (1993)…
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Week 2 of Doll of Fame has us frowning on the English countryside with Possum from 2018. We debate the things from our childhood that creeped us out, Nate gushes over Garth Marenghi's Dark place, and we induct Possum in as the creepiest nominee so far. Debate Question (3:15): What creepy thing did you fixate on as a child? Movie Review (14:35): Pos…
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Somehow the Doll of Fame is back already with M3gan, instantly the most memorable movie of 2023 so far. We debate M3gan vs. the Child's Play remake from 2019, Mitch corrupts his niece with android TikTok dance videos, and we find entirely too much meaning in this film! Debate Question (3:50): Compare Child's Play (2019) to M3gan Movie Review (20:50…
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This week we dine in on new HBO Max entree The Menu. We debate which food in film we would add to The Menu (including Sausage Party), Mitch says 'amuse bouche' way too many times, and there are many food puns to be digested. Debate Question (12:10): What food from a film would you add into The Menu? Movie Review (23:00): The Menu (2022) Final Cut (…
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We're back in the year 2023 aka 202-M3gan with 1986 robot slasher classic Chopping Mall. We dig into director Jim Wynorski's backlog of punny adult films, discuss why you need tasers AND lasers, and Mitch pines for the days of Spencer's Gifts. Horror News (2:50) Movie Review (16:50): Chopping Mall (1986) Final Cut (54:30): Movie review scores from …
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We're ending 2022 by ranking our most/least favorite movies of the year, getting excited by 2023 films, and agreeing on another Doll theme month. Horror News (3:30) Top 10 Horror Movies of 2022 (16:20) Best/Worsts of the Year and what's coming in 2023 (63:50) Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime horror fans. Leave us a voicemai…
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Re-release of classic Christmas episode number 177 Gremlins 2! This week Lisa is back to review the classic sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch! We talk about Gizmo in space, the worst office building of all time, and physics-breaking Gremlins made only of electricity. Segments: Debate Question (3:03): What's your pitch for Gremlins 3? Movie Review (1…
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We're back with another round of Home Alone where Kevin McCallister gets closer and closer to becoming Jigsaw. We discuss true crime theories, Mitch's undercover mob boss theories (multiple times), and the still the stone-cold parents in family film history. Debate Question (3:30): Where should Kevin McCallister have traveled for Home Alone 3? Movi…
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We're back from a Thanksgiving break with listener request Becky from 2020. Did you want to see Kevin James as a neo-nazi? Well this is your movie! We debate single female name titled film quality, if 'Apex' is the best henchman name, and what Becky 2 would look like. Debate Question (8:45): What are the best female name titled horror films? Movie …
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This week we take listener request Joy Ride for a spin we'd like to forget. We debate the worst movies to spawn franchises (wink), discuss the classic TV series Crank Yankers, and rail against poorly written characters and truck physics. Debate Question (03:35) Movie Review (15:00): Joy Ride (2001) Final Cut (53:00): Movie review scores from hosts …
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Mitch is trapped in a hurricane this week, so Nate solo-reviews classic A24 film Bodies Bodies Bodies from this year. This Unsuspecting Victim-friendly film features Tik-Tok mishaps, Pete Davidson, and Gen Z people who have never heard of the rules from Scream. Spoiler-Free Movie Review (1:00): Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) Spoiler Review (8;25) Fina…
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We kept comparing Halloween Ends to Terrifier 2, so why not review it? We debate clown sight-gags, what's the worst way to go down to a clown, and what a Terrifier 3 would look like. Debate Question (7:00): Where does Art the Clown rate vs. other horror killers? Spoiler-Free Movie Review (17:00): Terrifier 2 (2022) Spoiler Review (40:40) Final Cut …
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This week the Why I Hate This Album podcast has picked another winner for our annual Halloween crossover with the definitely-not-a-classic Spawn from 1997. We debate if the album or movie is worse, discuss poorly spelled jokes, and explain the film less obviously than the characters did. Debate Question (4:06): Is the soundtrack or the movie worse?…
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Halloween Ends Tonight!!! This week we review the last release of the Halloween trilogy and Mitch goes on multiple rants about this polarizing new film. Listener Voicemails/Messages (4:00) Movie Review (27:30): Halloween (2022) Final Cut (73:30): Movie review scores from hosts and guests Texas Podcast Massacre is a labor of love for us longtime hor…
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October keeps bringing the pain, so this week we review the recent Hellraiser remake that we saw at Fantastic Fest! We debate what franchise Hulu should reboot next, skin streching, and the landspeed of a Cenobite. Debate Question (04:00): Why is this reviewed lower than Werewolf by Night????? Movie Review (16:30): Hellraiser (2022) Final Cut (1:06…
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We're back from this year's Fantastic Fest with our favorite moments from the festival and a review of Nate jump scare approved recent release Smile! Debate Question (3:30): How was Fantastic Fest 2022? Spolier Free Review (24:15): Smile (2022) Spoilers (46:15) Final Cut (59:45): Movie review scores from hosts and guests Texas Podcast Massacre is a…
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The inaugural class of the Doll of Fame mercifully comes to a close after Week 4 where Six Shooter from Puppet Master 3 joins their esteemed colleagues. This week we discuss how many leeches is too many, why no one can physically move their feet, and give the name of Macho Mitch as the future doll mascot of the podcast. Movie Review (5:00): Puppet …
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Doll of Fame week 3 returns with Korean banger Suddenly in the Dark from 1981. Nate goes solo in this episode as Mitch is too busy collecting rare butterflies to watch a film for his own theme month. Discussed: the word 'erotic' too many times, Lifetime poisoning movies, hallucinagenic doll nightmares, attic windows. Movie Review (2:15): Suddenly i…
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In this special episode, Texas Podcast Massacre interviews the Geare Brothers (Darren and Jeff), the writers of the recent, well-received horror film The Retaliators. We discuss the real-life trauma that was the origin of the film, pit brother against brother on Attics vs. Basements, Santa Jaws, how Five Finger Death Punch are also great at acting,…
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Our month of Doll of Fame inductees continues in week 2 with 'Doll Out Boy' from the underrated Stuart Gordon-directed classic Dolls from 1987. We debate unlikeable characters in horror, talk about the science of turning a person into a doll, and Nate proves that Dolls created Toy Story and all Pixar films. Debate Question (3:50): What are some of …
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This September Mitch has taken over show programming and that means an entire month of films featuring dolls we're calling the Doll of Fame (trademark pending). For week 1 we go back to James Wan's roots with 2007's Dead Silence and induct ventriloquist dummy 'Billy' into the inaugural class. Debate Question (4:40): Listener email: What franchise h…
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This week we share a truck stop with returning Unsuspecting Victims Jenna and Derrick! We debate the machine most likely to murder us, talk comet physics, and bust out our worst AC/DC impersonations. Debate Question (4:40): What machine come to life would be the one to get you? Movie Review (18:50): Maximum Overdrive (1986) Final Cut (63:00): Movie…
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This week we get into the Hellraiser franchise with a sequel (of course!) with Hellbound: Hellraiser 2! We debate where this franchise rates vs. Ghoulies, Nate rants about Cenobite agility, and Mitch recounts people sticking needles into themselves. Debate Question (5:20): Where does Hellraiser fall in the annals of 1980s horror franchises? Movie R…
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Fan favorite Unsuspecting Victim Taylor joins us this week to review the recent Hulu release Prey! We debate who the Predators should stalk in the next movie, break down some stellar dog acting, and it's Nate's turn for a rant regarding who can take out a Predator! Debate Question (4:50): What civilization should fight the Predator next? Spoiler-Fr…
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This week we review Jordan Peele's latest Nope with Unsuspecting Victim Anthony! We debate what type of Vampire/Football movie Peele should do next, Fry's gets a lot of free advertisement, and end up disagreeing on how good this movie was. Debate Question (4:00): What film should Jordan Peele make next? Spoiler Movie Review (22:00): Nope (2022) Fin…
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For Week 4 of SummerStab the wrestling and 80s horror aficionado Kevin Castle returns! We review Oregon horror classic Just Before Dawn, discuss how Tara Reid is the new George Kennedy, and explain how they DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE WARNINGS! Movie Review (18:00): Just Before Dawn (1981) Final Cut (75:30): Movie review scores from hosts and guests Texa…
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Week 3 of SummerStab continues with yet another sequel, the Ryan Reynolds action movie berth in Blade Trinity featuring Triple H. We debate when vampires became less scary, talk about Jessica Biel's arms, and bust out our favorite Blade quotes. Debate Question (6:00): When were vampires last scary? Movie Review (22:45): Blade Trinity (2004) Final C…
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Week 2 of SummerStab continues with recent release The Black Phone. We debate the best masks in horror, pick which type of ghost kid we would be, and welcome first time guest Ben to our secluded, soundproof podcast studio. Debate Question (3:20): What is the scariest mask in film? Movie Review (20:30): The Black Phone (2022) Final Cut (65:00): Movi…
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This week we're bringing back SummerStab 2022 with the double governor action-horror classic Predator! We debate which horror villain should face off against the Predator, give Ts & Ps to Lisa who is out sick, and get too hyped for Hulu's Prey coming out next month. Debate Question (8:00): What horror villain should face off against the Predator? M…
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This week Mitch is forced to watch one of his least favorite movies of all time, Hansel & Gretel from 2020. We debate the best fairytales to turn into horror films, Mitch has multiple rants, and discuss the practicalities of cooking children. Debate Question (5:55): What children's fairytale should be made into a horror film? Movie Review (17:50): …
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This week we review listener request Slither from 2006! We debate Starship Trooper bugs vs. Slither slugs, learn about Mitch's crush on 2000s Elizabeth Banks, and gush over creature makeup. Debate Question (5:45): Which aliens would win Starship Trooper bugs vs. Slither slugs Movie Review (17:45): Slither (2006) Final Cut (54:20): Movie review scor…
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Re-release of episode 170! This week we invite back TPM All-Star Kevin Castle to review the classic Shudder film The Hills Have Eyes. We debate if the tire from Rubber would be a good addition to the film, discuss Centrum Silver way too much, and gush over a very good dog. Segments: Debate Question (07:40): What horror movie villains would work in …
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This week we watched I Saw The Devil which somehow was picked by Lisa. We debate Human Centipede vs. Feast, talk cat and mouse games, and discuss some of the most irresponsible secret agenting of all time. Debate Question (5:20): What other movie should Lisa have picked? Movie Review (22:50): I Saw the Devil (2010) Final Cut (64:00): Movie review s…
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It's episode 250 and we finally get to Mitch's all-time favorite movie Killer Klowns from Outer Space. We debut the parody track 'Clown These Klowns', welcome Taylor back with some incredible trivia, and everyone apologizes to Lisa. Voicemails and 5-star reviews (17:30) Movie Review (49:10): Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Final Cut (87:26): …
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This week we watched The Northman from everyone's favorite director Robert Eggers. We debate other classic tales that Eggers should adapt, critique the posture of Alexander Skarsgard, and talk Valkyrie braces. Debate Question (5:12): What Spakespeare play should Robert Eggers adapt? Movie Review (23:50): The Northman (2022) Final Cut (70:10): Movie…
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