Are you ready to Talk To Me? Join Debra Fileta, a licensed professional counselor, national speaker, and bestselling author for an authentic, on-air, counseling-style show where we talk to people about how they are really doing on Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly known as Love & Relationships). Whether having a conversation with a caller from our hotline, or an on-air counseling session with a notable pastor or leader — each of these episodes is a raw, real, authentic conversat ...
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Avoiding Burnout in Ministry with Tim Timberlake
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Is it possible to serve God and stay filled all at the same time? We know for a fact Jesus did it. But why is it that so many struggle to keep the “balance?” What does avoiding burnout look like for everyday pastors and leaders who are juggling family and ministry and life obligations? How do you even make time to fill up? Today I have a conversati…
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Rest isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. Even Jesus, who was by nature God, yet also fully man -- took the time to REST. But so many Christians struggle to believe that it's okay to slow down, pace yourself, and rest - in a culture that encourages and affirms hustle, grind, and a fast-pace. In this on-air session, I talk to Kayla about the importance…
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Today I am joined by Lindsi who called in to discuss her tendency to ignore or repress her emotions — until they suddenly and forcefully come up to the surface of her life. She feels like her emotions take over at that point, and she doesn’t know how to control them. She gets set off by the smallest things, ends up engaging in conflict — and she is…
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People Pleasers - Candace Cameron Bure
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So much of how we feel and what we do, is influenced by what’s going on underneath the surface of our lives. This is why we have to take the time to “tune in”. We’re tackling the rhythm of TUNE IN and today I am joined by Candace Cameron Bure for an on-air counseling session where we process her people-pleasing tendencies, where they come from, the…
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Do you find that it’s hard to be present? Why do so many of us get stuck on the fears of the future, discontent in the here and now, or regrets from the past? Or what about the devices that we have living in our pockets, tempting us to scroll, and click, and watch — wasting our everyday moments? Today, I have an on-air session with Chris where we t…
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Today on talk to me, I have an on-air counseling session with the one and only Ann Voskamp. We talk about the importance of savoring life through the gift of gratitude. And then we talk about how to actually go about savoring life when you are a season of suffering and it feels really hard to savor. If you are struggling with gratitude, being prese…
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The Theology of SELF-CARE with Joel Muddamalle
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Is self-care biblical? So many Christians are held back from the message of practicing SOUL CARE because of misbeliefs about the theology of self-care and soul-care. They have been taught that the Christian way is “self neglect”. In this special episode, I am joined by my new friend, theologian Joel Mudamalle, as we differentiate between soul care …
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I'm Awful at Boundaries in Ministry
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What happens when you are on the line of burnout on a regular basis? Today’s caller, Liz from California, feels like she’s constantly straddling the line of burnout. She has a really hard time with boundaries, especially with ministry. She feels like she’s taught to “trust the Lord” and push through, but not actually replenish herself. She’s watchi…
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I Thought Boundaries Were Selfish - PROTECT with Bianca Olthoff
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Why do so many Christians struggle with boundaries? We are taught that boundaries are wrong, sinful, or selfish — and that we should always say YES and be ready to sacrifice and serve at a moment’s notice. But is this really the way of Jesus? Or could this lead us down a path of emotional burnout, codependency, and unhealthy relationships? Today, w…
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How many friends do we actually need? And does the desire to connect change through different seasons of life, or is it a sign that something is wrong? Today as we continue the Soul Care series, I have Cindy from South Africa joining me on the hotline to talk about her recent journey with friendships, and her decreasing desire to connect with peopl…
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I Had Followers but Not Friends - CONNECT with Carlos Whitaker
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Isn't it amazing how we can feel so disconnected, when our culture is more "connected" than ever before through social media? Today as we continue the Soul Care series, I have an on-air counseling session with Carlos Whitaker, and we dive into his feelings of disconnect from his friends and family, ironically, during the rise of his online connecti…
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How Full do You Feel? + Soul Care Special Reading with Debra Fileta!
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It’s book launch day for my new book Soul Care!! And I couldn’t be more excited to share this message with you. It’s a message about avoiding burnout, and staying filled. It looks at the 6 essential rhythms that Jesus practiced to care for his soul, and how we can do the same. I have no doubt it’s a message that will change your life like it change…
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Can You Take Caring For Your Body Too Far?
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Is there such a thing as going TOO FAR with caring for our body? Though the church culture can be silent about caring for our body, the world seems to make too much of it. How do you know when you’ve taken it too far and then what do you do about it? Today on the podcast I have an on-air session with Emily who feels like she tends to go TOO FAR whe…
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Why I Neglected My Body with Jasmine Mays
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We continue our Soul Care Series today starting with the rhythm of NOURISH. The functioning of our bodies impacts every other part of who we are, but it’s one of the most neglected messages in the church. Today I have an on-air counseling session with fitness influencer Jasmine Mays, as we dig into her own story of learning to nourish her body afte…
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Why do some people have a tendency to feel more burnt out than others? Why is it so hard to break cycles of feeling depleted and drained? Why is it so hard for some people to say no, to set boundaries, and to care for their souls? Today on the podcast, we start our brand new SOUL CARE SERIES to answer all these questions and dig into some of these …
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Letting Go of Self-Sufficiency with Demi-Leigh Tebow
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We often talk about letting go of the negative labels that people have put on us… but what about the positive ones? What happens when our entire identity is built on the success we achieve in this world… And then we have to lay it all down? Today on the podcast, I have an on-air counseling session with Demi Leigh Tebow, as she opens up about the st…
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Leaving the Adult Industry with Brittni De La Mora
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How do you go from the adult industry to ministry? What are the family dynamics, identity issues, and past trauma that go into someone entering the adult industry— and then how do you find your way out? Today on the podcast, I have a vulnerable on air counseling session with Brittni De La Mora — as we talk about her transition into the adult indust…
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How Do I Find Community In A New Place?
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Making friends can feel hard, and finding community can feel even harder…. Today on the podcast, I talk to Stephanie who recently moved to a new place and is looking for ways to connect with others and form community. We often talk about the benefits of community, but we don’t always discuss how to practically create that type of environment. If th…
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When Ministry is REALLY Hard with Matt Brown
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We don’t often consider the toll that full time ministry takes on pastors and leaders in the church. The role of leading people spiritually also comes at a cost — and often times that cost can be great! Today on the podcast I process this with Pastor Matt Brown, and specifically what to do when Ministry life is really hard. In our on-air counseling…
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Dealing with Heartbreak After Heartbreak with Jeanine Amapola Ward
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Heartbreak after heartbreak… you might know what it feels like to have your heart broken into a million pieces. You might know what it feels like to have your heart broken by someone you thought you would be with forever. How do you come out the other side of heartbreak? How do you believe that God has good things in store for your life and for you…
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I Need Help with Dating Decisions!
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Are you struggling with decisions in your dating life? Today on the podcast, I talk with Carolina, and help her navigate some questions she has regarding dating and dating relationships. She specifically wants to know how you make decisions based on your faith and what God wants for your dating life, versus making decisions based on your emotions a…
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Rejection Wounds with Alexandra Hoover
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How do you handle rejection? Worse yet, how do you handle rejection from people you hoped to be able to trust? How do you recover from feeling unwanted or unneeded? How do you keep it from becoming part of your beliefs and identity? This week on the podcast I have a powerful on-air session with Alexandra Hoover, and we start putting together the pi…
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When You Feel Like You Don't Fit In with Brian Tome
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What do you do when you feel like you don’t fit in? What do you do when you don’t even feel like you belong in your own family? How can you take that feeling that you don’t belong, and turn it into something good… Something healthy… Something purposeful and meaningful? This is exactly the subject we dive into today in this on-air counseling session…
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How do you date after the deep loss of a marriage? Is it possible to love again? Today I talk with Diane who is a widow that is trying to heal her heart after the death of her husband. She’s having a hard time navigating the dating world now that she’s single in her 60s, yet hasn’t dated since her 20s!! We talk about her grief, how to heal, and whe…
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Baggage in Our Marriage with Dave & Ann Wilson
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Today on the podcast, I have a couples counseling session with two of my favorite people… Dave and Ann Wilson! I met them when I was invited to be on their program, family life today, and I immediately fell in love with their authenticity. I knew they would be a perfect fit for couples counseling session to dig into some of the hard things from the…
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Why Can’t I Ask For What I Need?
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Are you good at sharing your needs with others? Most people aren’t. Today on the podcast, Erin from Texas called in to talk to me about the fact that she has a really hard time opening up with others and being vulnerable about what she really needs and how she feels. She’s seen patterns in her life of putting others first and staying silent about h…
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Do I Have Dad Wounds? with Jonathan Pokluda
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Today on the podcast, I have a favorite friend back on for a SECOND on-air session, JP Pokluda!! In our initial conversation, JP and I talk through some of his challenges with having too much on his plate and moving into a season of burnout (listen to the conversation here). In that conversation, I asked if he had ever dug into his past history— an…
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When Old Trauma Spills Into New Relationships
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Today on the podcast, I chat with Rebecca from Tennessee! She’s wanting to know how to deal with past trauma, and especially how to keep it from spilling into present relationships! Relationships are like a mirror to our wounds and weaknesses…. And as much as they reveal past woundings, they also invite us to heal! When people get close enough, we …
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When There Seems To Be No Hope with Katherine Wolf
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Today on the podcast, I am talking to the amazing Katherine Wolf. In her 20s, after the birth of her first child, Katherine experienced a devastating massive stroke that left her paralyzed and turned her life completely upside down. In this on-air counseling session, we talk through this horrific season in her life and what it means to look for hop…
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Today on the podcast, I talk with Faith from Georgia! She’s 37 and single so she really wants to know how to know when you are trusting God with your dating life — versus when you are taking control of the situation yourself. Do you have to sit back and wait for things to happen, or can you take initiative? And what if you are a woman, where does t…
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Struggling With Singleness: A Conversation with Mandisa
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In honor of my good friend – Mandisa, and to honor her life and legacy, I am re-airing this powerful episode on singleness. Do you feel like you’re struggling with singleness? Struggling with singleness does not make you strange, or crazy, or lacking in faith. It makes you human. If you are struggling with singleness, this episode is for you. Tune …
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Single With Married Friends & Struggling
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Today on the podcast, I talk with Lauryn, who is struggling with navigating friendships in this season of singleness. She’s single, but all her friends are married… and she can sometimes feel a bit out of place. She feels as though some of her relationships are becoming unbalanced and she called in looking for some advice. We dug a little deeper in…
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Why Do Some Traumas Take Longer To Heal Than Others?
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Today on Talk To Me, I am joined by Alexis. Her question is, “why do some traumas take longer to heal than others?” Whether you are a trauma survivor, a mental health professional, or someone who is interested in learning more about this important topic, this podcast is for you! Are you ready to talk to me? Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extr…
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Today on Talk To Me hotline, I talk to Andrew from Texas! His question is, “How do you know you are healed after a past relationship?” After a 16 year marriage ended in divorce, he’s wondering how to know when he has healed… And even more specifically, when is it time to consider dating again after divorce? I answer him by explaining that it’s a co…
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Today I talk to Ann from Maryland, who struggles with emotionally overreacting. Due to some prior hurts and past relationships, she finds herself triggered by situations that probably have more to do with her past than they do with her present. She’s having a hard time not overreacting in situations of conflict, and wants to figure out why as well …
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Today I talk to Ann from Maryland, who struggles with emotionally overreacting. Due to some prior hurts and past relationships, she finds herself triggered by situations that probably have more to do with her past than they do with her present. She’s having a hard time not overreacting in situations of conflict, and wants to figure out why as well …
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How to Have Emotional Safety in Marriage
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Today on the podcast I talk with Benjamin from Washington. Benjamin is navigating his life post divorce… wanting to find an emotionally safe environment for himself moving forward and wondering how to do that. We spend a lot of time talking about the fact that emotional safety isn’t something that you necessarily “find” as much as it is something y…
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How to Have Emotional Safety in Marriage
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Today on the podcast I talk with Benjamin from Washington. Benjamin is navigating his life post divorce… wanting to find an emotionally safe environment for himself moving forward and wondering how to do that. We spend a lot of time talking about the fact that emotional safety isn’t something that you necessarily “find” as much as it is something y…
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Today on Talk To Me, I have a conversation with a woman who is struggling with some underlying anxiety about dating! She’s having a hard time figuring out if the fears she’s having are legitimate or not! Do I have anxiety because this dating relationship isn’t the right fit or do I have anxiety because I’m just scared? And how do you know the diffe…
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Today on Talk To Me, I have a conversation with a woman who is struggling with some underlying anxiety about dating! She’s having a hard time figuring out if the fears she’s having are legitimate or not! Do I have anxiety because this dating relationship isn’t the right fit or do I have anxiety because I’m just scared? And how do you know the diffe…
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Am I over my divorce? Today on Talk To Me, I have a conversation with Jerrod who is wondering if he’s actually moved on from the pain of his divorce. He’s battling feelings of regret from the decisions he’s made in his past, and feeling unable to move forward. In this emotional conversation, we unpack some of the things that he did to contribute to…
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Am I over my divorce? Today on Talk To Me, I have a conversation with Jerrod who is wondering if he’s actually moved on from the pain of his divorce. He’s battling feelings of regret from the decisions he’s made in his past, and feeling unable to move forward. In this emotional conversation, we unpack some of the things that he did to contribute to…
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Today I chat with Rebekah from Florida about how to navigate an unhealthy marriage, especially when you have children, who you are trying to raise in a healthy way! The most interesting part about my conversation with Rebekah is that by the time I was able to get to her question, things had already began to shift in her life!!! She started consumin…
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Today I chat with Rebekah from Florida about how to navigate an unhealthy marriage, especially when you have children, who you are trying to raise in a healthy way! The most interesting part about my conversation with Rebekah is that by the time I was able to get to her question, things had already began to shift in her life!!! She started consumin…
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I Have Trust Issues: Dealing with Mental Illness & Repeated Infidelity (with Amanda and Tim)
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What happens when mental health struggles impact your relationship? On this final of couples therapy, I’m joined by Amanda and Tim. Tim has found himself struggling with trust issues, because of the difficult journey they have been on over the past few years. Amanda has struggled with infidelity in their relationship, but underneath the surface of …
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I Have Trust Issues: Dealing with Mental Illness & Repeated Infidelity (with Amanda and Tim)
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What happens when mental health struggles impact your relationship? On this final of couples therapy, I’m joined by Amanda and Tim. Tim has found himself struggling with trust issues, because of the difficult journey they have been on over the past few years. Amanda has struggled with infidelity in their relationship, but underneath the surface of …
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I’m Addicted to Affairs (with Tim and Kathy Bush)
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On today’s episode of couples therapy, I talk with Tim and Kathy Bush! This couple has been through so many hard things yet has come out the other side…. From addiction to affairs to control and trauma, and everything in between, it’s truly a miracle that they are together today and have a message to share. It’s amazing how little we often know abo…
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I’m Addicted to Affairs (with Tim and Kathy Bush)
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On today’s episode of couples therapy, I talk with Tim and Kathy Bush! This couple has been through so many hard things yet has come out the other side…. From addiction to affairs to control and trauma, and everything in between, it’s truly a miracle that they are together today and have a message to share. It’s amazing how little we often know abo…
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Is It Boundaries? Or Is It Control? (with Cristy and Nick)
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Today we continue our MOST POPULAR series of the podcast — COUPLES THERAPY!!! I’ve invited couples to join me on the podcast for ON-AIR couples therapy sessions, where we pull back the curtain on marriage, and talk through the hard things in order to get to the other side! You will love this series, and you will be inspired by these courageous coup…
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Is It Boundaries? Or Is It Control? (with Cristy and Nick)
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Today we continue our MOST POPULAR series of the podcast — COUPLES THERAPY!!! I’ve invited couples to join me on the podcast for ON-AIR couples therapy sessions, where we pull back the curtain on marriage, and talk through the hard things in order to get to the other side! You will love this series, and you will be inspired by these courageous coup…
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