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K is for Kinky!

K is for Kinky

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A weekly discussion about all things BDSM from the perspective of two queer, kinky women! Jenn & Eden are in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic with different backgrounds and levels of experience from the Los Angeles BDSM scene. Jenn is a Dominant and a therapist by day, and Eden is a switch and stay-at-home-submissive who specializes in creative writing. If you are a kinkster or simply curious about how to kink, this show will take you on a deep-dive through the topsy-turvy world of BDSM!
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This week, we discuss the intersection of purity culture and how AFAB folks tangle with body image upon entering and learning to navigate the scene. What can the pressures of idealized body image do to a person? And how can we start to reject the false standards of beauty taught to us through media and social reinforcement? Please note that in this…
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Have you ever wondered what the appeal is when it comes to kinkifying religion & religious trauma? There is something so alluring and taboo about this sacred form of play and inversion - many people are curious, and some are downright scared to look closer. Join us as we interview Miss Blu Thiccc'ems (tatted_unicorn on fet!) and she takes us throug…
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A listener wrote in with a great question that many Tops struggle with...how do we stay connected in scenes and show up with our full selves? How do we access our vulnerability as Tops? In a world where Tops are often portrayed as knowing it all, doing it all, and somehow embodying calm aloofness at all times, we need to be able to detangle the fan…
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Did you know there's a kink server for SoCal where 300+ members hang out, go to munches, and even throw their own gatherings? Welcome to So Cal Kink (aka SCK), the server that started small and boomed during the covid shutdowns! We interview Cid, the incredibly kind organizer who designed the SCK server and poured his passion into creating a safer …
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For the very first episode of season 3, we sit down with Mistress Cyan to discuss what it's like to start and manage a dungeon space! If you have ever thought about opening your own dungeon or want to know some of the behind-the-scenes details about what it takes to make ends meet and build connections, this is definitely a must-listen episode! Ple…
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In this final episode before Season 3, we answer a listener question about how to dismount from a scene that goes sour. What happens internally when we wonder if it's time to call a scene, and how do we recover in the aftermath? We discuss this from the Topside, bottomside, and even through the lens of first-time-scenes vs. established play partner…
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Happy Holidays from K is for Kinky! We wanted to share this top-secret hot take with all of you as a special thank you for tuning into season 2! As the year closes, we are taking a little breather to get through the holidays and set up our schedule for season 3! More changes will be announced in our final episode of the season, so keep an eye out f…
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We answer a listener question about how to maintain long-term dynamics and relationships. It's a heartfelt take on what it really means to watch a person grow over time, including reflections on our own relationship and the impact of personal development and organic change in how we view ourselves, what we want, and the impact this can have on our …
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This holiday season we want to pour some love onto one of our favorite vendors...The Kinky Peach! Join us as we explore their website thoroughly, complete with genuine reactions and descriptions of some pretty innovative, adorable toys! If you stay tuned for the whole episode, you might even get a 15% off discount code... Are YOU a vendor with uniq…
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A lot of people know the phrase, "Your kink is not my kink and that's ok!" But kinkshaming manifests in lots of different ways, and this conversation addresses some of the nuances between internalized reactions, processing, projections of discomfort, and the space between kinkshaming and discussing risks and concerns. --- In other news...our new we…
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What is the difference between funishment and punishment? In D/s, there is often a place made for both - but who decides which is which? We will cover things like: Masochism (and how pain tolerance and enjoyment play into the effectiveness of punishments) Headspace Intention D-type Accountability Certain conditions in which punishing an s-type may …
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We answer a listener question in this episode of K is for Kinky: how does adding in sexual touch and sexual play change a scene? Is it really that different? How does sex change negotiation, headspace, and risk levels? We cover all this and more (including a reference to hamburger-stealing and redoing first times) in this hilarious episode! --- **T…
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We've got one word for you: coulrophobia. It's everywhere! Literally. Thanks to the TV series "IT" and the movie remake by Stephen King, multiple generations are now terrified of clowns. But did you know that clown play goes beyond fear? Join us this week to hear from Unger, a kinkster with two clown personas who shares why he enjoys this unique fe…
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Happy Halloween! It's time for us to answer a question nobody is asking (but we all really ought to) ... what do vampires and kinksters have in common? Besides frequenting dungeons, you'd be surprised by this theory that vampires are coded to represent a lot more than a creepy guy with hunger pangs! We discuss many TV shows & books, so please heed …
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Happy Halloween! We are so excited for spooky season and thought we'd celebrate by doing a vewy scawy episode all about: BLOODPLAY! For real. This episode, we interview the amazing Sox to learn a little bit about the world of bloodplay. We cover safety, types of bloodplay, why this kink is so interesting...and why you should do your research before…
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It's a pretty steep climb to the top! What do new Tops face when they come into the scene? Miss Jenn and Eden share their own experiences and feelings on the subject, including: The burden on Tops to "know things" Being safe by being honest Pacing scenes Getting to know your own style ...and much more! Make sure to check out our instagram so that y…
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If you know, you know: it's a really big challenge to be a parent, let alone a parent who leads a covert kinky lifestyle! What do you do when your kiddos are too young to be left at home? How can shared custody impact opportunities to explore the scene? At what age is it okay to leave the kids behind to take a night for yourself? And most challengi…
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In this episode, Jenn & Eden answer a listener question about exhibitionism & possessive behavior in relationships. Why do so many people find possessiveness, protectiveness, and even jealousy arousing? How can we safely play with these feelings without crossing the line into toxic behavior? And how do you break the news to your partner that you li…
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In this episode, Jenn & Eden answer a listener question about what the difference is between a Dominant and a Master/Mistress! You will hear... What a kink is vs. what a role/honorific is The spectrum of roles & the overlapping spectrum of power exchange What some people think it means to be a Master/Mistress Adjectives vs. Roles Whether or not the…
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Have you ever thought of dressing up like a schoolgirl and getting spanked? How about doing a roleplay where you call your naughty submissive into the principal's office? Student/Teacher and school-themed roleplays are some of the most prevalently discussed fantasies in vanilla and BDSM culture alike...but why? What is so enticing about these arche…
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***Originally, this episode was called "Chewers VS Spewers," a phrase we heard without knowing for sure where it originated from! We have since had it brought to our attention that Multiamory did a podcast in 2020 which covered these terms, so we wanted to credit them with popularizing this concept and discussing it first! Thank you Multiamory (and…
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What are the top 5 hardest things about being a Dominant when you're in a 24/7 dynamic and you live together? Miss Jenn talks about Her experiences in the hopes that sharing will make other D-types feel less isolated if they are struggling with similar challenges. D/s is not easy, but the benefits of doing it well and the collaborative growth that …
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Veronika Kestrel, an expert on dollification play, joins us to talk all about her journey into dollification, what doll play is all about, and why this can be one of the most powerfully transformative kinks out there. If you've never had the privilege to hear Veronika share her story, this episode is a must-listen: we get meta on ya'll! --- EPISODE…
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What are the top 5 hardest things about being an s-type when you're in a 24/7 dynamic and you live together? Eden explores some of the tricker parts of 247 D/s, including the way our history informs how we act in relationships, what it means to give up control, and why navigating other people's perceptions so challenging. You'll laugh, you might cr…
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In this episode, Jenn & Eden weigh in on a PopSugar article called "10 Common Kinks, According to Sex Experts" by Sara Youngblood Gregory, an ENM-friendly author who compiled a list based on what Sex Experts claim are the most common kinks! Read the article here: 10 Common Kinks, According to Sex Experts | POPSUGAR Love & Sex We give our two cents …
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Welcome to our VERY FIRST interview! We are proud to partner with the charismatic Madxme Rose, who opens up about what it's like to be a Pro-Domme who is also interested in the lifestyle. We ask Her: How She first got started as a Pro What Her favorite types of play are Some things She wishes clients would do...and some She wishes they wouldn't! Mi…
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Anxiety plays an important role in how we perceive ourselves, our service, and the world at large. In this episode, Eden talks about the ways in which anxiety stopped them from overachieving in the early years of their dynamic with Miss Jenn...and why a growth mindset changed everything. We will be covering: What anticipatory service is Why many s-…
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All relationships have conflict- but what happens when you're in a D/s dynamic and a fight comes up? How do you navigate punishments and tough conversations without upending your dynamic? We will be covering: Our argument protocols How scheduling conversations had made an impact on the power conflict has in our dynamic How punishments, while undesi…
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Three cheers for the red, black & blue in this week's rather festive episode of K is for Kinky! We asked ourselves what the best way to talk about markings was, and it became clear that the only way to move forward was through a live demonstration - that's right. This episode has some real-life impact play in it, complete with pictures if you want …
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It's kind of overwhelming to think about, but you are always building a reputation for yourself! Whether you are actively making good choices or passively existing, people get to know you and form opinions about who you are in the scene. This doesn't have to be a bad thing! In fact, you are the author of who you are! W/we cover ways to build a good…
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Are Y/you interested in High Protocol but Y/you're not sure where to start? Curious about where it's gone? And what exactly IS High Protocol anyways? (Besides fancy, of course!) W/we cover O/our own definition of High Protocol ...including what W/we think it generally entails ...and what W/we think generally does not belong in High Protocol! Discov…
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Do you struggle with offering verbal praise? Are you having a hard time giving corrections in D/s? We faced both of these obstacles and created something called "the heart system" that has done wonders for our relationship and dynamic! Find out about the 4 heart colors and what they mean Hear about the importance of embracing your D/s role Discover…
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If you're like us, you heard about spanking in the vanilla world long before you encountered it in the scene. But where do spankings come from and what is the history of spanking (according to our trusty friend wikipedia)? Why is this type of play so appealing to vanilla and kinky people alike? What role has spanking played in vanilla culture? Why …
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We talk a lot about aftercare and subdrop, but sometimes people forget to address the Topside of this equation...what can make a Top drop? Do all Tops need aftercare? And what type of questions should a bottom ask when it comes to boundaries and scene energy? Hear an experienced Top & a new Top discuss these questions Find out tips and tricks to go…
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How many of you have been asked or wondered on your own, "How does feminism work with me bending over and getting hit with stuff? Am I a bad feminist?" In a world where people tend to prioritize binary gender and heteronormative relationships, sometimes the nuances of this conversation get swept under the rug. We will touch on: What the definition …
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After discovering that many other D/s couples struggle in silence when their 24/7 power exchange isn't functioning, W/we decided to pull back the curtain and talk about parts of O/our relationship that weren't working...and what W/we changed to fix them. Y/you are not alone. 24/7 power exchange is incredibly challenging, especially without avenues …
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Changing your identifiers in a relationship can be both healthy and (occasionally) daunting. Hear how transitioning identifiers has impacted us as we discuss the divergent paths we took to become switches...and in Miss Jenn's case, how that lead to Her embracing Dominance! Hear Miss Jenn's journey from s-type to switch to D-type Enjoy the sound of …
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You did all the classes, learned all the skills, and now you're wondering: where the heck do I find all the good subs? In this episode, we've got answers! Find out... The difference between bottoms & s-types who want power exchange Where to find bottoms and other s-types GREEN flags for bottoms & s-types ...RED flags, too And of course, OBEY - or w…
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It's a tough pill to swallow, but many male and AMAB s-types report being overlooked or mistreated by FemDoms. What's going on here, and can the community at large enact change? We will touch on... The role sexism plays in how we judge (or don't just) toxic behavior Why many AMAB and male-identifying people don't speak up when they're mistreated Ho…
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Everybody is out there looking for love, but where exactly DOES one find a decent Dominant around here? And how can you tell a keeper from...well, a creeper? Where do Doms hangout? What are green flag behaviors for a kickass Dom? On the flip side, what are red flag behaviors to tip you off that a D-type is a creeper, not a keeper? Is acquiring cons…
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One of the most curious things about kinksters in our obvious desire for community - not just when we're in a dungeon or at a munch, but beyond! Why do kinksters like to do vanilla things together? Do kinksters favor parties and experiences that provide kink and vanilla activities combined? Why is our discord obsessed with gnomes, cats, and amazing…
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We all see them...online, in our DMs and on the message boards: creepers are everywhere! But how does one become a successful creeper? Tune in to find out all the steps YOU can take to start creeping today! Learn about fetlife: how to make a profile, what pics to add, and which groups to join! Practice writing comments and DMs to make that personal…
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In the world of polyam, a topic that always stirs up big feels and equally large opinions is veto power. We decided to give you our take on this and also throw in a bit of hierarchy for good measure! Here is cover... What is veto power? Why do so many people have an issue with it? Can veto power be used for good? When does it make sense? How do D/s…
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We've been looking forward to this topic for some time, and in this episode Eden really pulls back the curtain on her little self and what being little is like for her! While not all littles experience this headspace the same way we describe, here's one take on what it feels like to have a little! Get extra bonus info on Leprechauns (an unrelated v…
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We're back for part 2 of Stereotype Me! While we had to jump around a little to make sure we covered as much as we could, you'll hear all about: Daddies, Mommies, & Caretakers Age players & littles Exhibitionists & Voyeurs - they're not all peeping Toms, you know! Furries (and why they are so awesome) Vanilla peeps! --- Check out the Fuck Universit…
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Well well well, the time has come to dig our grubby little fingers into BDSM stereotypes! We start off with Dominants & submissives and then attempt to tackle the rest of the drop down fetlife list of identifiers...and much to our chagrin, we got NOWHERE NEAR the end! There will be a Part 2 coming next week to finish the job, but until then, enjoy …
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Have you ever wondered what would happen if all of your favorite sitcoms were kinky? Well...we have. And in this episode, WE DID! Find out whether or not your favorite TV characters are Dominants, Tops, Bottoms, Submissives, or Switches...and a couple of other off-the-wall identifiers! We cover: Friends - Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and…
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Four our last February topic, we wanted to touch on something near and dear to our hearts...whether or not D/s and romance can actually work. The answer's not as simple or straightforward as you think, so let's take a closer look at the overlap between D/s and romantic love! First off...is this relationship style really the default, or should peopl…
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Should kink and sex go together? And are the two intrinsically connected? In this episode, Jenn & Eden discuss why scenes can be so much fun with sex...and why they can be freaking amazing without it! Are vanilla people the only ones who think BDSM is all about sex, or are kinksters under the same impression? What are the benefits of platonic play?…
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It's that time of year when birds and bees are notoriously active and people "put a ring on it". But what does this mean for the world of BDSM - and is collaring season afoot? What is the difference between an official collaring ceremony and a wedding? How does a traditional collaring ceremony go? Which types of collars need ceremonies, anyway? Wil…
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