Do you know an elderly relative or friend and wonder what to give them for Christmas? Here are some holiday gift ideas that are sure to show you care. Elderly people feel the cold more, so a cozy lap blanket, afghan, bed jacket, or a “wearable blanket” like a Snuggie or Comfy would be a good gift. Offer to come by and decorate the Christmas tree. B…

Who can resist freshly baked homemade chocolate chip cookies (or any kind of cookie, for that matter?) How do you like to eat your chocolate chip cookies . . . Warm? With a glass of cold milk? With a cup of coffee? But guess what? You could enjoy those cookies even more if you share some of them with another person. Maybe a friend who is going thro…

Did you know that a person needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival? Virginia Satir was a pioneering family therapist who is credited with the following quote: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Sometimes we forget the value of human touch. On the way ho…

Which day of the week is the loneliest day for widows and widowers? Here is what a few grieving spouses have shared with me about feeling lonely. Glenda’s husband was killed in a private plane crash, and she says, “I was completely devastated. It took about fifteen months before I was able to function in a fairly normal capacity without breaking in…

Rabbi Hirshel Jaffe, known as “The Running Rabbi” says, “For over 20 years as a rabbi, before my illness, I had helped others through crisis. I was supposed to have all the answers. Yet when I got sick, I discovered I didn’t have them. I felt confused, frightened and desperate. My experience with serious illness has made me want to share with you w…

My neighbor Debbie was ill, and I wanted to care for her, but I didn’t know what to do. It would be so helpful if individuals would just tell me how to help them. But that isn’t always practical, because when someone is ill, it can be difficult for them to make decisions. What should I do when I don’t know how to help? Here’s how I solved the probl…

What can a porcupine teach us about caregiving? In Martin Bell’s book, The Way of the Wolf, he tells the story about a porcupine who was a misfit in society and had no friends: One day, the porcupine stumbled upon a raccoon who had been shot and was near death. The porcupine remained with the raccoon and heard his sad story. Then both fell silent. …

Editor’s note: on July 18, 2024, Emerson’s family posted on their public Facebook page that Emerson succumbed to her cancer and posted this link to her obituary. One summer day on my way home, I passed a lemonade stand, giving it a quick glimpse and a smile thinking “Ah, cute young girls and their little lemonade stands.” However, later that day wh…

Did you know that crying is great for you? Well, I didn’t know that either, but at a caregiving workshop, a nurse told us, “Tears are good for your health.” So, I went home, and I looked it up on Google and found more than 13 reasons that it’s okay to have a good cry. Let me share four of the physical benefits of crying. Tears help us see. They not…

Did you know that the word “comfort” is derived from a Greek word that means “to come alongside and encourage?” God says, “Go comfort my People” and asks us to walk alongside someone during their times of pain. It’s a profound reminder that true comfort goes beyond mere words. But that’s not always easy, is it? Nicholas Walterstorff, a well-known t…

Dr. Rachel Remen, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom, wrote, “When people are talking . . . listen to what they’re saying. Care about it. Don’t interrupt.” I clearly remember a situation when I was sharing my distress over my mother’s stroke with a friend. My friend asked, “How are you doing?” And I started to tell her how I was feeling, and she interr…

I did it again! I just hate it when I forget to do important things. This time I forgot to call my niece on her birthday. She had been feeling alone lately, so it was especially important that I connect with her. But the day came and went, and I just forgot. Do you forget to do important things? We often have good intentions to send that birthday c…

I wish I could find and talk with a man who was on Flight # DL 2297, Minneapolis to Grand Rapids, Michigan on May 1, 2023. I want to apologize to him for treating him badly. It all started when I was in the middle seat and Larry, my husband, was in the window seat. Then I saw coming down the aisle toward me a very large man. Perhaps he weighed 300 …

A note from Karen: I read this story in Chicken Soup for the Soul. Further research indicated that this story originally appeared in The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley. It is a wonderful story about how each of us can make a difference. Starfish Story A friend of ours was walking down a deserted Mexican beach at sunset. As he walked along, he began …

A note to readers: when we reach out to care for someone who is suffering, conversations may turn to God. Perhaps you will find wisdom in the following words. May it help you care for others. Confused. Wondering. Questioning: Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? How can God be an all-loving God and allow horrific things to happen…

“Encourage one another daily.” (Hebrews 3:13.) When did you last encourage someone? Here’s a story for inspiration. One summer day my sister and I were walking down the beach in Florida when we noticed at a distance a group of people standing in two lines facing each other. We wondered what they were doing. When we joined them we saw an amazing sig…

One month ago, cancer became up-close and personal. For years, I have listened to individuals tell their cancer stories. I have read volumes of information about cancer. I have prayed for those with cancer. My ministry’s mission is to offer “how-to-help” podcasts and blog posts for those who care for a loved one with cancer. But on January 17, 2023…

There have been many special presents over the years which I have unwrapped and enjoyed; however, some of my most treasured gifts were not wrapped with paper but spoken to me by individuals who know me and love me – individuals who have: Rejoiced with me when I celebrated and mourned with me when I mourned. (Romans 12:15) Following is a list of som…

I have the following poem by Henry Van Dyke on my refrigerator to remind me each day during Advent to get ready for the Christmas celebration. Are you willing— to stoop down and consider the needs and desires of little children; to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and…

We have a saying in our ministry: “Small acts of kindness can make a big difference.” This is a perfect time to reflect on that saying because November 13 is World Kindness Day. The next two months will be full of holiday celebrations, which can create a hectic feeling and make us believe we “don’t have the time” to care for others. As we go about …

So far as we know, Jesus’ brothers and sisters were not present at the crucifixion. With one exception, his disciples were no-shows. The people whose sight Jesus had restored, whose bodies he had healed, they weren’t present. But when Jesus looked down from the cross, through a haze of pain, he saw that his mother was there. “Now there stood by the…

Someone once told me, “If you are with a person who is crying, do not hand them a Kleenex.” Surprised, I questioned why? He said, “because that signals to them that you want them to stop crying.” Really? Please listen to this: If your friend (or loved one) is crying and their eyes and nose are producing little rivers running down their face, for he…

Trigger Warning: Mention of intense body image I’ve reached the point where ‘Wow! You look amazing! I can definitely tell you’ve lost weight’ Isn’t a compliment anymore But on the exterior I’m not the type of girl you question So you say “how did you do it” And instead slapping on the reality of the space I’m taking up I simply ‘thank you’ it away …

I lied to my daughter. She asked me, while we were standing on the shoreline of the ocean, “What if I get stung by a Man o’ War?” To which I quickly replied, “You won’t”. I wanted her to be brave. I didn’t want her to be afraid or scared of the ocean like I am. I wanted to protect her from the bad things that can happen, the things that sting and h…

Larry and I recently celebrated our 57th wedding anniversary. As we sat having breakfast over-looking a beautiful blue ocean with clear blue skies up above, I asked Larry: “What one factor has contributed to our long-term relationship of 57 years?” He immediately said, “Forbearance.” I was a little shocked. I expected him to say; “We are best frien…

By: Colleen Arnold, MD Pain is a universal experience. Whether it is the temporary hurt of a broken ankle or something more permanent like arthritis, every single human being suffers it at some point in their lives. There is no such thing as a pain-free life this side of heaven. It can be physical, mental, or spiritual, and despite the best work of…

God tells us, “You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man (or woman), and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:32 Maybe I like this strong directive from God because at this point in my life I am a “gray head.” (More like “white hair” but you get the picture.) I suppose some would call me “old” althoug…

Jesus tells us, “Love your neighbor,” and he does not add, “when you feel like it.” Deanna Thompson is Professor of Religion at Hamline University in St. Paul, Minnesota and has written a book about her journey with Stage IV breast cancer. The title of her book is Hoping for More: Having Cancer, Talking Faith, and Accepting Grace. Jesus tells us, “…

When I visited with my mother in the nursing home I always enjoyed talking with a woman named Susan, who, despite significant physical challenges, always seemed to choose the positive in any given situation. During our meaningful chats, Susan shared wisdom gained from living with limited physical mobility and using a wheelchair. She has the followi…

God’s best relationship advice is “Love One Another.” To the point and simple, right? I’m not proud to admit it, but sometimes that advice is difficult for me to follow. When I don’t know how to handle a situation, I tend to avoid it. So when I’m called to “love” another who looks different (maybe with a lot of tattoos?) or behaves (to my eyes) “st…

Cole Arthur Riley, author of Black Liturgies writes, “We were made for beauty and truth and goodness.” During Lent, Christians reflect on the truths of our lives and our world. During these 40 days, I personally acknowledge how I have ignored, hurt, and, at times, rejected God, others, and myself. Then, with Easter comes the promise that I am Forgi…

By Chris Marlink Our family was having a rough day. As we sat down to dinner, it was clear that an accumulation of slights, grievances, and careless words left us feeling wounded and angry. When asked what had happened during the day, our children immediately began to prosecute their cases against one another; everyone was deemed “a jerk.” In that …

By Cheryl Edwards-Cannon My mother lived with dementia for more than 15 years. For as long as she was able, I made every effort to take her along with me whenever I did my errands. It was good for her and I truly enjoyed her company. That’s not to say that going out was easy. It required a lot of advance preparation – and a healthy sense of humor! …

I am a hugger. When the COVID-19 pandemic was in full swing, I missed hugging my grandkids. We know that when seniors and kids connect everyone benefits, so Larry and I got creative with our (safe) socializing. The ideas we came up with like visiting our great-granddaughters with silly signs were necessary during the pandemic, but what’s wonderful …

By Sarah My relationship with my grandmother is difficult. While I was growing up, we fought over boundaries and ideas, because we have very differing opinions on the ways of the world. I would frequently get lectured for the simplest offense. It was like she was talking AT me, not conversing with me. She seemed to carry a lot of anger and as a you…

By Lindsay Cherry The year I was in third grade, we were taught to write in cursive. To my young mind, cursive writing was “fancy.” I couldn’t wait to learn to make the fun swoops and dips with my pencil, concentrating, brow furrowed, to get my penmanship “just so.” Little did I know that the simple act of writing a name on a chalkboard would chang…

Today I am grumpy. Really grumpy . . . because my list of “I can’ts” seems impossibly long: I can’t walk because my hip hurts, the COVID pandemic has grounded me, I can’t worship with my church family and I can’t lose weight, just to name of few. So today I am grumpy. I was planning to indulge in an all-day self-centered pity party, but then a smal…

Did you know that going on a hike with kids is good not only for their physical health, but their emotional well-being too? Larry and I have always been huge fans of hiking. Over the years, we have had opportunities to hike not only with our grandkids, but other young people as well. According to the National Recreation and Park Association, hiking…

Did you know that 61% of Americans report that they are lonely? I recently read about a wonderful program by the AARP called “Friendly Voices.” Volunteers make phone calls to lonely individuals who have requested to hear from someone. In the first few months of the program, which was started during the COVID 19 pandemic to help combat loneliness, o…

by Lisa Braunius If you had told me when my husband and I decided to start a family that our journey would take place over six years, I would have laughed an uneasy laugh, leaning towards denial of the truth. Or, I would have questioned whether I wanted to move forward on this journey. As it turns out, both reactions have a place in our story. Deal…

When the presidential election returns are counted and a president is named, I wonder: how will people react? Some people will be happy; others will not. I am concerned that there will be more of what we’ve witnessed this year: chaos, destruction and division. I have worried. I have prayed. I have wondered what I, just one person, can do to promote…

Are you having a bad day? Or perhaps even just a horrendous hour? Here are my favorite ways to release the feelings of being uptight when life gets me down. Any of these ideas are a good way to practice self-care. Name It. Just the simple act of naming your emotions can help ease fear and worry. Here’s a list of words to help describe what you’re f…

By Carolyn Lowstuter When my husband was fired from his job, it threw us both for a loop. Thankfully, that difficult time is long past. Here are ten things I learned about how to support your spouse after a layoff. Don’t read too much into emotions. They happen for a number of reasons. Recognize that your emotional reactions may be quite different …

At the time that I write this, our country is experiencing especially large job losses due to the COVID 19 pandemic. But even after we rebound from this pandemic, there will always be the unfortunate situation of unemployment. How can we help an unemployed friend? Here are my ideas. Ask them how they are, then sit quietly and listen. And if they do…

Job loss is painful. Research indicates that for many, losing a job may trigger an extended period of grief, similar to losing a loved one to death. With millions of people who are unemployed each year, each of us probably knows someone who is out of a job at the moment. What can we say? It is easy and tempting to offer words of optimism, or to att…

My husband Larry and I have known Steve for over thirty years and every time I have seen him, he has a big radiant smile on his face. His words match his smile as he offers cheer to everyone. Sadly, during the past two years cancer has invaded his life. Yet Steve continues to offer a smile and passes out blessings to all who come into his presence.…

When I attended Western Theological Seminary, I was befriended by a man named Stan, one of my professors. As the years went by, Stan and his wife Nancy became friends. A year ago, Stan died after a battle with Parkinson’s disease. Shortly after the anniversary of Stan’s death, I saw Nancy. Her face was radiant when she said, “I must tell you about …

Phillipians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 Do not be anxious, Karen! That is easier said than done. I am anxious about many things. How does one cast all her anxiety on God? Anne Lamon…

By Jennifer V. Miller I’m looking at a photo from my eldest child’s first day of kindergarten. In it, his big brown eyes shine with anticipation as he proudly climbs the steps of the school bus, ready to embark on an exciting adventure. That photo was taken many years ago, back when we parents knew (more or less) what to expect when we sent our kid…

From time to time, I’ve felt called to write about racial injustice. For example, I’ve pondered my role as a bystander by not speaking up about racial injustice. The deaths of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor have put the issue of racism in the United States front-and-center this summer. Racial injustice is so big, so complicated that…