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Co-Parent Dilemmas

Diane Dierks & Rick Voyles

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There are at least two sides to every conflict, and when it's between divorced or separated parents, sparks can fly. In each episode, co-parenting experts Diane Dierks and Rick Voyles answer listener questions and talk about the benefits and risks of letting go vs. holding on to the conflict in a variety of complex topics facing co-parents today. Do you hold on for the sake of the children or let go for the same reason? Episodes are released every Sunday at noon. Listeners can email 1234Dile ...
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Dialogue Dilemmas is an academic and heartfelt exploration of political conflict for conscientious citizens who are overwhelmed and disillusioned. Dialogue Dilemmas includes evidence-based exploration - and practice! - of communication interventions that can improve the quality of political conversations.
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Minor Dilemmas

Blackwolf

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Advice and strategies for parents struggling to set, boundaries, coping with difficult behaviors and building trust with their teenagers. Together we will explore the common conflicts adolescents are facing from skipping school, lgbtq topics, addiction, curfew, anxiety and beyond. Helping your adolescent navigate their journey into adulthood, doesn’t have to be the struggle it was of generations past.
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We’ve all had moments or we are currently having moments in which life hits us hard where it hurts. My ultimate goal is to reach out to all the people out there having tough times and to give you guys hope. I’ll be sharing tips, stories of my own, and stories of other people.
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Moral Dilemmas Podcast

Moral Dilemmas Podcast

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Three dudes bringing you strange and crazy stories around the world. We are sick of people pussy-footing around, worried about what people think of them. We decided to create a space where we can talk openly about issue in our world that seem to be 'dilemmas' and need to be talked about. Prepare to laugh with us and at us as we make fun of you and your neighbors....
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The DigiEd Dilemmas

Simon (@digisim)

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Less of a podcast and more of a "peacast" (as in peas in the pod), usually less than 45 minutes these clips are the ramblings, musings and conversations with a whole range of people, often working in Further or Higher Education in roles supporting the development of digital education including, blended/hybrid/flexible education experiences.
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In an Instagram world where everyone looks like they've got it together… Dilemmas with Jess Ellis proves they haven't and that you're doing just fine! After being squashed by a tree in Hollyoaks, Jess faced a dilemma… What should she do with her life next? Well, this is it, her podcast where she sits in her house, usually a few gin and tonics deep, and talks to her celebrity friends about your problems. If you've got a dilemma get in touch with Jess on socials, @dilemmasjess on Instagram and ...
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Listener Amanda writes to Diane & Rick regarding her co-parent’s complaint about their daughter’s activities being too inconvenient for him and his spouse to endure. The hosts discuss the concept of time with children being the co-parents’ “turn” to be responsible, not their time to dominate the child’s interests. They also explore alternative lang…
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Have you ever considered plantain, the flat-leaved weed that invades your lawn, a beneficial plant? It is, as are my favorite dandelions. In this episode, we chat about the benefits of both and I share Koleen Garland's hilarious childhood memory of making dandelion wine sure to entertain. I hope you enjoy the story. Related Stories and Helpful Link…
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Listener Ashley is frustrated by both her husband and her co-parent. She frequently finds herself caught between them, and none of it is helpful to her 12-year-old son. Diane & Rick explore the difficulties of navigating this dilemma, and discuss both sides of the equation. WE HAVE A NEW RESOURCES PAGE ON THE WEBSITE! Visit www.CPDilemmas.com/resou…
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Thomas Jefferson's birthdate recalls visiting Monticello, considered a Lab for Plants. We chat about the fascinating history of the plantation and Jefferson's Garden Book, which is filled with trials and tribulations. One is his remarkable Castor Bean Plants. We chat about Castor Bean Plants overcoming the concern of toxicity in the garden and how …
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Diane & Rick respond to a listener’s question about withholding parenting time due to a history of domestic violence and continued toxicity in their other home. What are the steps to determine safety issues? How do parents balance protecting children with the risk of being accused of parental alienation? The co-hosts break it down. WE HAVE A NEW RE…
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The episode starts with a fun little ditty about Bumbershoots (umbrellas) and a chat about Spacing Plants to avoid having to prune them. Plus, the reasons to prune are similar to those for caring for ourselves and our families. We discuss Smokebush, with its splendid features (and cautions), and other shrubs you can rejuvenate-prune in spring. Then…
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Diane and Rick answer listener Carlos’ question about the confusing paragraph in his parenting plan regarding the summer schedule. His co-parent is attempting to manipulate the schedule to get more time than the plan intends. The hosts discuss alternative ways to structure a plan like this and the importance of minimizing conflict for the children …
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I look forward to sharing a sequel to Early Spring Transplants with a story about Root Pruning that relates to our lives. But before that, I share a personal journey of recovery and growth. Then we chat about the how-too's of Root Pruning and the benefits. And wrap up with encouragement to assess our roots and perhaps make room for new feeder roots…
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Listener Colleen wants to stop communicating with her co-parent so she can get emotional relief. Diane & Rick revisit the importance of following the structured email protocol and talk about the pitfalls of going silent or ignoring the impossible co-parent. WE HAVE A NEW RESOURCES PAGE ON THE WEBSITE! Visit www.CPDilemmas.com/resources to view the …
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Early spring is an ideal time to transplant most woody plants. In this episode, we feature large cherry trees a farmer transplanted five years ago and the outcomes with updates that hopefully inspire others to treat animals with respect and kindness. We wrap up with hilarious early Spring Garden Honey-dos. I hope you enjoy the story. Related Storie…
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Diane & Rick address Zachary’s question about how to get his co-parent to stop bringing her toxic boyfriend to the children’s activities. He worries the children will get in the middle of the conflict. They discuss the purpose of setting a boundary is for proactive self-protection, not to manage the other parent’s behavior. We are excited to announ…
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Being kind and relocating honeybees in an old olive tree right outside Linda's front door comes with twists and turns but a happy ending. We chat about how to relocate honeybees and tips on how you can help protect our pollinators. I hope you enjoy the story. Related Stories and Helpful Links: Relocating Honeybees – Being Kind - Blog Post Link to B…
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Diane & Rick address listener Danny’s question about the top three issues facing high-conflict parents and how to resolve them. The hosts discuss the fact that the issues are not the problem, but what lies underneath them, such as the fears and threats that drive the conflict. They explore the idea that some conflicts are not worth fighting for if …
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In this episode, we tour the makings of an Alpine Garden atop massive boulders in Sparta, NJ. You'll enjoy the lineup of highly deer-resistant perennials, creating movement cascading down the boulders. We wrap up with a lineup of spring flowering bulbs, one with a skunk smell, leading to a lesson of acceptance of Canada Geese, not Canadian Geese as…
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Shawn asks a question about how to help her 19-year-old daughter repair her relationship with her father. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of acting parental no matter how old the child is. The discuss the daughter’s dilemma of not only competing for her father’s time, but dealing with the fact he married someone close to her age. We are excited…
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In this episode, we learn about the fascinating history of St. Patrick and the Legend of Clover, also called Shamrocks, featured on St. Patrick’s Day. We wrap up with a story of the good luck lady, a kind gal who finds four-leaf clovers to share with others. I hope you enjoy the story. Related Stories and Helpful Links: St. Patrick and the Legend o…
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Sometimes approaching your court case without an attorney can leave you vulnerable and without all the information you need to make good decisions. Diane & Rick explore a listener’s frustrations about her parenting plan language and how things may have been different if she had not run out of money and had to act pro se. We are excited to announce …
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In this episode, we talk about Straw Bale Gardening, used by Kearny Community Garden; an inexpensive way to grow vegetables in raised beds without tilling and weeding. We review other raised bed techniques. And the pros and cons of Community Gardens, how rules of conduct are sometimes broken, ending with a reflection on living by our "heart rules."…
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Diane & Rick answer listener Ryan’s question about which therapist he and his co-parent should choose for their daughter. The one nearest dad or mom? What really matters? Is it possible to have a “harmonious” discussion, as their parenting plan orders them to do? You might be surprised by their answers. CLICK HERE to access the paragraph about Fina…
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In this episode, we discuss the fascinating Anatomy and Array of Beautiful Bark, noting a selection of trees inspired by a talk given by Bruce Crawford, the Manager of Horticulture of the Morris County Park Commission (NJ). We wrap up with an analogy of our skin, which developed just as the bark of trees based on our areas of origin. And how metaph…
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Diane & Rick discuss the mental health issues that are connected to someone with an extremely self-focused personality disorder, also known as a Narcissist. They differentiate the clinical information from what is promoted on social media and help listeners to determine how to respond to a narcissistic co-parent with good boundaries and not as a vi…
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Do you recall Valentine's Day traditions as a kid having to bring cards to school? It was an assignment that felt awkward. As adults, we give roses; each color has a special meaning. In this episode we also chat about an update on brother Rick's AC-Pallet Garden featured in Ep 145. Special Sedum and Succulent Gardens. I hope you enjoy the story. Re…
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Diane & Rick explore the phenomenon of children engaging in “gaslighting” as a strategy to either survive their parents’ conflict or to manipulate a parent to get what they want. Is it a learned behavior from an alienating parent, or is it part of something deeper? The hosts break it down. If you have a problematic paragraph in your parenting plan …
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Seeing Ruth and Jim's Money Tree reminds me of a Money Tree I met long ago, along with its Plant Parent, which turned out to be life-changing. Then we chat about houseplants in duress due to drying heat and tired soil and how to make them happier. Some plants like to be tight in their pots, much like tight-fitting jeans. Related Stories and Helpful…
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Listener Heather shares a paragraph from her parenting plan entitled “Special Considerations”. Diane& Rick explore how you can go too far in trying to explain an abstract phrase and find yourself right back into the conflict that prompted the language to begin with! Ultimately, they settle on the simple concept of doing what is right without expect…
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After the last episode, Festive Partridge Berry – Terrarium Basics, Jamie asked if the sedums used in the terrarium are succulents, reminding me of a special sedum and succulent garden. Plus, a family story about a pallet garden featuring sedums and other things not so ideal is sure to bring a chuckle. Related Stories and Helpful Links: Sedum & Suc…
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Diane & Rick address listener Shary’s dilemma about parenting time with an infant. How much does the co-parent relationship determine the best schedule? The hosts break it down, as well as discuss the similarities between toddlers and teens when it comes to co-parenting issues. This episode is sponsored by SoberLink. For a discount on your device, …
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Seeking beauty amongst the muddy dreariness, I came upon Festive Partridge Berry amid a tapestry of moss, making me feel like a troll in a miniature forest lurking amongst a carpet of fur. The charming trailing plant decorates terrariums, leading to a story of an event at A & J Messina Greenhouses in Blairstown, NJ, where guests enjoyed building a …
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In another episode in the parenting plan disaster series, Diane & Rick review Camile’s parenting plan language about 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends. They discuss the problems with wording that seems fair in its attempt, but destined to create all kinds of unnecessary conflict. They provide a definition of “good faith” that would confuse the most astute…
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In this episode, Mary Stone shares the treasures encountered during her overdue fall cleanup in early winter, including dozens of Bottlebrush Buckeye seeds. We learn how to plant them and the benefits of the native beauty. Then, we end with reflections on early Winter Treasures in Nature and ideas of clearing spaces at home by giving a few treasure…
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Listener Michael shares his problematic parenting plan language about birthday parties with Diane & Rick. They discuss not only the problem with the wording, but what really matters to the child — the one being honored by the celebrations. The hosts warn against creating language to manage co-parent conflict at the expense of the child. This episod…
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In this episode, I share the story of a garden design client, Jacquie of Byram, NJ, and how we shared life stories that often happen in the garden and amongst nature. We chat about Beautyberry, her newest favorite plant. Then there's the Winter Beauty of Winterberry, which wildlife also loves. We wrap up with the Legend of Winterberry and what make…
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Diane & Rick address a listener’s question about the meaning of dinner in his parenting plan. They discuss how some co-parents go to great lengths to misinterpret parenting plan language to interfere with the other parent’s time with the children. Discussed are ways to avoid these common traps and the unrealistic fears parents can have when their c…
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While opening a gifted box of green pencils, I noticed they were limited editon Gardening Pencils by Blackwing, leading to learning about the Essential Nutrients for Gardens and Life. The episode includes inspirational gardening quotes and an invitation to share your favorite nature or garden quotes. Related Stories (and Episodes) and Helpful Links…
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Listener Colleen writes to get advice on how to manage her emotions and not answer her co-parent’s lying emails and texts. Diane & Rick discuss the importance of becoming desensitized to the other parent’s trigger attempts. As well as practice resisting the temptation to respond as a coping skill for the anxiety. Also discussed are strategies to be…
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In this episode, we reflect on the reason for the holiday season and have fun sharing the hilarity of the mad rush -- much like the rush of wrapping up the gardening season with a few late-season tips. Then comes the Long Winter's Nap from gardening we enjoy. We wrap up by contemplating the Gift of Contentment. Related Stories (and Episodes) and He…
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Diane and Rick look at a conflict that on the surface might seem easy to resolve for the Non-Impossible parent. But upon further exploration, they unpack long-lasting consequences to giving in to a child’s request to stay away from school events and activities. They also discuss a new segment that will be added to the show to look at problematic pa…
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In this episode, I share the Legend of Holly and Christmas Trees. Then we chat about The Twelve Days of Christmas ending on January 6th,-- So keep your tree standing until after Little Christmas, and there are ways it repurpose it to extend the Joy. Related Stories (and Episodes) and Helpful Links: Legend of Holly & Christmas Trees Ellie’s Living C…
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Diane & Rick address Trudy’s email that asks the question, “Is it too late for me?” They discuss strategies to help a 15-year-old stuck in the crossfire of his parents’ conflict - ABOUT HIM! They also tackle the tough dilemma of the effectiveness of fighting for custody when that may be playing right into the narcissist’s playbook. Additionally, ca…
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The defense mechanisms of Honey Locust trees are similar to porcupines. We chat about fascinating trees, their benefits, and thornless varieties. Plus how the docile porcupine can be a nuisance in the garden, and ways to move them along. Related Stories (and Episodes) and Helpful Links: Honey Locust – the Porcupine of Trees Three Sisters Gardening …
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Listener Leah emails that her child is blaming her for his distress over the divorce because she “broke the vows” in her marriage to dad. Diane & Rick know this sentiment is not coming from the child. How do you counter that kind of attack from the other parent? The hosts discuss how to talk with the child to help him understand life choices and un…
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In this episode, we chat about garden ghosts, which I rarely have anymore—leading to how to overwinter garden pots, especially those filled with perennials and woody plants. Then, I share the story of Filling Naked Pots late in the season and the glorious assortment of shade-loving deer-resistant plants that decorate my adored Mother Earth Face Pot…
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A non-impossible Facebook group contributor posts about a co-parent who refuses to communicate. Diane & Rick explore the fine line between setting an appropriate communication boundary and ghosting your co-parent. Is it about the technique or the attitude? They discuss the necessity of both. FINALLY, the digital version of our Communication Protoco…
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Giving Thanks for the Gifts of Nature and our Gardens as we delve into the holiday season teaches us not to rush things. We reflect on the beauty of the dormant landscape and treasures you can gather for winter decorating while leaving plenty for our feathered friends and other wildlife. Related Stories (and Episodes) and Helpful Links: Giving Than…
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Listener Travis asks how to manage holidays with the children when his co-parent historically makes plans on his time. He’s tired of her sabotaging every holiday, but doesn’t want the kids to be stuck in the middle. Should he set a boundary with her or let it go? Diane & Rick break it down. You’ll find instructions about this method in the I Am Non…
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It was confusing the day before Veterans Day this year; folks were off, and schools closed. It's usually observed on the actual day of November 11th. And there's a reason for that - a significance to 11-11-11. And why poppies are on the lapels on Veterans Day and in our gardens. We chat about the rich history of Veterans Day and the Significance of…
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