It's time for everyone's favorite manic pixie dream frankenstein to ditch the snooze and get all rizz'd up, 2002 style! That's right, we're reviewing May, a complicated, weird, silly, serious, strange conflagration of emotions and inputs, straight from yore and into your brain. It's Loathsome Things: the best podcast to find horror movies you might…

John and Josh review an anthology film for the very first time. Will they mess up, do a good job, or just incoherently repeat themselves? Find out on today's episode of Loathsome Things: A Podcast About Horror Movies You Don't Care About!על ידי loathsomethings

Content Warning: all the bad things.על ידי loathsomethings

Eh, what's the point.על ידי loathsomethings

We’re doing it, folks. It’s a 3-episode month and we’ve almost certainly made a mistake by going with The Virgin Spring, Last House on the Left, and Last House on the Left. O cruel world with such people in it! Here, we review the classic Swedish masterpiece about a Swedish lord, his Swedish daughter, their Swedish family, some Swedish pagans, and …

Get your dollar-store, off-brand tissues ready, because this one’s a tear-jerker! Rial and Bol are refugees of the Sudanese Civil War, trying to create a new life for themselves in the land of opportunity: slummy ol’ England! To start over, they’ll have to endure fairly mild (by American standards) interpersonal racism, run-down living conditions, …

Add this one to your watchlist of remakes that may be better than the sequel, and definitely among to top of any list of high-quality reboots. Clive Barker’s non-Hellraiser franchise is brought back around to no longer focus on the plight of white women in this stunning, complex, and challenging reframing of the classic. And here are some links to …

Be the food you want to eat! The Memento guy, the Trainspotting guy, the principle from Ferris Bueller, and a celebrity’s husband star in this off-kilter delight that dares to ask the question: what if Dances with Wolves was a wendigo movie lightly sprinkled with a Mel Brooksian soundtrack? Turns out, you might get something like this. Show up for …

Something about death’s design, a list, this time it happens backwards… who knows. Welcome to 2024, Loathsome Things style! It’s all epic action-disaster stunt sequences between bouts of really depressingly bad line delivery. Start the year off with the best horror movie podcast for people that are tired of all the other horror movie podcasts as we…

Somewhere in the Finnish reindeer wilderness, there is a mountain that is secretly the gigantic sacred grave of MFing Santa Claus. In this episode of Loathsome Things, you’ll hear us review the actions taken by a squad of rugged snow-daddies who, perhaps, receive a bit too much focus on whether or not they have sufficiently spanked their sons. What…

Content Warning: suicide and self harm You are a mountain and this is the first part of Perry Blackshear’s Monster Trilogy sees childhood chums Wyatt and Christian reunited as alcoholic adults who’ve suffered failed relationships and mental and emotional disturbances. Christian’s self-help iPod has seen him get a great job at Behemoth, where he’s r…

From the director who brought us some actually good episodes of Star Trek later in his career, this movie… it’s terrible. Bad jokes, unexciting nudity from Rebecca Balding, and one of the worst movie monsters you’ll ever see. You know that uncle or cousin of yours, the one that puts off an icky vibe? This is probably one of their favorite movies. S…

Content Warning: violence against children and by children is depicted in this film, as is violence against and by animals. This includes a scene in which an animal commits violence against a child. God is dead, welcome to beautiful Argentina! This time we reviewed a demonic possession apocalypse movie that absolutely slams. Put away your flashligh…

Content Warning: self harm Australian youths supplement their substance abuse with a fun demonic possession game. It the story secretly about substance abuse? Mental illness? Grief? Loss? White people? You tell us after listening to this podcast about horror movies. A podcast where we summarize the plot of a horror movie at you so you can decide wh…

An Etsy girl makes a go of living her best life in her childhood home in a town full of people who hate for something that she did in her childhood. Also, there’s aliens and almost zero dialogue. Will it be good? Pack yourself up a pic-a-nic basket and head on out to a loved-one’s grave and plot your sorry ass in that ancestral grass to listen to t…

Content Warning: A smidge of animal cruelty is depicted in this movie, which we describe and may/may not do vocal sound effects for… John and Josh strapped microphones to the inside of their mouths for an entire day to bring you their first full-fledged found footage film review! This little gem blends found footage with possession/exorcism, folk h…

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. What else is there to say? Content Warning: this film contains nearly as much deeply disturbing gruesome topic matter as it does wildly offensive ableism. And since it’s in the movie, it is also in the words we speak. Join us as we revel in the just amazingness that is, as one man was mis-quoted as putting it, “the mos…

Do you ever think about the town you live in? Did your ancestors live there? What did they do when they lived there? Were they bad to other people, maybe women or indigenous populations? Do you ever wonder if you are them? Has a doctor ever made you feel like you’re a buckle-hatted pilgrim wielding a knife of revelation while inducing seizures in y…

Did you know that when you forget your dreams, they get mad at you? It doesn’t matter if those are dreams of attractive young women in thin gauze, skinless bears coming for you in the closet, fake little brothers with bulgy eyes, or janitors with prosthetic limbs that fall right off. You see, when you go beyond dream’s door, the hatred doesn’t disc…

We reviewed a classic and scared John as a child and confused Josh as an adult. Imagine The Goonies, but with big naked California tits, fountains of blood, and the childhood drama of having everyone you love die. There, that’s Phantasm. Is it as simple as that? No! It’s much more confusing! Phantasm features multiple allusions to Dune, some strang…

In 1990, first-time director Francis Teri pulled together a tiny budget, a team of mostly non-actors, and some really cool practical effects to make an amazingly tasteless, uncomfortably semi-humorous, and entirely baffling horror movie about a young woman receiving an abortion against her will and her aborted fetus becoming one of the most mind-bo…

The Jo Brothers cover The Mo Brothers with this delightful jaunt down the road to a slasher commonly referred to as The Indonesia Chainsaw Massacre for entirely appropriate reasons. What starts off as torture porn then devolves into madcap mindless violence before finally metamorphosing into some really tremendous fight scenes that make the film’s …

From the New French Extremity to some old Italian Sleaze, good, clever Loathsome Things is here to make everything nice for you, our sweet, sweet babies! From the guy that mostly did hardcore porn with a splattering or horror-porn crossover films, comes a film that advanced the boundaries of gore and showed us that the most potent strains of mariju…

Content Warning: self-harm. It’s not just featured in the film, it is at the center of the film’s theme. We describe the self-harm in this episode so, you know, be careful with your emotional well-being. “Dans ma Peau” is an underappreciated body horror film that really puts the “extremity” into the New French Extremity genre. Esther is an up-and-c…

Lo, we have returned with the prophesied episode, that which much come after the others doth came. And on the third Basket Case, they wept. And it was bad. So say we all. Wait, what? Remember at the end of Basket Case 2 how after a really boggy round of lump rutting between Belial and Eve, Duane decided it was time to reconnect with his brother? No…

In the 1970s, someone thought it’d be a cool idea to mix the ideas of Tod Browning’s Freaks with a Frankenstein story genetically modified with DNA. This horror movie trades in the objectification of people that are different, women tits getting a breath of fresh air, and really cool fast-motion plant footage. We tried to be careful with our langua…

At long last, we arrive at our destination of having gotten through all that snatch with this 90s-tastic piece of something from the something-addled something of someone’s something. What am I talking about? Have I been taken over by some sort of horrific racial superiority mindset noodling its way through the ranks of the military? That’s right, …

Join us as we embark on an ultra-cosmic journey from some unknown corner of the universe all the way to a post-psychedelic and mega-starchy San Francisco with this tremendous effort in scifi/horror movie remakesmanship! Leonard Nimoy makes one of his greatest non-Star Trek appearances, a studly young Jeff Goldblum does his best Alan Alda impression…

Cease your philandering ways and listen up, kiddo, for this April we’re putting together a 1-2-3-punch comparison of bodily snatchery starting with the original maybe-Red Scare classic about creepy white people being replaced with even creepier white people in well-to-do 1950s America. Sure, that was one sentence! From the director that brought you…

Bow down and rejoice for the bountiful practical effects goodness this movie granteth! Through the files of movie production hell, The Void emerged renewed and pure for our plentiful enjoyment…eth… It’s good enough to get Josh to rethink how he grades movies for this podcast. Repent of your flesh and step through the mysterious triangle of the play…

Extreme Animal Cruelty Content Warning: this movie contains one of the single most despicable scenes of actual violence against animals either of us have likely ever seen in cinema. Kangaroos are shown being shot, struggling to escape, and slowly, painfully dying. There is a shot of a pile of severed kangaroo upper torsos that the camera lingers on…

We left all the static and background noises in this episode as an artistic attempt to recreate the movie-going experience of this nightmarish-ish experimental film from jolly ol’ Canada. We both liked it, we both hated it. It’s art, folks! For this one, you don’t necessarily need to watch it first. We spoil the whole thing, but it’s impossible to …

Content Warning: this movie depicts domestic violence, child endangerment and psycho-sexual assault Sexy tentacle aliens will fill up your holes all night long in this movie full of chunky blood, broken eggs, spilled milk, oozing jism, allusions to world politics and some of the most gut-dumping relationship trauma you’ll ever see in a horror movie…

Two chummy science buddies unlock the secrets of pseudobiology while strutting from stage left to stage right in the Frankenstein barony’s most maze-like castle and daring to ask the question “what if instead of lightning we, I don’t know, just kind of dunked stuff in big aquarium full of science tea?” This film put Hammer on the map as the Wizard …

Supernatural experimental underwater Nazi uber-soldiers (band name, called it!) rise from the waves just as Gilligan, The Skipper, and the alcoholic, porn-plastering 3rd member of the crew, Dobbs, are bringing their vacationing cargo around for a lovely time on a desert island inhabited only by Herr Professor Peter Cushing. What could go wrong? Fin…

Content Warning: The film we are about to review contains torture, suicide, deicide, public execution, themes of antisemitism, transphobia and ableism. By continuing to listen to this podcast, you expressly agree to hear blasphemous and sacrilegious statements. We’re keeping the Christ in Christmassacre by beating the Christ out of Christmas as we …

This time vosotros reviewed a low-budget euro-70s movie about knights templar-themed zombies that rise from the dead to vampire up slutty blood and ride around town on mysteriously-sourced horses. It’s wacky. It’s zany. It likes to give the audience a reason to not be sad when a character dies. Perhaps they’re creepy. Perhaps they experimented with…

After spending a year and a half NOT reviewing a Rob Zombie joint, we decided it was high time to review the robbest of all zombies, the one-thousandest of houses, the 90-minute music video interlude itself: House of 1000 Corpses. It was a delight to watch and a delight to discuss. Did we do a good job discussing it? You’s to say! We referenced a l…

Ti West absolutely plows it with this Chain Saw-esque Debbie Decimates Dallas spectacle. It’s sexy, it’s disturbing, it’s confusing, it’s thought-provoking, it’s gory, it’s schlocky, it’s… it’s just great, y’all! Every death scene is a micro-masterpiece in its own right. At first you think this is all style, no substance, and then it turns on you. …

Chloe Grace Moretz & Co did a great job of re-making Carrie in the least-interesting way possible: a technically proficient and almost flavorless retelling that lands squarely in the middle of the original and the made-for-TV movie on every front. It’s almost enough to make one sit back and ask “what do horror movie fans actually want in a reboot?”…

35 years after the original, we finally get our first Hellraiser reboot! And it’s… well, you’ll have to listen to find out what we think about it. Set in beautiful Belgrade, Massachusetts, this visually striking reimagining of the Clive Barker original focuses on addiction, betrayal, and strips of delicious human bacon. The Pascal Laugier movie we …

John and Josh watched all 10 Hellraiser movies in anticipation of David Bruckner's upcoming reboot of the franchise, and who have some things to say! Join us as we dive into one of the less-talked-about major horror movie franchises and check out the new movie, which drops Friday! Ranking the Franchise JohnJosh1.Clive Barker's Hellraiser (1987)Cliv…

“Angela Bettis! Angela Bettis! Angela Bettis!” said David Carson into the camera, and poof! She was there to provide one of the few redeeming qualities in this made-for-TV wad. Directed by the guy that directed Captain Kirk’s death and co-starring Dualla from Battlestar Galactica, this movie features Windows 98 screensaver-grade CGI a flat, lifeles…

WOW! Sissy Spacek absolutely slayed in this nutty jamboree of a high school prom horror that Piper Laurie, Nancy Allen and John Travolta all thought was a fun, over-the-top comedy when they were filming it. Is it still OK for say “slay, queen” now that someone else’s queen is dead? I’m gonna slay “Yes!” Also in this movie is William Katt’s amazing …

Boobs, silly gag humor, and the most ridiculous forms of cannibalism are just the tip of this zany masterpiece of 80s Horror-Comedy! Jackie Kong achieved greatness in this packed era of the sub-genre, making what is quite possibly the most ultimate 14-year-old boy movie possible. As a pair of wizened 14-year-old boys, ourselves, we thank her for he…

Thomas Jane, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Jason Lee, Tom Sizemore and Morgan Freeman star in this sci-fi-fantasy-horror movie about evil alien penis monsters that shoot out of your butt and the man-children gifted with the exact combination of bench-warmer X Men powers needed to stop them… or something. You know, it gets a little confusing in th…

Oh, last summer, how memorable you were! With your floppy hats, plunging necklines, and fertile youths frolicking about on sandy beaches, full of hope and possibilities. The mind that brought us Dawson’s Creek and Scream also brought us this movie, where Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Ghost Whisperer struggle through the teenage turmoils of love,…

We go on at length about this polarizing folk-slasher from the dude that wrote the screenplay for 28 Days Later. It’s very high concept and bookends Hagazussa nicely as an opposite of Saint Maud. Really, these three films have been a great leading-lady triple feature. If you wanted to listen to us spend way too much time comparing and contrasting t…

We really schatten the bed with this blutty film about how much it sucked to live with emotional trauma in the Black Plague-era Alps while being identified as any combination of a witch, heathen or Jew. Here, I’ll horn in a content warning: this episode unqualifiedly discusses rape, infanticide, cannibalism, and anti-semitism. Now that feuer of you…

Technical difficulties and illness plagued our recording of this absolute masterpiece from Rose Glass. An emotionally unwell woman with idiosyncratic religious convictions works as an in-home nurse for a sin-loving woman dying of cancer. Can they get over their differences and personal challenges to solve the murder mystery before it’s too late? No…