71. Jalmari Helander’s Rare Exports (2010)

Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast

Somewhere in the Finnish reindeer wilderness, there is a mountain that is secretly the gigantic sacred grave of MFing Santa Claus. In this episode of Loathsome Things, you’ll hear us review the actions taken by a squad of rugged snow-daddies who, perhaps, receive a bit too much focus on whether or not they have sufficiently spanked their sons. What’s more, we’ll reveal to answers to all things and we detail their adventures,including:

The Mystery of the Too-Soon-Dead Reindeer
How Old Should My Son Be Before I Give Him a Gun?
How to Shop for the Santa Antiquarian Who Already Has Everything
The Case of the Naked Codger
How to Eat Cookies for Dinner
Whatever Shall We Do with All This Dynamite?

Check out John’s first published micro-fiction in the Year Five edition of Dark Moments and Patreons, available here: and wherever ebooks are sold!