Weekly public talks recorded live at the Angel City Zen Center
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The Raw Impulse of Inspiration (Body/Mind Practice) w/ Dave Cuomo
43:30
43:30
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43:30
Dave brings us a clear and lucid roadmap to working through the mind and body in zazen, from distracted self to senseless samadhi through a recently unearthed recording of a foundational practice discussion with his old teacher, Michael Elliston. How can consciousness let go of its own consciousness? Is breath practice mortally dangerous actually? …
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The Good Prison (Sh*t Talk & Criticism) w/ Jordan Mylet
41:20
41:20
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41:20
“Would it necessarily be so bad to call out other people, to call out ourselves? What if the fact that we’re all sometimes petty, selfish, thoughtless, and cruel doesn't negate us from being people worth caring about?” - Jordan Mylet Jordan bravely wades into the muddy waters of shi*t talk and judgements in Zen. Our vows tell us to not criticize, t…
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Embodied Economics w/ Dave Cuomo
53:53
53:53
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53:53
“I don't want to fight things anymore. I’d rather just make them beautiful. If we have to do something, let's make it art.” - Dave Cuomo Dave tries to find a harmony between practiced embodiment and practical economics while sinking into the ocean of sound, being, and time. Is there an honest living waiting for us on the other side of our pretensio…
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Wonderfully Useless (Profitless Pursuit) w/ Patrick Carroll
33:20
33:20
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33:20
“You say you'd like to try to do zazen in order to become a better person. How ridiculous. How could a person ever become something better?” - Kodo Sawaki Patrick gives a passionate exhortation for Kodo Sawaki’s classic encouragement “Zazen is good for nothing.” What do we lose trying to shape our time to fit a purpose? What is the point of a profi…
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Mystically Curious (Wellness?) w/ Dave Cuomo
40:47
40:47
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40:47
“It's not that we’re trying to be better people by sticking around and helping others, it's that you’re kidding yourself if you think you can get off this wheel alone.” - Dave Cuomo Dave tries to find out if Zen is a wellness practice or a sincere spiritual practice and what the difference might or might not be. Is wellness good for you? Is Zen sup…
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Rearview Mirror Quarterbacking (Feminine & Masculine in Zen) W/ Sara Campbell
29:06
29:06
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29:06
“You are the universe experiencing itself. And you have to respect that… The way that I am is exactly the way I should be. It's not just about stripping you of the stuff that's getting in your way, but also building you up.” - Sara Campbell Sara raises some deep questions about femininity and masculinity in Zen while looking back on her own life of…
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Shake the Quake (Confidence & Certainty) w/ Dave Cuomo
48:32
48:32
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48:32
“Zen is not an established technique. It's sitting down and admitting that nobody can tell you what is right but you. No one knows the ground beneath your feet but you. Nobody can bear witness for you. And when something really shakes you, there can be a powerful moment where all of the sudden you just know one thing for certain. But it might be di…
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Controlled Demolition (Anger) w/ Chris Arnett
31:51
31:51
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31:51
“If there is just one person in the world, he will always be neutral. If someone is very angry, but is the only person in the world, he's a little crazy.“ - Kobun Chino Chris opens up the pandoras box of trying to productively deal with anger. We get angry, we vow not to indulge it, we know we can’t wish it away. Is it wisdom, skill, or spiritual b…
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You are Invited (Harmony & Discord) w/ Dave Cuomo
37:01
37:01
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37:01
“The most destabilizing thing I know is trying to impose harmony on other people. Because it always finds a way to explode. Everything finds a way to come out.” - Dave Cuomo Dave looks into harmony and discord, and whether trying to all just get along means suppressing our unruly little individualities (as much of our teachings and training seem to…
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Revenge Fantasy #3 (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Samm
39:36
39:36
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39:36
“Revenge fantasy #3: Live a satisfactory life. Rescue from the rubble what I still love about Buddhism…” - Samm Samm brings us the unvarnished story of what she’s doing and why she’s here as a second generation Zennie growing up in Buddhist America; a story of snake oil salesmen, tyrants, a revenge best served warm, and a Buddhism that somehow surv…
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Spiritual Security (Spacetime & Community) w/ Dave Cuomo
41:50
41:50
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41:50
“If you don't want a boss, don't need a boss. If you don't like your country, be a better one.” - Dave Cuomo Dave takes us out to the odd intersection where the warm fuzzies of scrappy boot strap community organizing meet the wild and wonderful mysticisms of space, time, and being. Can all that trippy transcendent brain candy of Zen philosophy help…
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Holy High (Intoxicants) w/ Patrick Carroll
38:54
38:54
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38:54
“Let it run. Let your mind go. Let it wear itself out like a kid running around going crazy while their parents say, ‘They’ll sleep good tonight.’”- Patrick Carroll Patrick draws on the full education of his bartending certificate and his sobriety chips to sort through our most intoxicating impulses with a deeply person talk on the 5th precept - no…
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I Blame God (Regret & Responsibility) w/ Dave Cuomo
41:31
41:31
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41:31
“I have no self. I'm fully responsible for everything. I can't control anything. Also I'll do better next time. Also we don't technically believe in time...” - Dave Cuomo Do we need to change the world, or do we need to change ourselves? Dave tries to figure out if Buddhism is advocating for supreme personal responsibility, or ultimate social accou…
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Pop! (Music, Sound, and Consciousness) w/ Robert Holliday
36:52
36:52
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36:52
“If you dislike a sound, listen to it again. If you still dislike it, listen to it again. If you dislike that, listen to it again. And if you like something, listen to it again. If you still like it, listen to it again…” - Robert Holliday Robert demonstrates how creativity can lead to realization in an autobiography of deconstructing himself throug…
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Win/Win/Win (Spiritual Attainments) w/ Dave Cuomo
45:45
45:45
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45:45
“Don't sell yourself short. It's been done by lesser people than you. It might've even been done by you when you weren't paying attention and didn't count it.” - Dave Cuomo Dave takes a nitty gritty bare bones look at spiritual attainments in Buddhism while trying to find out where Zen gets it credibility from, whether we can trust them on that, an…
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Little Awakenings (Stuckness) w/ Jitsujo Gauthier
34:10
34:10
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34:10
“Just living my life has a very big effect on the planet, there's a cost to me living my life. And, I still belong here. I have just as much right to belong here as the crickets, and greedy politicians, or righteous beautiful people.” - Jitsujo Gauthier Jitsujo helps us find a way through the stuckness of the internalized hierarchies that can both …
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Resting Bodhi Face (No Pressure) w/ Sara Campbell
31:23
31:23
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31:23
“We're not here to be martyrs, we’re not here to take care of others at our own expense. The more I respect myself, the more I can support and give to others.” - Sara Campbell Sara tries to find out what it takes to find contentment in any weather. Do we owe it to the world to be pleasant people, and if not can our bs be at least entertaining? Are …
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A Magnanimous Mess (Conflict & Zen) w/ Dave Cuomo
41:16
41:16
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41:16
“Shitsticks become dirty to clean us. If these are not Buddhas, what is?“ - Shundo Aoyama After a messy month of his own, Dave gives us a Zen (and personal) look at conflict in practice, how it happens, whether it’s a problem, and how to work with it in meditation and maybe even with other people. Can we meditate arguments away? Is there a healthy …
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Reverently Rogue w/ Gyokei Yokoyama
39:02
39:02
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39:02
“The dissidents, the ones who disagree, the most eccentric figures… in the world where Soto Zen teaching is alive, these figures become the leadership.” - Gyokei Yokoyama Gyokei has an unfortunate incident at his temple and takes the opportunity to contemplate his life choices, question entanglements, questions the tradition, and give us a little d…
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The Angry Cloud Diaries (Monastery Report pt 2) w/ Dave Cuomo
48:43
48:43
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48:43
“Roshi said, go outside and look at the moon and I promise you, you will be enlightened. but I looked tonight and there was no moon. What’s so wrong with us the way we are, Roshi? an angry cloud wants to know” - Angry Cloud Dave gives us a raw and honest report on his personal experience at the monastery over the Spring. Does Zen inherently breed c…
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The Corpse of Wisdom (Monastery Report pt 1) w/ Dave Cuomo
43:27
43:27
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43:27
“If we want to be true to the tradition of Zen, what were the ancients doing? They were throwing away tradition and recreating it for their time and place. And it worked gangbusters.” - Dave Cuomo Dave returns home from his final round of monastery training with a few thoughts on this whole Zen thing (and a two parter of a talk). This week! The his…
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"There's an very easy way to become a Buddha. Stop doing things wrong.” - Dogen Muhō, Former longtime abbot of Antaiji Monastery (home temple of Kodo Sawaki), treats us to a talk about best practices for farming students and the self, and why zazen alone might not be the answer to Zen. Do each of us really create the whole universe, and if so, how …
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A Shorter Conversation (Arguments & Conflict) w/ Emily Eslami
34:08
34:08
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34:08
“One of the hardest things about being human is that you have to be with other human beings.” - Emily Eslami In a particularly divided year, in a particularly divisive culture, Emily tackles the uncomfortableness of living with other human beings, and how to manage argument and conflict as a practice all their own. When should we speak up and when …
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Don’t Worry, It Gets Worse w/ Corey Warner
29:43
29:43
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29:43
“Illness vanishes. Stress vanishes. Depression vanishes. So where do they go? Don't worry. If you want, you can pull them back at any moment.“ - Gary Shinshin Wick Corey gets a bad diagnosis and gets inspired to give us some Zen teachings on sickness - how to deal with it, how to view it, and how to work with it as practice. Can we meditate the pai…
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Goodness Shattered w/ Dave Cuomo
32:21
32:21
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32:21
“It freaks me out to even think about ordaining someone whose goodness hasn't been shattered.” - Gyokei Yokoyama First, we learn to be good. Then we have that goodness shattered. And then, when we stop trying to do anything, the true goodness can shine through. Dave walks us through Baizhang’s three teachings to try to find out if we are inherently…
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Gnarly Fields of Chill (Twisted Karma) w/ Jordan Mylet
40:31
40:31
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40:31
“Be nice to yourself, include yourself in that ancient twisted karma, allow for the inevitability of people just being people and how irritating that is, but then also how beautiful it is too.“ - Jordan Mylet Jordan takes us on a guided tour of our ancient twisted karma - what it is, where it comes from, and what the hell we’re supposed to do with …
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Barefoot & Drinking (Poetry Corner) w/ Henry Zander
25:18
25:18
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25:18
“Westerners like to conquer mountains. Easterners like to contemplate them. As for me, I like to taste them” - Santoka Taneda Henry brings us a highly entertaining poetry hour as we follow the the lives and words of two Buddhist poets; Miyazawa Kenji trying to help the masses one annoyed farmer at a time, and Santoka Kenji picking himself up from a…
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The Lighter Side of Darkness (Story Time) w/ Dave Cuomo
47:13
47:13
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47:13
“We are the lonely all together. All together, we’re all alone.” - John Prine Dave indulges us in a little story time while also indulging in some explananing of how koans work with a classic tale of dharma drama, jealous rivalries, and onomatopoetic poetry. What should we ask in practice discussion when we don’t know what to say? Can we find a saf…
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The Shadow of Happiness (The 5 Powers) w/ Sara Campbell
32:42
32:42
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32:42
“I've seen too much, man. I know what's out there. And it's not all bad. And it's also not all good.” - Sara Campbell Sara revels in the nightmare of a beautiful spring evening, the fragility of the daffodils, the darkness of the rain, and the five powers that can turn that nightmare into a perfectly present dream. How do we remember to notice the …
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You Are the Problem w/ Emily Eslami
39:11
39:11
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39:11
“When the problem is a part of you, there is no problem, because you are the problem itself.” - Shunryu Suzuki Emily brings us a meditation on problems, problem solving, and all the machinations, rationalizations, and somersaults we do to try to prove that our problems are somewhere outside of ourselves, and then what happens when we start to point…
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Lost & Found (Meaning & Purpose) w/ Dave Cuomo
41:41
41:41
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41:41
“It’s not an attainment, it’s a lament.” - Dave Cuomo Dave tries to figure out his purpose and articulate what meaning in Zen is while trying to give a talk in a park with threatening geese and impending rain on a retreat not going entirely to plan. What are the stages of meaning making and how do we rate? Is Dave’s level as off the charts as he cl…
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An Awesome Group of Weirdos (The Fruits of Zazen) w/ Sara Campbell
40:18
40:18
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40:18
“The biggest change for me is to stop feeling like I should have it all figured out. And stop believing that anyone else does; and finding it a deep red flag if they claim to.” - Sara Campbell Sara marks her five year anniversary with ACZC by taking stock and admitting how maybe all this goalless practice has changed her for the better, while the s…
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Yeah, No (The ❤️ Sutra) w/ Dave Cuomo
34:25
34:25
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34:25
“If somebody is an a-hole, they must be going through something tough. And they’re making it as bad or worse for themselves as they are for anyone they're hurting. So they deserve just as much care as anybody else suffering from the what they're dealing out. That's a hard truth I want to wrestle with. Because I believe it, but I'm not always instin…
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The Winning Ticket (Spiritual Bypassing) w/ Tanya Orlov
30:15
30:15
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30:15
“The winning ticket, the unfortunate truth, is that you have to take a good look at your bullsh*t before you can get to the good stuff.” - Tanya Orlov Tanya brings us some wise warnings about our purported wisdoms with an in depth look at spiritual bypassing; what it is, how to know when we’re doing it, and how it might be holding us back from the …
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Mutual Conspiracy (Sonic Meditations) w/ Robert Holliday
34:56
34:56
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34:56
“There's no reason sound can't be appreciated wherever you're at. It's always there. We think something has to be dramatic or highly structured, but there's always structures to find in our minds. We have that freedom in our own being to be able to see with what's there, with what's here, with what's happening.” - Robert Holliday Robert explores th…
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Your Kindness & Your Hatefulness (See y’all soon) w/ Dave Cuomo
40:28
40:28
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40:28
“Can we keep the goofy light heartedness of being rebel antagonists, along side the sincerity of really caring? Can we care and be funny at the same time? And you know what I've seen us do? Exactly that. And that delights me. Thank you everybody.” - Dave Cuomo Dave gives us his “See Y’all Soon” address before hungry ghosting us for the Spring with …
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Rote Reverence (Rituals) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama
37:57
37:57
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37:57
“First, there's ‘the thing that I want to do.’ They strip that away completely. Then when we’re hollow and empty they come back and ask, ‘So now, what do you really, really want?’” - Gyokei Yokoyama Gyokei pulls back the curtain on the rituals and forms of Zen, the true koan of the Soto School, to find out if there's any meaning in the method or ma…
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The Why Question w/ Jitsujo Gauthier
37:17
37:17
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37:17
“In order to learn something new, first you have to be confused about it. If you aren't confused about it, you already know what it is and then you're not learning anything.” - Jitsujo Gauthier Great sangha friend Jitusjo brings us hard won personal tips and tricks for navigating the confusion and fear of the inner world, and the discomfort we migh…
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A Clever Game (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Pedro Peres
35:34
35:34
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35:34
“Whatever goals you accomplish, you're still the same. There's still that same emptiness - there's still something missing. There's always going to be something missing. And that's okay.” - Pedro Peres Long time sangha friend Pedro Peres regales us with the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here - from early forays into beating koans at their o…
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F#@k Around and Find Out (Prajna (Wisdom)) w/ Dave Cuomo
45:52
45:52
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“Think for yourselves. Be unruly. Challenge what we tell you, Challenge what I think I know about how this place should work. That’s what all the old teachings tell us to do - even if it is kind of inconvenient to have a room full of people thinking for themselves when you’re trying to run a Zen Center.” - Dave Cuomo In the final installment of his…
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The Messy Middle (The Curse of Self Awareness) w/ Heather Ross
32:32
32:32
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32:32
“You can't sit motionless for 30 minutes without learning something, and when that happens day after day, we learn and we learn. Like it or not, we learn.” - Heather Ross Heather opens up the Pandora’s Box of zazen and takes a hard and healing look at the hidden aspects of ourselves that inevitably unhide themselves through regular sitting. How do …
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Dharmically Unqualified (Dharma Combat) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama
37:00
37:00
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37:00
“Liberation means being liberated from the inclination to ignore our flaws - to dismiss them, hide them, divert or disguise them.“ - Gyokei Yokoyama Gyokei unravels the deeper meaning of Dharma Combat on the eve of ACZC’s first ever attempt at such a ceremony. What qualifies someone to be a Zen teacher? Is a vow to liberate all beings actually good…
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Liberty’s Laments (Year of the Wood Dragon) w/ Dave Cuomo
36:45
36:45
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“There's a freedom, a pit, a dropping off into something you don't know and don't necessarily trust… It takes a strange kind of trust to let go of everything you’ve known as you.” - Dave Cuomo Dave celebrates the year of the wood dragon with evocative writings on dragons, frogs, and earthworms singing through the hollow trees of you and me. What ca…
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A Subtle Sober Magic (Zazen) w/ Gyokei Yokoyama
45:02
45:02
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“There's some discomfort there, and there's some comfort there. And when you let that go… it's quite a revolution.” - Gyokei Yokoyama Gyokei gives us fully fleshed out, bare bones official Soto Zen explanations and instructions for zazen - body, breath, and mind. How does it work? How much should it hurt? Are Westerners doing it right? Is Japan doi…
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A Seat at the Table (Meditation) w/ Dave Cuomo
54:34
54:34
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“Probably the best we can train for is to get a seat at the table where our decisions are made; which is not where we're usually hanging out. Usually we’re hanging out after the fact writing propaganda to justify what we just did.” - Dave Cuomo In the penultimate episode to our paramita series, Dave takes on the big one for Zen - meditation (aka Ze…
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The Problem With Happiness (What Am I Doing Here??) w/ Patrick Carroll
29:52
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“There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer” - Gertrude Stein Patrick brings us the timeless tale of a Catholic kid trading his faith for the freedom of not quite knowing what the h*ll he’s doing. Along the way we get 30 years worth of ironic wisdom bombs, gleaned from a myriad of li…
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Effortless Efforts (Energy & Depression) w/ Dave Cuomo
43:51
43:51
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43:51
“It includes everything, no matter what. Even being depressed is part of it. That's why I don’t backslide like I used to anymore; because even if I do, I now know for certain that has weight and that's important too.” - Dave Cuomo Dave takes an honest look at energy, the much lauded and lamented fourth paramita, along with all the reasons such thin…
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Sorrowful Splendor w/ Sara Campbell
31:03
31:03
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31:03
“It’s less, yes it must be this way, and more, let's go this way together.” - Sara Campbell Sara reflects on the holidays and turns the page on a new year with a simple but endless question, how do we live when we know we’re going to die? Also, what to do when you suddenly realize you’ve gone from wacky aunt to wacky family matriarch without even h…
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A Long Loving Look Into the Darkness w/ Dave Cuomo
47:55
47:55
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47:55
“All the philosophies I grew up on were always trying to take me toward the light - be a good person, know what's going on, know how to handle things… It was always about happiness and positivity. Thats what led me here. That was the problem.” - Dave Cuomo Dave rings in the New Year with an unflinching dive into darkness - what it means in Zen, why…
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Tantrum of the Tathagata (Story Time)
36:27
36:27
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36:27
“Maybe we don’t need take everything as gospel, or maybe taking things as gospel doesn’t always mean what we want it to mean” - Dave Cuomo Dave brings us a special podcast exclusive Holiday Story Time, with a dramatic reading of a somewhat bananas Buddhist folktale about a young king and his flying elephant trying to get good at giving. It’s a stor…
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