Clause and Effect (0/52): The First Watch

Clause and Effect

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Andrew Stein: Living with Lions 46:39

לפני 11 ימים46:39

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46:39

“If we march into that village and we start trying to persecute people for using poison, something that's very illegal, nobody's going to talk to us. We're not going to find out where the poison came from. We're not going to be able to shut anything down. We should take the approach that people are using poison because they're desperate, because they see no other alternative.” – Andrew Stein Andrew Stein is a wildlife ecologist who spent the past 25 years studying human carnivore conflict from African wild dogs and lions in Kenya and Botswana to leopards and hyenas in Namibia. His work has long focused on finding ways for people and predators to coexist. He is the founder of CLAWS , an organization based in Botswana that's working at the intersection of cutting-edge wildlife research and community driven conservation. Since its start in 2014 and official launch as an NGO in 2020, CLAWS has been pioneering science-based, tech-forward strategies to reduce conflict between people and carnivores. By collaborating closely with local communities, especially traditional cattle herders, CLAWS supports both species conservation and rural livelihoods—making coexistence not just possible, but sustainable.…

לפני 6 שנים 1:27:54

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Cobbled together from scraps of barely usable audio comes our first ever watch of the Santa Clause 3. This was meant to be watched alongside the movie, as is the bonus for our 52nd watch. Pick your poison, I guess. I wouldn't expect you to want to watch this movie twice in a row. Hear us groan at reindeer farts, laugh at jokes about Canada, and gasp in awe at the Santa plane for the very first time. Oh, how stupid we were.

55 פרקים

#Comedy #Clause And Effect

Clause and Effect (0/52): The First Watch

Clause and Effect

published לפני 6 שנים

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MP3•בית הפרקים

55 פרקים

#Comedy #Clause And Effect

כל הפרקים

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Clause and Effect (52 and a half/52): The Fifty-twoth Watch 1:32:54

לפני 6 years1:32:54

1:32:54

The final Christmas bonus, wrapped up nicely and tucked underneath the tree. This track is meant to be played alongside the movie, as is the other bonus for our first watch. You don't have to listen to both right away and honestly you really shouldn't, so just choose whichever suits your fancy. This is it. The last time the three of us will watch this movie together. Come join us as we cheer for the last reindeer fart, laugh at sweep elf for the last time, and tear up at the thought of never seeing Bud or the Santa plane ever again.…

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Clause and Effect (0/52): The First Watch 1:27:54

לפני 6 years1:27:54

1:27:54

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Clause and Effect (53/52): Taking Up the Santle 1:07:31

לפני 6 years1:07:31

1:07:31

Just in time for Christmas, as promised. This week we didn't watch The Santa Clause 3. That's cause for celebration in and of itself, but that's not all. Instead, we watched both the first and second movies in the trilogy, and we were pleasantly surprised. Join us in our unpacking of the complex themes of the original Santa Clause, including child rebellion, brainwashing, and elves (with attitude). Furthermore, we tackle the slightly less complex themes of the second film, such as awkward dates, anti-social teachers, and the dangers of letting incompetent people do anything involving robotics. Your homework this week is to have a good Christmas, or whatever you celebrate this time of year.…

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Clause and Effect (Finale/52): The Last Reindeer Fart 39:05

לפני 6 years39:05

39:05

We have slain the movie, though we are the ones who were really defeated. It doesn't take long to shift into after-party mode as John and Jacob discuss their memories of the podcast while Ted searches for an obscure piece of lost media for almost 15 minutes! Other topics of the night include Tim Allen green-screened into footage of the movie 2012, as well as prophetic dreams of Jerry Seinfeld. Your final homework: -Help Ted find an episode of an obscure Sci Fi show featuring an entity that lives in your memories. Tweet @clausecast if you find it. -Google "Pyrrhic victory" -Stay tuned for the wave of bonus episodes coming at you soon!…

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Clause and Effect (51/52): Non-Descript Non-Toxic Mint Substance 44:31

לפני 6 years44:31

44:31

Not even the director knows what it is. Yes, that's right. We watched with the director's commentary track this time. A lot of our theories were proven, and a lot of others were disproven. Also, we learn a lot about the production of the film itself, some of which we'd really rather not have learned. Homework this week: -Write Google and force them to add "disproven" to their auto-correct dictionary. -Keep an eye out for any snow blankets outside your window. They're common this time of year.…

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Clause and Effect (50/52): The North Pole Emu War 35:59

לפני 6 years35:59

35:59

Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. With only three weeks left until their freedom, the gang uses Christmas as an excuse to talk about the human condition. Again. Also, we devise a Santa Clause themed racer in which you can play as an affront to God and compare Jack Frost's hyper-capitalist society to a game of Mario Party. Homework this week: -Learn about the Emu War in preparation for our 86th anniversary celebration next week.…

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Clause and Effect (49/52): Reindeer, I Guess 38:34

לפני 6 years38:34

38:34

Real men eat mammoth, however. It's Ted's turn to blow the lid off the movie this week, and blow he does. Also, things get a little dark with the discovery of an article that tells us a little more about the production of the first movie, as well as a discussion about the butterfly effect and how invoking the Escape Clause may prove fatal. Homework this week: -Import a wooly mammoth. You can probably find one on eBay. -Recut the entire movie again but this time only using green screen footage. -Don't.…

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Clause and Effect (48/52): How It's Made: Elves 35:00

לפני 6 years35:00

35:00

Please do not contact Adam Sandler. Some slight audio issues this episode with Jacob's mic, but that won't stop us from once again delving into the manufacturing process of elves, as well as puzzling over the identity of an elf who is named but not ever seen. Also, we amuse ourselves with imagining a version of the movie in which Curtis is removed. Forcibly. Jacob's """""weekly""""" shitpost: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U868E5DqIkA Homework: -Count Santa's Teeth. We've joked about it for far to long. It's time to bite the bullet. -Come up with a name for our movie concept involving an incompetent Santa and a very sneaky elf.…

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Clause and Effect (47/52): Don't Call Me Shirley 48:59

לפני 6 years48:59

48:59

You may, however, call a doctor. I don't feel so good. This week we watched Airplane! Time to make the least fair comparison between two movies that has probably ever been made. Mostly, we just use the comedic successes of one movie to describe the failings of the other. Also, we discuss the business policies of Bad Future Scott Calvin and blow the lid off the biggest conspiracy yet. Homework for this week: -Design Jack Frost's improvised Gundam. -Let us know: How many years would it take for society to not care that Santa's real? -Uncover more evidence that Tim Allen is secretly an ape man.…

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Clause and Effect (46/52): Chair Sleep Rank - S 24:52

לפני 6 years24:52

24:52

Whatever the opposite of ASMR is, this episode has it. This week we discuss the automatic targeting systems inherent to sleep deities and elves with hammers, as well as the Christmas Creep. No, not that type of creep. Also, Ted proposes the idea of writing more fan fiction, much to the dismay of John. All the while, Jacob clicks his god damned pen into the microphone as a replacement for actual conversation and I'm leaving it all in, dammit. Homework for this week: - Confiscate Jacob's pens. All of them. - Don't write fan fiction. - Let us know what your favorite Halloween candy is, and we will do absolutely nothing with this newfound information.…

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Clause and Effect (45/52): There's A Plane Outside 29:01

לפני 6 years29:01

29:01

See you in Helf. Every so often we have one of those episodes where none of us can think of anything to talk about. This is not one of those times, yet a certain someone managed to be so distracted by the plane outside his window that it inevitably distracted all three of us. Not naming any names, but he knows what he did. Other topics of conversation include a nihilistic view of Santa's future workloads and declaring Scott Calvin legally dead. Homework for this week: -Have a fun and safe Halloween. Bonus points for dressing as Jack Frost. -Calculate how many Buds it would take to: a.) power the Atlas V rocket b.) power the Large Hadron Collider Show all work.…

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Clause and Effect (44/52): The Hell That Is Living As Mr. Bean 39:49

לפני 6 years39:49

39:49

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. This week, the gang is pretty low-energy. This, of course, means that the usual happens and that by the end John is practically screaming at Jacob while Ted can't stop laughing. In between, be sure not to miss our discussion of this movie as a biblical allegory, followed by a deep dive into the miserable lives of Santa's in-laws. It's sure to be a fun time for all involved! Homework for this week: -Read Paradise Lost, or at least SparkNotes it, then write down all similarities between Jack Frost and Lucifer.…

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Clause and Effect (43/52): Roll To Dodge Hippo 47:41

לפני 7 years47:41

47:41

Alternate titles for this week's episode include: The Pilot is the Hippo 5 Seconds until the Hippo Impacts the Plane "It Follows" but it's a Hippo The Hippo Annihilates Tim Allen In case it wasn't obvious, we didn't make good on our promise to watch Airplane, nor do we make good on our promise to actually stay on topic for once. This episode does, however, serve as a handy guide for all the reasons to never ever approach a hippopotamus, let alone desire one for Christmas. Homework for this week: -Make a ROM Hack of Ace Attorney in which you must prove the niceness of children that are framed to be naughty. -Do some research on hippos. Knowing is half the battle.…

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Clause and Effect (42/52): Mr. Frost's Wild Slide 36:27

לפני 7 years36:27

36:27

I want to get off. Simultaneously the shortest episode and also the longest stinger we've ever had, this week's episode weighs heavy on us. Despite our boredom with the bland attempts at """humor""" present in the movie, we still find ways to entertain ourselves with discussions of airplanes and human whack-a-mole machines. Homework this week: -Watch Airplane, the superior comedy.…

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Clause and Effect (41/52): Butt-like Doors, Inc. 40:02

לפני 7 years40:02

40:02

"We didn't like the old one, so it's not real anymore." -line from the commentary track for The Santa Clause 3?. We gave Santa the Griswald treatment, placing him in situations that would break a mortal man. Also, we give the part of Jack Frost to a rodent. All this, and more, on tonight's Clause & Effect. Homework this week: -Make a silent movie out of scenes from The Santa Clause 3 -Write the script to The Santa Clause 3? and send it to Disney. Homework for Disney: -Hire us.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (40/52): Tim Allen ga Taosenai 32:42

לפני 7 years32:42

32:42

Translator's Note: Taosenai means "plan". We watched the movie in Japanese this time around, and we played the official video game. After we're done sharing our thoughts on that, we attempt to make a Mega Man game. Somehow, this is one of our shortest episodes to date. Homework for this week: -Translate whatever it is Curtis said -Re-animate the entire movie to make it look like an anime. Actually, don't.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (39/52): The Last Cardboardbender 50:12

לפני 7 years50:12

50:12

Santa is in the eye of the beholder. We're officially 3/4 of the way there, so to celebrate we threw Santa Claus into Dark Souls. Again. Also, we discuss the combat potential of 270 cardboard cut-outs of Jack Frost, as well as the importance of Santa's public image in a hypothetical capitalist dystopia. Homework this week is to catch the Big Santa Race this Saturday, September 22nd (start time to be decided) and to follow @Clausecast on Twitter to stay on top of updates, assuming you somehow haven't done that already.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (38/52): I Will Become A Mop 33:17

לפני 7 years33:17

33:17

It's like Animorphs. But for mops. It's a brief, yet focused episode this week, as the three of us start by discussing the state of Tim Allen, the human, the person. Afterwards, a discussion about a mystery horse gets almost completely dropped in favor of something far, far more stupid. This is our life. This is the work of the Santa Clause 3. Homework for this week: - Sign this petition; https://www.change.org/p/tim-allen-remove-the-santa-clause-3-the-escape-clause-from-the-official-santa-clause-movie-canon…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (37/52): Phase 25 is Zombies 34:43

לפני 7 years34:43

34:43

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. It's a late recording for the three of us, so we're all in the mindset of wanting to end things quickly. What this leads to is, of course, a rapid descent into various tangents including a Santa-borne Christmas Apocalypse scenario. Listen in wonder as we ponder such questions as "What if Scott Calvin was a time ghost?", or "Can the North Pole act as a pharmacy?", and many more. Homework for this week: - Calculate the cost of the property damage caused by Jack Frost. - Play Ghost Trick, because it's a really good game.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (36/52): Bud's Awakening 43:18

לפני 7 years43:18

43:18

Keep on dreaming, dreamer. What starts out as a discussion of John's simple, yet terrifying method of watching the movie this week, turns to places we could not have even imagined. Join us as we discuss the nature of reality within the universe of The Santa Clause, and even how it might be related to our own. Oh, and we talk about Jack Frost's singing at some point. Homework for this week: Think of silly Christmas-related song parodies that Jack Frost would sing at his show.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (35/52): An Appointment At The Shortening Office 46:55

לפני 7 years46:55

46:55

Still got your tin foil hats? Good. This week, we discuss the chaos that would ensue in a world without Santa Claus. Also we get pretty meta near the end. That's really about it. Homework this week: -Get shortened. It's the law. -Uncover the secret government conspiracy to hide the fact that Santa doesn't exist.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (34/52): That's A Lot Of Beans 40:39

לפני 7 years40:39

40:39

Achievement unlocked: Get through an entire episode without having to cut anything. It's our reindeer fart centennial, and to celebrate, we actually did our homework for once. Later, we discuss possibilities for a Burton-esque reboot of the series, a la "Alice in Wonderland." Finally, we end up several Santas deep as we once again try to make sense of the way time works in a movie for children. Homework this week: -Make your own snowman out of cotton balls and take a picture of it, then send it our way via twitter @Clausecast.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (33/52): Everyone Is Here 41:01

לפני 7 years41:01

41:01

The year is 20XX. Tonight we honorably mention a very special fighting game that may or may not exist. We honorably mention it, and can't seem to stop honorably mentioning it. All you need to know is that it all comes down to frame data. Homework this week is to calculate the exact number of beans that Tim Allen can eat, and determine whether he could consume all the beans in the closet or not.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (32/52): Little Timmy, Age 50 43:02

לפני 7 years43:02

43:02

No amount of therapy will be enough. In this episode, the heat really gets to our head. Join us as we attempt to rationalize just how incompetent the other elves must be for Curtis to be their boss. Later, witness the horror as we discover the ramifications of making a fireproof Santa. Your homework this week is to buy mint toothpaste, in preparation for Christmas.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (31/52): Chekhov's Beans 43:24

לפני 7 years43:24

43:24

Alternate title: Tim Allen Goes to the Store. Due to unforeseen circumstances involving sudden illness, we have a last minute guest this episode. We didn't even have time to think of a way to kill him off at the end. In any case, today's episode features conversation regarding objects seen in the first act and never seen ever again, though we wish they were. Also, we consider hitting everyone in the movie with a shovel. Repeatedly. Today's homework: -Edit Tim Allen being hit with a shovel into every scene in the movie. -Eat poutine. You don't have to like it, just try it.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (30/52): This Episode "Sucks" 39:12

לפני 7 years39:12

39:12

Release me from this torment, for I am Santa Claus. You can probably guess the content of this episode based on the title, but it's kind of my job to write these descriptions so here goes: Vampires, children, murderers, and butts. Make of that what you will. Homework this week is to learn the name of Tim Allen's butt double. Also play some Ocarina of Time, because that's a pretty good game.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (29/52): And There Were Bears 36:28

לפני 7 years36:28

36:28

It was not, however, freezing. We're trying to beat the heat, and the heat's winning. Things get a bit grizzly as we can bearly make it through the whole episode. Don't let that give you paws, however, because the second half of this episode might just be the best yet! Visual aid for this episode: https://twitter.com/clausecast/status/1016686644793991168 Homework for this week: -Count how many times John says he'll cut something out but then doesn't. -Define bivouac. (I wanted to change the title to "Claws and Effect" this episode but it would have messed up the feed.)…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (28/52): The Legendary Toolman 41:49

לפני 7 years41:49

41:49

A secret so secret, the scriptwriters weren't even aware of it. John is gone this week due to incidents that Jacob and Ted totally did not cause last time, and as a result a new guest is brought on to share their observations on the movie. Along the way we end up discussing the true nature of Bud and the potential for The Santa Clause 3: The Musical: Live On Stage. Homework for this week: - Wait for Amazon to deliver your resurrection stone so you don't have to do more time travel. - Get some sleep. You deserve it.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (27/52): Don't Do Time Travel 35:41

לפני 7 years35:41

35:41

I'm so tired. This episode we try to ignore our Clause fatigue by instead comparing it with a different movie, namely Shrek 4, or Shrek Forever After as it's officially known. Honestly there's not a single part of this episode where John doesn't mention Shrek 4. He just really wants to talk about Shrek 4. Homework this week: -Return to the past and undo the evil that is Shrek 4. -Maybe also not kill off your co-hosts, just as a suggestion.…

Clause and Effect

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Clause and Effect (26!!!/52): Framed For Tooth Crime 43:15

לפני 7 years43:15

43:15

***ATTENTION!*** If you missed out on the live stream Sunday, never fear! We're streaming for 2 hours every night this week on www.twitch.tv/clausecast at 8(ish)PM EST. We'll also be uploading videos of the streams to the Clause and Effect YouTube channel so all you time travelers out there can check em out. Anyway, back to the description. This week we're loose cannons who don't play by the rules, and we're cracking down. It's the halfway point and to celebrate we talk about the Tooth Fairy for a long time, as well as other movies we'd rather be watching. Also, we wrack our brains for what little knowledge about economic systems we have to discuss how Tim Allen is an allegory for socialism and try to convince ourselves that we didn't send the movie back in time from the future to torture ourselves with. This episode truly is a gift that keeps on giving. Our homework for this week: -Build yet another time machine -Watch Shrek 4 Your homework this week: -Write your congressman about making Tooth Day an actual day.…

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Clause and Effect (0/52): The First Watch