תוכן מסופק על ידי Sundae Bean. כל תוכן הפודקאסטים כולל פרקים, גרפיקה ותיאורי פודקאסטים מועלים ומסופקים ישירות על ידי Sundae Bean או שותף פלטפורמת הפודקאסט שלהם. אם אתה מאמין שמישהו משתמש ביצירה שלך המוגנת בזכויות יוצרים ללא רשותך, אתה יכול לעקוב אחר התהליך המתואר כאן https://he.player.fm/legal.
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<div class="span index">1</div> <span><a class="" data-remote="true" data-type="html" href="/series/curated-questions-conversations-celebrating-the-power-of-questions">Curated Questions: Conversations Celebrating the Power of Questions!</a></span>
Curated Questions: Conversations Celebrating the Power of Questions Hosted by Ken Woodward, Curated Questions is a thought-provoking podcast that celebrates the art and science of asking profound questions. This podcast is for curious minds who understand that the right question can unlock new perspectives and drive personal growth. What to Expect Insightful Conversations: Experts from diverse fields share their journey in mastering the craft of inquiry, revealing how it has transformed their lives and careers. Practical Techniques: Gain valuable skills to improve your questioning abilities, applicable in both personal and professional settings. Thought-Provoking Topics: Explore how questions shape leadership, personal transformation, and societal discourse. Why Listen? In an age of abundant information, Curated Questions reminds us that true wisdom lies in asking better questions. This podcast will help you: 1. Enhance critical thinking 2. Improve communication 3. Gain new perspectives on complex issues 4. Develop a nuanced understanding of the world Join Ken Woodward and his guests as they explore the transformative power of thoughtful inquiry. Curated Questions is more than just a podcast – it's an invitation to embrace curiosity, challenge assumptions, and unlock your full potential through the art of asking better questions. Subscribe now and embark on a journey to master the craft of inquiry, one question at a time. Website: CuratedQuestions.com IG/Threads/YouTube: @CuratedQuestions
תוכן מסופק על ידי Sundae Bean. כל תוכן הפודקאסטים כולל פרקים, גרפיקה ותיאורי פודקאסטים מועלים ומסופקים ישירות על ידי Sundae Bean או שותף פלטפורמת הפודקאסט שלהם. אם אתה מאמין שמישהו משתמש ביצירה שלך המוגנת בזכויות יוצרים ללא רשותך, אתה יכול לעקוב אחר התהליך המתואר כאן https://he.player.fm/legal.
תוכן מסופק על ידי Sundae Bean. כל תוכן הפודקאסטים כולל פרקים, גרפיקה ותיאורי פודקאסטים מועלים ומסופקים ישירות על ידי Sundae Bean או שותף פלטפורמת הפודקאסט שלהם. אם אתה מאמין שמישהו משתמש ביצירה שלך המוגנת בזכויות יוצרים ללא רשותך, אתה יכול לעקוב אחר התהליך המתואר כאן https://he.player.fm/legal.
Legacy. Such a heavy word to hold in your hand. But what does it actually mean? At its core, legacy is creating something that exists independently of you. And to do that, there comes a moment where – as a leader – you have to “trust.” Leaders are notorious firestarters. They light the spark and then tirelessly tend to the coals. But the tricky part comes next. And a legacy-builder knows when to train and trust another to care for your precious coals. You shift into being the leader beside the leader , breaking free to go and blaze a new fire somewhere else. Welcome to an extra special episode to celebrate an extraordinary milestone. This week, sundaebean.com turns TEN, and to help us celebrate this monumental anniversary, I’ve brought in a familiar friend: Naomi Hattaway . An expert in proactive legacy design, Naomi has shared her remarkable personal and professional wisdom with us on IN TRANSIT three times. Today, Naomi will interview me, teasing out reflections about my decade gone by and helping me etch a glimpse into what comes next. Floating high from gratitude, I can’t let this go unsaid or get buried in the content. THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart to my clients, coaches, collaborators, and listeners. You built who I am today because you gave me permission to work with you and allowed me inside your lives to share my messages. I acutely appreciate that this is an occasion that very few businesses get to commemorate, and it’s an achievement that I dedicate – in its entirety – to YOU. What You’ll Learn in this Episode: The grief of letting go Aim to cause a ripple effect vs. a viral spike Starting in the middle of your transformation When your heart delivers before you even ask The isolation of entrepreneurship The “Worthy Work” notebook Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Get the nourishment you need from me 24/7/365 through Adapt & Succeed . My all-in-one program is ready to serve you a full buffet of transformation fuel and comfort food, and I’m sitting at the bar, waiting for you. Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Year of Transformation IN TRANSIT Hub Community IN TRANSIT YouTube Channel Naomi Hattaway Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Legacy by Design with Naomi Hattaway We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript: Download Transcript Hello, it is 10 a.m. in New York, 5 p.m. in Johannesburg, and 10 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist, transformation facilitator, and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition. Now, today is a huge day because I am inviting you to celebrate with me 10 years in business. I started my company back in June 2013, and I had no idea what was ahead. In today’s episode, I wanted to take a moment to do two things that are important to me. The first is to celebrate and the second is to reflect on where I am in the process of my own ambitious transformation, and that of my company and share the learnings with you. So, I’m so excited. And to celebrate today and to make this episode extra special, I have invited Naomi Hattaway . You might recognize her from episode 297 Legacy by Design . Naomi Hattaway has recently launched Leaving Well Consulting a practice for individuals and organizations and board of directors who are in periods of transition, right? Sound familiar? She helps organizations be purposeful about the way they transfer knowledge and transition. She also creates stability for the stayers and help support those that are leaving. This woman has been a friend and contact about transitions and transformation for years. So I’m so happy to be joined by her today. Now, let me tell you, I asked her to join me, I knew what my objectives were. I wanted to celebrate and wanted to share some updates that I haven’t really shared publicly and what happened is right before we hopped on the call. I just had this huge wave of emotion come up and it was just waiting to come out right when we started. And I think what that means is that there is one, a lot to process after 10 years. But also, when you’re making a shift, you’re making a transition, there’s a lot of emotions that are maybe not processed things that you’re letting go of and things that you were looking forward toward. So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to bring you in on that conversation. It is raw, it is emotional, it is joyful. And there were some “stop the record” moments of realization for me. This episode is dedicated deep deep down from my heart, to my clients to my coaches, to my listeners who have been with me at any point during this journey of the last 10 years. I want to say THANK YOU. Because YOU have built who I am today through your permission to work with you. Through your permission to allow me to come into your life and share my messages, and listen back on what you’re learning from it. So, thank you very much, and take a look at what happened next. All right, so I had this really great idea that I was gonna bring on Naomi Hattaway to celebrate my 10th business birthday, and that is all exciting. But I am already feeling emotional, I seriously have tears in my eyes and I do not understand what’s going on. So this is exactly why Naomi is here. Because what we’re going to do is give you a glimpse of how my life has been in transition, how my business has been transition. And I want you to see really how this is amazing and wonderful and I’m so grateful, and how it’s hard. And so, you’re getting a sneak peek at it like live as I get a sneak peek of it because we got on the call and all of a sudden, I was just like, I don’t know why I’m feeling about you. So welcome, Naomi! I’ll let you do your thing and you just lead me through this. Naomi : Yeah, well first of all, celebrating is so exciting. I’m so proud of you. As you celebrate 10 years in business, you have gone through around over under all the things. So, I first just want to celebrate with you about 10 years, it’s so incredible. So, it’s interesting that you were talking about how you had this emotional response, and then you’re like, “Wait, what’s happening?” And we had already talked about this a little bit before, as we were prepping, but this card I pulled right before we got on. And it says, “Be real about where you’re at.” And I think that is so important in the process of leaving well, and inside of transitions. I know that when I’ve moved, I get the spreadsheets out and I get all ready because I can do this, I’ve done this. before. I know how to organize, I know how to structure. And then if I’m not real about where I’m at I don’t process the emotion. So I want to first commend you for also being willing to sit with the emotions. Okay, so transition is hard and I think one of the things that when I work with folks on leaving well is that we don’t name the emotion. So I’d be curious if you’re willing to dive in to just think through and I’ve got this handy little chart that we can share with folks listening about emotions, and I’ll just hold it up. I don’t know. Is that backwards? I could barely. Okay, that’s good enough right now. So, the concept is that a lot of times we go into the middle, Joy, fear, sad, but there’s so many emotions underneath. So, when you think about your transition that you’re going through personally and transitions with business, what two or three come up? Sundae : Oh, that’s a great question. So there is a sense of satisfaction that feels to be very grounded in the center of it. There’s satisfaction in what I’ve been able to do in the last 10 years now and there’s satisfaction in the shift that I’m making right now. So it’s not joy it’s some other – but it’s like this grounded word. It feels solid. There is another feeling that is there and then on the positive side is gratitude. I’m so grateful for the journey that I have behind me and the one I have ahead. And those are some of the neutral to positive emotions that are there. I think some of the negative emotions or the wobblier ones. I am really struggling with letting go of a life that I lived for a decade and that is at the same time I’m satisfied with what I’ve done , and I’m actively choosing to do what I’m doing now, and I actively am happy to go toward it. And it still means there’s a grief around letting go . Like an old identity, an old purpose. And, it doesn’t mean that letting go sounds like releasing and never having any of the strings at your fingertips again. And I don’t think that’s quite that clear cut. I think it’s more of like, letting go of a portion of that. But what do they say? There’s an expression about, if you open up your hands then they are free to catch something new. So I am not very good at not knowing. Someone who’s solution-oriented, someone who is a strategist. I like to have control over my environment, a very active agent. That’s everything that I teach. And I also know that some of the best things in my whole life that have happened are things I didn’t expect, and things that I didn’t plan. So surrender would be the other thing that’s happening right now. Not my favorite word. Is that an emotion? I think it’s a state of being. Naomi : I mean, yes. And some of the things that I was writing down as you were talking about was first, around satisfaction, I think it goes so hand in hand with being seen. And so that part of it goes back to the celebration and being able to celebrate with your community, with the folks that have been along this ride with you. They’ve seen your work, you’ve seen their work, and you’ve been all together in this, and I think there’s some tenderness – and some fragility that then comes then like, “Well, what if that goes away?” Sundae : Yes. Yes. And you know this about me there’s like this thing I have about abandonment. If I change, if I shift because I care so much about my community and my people, I worry about abandoning the people that I care about. And I was even stressed when I changed the name of my podcast from Expat Happy Hour to IN TRANSIT. I was worried, right? That people would not come along with me on the journey and feel like I left them. And obviously, there’s probably some deeper stuff going on there. Naomi : Maybe. *laughter.* Sundae: *laughter* But then how do you shift and change? When you are connected with people that you care about and that you feel in alignment with and still shift and change? And I think this is a universal topic, not a lot of people can identify with, in so many transitions. Naomi: It is and I think another piece of it too that you kind of touched on is that it’s different when you’re the one deciding. When you’re the one that is in control of, even if it feels like you’re not in control, but if you’re the one that says, “Yes, we’re doing this,” or, “Yes. I’m moving” Or, “Yes. I’m transitioning with work or projects.” It has a whole different ownership and responsibility and accountability than when someone else made the decision for you. And so I think regardless of what kind of transition, it is being able to settle in with that responsibility is really powerful. I think that when you talk about letting go, also looking back, I’d be curious if this is something you can answer and maybe it’s just a reflection question but what do you know to be true about the culture and the container that you have put into place over the last 10 years that has nothing to do with whether your thread is still connected in the same way? How can I hear that question? Is it like my contribution? Naomi : It could be your contribution. It’s about what can you look back on and know that’s still true even if you are not still in it in the same way. Sundae : That question actually brings me joy because I think about the individual women that I’ve been able to work with and the impact that it has had on their lives, like a domino effect. I’ve had partners email me or WhatsApp me afterwards, and say, “I just want to say thank you for the work that you did with my partner,” right? Naomi : That’s amazing. Sundae: So that is pretty awesome. I’ve had that conversation with my boys actually, we always joke about the amount of views or downloads I get on YouTube compared to like, when the cat gets scared by a cucumber, right? And they’re like, “ So Mom, you know, you’re happy when you get a couple thousand people listen to a podcast. Meanwhile, there’s a cat scared by a cucumber, that’s viral, and it’s got millions, ” you know? And I said to my boys, I’m like, “No, I’m not making a viral impact in people’s lives. ” But honestly, when I breathe my last breath, I know that there have been people because of our collaboration, because of them saying “yes” to themselves and then saying “yes” to our us collaboration that their life is significantly different and that is something that is so meaningful. So meaningful. And I think when I say that I feel my throat closing a little bit because I think it ties in a little bit to the shift that I’m in right now, where the work that I’m doing more is not that like deep intimate transformative personal I’ll shift, it’s in other ways. So I think there’s a little bit of a grief there of not getting to be able to be doing that deep deep work. It’s not that the work I’m doing isn’t equally important, it’s just in different ways. So that’s one thing. So I feel really, really joyful about that there are women who are making their own money because of the work that we did together. I love that people have now become coaches because of the work that we’ve done together. I love that people are creating better boundaries in their life or that people are just being better humans to their partners. So I guess I can celebrate that. I think that’s pretty awesome. Naomi : Well and thinking about the cat and the cucumber and the viralness of it, viral is a spike, it’s a one time thing. Your impact has been a ripple effect. And we know like if you skip a rock and water, it ripples out and that change, you may know from partners calling you afterwards and saying, “Thank you so much for that work that you did with my person,” you may know some of that, but there’s also this beautiful legacy that you’ll never know of what happened in that person’s life because of that moment that they had with you and your work and how did that then ripple out for all of their 100 years of legacy. Sundae : I have a story that I hold onto really closely. I had someone that worked with for a Year of Transformation and just checked in to say, “Hey, how you doing? It’s been a while.” And she said, “Actually, I’ve been battling cancer.” And she said, I’m so grateful that I did Year of Transformation with you before, because of the tools that I built, I’m able to go through this differently. Naomi : Yeah. Sundae : Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? That meant everything to me so that ripple of not being there, but being there in their hardest times not super meaningful. Naomi : So, I have a question for you about trust because some of the examples you shared, they were impactful because someone trusted you and the work that you had built and your 10 years of your impact and all those things. So they said, “yes” to you. How are you feeling about trusting your “yes?” Your own “yes” to you. Sundae : If I’m really transparent my own development journey has been a shift from seeking outside validation to trust. If I get the best grade in the class, I trust I know enough. If I win the award, I trust this is good, right? So I’m very conscious of the fact that I was in a default pattern of doing that not consciously, right? And then along the way, I became aware of that. So, conscious and now I am still very much in that, I would even call it a battle of trusting, “This is good enough.” And I actually think I like I started building that over the years with my business because I would put something out in the world like a blog or a podcast and you don’t know how it lands and maybe you don’t even get very many downloads or likes or whatever and so you have to just own it in your body. “Is that good enough quality?” Not whether people like it or not, “Was it good enough?” And so I had to teach myself that I need to decide what is “good enough” for me, right? And not always seek that outside validation. And that’s an ongoing journey for sure. Naomi : Yeah. The, “What’s good enough?” And I also think there’s a component for all of us around, “What’s enough? ” And the reason I ask you that question about trusting your own “yes” for yourself, is that I feel like especially when we build things that mean a lot for us that then also have a ripple effect. I feel like knowing you and knowing the work that you’ve done it was so beneficial for you and your close circle of work and impact. And then you realized, “Oh my gosh This is actually exponentially huge for so many other people.” It can shift the way that we look at it to then what’s next “yes.” And so you being in this transition personally with your family and about who’s earning how much money? Who’s taking a rest? Who’s going to lean into different work patterns and habits and realities? That, in addition to your business and saying “yes” to what’s next. And especially when you talk about being a planner and structured and all of the things. Sundae : So let me just share a little bit behind the scenes on the “yes” to “what’s next?” Because not everybody knows about this. Some of it is also quite new. And about being able to plan. Really interesting is on my ninth business anniversary, I was in South Africa, my life looked completely different. I was in South Africa, I was having a glass of wine and I was talking to my husband about how proud I was of what I was able to build in the nine years of my company. I did the thing I never knew I could, and then I was able to do it. In terms of my community groups, revenue, that sort of thing. And I talked about what I was so grateful for and things that I was forced to learn that I never would have learned, about podcasting and social media and all those things. And then I also reflected on what it was missing. And I think it was also driven by COVID. I had been working virtually for nine years. Of course, I had client things in person from time to time but on some levels, very isolated in West Africa, in South Africa, and I literally worked in my garage. So how much more Isolated can you get it? It was actually a really fancy thing, but sounds better when I complain about it like that. And I talked about how I missed being in a team. I missed actually not having control over everything. I missed not having to set the topic tone all the time. I wanted someone else to throw content at me, I wasn’t ready for. Or help me understand topics that I hadn’t thought about exploring myself. And so I was talking about the things I missed. And my husband pulls his phone out of his pocket and he goes, “Hey, I saw this today and I thought of you.” And I read the description and it was for a global role in a company in Switzerland. And I read it and I just laughed out loud because it was exactly the thing that I said I missed and what I was wanting to build, actually, for my clients, as I move forward. And it was the weirdest thing because a year before that, my eighth anniversary, I was like, “I will never ever work again in an organization.” I was like, “Nope, never gonna do that.” And so one thing led to the next. The way I looked at it, from an entrepreneurial perspective is I got a client contract and does it matter whether it goes on my business tax or my personal tax. I said “yes” to a project, let’s say to a role where I was able to do exactly – actually it turned out to be more than what I wanted. And it was that environment that I wanted to be in and I felt so grateful. So I said “yes” to that. But what I didn’t know was coming was I didn’t know that there would be more offered to me where I would be doing more with organizational transformation. Where I would be asked to step up as a leader. Where I would take on interim roles. Having to live the leadership principles that I’ve been working with people for years, right? And what I didn’t know is that my partner at the same time would be in a process of reflection transformation and which would also shift how we show up and what we do. So these are things I didn’t see coming and I just feel so grateful because before my heart even had a chance to ask for it, it delivered. Naomi : Yeah. So that is so beautiful. And it also shows the really beautiful, almost the flip, Sundae, of all of the people you’ve worked for their transformation. That same community was working on your transformation without you even knowing it. Sundae : Mmm. That is so interesting. Like, they were getting me ready for what was next? Wow, I’ve never thought of it like that before. Yeah, and that also says why I’m just so grateful. And why gratitude is there and why you can see there’s that connection to my community because this is the thing. I’ve always tried to explain to my husband. I’ve said, “What I do is not a job. It’s not like I clock in at 8:00 and leave it at 17:00. It’s an expression of who I am. It’s not me showing up and doing my life’s work.” And you can challenge that and say that your work is too much part of your identity and there are legitimate challenges. And I also think, if I get the choice to show up in the world, in a way that is an expression of who I am and it does offer the best I’ve got or actually it makes me work through the things that aren’t the best that I’ve got, then how amazing is that? Naomi : Yeah. It’s really amazing. The other thing I wanted to kind of uphold for you as well, and folks that have been in your orbit for a while already know this. People that might be orbiting across this, don’t know this about you, you’ve done such a beautiful job. So I just want to honor this. You’ve done such a beautiful job of putting what you’ve had to offer and on offer in a bite-sized way, in ways that will live on forever. So that impact, this last ten years of your legacy is still there. It’s not going away. And so I think part of that like closed fistness, you’ve already worked through, it just has to process all the way through your body, of saying, “Okay, I’ve opened my hand. I’ve said, yes, to these things, I’m trusting what’s next for me is best for me and this other piece still sits next to me, where folks can access folks, can still have access to that transformational work that you’ve put together and delivered.” And that’s a big thing. I don’t know if you and I have talked about this before. I have a worthy work notebook and I actually keep it right here. It literally is just a notebook. But in it goes all the little nuggets and morsels of things that I’ve done in my life that I deem worthy. And what’s fascinating about that, it’s never the big things. It’s the stages that I speak on or the things that people would view as a job or as big, don’t end up in this. The things that end up in this is I remembered to *insert any number of things.* But maybe an introduction of I introduce this person to this person. Or I learned a lesson when someone called me out and gave me some feedback. So I just think about that for you a lot around – I mean, 10 years would be hard to fit into a worthy work notebook, but that may help as you continue writing the wave of this current transition and celebrating 10 years of noting and holding on to it for maybe five seconds longer as they flip through your mind, the really beautiful, worthy work that you’ve done. Sundae : It makes me think about what you were just talking about creating something and this idea of legacy. I spent this summer when I moved back to Switzerland. Imagine we just gave up nine years of living on the continent of Africa. I had transitioned my kids into a new language environment school, my partner was still abroad. And it was summer, gorgeous out and I locked myself up in this apartment, which of course has no air conditioning, and sweat and sweat and sweat. And I recorded behind lights, I recorded an upgraded version of my Adapt and Succeed program because I wanted something, because it was time. And been like five years and the branding had changed, and some of the things had to change. But I wanted to create something that could be independent of me and I wanted to give my Global Coaches the best possible quality product to move on. So for me, it was probably even a bad business decision or health, or family decision. But I knew in terms of enlightenment my Integrity, I was like, “I need to create this and put these tools in a way that people can digest.” And I’ve gotten at least another five years on this, right? And that’s how I sweated my way through July, half of July and August. And we were renovating, we’re moving into a house. I was starting this role. It was crazy but I knew it was the right thing to do. So that is one thing I think in terms of, it speaks a lot. And then this is maybe a good time to talk about the way I see things shifting in the next, I’m not going to say 10 years, it would be tidy to say 10 years. But let’s say in the next few years. What I want to do with my company, I want to step back physically and put myself forward in, let’s say, these tidier products. And then let my coaches do the work that they’re made to do and I’m going to say why. My work has been a labor of love and deeply connected to my life experience for the last 10 years. Understanding being in a bi-national marriage, having a bi-national family, trying to find acceptance in Switzerland. Leaving everything I built to go to West Africa, going through dramatic changes through political stuff, doing it again in South Africa. All of that was driven from a very personal experience and I poured that into what I was doing. And then at one point, I realized that is what I had in me for that. I’ve now brought into the world. And there’s something else brewing. That’s a little bit where Wisdom Fusion was coming in. There’s something new that’s coming and it’s building, but I need to also disengage a little, to be able to build this next thing. And my coaches are perfect to step into that space because they’re on fire for this. There in that deep creating space like I was three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, years ago. They’re pouring their lives into third-culture kids, to bi-lingual relationships, etc, etc. And all kinds of transitions around midlife, and menopause, and divorce. And they’ve got that fire in their belly for it. And they are actually the better ones to be there. And so, I feel like the role that I came to serve has been filled and now it’s someone else’s job to feel that. And they’re better because they’re meeting people where they’re at. I’m doing other things and I’m giving what I’ve got now for other projects, and that’s building. So I think that is a little bit of that acceptance. That sort of cycle has come to completion and an accepting that and then honoring that. And yeah. Naomi : So you asked about finding different language for all that for all of that and so I want to just read what I wrote down and you don’t have to react now. But: T he leader beside came up a lot while you were talking because I don’t think that it’s as much that you’re going to the background, as much as you’re just stepping next. And not even stepping beside but I think leader beside is a really powerful thought. I also think that you’ve done such an incredible job and you’re excited about elevating the impact of others. And I think that’s also beautiful because personally, it doesn’t minimize your work by elevating the work of your coaching constellation. I also think that you’re a catalyzer . And so that came to mind also that you’ve catalyzed this work. And even metabolic comes in a little bit around you have to have a foundation for the explosion to happen. You have to have the right things together, and you’ve done that, you’ve alkalized that in the last 10 years, and now it’s time to have the exponential impact that’s going to happen because you’ve brought in those other leaders. The other thing that came to mind for you, Sundae, is that, and I’m getting goosebumps because this is myself as well and I see it so strongly in you, you’re a fire starter. And we’re not meant to do all of the things. We’re not meant to fire start and tend the coals. And so what you’re doing is handing over the tools to your team, the constellation coaches to tend the coals. And neither is more important of a job. I think that’s the other thing that may have some of the angst for you is that your job has been so important in the last 10 years of building this, and it’s equally as important that they keep it going and that they bring all of what they have that you don’t have to it. So there’s something in the alchemy and the metabolizing and all of that that might be some interesting words to think about, as you process and talk about the shift. Sundae : I love that. There’s so much permission there. And what I realized I wrote down while you were talking, I wrote down the word “consistency.” So tending the coals is “consistency.” And I think that’s where I came in conflict because it’s one of my principles. I teach about consistency is show up, show up, show up. So if consistency is a high-value and delivers results then there is a tension of knowing when to stop tending the coals and let someone else take over the coals so you can start another fire. Naomi : Yes. Sundae : And now I’m going to go back to the word that I said out loud, which I’ve never said before, and that was “cycle.” I think, I finally and I’m talking about, like right now in this conversation. I was seeing it like, start-stop-shift. And now, I’m seeing it more like an “operating cycle.” I built the foundation and I helped develop people’s capacity and then now it’s time to sort of unleash this into another realm. Naomi : Yeah. What was really interesting about what you just did is your hands and I don’t know if I’ll be able to audibly share this but your hands went in a almost like a spring motion of a cycle instead of a circle cycle. Which I think a lot of us would think of a cycle coming back to then maybe the cycle starting again. And your hands automate. Your body was like it’s a perpetual cycle that goes out from you. And so that’s powerful. Sundae : And that’s something that I teach. It’s about how we talked about the Stress-Growth-Adaptation Dynamic, that when you feel stress, that’s a good sign because you’re growing. Then you adapt. And then you grow again. And so I think that’s also part of that. That’s something you and I have talked about. I am really often uncomfortable right now. The level of responsibility that I have and the newness of the roles. I mean, I’m really uncomfortable. And I went from mentor coaching, not just coaching but then mentor coaching, and doing the thing I’ve been doing for years and years to a completely new context, right? And we know conscious incompetence and then conscious competence still takes effort. And so that’s something I want to also share with people when they’re doing something new and they’re in transition, and it feels hard, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. It means that you’re growing and you’re learning. And my thing right now, my mantra right now is like, “All of this is going to feel different in one year.” *laughter* Naomi : *laughter* Yes. Yes. Sundae: This is all going to be different in one year. Naomi : Yes, the thing that comes up for me, especially when you think about that your past work with expats and folks on the move and knowing, both of our experiences. It’s almost like, we have to pull back in the things that we know to be true as simple as how have we helped our children adapt in a new school? What do we tell them to do if they get lost? What do we tell them to do if they feel uncomfortable or alone ? It’s the same exact things. And what works for today is not probably what’s going to work tomorrow. So being able to have that flow and that flex of what do I need for right now? And then also comes back to be real where you’re at. I also I’m trying to find on my phone really quickly, this quote, that I think, is so powerful, and so beautiful. “Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror, just keep going. No feeling is final.” And it’s by Rainer Maria Rilke. And I think that “no feeling is final” is so powerful, especially when we’re able to slow down long enough to sit with ourselves, and be like, “What am I feeling?” Because I think so often for me, I’ve programmed myself to what I feel as a comfortable feeling and so then I just say, “Well, I’m just feeling uncomfortable right now.” It’s not actually for me, uncomfortable, maybe it’s that I’m feeling self-conscious, or maybe that I’m feeling disgusted about not having made a decision fast enough or the right decision. So I think remembering that no feeling is final remembering that we still decide. We still get to decide, how are we showing up in this moment. How are you showing up for others? How are we showing up to celebrate? How are we showing up to memorialize what’s been in the past? The last thing I want to say, Sundae, is you said this and it’s so so powerful. You said, “You’ve been creating something that exists independently of yourself.” If I’ve never heard a better definition of legacy . It’s not that it’s just that someone remember that of you, it’s literally going to perpetuate and continue to exist outside of you and that’s I mean talk about Legacy by Design inside of transition. Sundae : Yeah, that’s true. That’s true. It’s pretty awesome. And I’m also grateful for having this image of a steel ball and then magnets come to it. I feel like I’m bringing those 10 years with me and I’m the steel ball, feeling a little bit naked, a little bit bare and I’m having these magnets come to me like new learning. I have so many examples of great leadership that I get to be around every day. I have so many examples of courageous conversations I get to be witness to. I have to have courageous conversations every day. The magnets that are coming to the steel ball right now that are going to stick with me, I feel so grateful for that. And I think, for me, if I pull it back to what we talked about with making the impact on people, I have to trust that those will sort of expand the way in which I can make an impact in people’s lives. In ways that I couldn’t predict, what would happen to my life one year ago. I don’t know what will happen in 10 years, right? And I’m just trusting, I’m learning exactly what I need to learn right now. I don’t know why but this is what I’m doing. I’m growing in exactly the ways I need to grow right now. And this is the trust that I ask my clients to have in their own process. And I have to live it and I’m like, “Dang it.” *laughter* “Fine, I’ll walk the talk.” It’s so frustrating but it’s also like, “Yeah. Actually, this is what it’s about.” Naomi : Yeah. Well and that comes back to the modeling and doing not only what you said you would do but doing what you’ve asked others to do. The image also comes when you were talking about the steel ball of do you know the bean sculpture in Chicago? It’s a mirrored huge thing that looks kind of like a lima bean. And when it was installed in this beautiful park, everyone is like, “What is that? That doesn’t make any sense. I don’t understand that, that doesn’t have any resonance to me.” There was all of this drama about, “What is the bean?” What’s beautiful is that it sits there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year and people come to it and they can see their reflection in it because it’s mirrored. And so there’s all these beautiful – you can walk underneath it, you can walk around it, people take photos of it. And my point in saying all of this is that you’ve laid this bean. Oh, how appropriate? Sundae : *laughter* Naomi : That was funny. You’ve laid this bean as a foundation to say come experience what you need from the past 10 years of my work. Come, it will look different for everybody. It might not resonate right away but it’s still going to be there when you need to come back to it. And it allows people to have a different experience with it. And I think that’s what I am so I just am so impressed by you and the work that you’ve done because it has been so diverse in what it can do for people. So, I’m just celebrating with you. You are incredible and such a big decision to be able to say “yes” to yourself and to your family and to your own transformation over the next however many years. Sundae : Who knows? Naomi: Who knows? Sundae : Well, I want to say “thank you” for being part of my journey. I don’t know when we actually met. We met in 2018, I know, but we met before maybe 2016-17. Naomi: Probably, yeah. Sundae : You’ve been there through a lot of those transitions and you’ve also been an important touch point for me because who do transition specialists go to when they need support in transition, right? It’s like a therapist who needs therapists. Naomi: Right? And it comes from all of this. All of our relationships, not all of our relationship, but it comes from that foundation of having lived through something. And so for you to be now, up-leveling. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but to level into this next thing, you now are going to have even more of your own experience to be able to bring back to your community and your life. Sundae: And I think where I have to trust that is it’s exactly what happened in 2012 when I was in my dream job. I was ahead of intercultural management and I had a job I never thought I would be lucky enough to have amazing people around me doing exactly what I wanted. And I left it because I felt like if I stayed – it was for other reasons to go abroad as well, but for the whole family, but also for me professionally because I knew if I stayed, I would just be tending the coals in my life and not starting a fire for me professionally. And I’m so grateful I did it. And no one thought it made sense because I was giving up something really secure. Something that I had built and worked hard for. And I’m so grateful I did that. And it feels a little bit like another pivot point where I’m doing that. Sundae : All right. Well, thank you so much Naomi for joining me in this reverse interview for my 10th anniversary. I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate. Naomi : Thank you for asking me. So there you have it. That was such a powerful conversation for me. I hope that you’re taking away something from it as well. For me, I’m walking into that feeling of surrender, that feeling of satisfaction and the joy about what’s next. I can’t wait for you to be part of that journey. I’m so excited to connect you with my coaches and with my program so that you can get the same sort of results that have been possible through the collaboration over the last 10 years. I’m pouring all of my wisdom from my clients, from my experience, from my professional competencies into everything that I do and I want you to be able to share that together with me. All right, so what is next? What does that mean for working with me? What does that mean for working with the Coalition ? Was that mean for the podcast? The answer is, stay tuned, because those answers are now in development. We are in transformation, what I can say is that I am available by request. My time is much more limited right now. So I’m selective about who I work with live. I’ve had the gorgeous pleasure of co-designing a workshop for a women’s network where we featured the learning outcomes from my Wisdom Fusion program. I have the huge honor of working with an executive team and helping them through their largest challenges and more. What I do have it. In mind are, get this, I would love to do a retreat sometime in the coming year, so stay tuned on my newsletter for more. If you want to work with me in a very hands-on, connected way, in person, let’s say, I don’t know, somewhere gorgeous in the South of France, let me know because we’ll be planning a retreat in the near future. I can’t wait to be part of this next phase with you, with my company, with the Global Coach Coalition, with the content that I’ve created over the years. I will leave you during this beautiful 10 year celebration with something I find very poignant from William Stafford. He says: “I embrace emerging experience. I participate in discovery. I am a butterfly. I am not a butterfly collector. I want the experience of the butterfly.” Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post 306: 10th Anniversary Special! appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Marriage and Partnership Highlight 3: You’re Changing But Your Partner Isn’t This episode focuses on the big question, “What can we do about spouses that just aren’t stepping up?” Maybe not even stepping up to take care of their health. Or being present with the kids. Find out the three steps you can take to make an impact without being a nag or starting a fight. And these strategies don’t just apply to spouses, but will work for anyone you are in relationship with. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that really resonated with people of the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here: The Love Letter Every International Couple Needs To Read . The spirit of this letter is meant to capture the challenges many individuals go through when they leave their home culture, move abroad and settle in the home country of their partner. Its intention is to start a dialogue about these experiences. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: You’re Changing But Your Partner Isn’t appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Marriage and Partnership Highlight 2: Midlife Marriage Meltdown Is it your marriage, expat life, a midlife crisis, or all of the above? I welcome psychologist and founder of the Expat Nest, Vivian Chiona, to help us find out. A specialist on the distinct challenges faced by the globally mobile community, Vivian gives us the hard questions to ask before divorce. She also offers reparative and preventative measures for enduring relationship success. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that really resonated with people on the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here: 3 Warning Signs For The Expat Couple . Relationships are challenging enough, and as an expat couple there are additional demands you have to manage. Watch out for these three warning signs if you are in a relationship where the expat on assignment has a heavy load of responsibility. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Midlife Marriage Meltdown appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Marriage and Partnership Highlight 1: Feeling Distant From Your Partner Look at your life and how you spend your time. Now look at your partner’s. Ever thought, “It’s like we live in different countries!” I get it. And I know that deep down you may worry that these differences could rip you apart. I have got your back – and it is in a totally unexpected way. Check out this game I created for you that will help you not only have a little fun but also bridge the divide so you can create more connection and understanding. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that really resonated with people on the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here: When You Feel A “Big Talk” Coming On, Do This First. One of those “big talks” with your partner – or someone important to you – may very well be on the horizon. That is why I share a process with you that´ll leave you feeling a little more grounded, better understood, and much more in control of your life. This is your go-to-guide the next time you feel a “big talk” coming on. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Marriage and Partnership appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Resilience and Burnout Highlight 3: Simplified Self-Care This episode is for the carers out there – the tired teachers, parents, health and wellness professionals, entrepreneurs… I see you, and I’ve come with fierce reinforcements. Dr. Tiessen discusses the harm caused from self-neglect, and shares her expert tips for easy, creative, and playful ways to add self-care into our daily routine. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Expat Resilience: Avoiding The Breaking Point . It has been established in the research that those with resilience are able to perform better and be happier than those with lower resilience. Sounds promising but what do we really mean when we talk about resilience? We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Simplified Self-Care appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Resilience and Burnout Highlight 2: Standing on The Sidelines of Your Life? Somewhere along the way, we stop and realise that we are no longer on track but are just hustling to get by. To tick off lists. No longer doing anything for ourselves, nothing for joy. It is time to stop the other’s priorities merry-go-round and start living your life with more purpose. Use these ten signs to step back into who you are and everyone will benefit as you reclaim a full, fun and satisfying life. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that resonated with people on the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here: : One Way To Trick Fear . It isn´t always rational (unless you are left in a room alone with a rabid tiger). But fear´s positive intention is to protect us. The disturbing thing is our body´s response to it can actually be the same, whether the thing that scares us is real or imagined. You know the game: fight or flight, and in this case my good buddy – freeze. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Standing on The Sidelines of Your Life? appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Resilience and Burnout Highlight 1: Why You Should Talk About Grief. Grief is tough enough. Add being part of an intercultural family or navigating a globally-mobile life and it gets even more complicated. When loss strikes, no one wants to also manage unexpected guilt or feel unprepared when confronted with cultural expectations that are completely different from your own. This podcast which explores four phases that can help uncomplicate the impact of loss when it strikes so that you can focus on what is most important. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that resonated with people on the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here: Wallow In Your Misery During Change . In this blog, I introduce a 3-part process which is designed to help you splash about in the mud of discontent so you can bring about real change and end the sting of agony. I will begin by introducing three simple components of good wallowing: observe – serve – unwrap. Each is illustrated with examples from my own life so you can see what they look like in action. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Why You Should Talk About Grief. appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Highlight 3: Am I Spoiling My Kids? Overindulgence isn’t just about the families who give too much ice cream. Overindulgence includes a broad spectrum, from allowing too much of anything, to over nurturing or simply having too soft of structures. According to the experts, overindulgence is a form of child neglect. What?! Yes, read on. Thanks to the decades of research from today’s guest, Dr David Bredehoft, and his associates, Dr Connie Dawson and Jean illsley Clarke, parents who are committed to doing the right thing are not alone. Listen to today’s podcast to walk away with ten essential steps to gain more clarity on what counts as overindulgence and how to better allow your child to achieve their full potential. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that resonated with people on the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here: Getting Comfortable With Change Pains : In this Blog, I want to help you make it through the transition you are currently facing so you have more energy, greater joy and less stress. Interested? Spontaneously answer the questions below. Don´t analyze or judge. Just respond with what first pops into mind. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Am I Spoiling My Kids? appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Highlight 2: Grief And Guilt Raising Tcks With Ruth Van Reken . By raising our kids cross-culturally, we are creating children who can move towards those who might seem different but with whom they can find meaningful commonalities. This is just one gift of a cross-cultural life. If you are raising your children abroad, chances are you’ve heard the term Third Culture Kid. If you haven’t, you will want to pay extra close attention. If you have, this episode has something brand new for you. Together with this podcast’s special guest Dr. Ruth van Reken, co-author of the book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, we explore grief, guilt, and identity as well as the pride and absolute joys of raising our children abroad. If you think you’ve heard this all before, wait: we cover new territory. Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: Interested in Adapt and Succeed but want a taste of the program first? Check out the Amuse-Bouche Freebie here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that really resonated with people of the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here – The Struggle With The Question “Where Is Home?” : When you meet someone new and you’re an expat, the question often comes up, “So, where´s home?” The innocent person who asks this may not even know how this question triggers an internal dilemma. But if you´re an expat, or someone whose heart and story is increasingly being divided into pieces, “home” simply resides in more than one place. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Grief And Guilt Raising TCKs With Ruth Van Reken appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Thirsty for some empowerment? We are bringing back some all time highlights so you can stay quenched for quarter 2 of 2023. You’ll get a combination of the most classic and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles in our archives for the next few months. 3 months of timeless insight for life IN TRANSIT! 1 Highlight topic for this quarter on the following: Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Grief and Resilience Marriage and Partnerships The Timeless Series is also a tribute to when the IN TRANSIT podcast was formerly known as Expat Happy Hour. Drum roll…..Here is Timeless Series Raising Kids IN TRANSIT Highlight 1: Chat with My TCKs . My favorite conversation with my boys! Listen to the Full Episode: Featured: XPath , one of our relocation partners just released an App where you can get access to Adapt and Succeed services right from your phone in whatever region you are moving to. Check it out here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: Here is a Blog that really resonated with people of the subject. If you haven’t read it, check it out here – 6 Things We Tell Our Kids But Don’t Do Ourselves : All too often we fail to show up in our own lives the way we expect our children to. Take a closer look at this list, check in on whether you are following your own advice, and try out one of my challenges. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post Timeless Series: Chat with My TCKs appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
When you move abroad as an accompanying spouse, you spend a lot of time and energy trying to fit in with people who don’t understand you. Giving up your career, not recognizing yourself anymore, overcompensating by baking cupcakes from scratch because grocery store ones just won’t do, dot dot dot. And you can try and explain what it’s like until you’re blue in the face, telling your story to the most empathetic person on the planet. But in the end, it takes one to know one, and if you’re an accompanying spouse, my guest this week will take the words right out of your mouth. It’s my pleasure to welcome back life coach, entrepreneur, author, and member of Global Coach Coalition, Claire Hauxwell . You might remember Claire from EP172 where we discussed Party Fouls . Claire calls herself a Professional BadASS — the capital “ASS” stands for “Accompanying Supportive Spouse.” For the globally mobile, that’s a creative way to reference people who move abroad with a partner on assignment. Often giving up their own career, the so-called “trailing spouse” can feel unseen, undervalued, and suffers a quiet self-erosion. This happens while the rest of the world regards their life abroad as adventurous and carefree — which, even when true, doesn’t negate a desire for purpose. Claire first became an accompanying spouse in 2009. 14 years later, Claire has five international moves under her belt. Today, Claire returns to share updates on her journey, including a new book where she uses her experience to help other accompanying spouses think big. What You’ll Learn in this Episode: Busy but unsatisfied Misunderstanding ungratefulness Coaching session morning sickness Letting go of other people’s opinions Wearing jeans that never break-in Listen to the Full Episode: Featured on the Show: What will you and I talk about when you come on this podcast to share YOUR success story? In Global Coach Coalition, we THINK BIG, together. So if you’re done playing small, then join our upcoming class right here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge BadASS Abroad: How to Get Your Expat Shift Together Year of Transformation with Sundae FIGT Claire Hauxwell Catch These Podcasts / Articles: EP190: Scale of Wholeness EP301: The Crumble EP302: Infinite Possibilities EP303: Fight Mode EP304: Triumph In Transit Who doesn’t love reruns? Well, here comes the Timeless Series . For the next three months, we’ll revive the most evergreen and impactful podcast episodes, blogs, and articles from our archives. And while you quench your thirst for empowering content in Q2, we’re working behind-the-scenes to return with a vengeance for Q3! Thank you for your continued support during these shapeshifting times. We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript: Download Transcript Hello, it is 4 a.m. in New York, 10 a.m. in Johannesburg, and 4 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist, transformation facilitator, and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition. I’m going to pick a caption from a book that will be featured in today’s episode and see if you’ve ever felt this, “Is ‘Done’ an emotion because I feel that in my soul.” Now, if you’re feeling , “Done,” right now, then you want to check out the rest of this episode with Claire Hauxwell because she can help us go from that feeling of absolutely done to living a life where you have your shift together. Claire, welcome to IN TRANSIT. Claire : Thanks, Sundae for having me. I’m excited to be here. Sundae : Claire you’ve been at this before, where you helped us and some of the things you shouldn’t say to an expat partner, that was our Party Foul episode . And now I’m having you back on after a huge transformation in your own life. Let me tell people about you before we dive in Claire Hauxwell is what she calls a Professional BadASS and that means Capital ASS: Accompanying Supportive Spouse. For those of you who are not living a globally mobile life, that’s another way, a very creative way to talk about those people who are joining their partner as you move abroad. Or living a mobile life to support your family in the job transitions. With nearly 14 years of experience, Claire has figured out living life abroad. She has five international moves under her belt. And she’s really learned how to embrace all things about living an unbounded and global lifestyle, and what it throws at you. What’s great about her, is her life because of how mobile it’s been globally, helps her understand in a really deep way, living life in transition. Claire’s originally from Michigan and has been relocating both internationally and domestically for many many years. Claire is also a certified life coach. She works with those to gain confidence, shift their mindset, and create a fulfilling and intentional life at home and abroad. And she is the author of the book, BadASS Abroad: How to Get Your Expat Shift Together. It is relatable, it is funny, and it’s part memoir, part guidebook on a life-changing journey. And Claire has been so kind to share some of her journey with you today. So Claire, thank you for joining us. How long have we known each other? Claire : We met in 2018 at FIGT , I think. Sundae : Can you tell me a little bit about– give us a glimpse of where your life was at then. Claire : When I went to FIGT that year, I turned 40 that year and well I had turned 40 the year before but it was in my 40th year and I was trying to like figure out what I do now. My kids are getting a bit older. Nobody really needs me here. I have all this time on my hands. I’m busy, but I’m not loving anything that I do. And I was writing but I didn’t do anything with my writing and I was spending all my time giving all my energy to other people. And when I went to this conference, which was kind of like a precipice, which is funny because I think I met you and I was like, “Whoa, she seems like super bubbly.” I don’t know how, I don’t know if we knew each other just from online. Sundae : Yep, South African connection. Claire : Yeah, expat life is a small world. But I had gotten to this point in my life where I was like, “What the hell is going on?” What are you doing with your life here? Because like everything’s going on around you and you’re just kind of existing.” Sundae : Well, I can imagine a lot of people can relate to that right now, right? Claire : Yeah. And I think this was obviously pre-COVID where a lot of things are like now, we’re still existing in a different world today. But back then, I was just like, “I have to be the perfect mom. I have to be the perfect wife. I’ve got to make sure everything looks perfect on the outside. And I have to help and have to…” Well, I didn’t need to do all those things and I was so busy. What but I wasn’t doing things that I loved anymore. I mean, I loved parenting and I loved being a wife but it wasn’t fulfilling me. I had nothing that was my own. Sundae : Hmm. How did you know that? Like, you have that language for it now, but what were the signs then? Claire : I didn’t know it then. That was really the thing. I didn’t know it. And I think what happened was, I started trying to figure something out. Something. I use this term in my book a lot. I use the word, “Something” is missing. And I think I’ve talked to a lot of expat spouses in my time living abroad, which is a lot of expat spouses and everyone’s got a great life. My life is great. I never complained. I didn’t need to complain. I wasn’t, I didn’t have to complain, I wanted for nothing. But something was missing. And it was something for me. It wasn’t like I was giving everything I could to everybody else and that was great and I was doing a good job but I said I can always do more. And I kept doing this but I got to the point where I was getting really uncomfortable with the idea of whatever this something was and it really was like a rock in my shoe. So it was like, I got really uncomfortable in my own skin. And not uncomfortable from a physical perspective, just I didn’t know who I was anymore. Sundae : Hmm. The clients I’ve worked with, they say, “I’m happy but unsatisfied.” Claire : Correct. That’s exactly what it was. I was unfulfilled, I didn’t know what the word “fulfilled” meant because I didn’t know what I liked anymore. I didn’t know. And I and I talked about this in my book a lot because I think, one of the things I say in the book is someone asked me, “What’s your favorite meal?” And, I don’t even know because I only worry about what everyone else wants to eat. That was where I was at in my world. Really uncomfortable and that’s when I had reached out to you. Where I was like, “I don’t know what is happening here.” And I would have been the first person to say, “I will never use a life coach. Who needs a life coach?” I just didn’t know. I wasn’t doing it. And I hesitated for a while but it was like, Something’s gotta give. I’m doing all the things but I’m not doing one of the things, and that was taking care of me. Or taking care of my needs. Sundae : So what name would you give the discomfort that you were feeling? Because, obviously, you have to be uncomfortable enough to say “Yes,” to something that probably seems equally uncomfortable. Claire : Right. Yeah, totally. It’s like when you like, “Oh. I’m a skier.” Great. Let’s put a snowboard on instead. And now throw me down the mountain. It’s like taking on a new adventure. I would say it’s like when a pair of jeans is a bit too tight, you know? It’s because they’re not comfortable anymore. Usually, you can put a pair of jeans on the first day, they’re really stuck. And then they start breaking in and they feel good. It was like the jeans were tight every single day. Sundae : Yeah, yeah. Claire : And then it was. “Okay. I have to go up a size, which isn’t a bad thing. Sundae : Right? Right. Claire : Because maybe these jeans have shrunk over time. And it’s still the same me. It’s not that I am different physically or who I am. I don’t fit in those jeans anymore the way that I used to. And so, then, it was okay if I have to get a different pair of jeans and now these fit differently and that’s also uncomfortable because you’re having to get comfortable with the idea of like. “I have to size up.” I have to, you know. That’s a really weird metaphor to use, but it would just be like, “I have to be comfortable with the change. I have to feel okay with changing.” And that’s where it was. Sundae : And it’s like, “I have to be okay with taking more space in my life.” Or, I have to be okay with saying where I am in my life and where I want to be, there’s a gap there and that’s uncomfortable. Claire : Hmm. I would assume that it’s like when a snake sheds its skin, right? It’s got to be so uncomfortable, the last, I don’t know how long it takes for them to do that, but that last bit of growth, you have to break out of that skin. It can’t feel good. And it doesn’t feel good because that’s where I got to the point of like really unhappy. Sundae : And you’re unhappy and your life is perfect, right? That’s the hard part of like, “Why am I unhappy and my life is perfect?” And that’s because there’s something fundamental and this is something I always try to advocate in the podcast and other forms of like, we are wired for purpose. It is okay to want to have a fulfilling life. There’s so much in our modern society, that pulls us away from connection, that pulls us away from meaning, right? It’s okay to want that. Claire : Yeah, and I think that there’s a big thing about ungratefulness, people feel that like, “Well, you should be grateful.” I’m super grateful, doesn’t mean I can’t be unhappy about something. And I think people view ungratefulness in the wrong way. My gratefulness has nothing to do with how I feel inside. Sundae : Exactly. Right. So interesting. So there’s this comfort and you basically gave up one discomfort to start another one. Do you mind sharing the story about morning sickness that we talked about? Claire : Oh yeah. So okay, so if you haven’t figured it out yet, Sundae was my coach. I did the Year of Transformation with Sundae . And I think I went into the first, I don’t know, two months of sessions, and I was just like, “This sucks. ” I really don’t want to be doing this. She was like, “It’s fine. It’s like that in beginning.” And I’m like, “It’s not fine.” But like, “This is normal. It’s all part of the process.” And I just was like, “No. Ew. All I’m doing is getting it all out.” She’s like, “You need to get it all out.” And I was like , “Okay, I’m gonna keep going.” And it’s honestly that Sundae uses the morning sickness, you feel sick all the time and it’s true I did. I had this pit in my stomach for a long time. But then I got over this hump and I was like, there’s no more pit. Sundae : Yeah. And the pit is like all the bullshit you tell yourself. Claire : Totally. Sundae : All the old patterns that are not serving you. I’m actually feel sick in my stomach right now when I’m saying it because it makes me think about, you have to surface it. Otherwise, you’re not going to get around it. Could you put a word to a few of the things that you expulsed? Claire : So I had to let go of what other people thought of me because I had these ideas that like, everybody’s all else’s opinion mattered, which doesn’t. I had to give up the idea of like, nobody died today so I did a good job. And then I also had to give up that, it’s okay to say “no. ” I really didn’t have boundaries anymore. So I would just say “Yes.” And I didn’t listen to my intuition at all anymore so I really had a hard time stopping and thinking before I would say “yes” to something because I was just used to like, “Oh sure, whatever it is that you need. I can take care of it because I’m Superwoman. ” And what that does is it creates false expectations, all around. So everybody expects that you’re going to do that. There are some options about you is XY and Z. And yes, you look great but on the inside it’s like, I don’t want to make cupcakes for somebody. I don’t want to pick that person’s kid up from school. These are all the things that I don’t want to do right but I’m doing them anyway. But why?, I don’t need to. So yeah, I got really comfortable with being okay with saying “no.” Sundae : Yep. I’m wondering and I’m curious if this is something that you feel too, but when I think about my former self, there were versions of me where what you just said was also probably true for me, but I would have never admitted it to myself, let alone, other people. Tell me where I’m wrong. Claire : I wouldn’t have admitted it to myself until I’d done the work. Sundae : Yes, that’s what I’m saying. You would live in a lie; live with the idea as if that’s not a problem. As if you’re not doing that thing. Claire : Well, that’s just because that’s just the way it is. And I think that that’s probably part of it is that, it doesn’t just have to be the way it is. Can I provide cupcakes? Sure, but they’re coming from the grocery store. You didn’t have to make them. They just have to be cupcakes. I feel like we are putting expectations on ourselves that are above and beyond what anybody else is putting on themselves. So why is it okay for Susie down the street to provide nothing and I’ve got to make up for something? And that’s where I think a lot of accompanying spouses, we’re trying to compensate for something because a lot of us leave careers. A lot of us, maybe were caretakers of our parents. Or a lot of us leave a lot of purposeful things when we leave to go to another place. And that’s not just to say when you leave the first time, if you’re like me, where you’ve left me times you can get used to it. And then, oh, crap. Now I got to leave again. And all the things that became part of me and more purposeful to me, now, I got to go and recreate that. And so that overcompensates for all the things I don’t have that were filling the something. And that’s part of the transition. But if you know how to prepare for them. Yeah, you’re halfway there. Sundae : So I really appreciate the transparency that you have about how it was. And I think a lot of people can understand that and they relate with that. So we’re going through the morning sickness, you’re confronting all of the crap that no one wants to confront. And then what? Claire : I think then what it was, I was able to think big. What did I want my life to look like? And I think that’s what a lot of us are afraid of doing because we don’t really know what we want. Because we’re so focused. Yeah, we forget. We get so focused on others. And I would say that this could happen with somebody that is not in my situation or an accompanying spouse. This could be somebody that is working, has a full-time job, that also has kids, that doesn’t have kids. That it could be anybody. If you’re just doing things because that’s what you do, you still have to fulfill you . Sundae : Right? Claire : And you have to make the time Sundae : It makes me think about you know, this podcast is coming right on the tail of the focus on the Four Phases of Transformation . And we talked about Infinite Possibilities , how anything is possible. And where people get stuck is where they forget how to want, is exactly what you were talking about. And that moment of, wait a minute, “What if I open up the door?” and I imagined, like you said, “Think big. What could be possible?” And that’s what you said. You have to think big. But my observation and with my clients and even what happened, I think with us as when you do open up that door of what’s possible, I believe in you, I see you. And just like with you and your clients, you see lots of possibilities but they’re not ready to see that yet. Can you think of an example of that in your own journey, where the doors started to open and it was hard for you to see into what else would be possible? Claire : Yeah, I think there was a point where you and I would talk and you’d be like, “Well, what if you did this? Or what if you did that?” And I’d be like, “No, no no.” And then you talked about me becoming a coach and I was like, “Hell no. That is not where I’m going. I don’t want to do that, that’s not me.” And you were like, “Okay, we’re just going to put a pin in that over there, and we’re going to keep going. ” And for me, I was the type of person and I know I can think back to the time when we were working together on this, I always talked about, “I like helping people. I like getting them through these Journeys. I like helping them figure out how to move forward.” And you were just like, “Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm.” Sundae : *laughter* Claire : I can see your face like five years ago. So yeah, we don’t know what we don’t know Sundae : And I remember there was a time where you really really resisted having your own thing, like your own business, right? Claire : The word “monetize,” came up. And I was like, “Yo, why would I want to monetize anything?” Really? And that’s because I’d never like, the idea of “entrepreneur” at all. Which still scares the hell out of me today because it’s still new. That’s a journey that I am still going through. But at that time I just wasn’t ready for it because I couldn’t wrap my head around, just the first part of that. Sundae : Yeah. And so this kind of goes back to the beginning and I’m going to let everybody read your journey in the book to find out more . But what I’m seeing is this pattern, we talked about again, back to the podcast, where we talked about the Four Phases of Transformation. The Crumble was, my life, it’s good, but not good enough type of thing. I’m looking for fulfillment, that the crumble, what am I going to do? Where you finally get uncomfortable enough, right to do something, then we go through Infinite Possibilities , where it’s like, “Let me think big. What could it be? ” And then some resistance around, “No, I can’t make money doing this. I would never become that,” right? That’s that limiting belief. And then you did the work. And that’s, I mean, your journey is captured in the book and that’s when we talk about Fight Mode . You did the work you showed up and now you’re getting the fruits of the labor. What advice do you have for people who? Are seeing themselves and where you were in 2018? Claire : Just don’t let it slip away because the more time that you waste not taking advantage of this, of the knowing. You know in your gut, whether you want to believe it or not, you know in your gut what you’re feeling. And my advice would be, if there’s one thing that you can do is start listening to yourself more because that’ll give you the bravery to take the steps to find all the things your somethings . Give yourself the courage by just listening to yourself. Because I didn’t always listen to myself and I let too much time pass. We can’t get back time. So we have to take advantage of it. Dealing with a life coach is not like dealing with a life coach like we think it is really is different. And I’m now such a big proponent of it obviously but do the work inside, listen to yourself and then find somebody that gets you. Because if you can find somebody that gets you, it doesn’t feel awkward and weird and strange. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve ugly cried in front of somebody. Sundae : If you’re not crying, you’re not doing it right. Claire : Right? Ugly cry. And then you laughing and then you’re like, “Okay, this is good.” So just give yourself the courage to do it because it’s all about your worth it. I mean you really are. Sundae : Well I want to take a little side step here, we talked about this before we got on the call about this idea of life coach and what’s so funny is most people that – – first of all we need to define what a coach is because there’s a lot of sort of like the energy, that’s attached to some coaching schools or some processes or methods or people have no training. So, I just want to define coaching for a second for people who are listening. Coaching, the purpose of coaching, if you look at the International Coaching Federation , coaching is where you assume your client is the expert of their life. And the coach has methodology to help the client find their own answers, right? And so, the coach is an expert in the methodology to help that person get out of their own head. Or to see what’s possible. But it’s all through that collaboration. So it’s that collaboration together where it makes it happen. I think that’s important. Coaching is not therapy, it’s not counseling, it’s also a caveat. I think it’s important to say. And that coaching is focused on now and the future who you’re becoming. It’s not something that digs way back in the past and helps you find out why. There are people in the industry that kind of ruin it because they don’t have called qualifications so they’re not delivering results, etc, etc. So I did you think it’s important to just say that out loud and the other thing I want to say about this is I had a situation recently where I reached out to one of my mentors and I said, “Hey are you accepting clients right now? Because I have something I’d like to bring to you in coaching.” And they’re like, on that topic and coaching, and I was surprised by the response because the compliment was, “Sundae, you’re so good at what you do. Why would you need coaching?” And my answer was, “I am so good at what I do because I engage in these kinds of processes so that I don’t stay stuck.” Because I’m also human. And I also get stuck in my stuff. And it’s like, for me, I need this. This is how I operate. I need a sparring partner. I need someone to call my bullshit. I need someone to remind me who I am, right? I also need those things. And l just want to say that for people who don’t know what that is and what that process is you get a taste of it in your book, right? But I just felt like that was an important side comment because what you did, I thought was so important, is you tried to do it on your own and then you noticed, you’ve kind of exhausted all of your creative resources and you wanted to make progress. So it was at that point where you said, “Hey maybe I shouldn’t do this alone.” Claire : Yeah, and there’s no shame in asking for help, right? And I think that’s one of the things that a lot of people right now face. They’re afraid of asking for help. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It just makes me better at what I do. Cuz now I can do things that I couldn’t do before. I didn’t have the tools to do those before. Sundae : Yep. Absolutely. Claire : And it builds confidence and it’s all about, how do we get better together versus why do I have to struggle on my own? That idea just drives me crazy. “I am okay, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.” Well, if I just help you carry it for a little bit here, then it be easier and we get to the next step and then we’ll see where you go. Sundae : Oh, and I’ve been that person. I remember being pregnant and I’d have like two loads of groceries on my hips, huge belly, opening the door of the key, and my husband’s like, “Do you need help?” I’m like, “No, I got this.” In hindsight, I’m like, what the heck? Claire : Yeah, Sundae : So I’m sure there are people who are listening who have been there 100%. So there was something I wanted to follow up with that. You got you and you didn’t ask for help. It’s like you asked for a sparring partner so you could do better. And this is when clients say to me, thank you for my support. I’m like, “You’re the one who did the work,” you know. I mean, it’s the individual who is bringing their crap and things that are hard, they’re the ones doing the hard work, right? So, I think it’s important that this is a team effort and the one who’s bringing their topic to the session as the one is doing all the hard work. Claire : Yeah, and one of the things that I’ve noticed working with clients is, especially in the beginning of coaching there like, “I just need someone to tell me what to do, and why.” That’s not going to happen here. Sundae : Yeah. Yeah. Claire : I’m not gonna tell you what to do. We’re gonna talk it out, but this is gonna, remarkably this is going to come from within. Sundae : We’re gonna dig it out of you, I like it. Claire : It might take a while but I don’t have the answer because my answer- and this is something that I have. And I think that this was one of the reasons why Sundae told me, like early, you should become a coach and all these things that we did. And when I toyed with writing a book I was like, “Who the hell wants to listen to what I have to say?” But then I was like the way that I wrote my book was, this is what I did, this was my journey. I’ll tell you all the things, they might not work for you, but this is what worked for me. And I’m very up front about that when I do speaking engagements or if I work with clients or when I talk about the book. I don’t have a doctorate. This is from what I know of myself. This is my journey. Sundae : Yeah, and, if you can go through that journey other people can go through their own version of it. Right? Like, whatever that means for them. Claire : Yeah. And some of the things might work for you. But that doesn’t mean everything’s going to work for you, right? It’s not a Bible. It’s not the Encyclopedia of self-development. Sundae : So I’m curious, like when we think about this, when you think about your journey and the ups and downs, what are you most proud of? Claire : That I didn’t give up. I remember, I don’t know if you’ll remember this, but I remember coming to a session and having really negative energy, just didn’t want to be there. I think I had moved and was in the middle of it and just like, “This sucks.” I moved back to Switzerland. I miss South Africa. And I remember sitting there and every time I think about it, I get mad at myself because I wasted all of it. I was giving up on the process, because I remember you called me out at the end of the session you were like, “I don’t know what’s going on with you but this is not right. This, isn’t you.” Sundae : Mmm. Claire : And I walked away from that and it was like I was almost just like, I’m done with this. I can, you know, I don’t need this anymore. I can, you know, whatever and it was what I needed at the most. Mmm. So I’m really glad that I never gave up on it because it is hard. And it doesn’t mean that it’s going to take six months and it’s going to be over, right? And I think that that’s another thing too, is that I still love when I can call someone and say, “I just need to have someone hold some space for me for a little while so I can get this out.” And I know the right people to call. I can call the right person and go, this person’s going to call me on my BS. This person’s going to just be really considerate or empathetic to the situation. I know who to call but it doesn’t end just because you do it and you go through a year or six months or whatever, it’s a continual process. Sundae : That was what I was trying to come back to before is that I was just having a conversation with a client about this before we hopped on the call. I worked with the client for a year and she did some amazing work and then we reconnected a year or two later and life kicked her in the teeth. And she said, “Sundae, I’m so glad we worked together when we did because at first, I was under the impression that life would get easier because of what we were doing. But then I realized that life doesn’t get easier. I just have more tools.” And that honestly, I think was also my naive idea way back, when I first started I thought that we would solve things and then they would go away, right? You dissolve a thought and it never comes back or you identify a pattern and then it’s gone. But it’s not that. It’s about when things get hard or when you get up against yourself or against things that are hard external to you, you just develop different strategies, different tools, different resilience, different ways of looking at. And that isn’t sexy marketing, right? We want quick fixes, we want instant and then gone forever. And I don’t believe in that. I don’t think life is that simple. I think our lives are more complex than that. And so that’s that’s just where I’m at and you’re right. You can just show up to hard things in new ways. Claire : Right. And I think hard things aren’t going to go away just because you get through something, something else is going to come. Like a global pandemic, like a war, like aging parents, like there are a few things. Teenagers. All of those things. All the same time, all of them at the same time. And I think that there’s like this moment that of clarity sometimes that you’re like, “Oh wait, I remember. How did I deal with this? It’s not the same situation, but how did I deal with this?” It’s almost like, “What would Sundae tell me to do?” Not that you tell but like, how would we have that conversation? And You have to do the hard work. And you have it there in you and now you can do the harder things. Those things were hard and now, there’s harder things. Sundae : Yeah, but they’re not as hard to get through because you’ve done the muscle building so to speak to lift those things. So do you mind, if we flash forward? I am going to leave the rest of your journey for them to read about in your book . It’s actually really funny. I got in trouble on the airplane because I was laughing out loud while I was reading it. But let people read it. It’s fun, it’s light but love about how this is what I saw in you, is I saw a fresh direct way of speaking about reality of globally mobile lives in ways that weren’t being talked about and needed to be talked about, that demystified or it’s spoke, a truer truth, so to speak, right? So check it out. It’s really, really beautiful, but I will fast forward. That was this book talks about your journey, but you’ve been on such another journey since then. You just keep going. Keep changing. Can you catch people up? Tell us a little bit about what kind of transitions you’re feeling right now and what form of transformation is happening in your own life right now. Claire : So there’s a few different things, right now, if I look at my life, as a globally mobile person, I’ve become a stair in my world. So, I’m now kind of like having not just packing up, I’m usually that three-year person. I’m probably not going anywhere anytime soon. So like there’s a little bit of, that’s different. Those transitions lead through everyone’s leaving. Or everybody knows that they’re leaving in this certain time and I’m like but we’re not. So that’s part of it and there’s things that you can do to help that. Solopreneurship. It’s like that’s a total shit show sometimes because I don’t know what I like. I’ve always worked for a corporation. When I worked outside of the home, I work for a corporation, I walked in, they gave me a badge, they gave me a computer. Here’s your software program, learn it. It was totally different. Now I’m kind of like, “What do I do today?” Right? So that’s part of it. I’m learning that I’m parenting teens! I’ve never done that before. I’m preparing to be an empty nester soon. Well, not really soon. I still feel like one will leave. Don, he’s like, “But I’ve got to get ready for that one to leave.” There’s potential for me to be on a different continent from that person. He’s only 18 years old and still needs their mom sometimes. And I have aging parents so I am going through that transition of taking more, I don’t know if it’s a responsibility level, but there’s just that. So there’s a lot of different moving parts that are going on at the same time. Sundae : Yeah. Kind of sounds like it. So we talked about Ambitious Transformation in Transition . What is your definition of ambitious right now? What is ambitious for you? Claire : I think because I’m in like an uncomfortable growth stage, in a lot of ways, I’m in the uncomfortable growth stage. If you look at the hero’s journey or whatever, it’s like the uncomfortable growth stage, I just continually have to show up. It’s just showing up as me and if those who know me, if you read my book, if you follow me on social media, know me personally, you get what you get. I’m really no fluff person and so if I know that I’m staying true to that and showing up and being there for all the people, that I need to be but showing up continually for myself. So that I can give them only things that they need. That’s ambitious for me. But I have to come first. And that’s why I think it’s ambitious because everyone’s like, “Who the hell puts themselves first?” Sundae : And it’s a complete reversal from your former pattern of what you’d started talking about in the beginning of this episode. Meeting everybody’s needs, ignoring yours, people-pleasing. And that’s why I wanted to bring you on today because I think one, you’re so generous in sharing the real story. I think It’s a chapter in your book, “I’m fine.” And I always say, when people say they’re fine, I’m like, “I don’t believe you.” I work with too many people to know how real lives are actually. Well, of course, we’re not always fine, there’s some area of our life that weird being humaning and could use a little bit of TLC for your journey. I think is so awesome in terms of where you’ve got come from and then also the transparency about the journey. Appreciate that so much. I’ve been able to watch you go from that space to actually supporting people in that space. So if you follow my work, you know that Claire is part of the Global Coach Coalition . So she went from that whole personal journey and that’s what I love about what you’ve done, you’ve done the real work. It’s not academic, it’s not just like in your head, you memorized a few things. It’s that you’ve you embody it. You’ve done the hard work. So when you work with others, you get it right in your bones. And I think that’s really important and yeah, I think it’s cool. So shameless plug for Claire, if you are looking for support, she’s also a member of the Global Coach Coalition and is a facilitator of Adapt and Succeed . She also does things on confidence. So if you want someone by your side You didn’t give me permission, so I hope it’s okay I’m sayong that. I’m shamelessly plugging you right now so Claire is awesome or just check out her book . Anything else that you want to leave people with when we look at getting your shift together, right? It’s about these shifts that you make in your life. And these sort of last words of wisdom for people. Claire : Just don’t be afraid to take – we talked about opening the door. Don’t be afraid to open the door because you don’t know what’s ahead of you. Let’s say, you got to be brave. Just take the brave stuff to open the door. Don’t have to walk through it today but now you can see that there’s other things out there and yeah, that’s the first step to getting your shift together. Sundae : So good. That’s so perfect. And now you see why I had to have Claire on right after my series on transformation. We talked about the Crumble , Infinite Possibilities , Fight Mode , and Triumph In Transition , you can see Claire’s journey in each one of those phases she’s been through. So check those episodes out if you haven’t. Check out her book and of course if you want to be someone who supports others, check out Global Coach Coalition . So Claire, thank you for being here, it’s been awesome. Claire : Thanks for having me. Sundae : My face hurts from smiling, which is always a good sign. All right, I will leave you all with the words of Joseph Campbell: “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post 305: Think Big with Claire Hauxwell appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Don’t hate me. Or at least let me finish my train of thought before you do, okay? If you’re familiar with my work, you’ve heard me reference the caterpillar-to-butterfly analogy to illustrate the transformation journey. But what if, after the former caterpillar emerges from the chrysalis, it starts flying but instead of living its best butterfly life, it looks back with regret? “There’s so much wind up here! I had it so sweet down there, tucked away in my tree trunk, with predictable access to my all-you-can-eat leaf buffet.” So what can we learn from the sad butterfly? (And no, staying small and safe isn’t it.) 1) It’s normal to miss aspects of your pre-transformation routine and acknowledge the benefits you traded for post-transformation you. 2) Just because you arrive at your Triumph IN TRANSIT phase, doesn’t mean that life gets easier. For the conclusion of our Bean Pod dedicated to the four phases of transformation, I’ve saved the best for last. So pop the champagne because this week, we’re celebrating Triumph IN TRANSIT. As the title suggests, Triumph IN TRANSIT is where you arrive after you’ve traversed through all the tough stuff in your transformation. It’s that sweet spot where you can (finally!) enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, as beautiful as this often underacknowledged phase is, it’s not without pitfalls. So today, I’ll show you how to properly recognize and celebrate Triumph IN TRANSIT. Then, I’ll help you spy with your little eye hidden dangers to stay in this phase as long as possible and be better prepared for when the bubble bursts. What You’ll Learn in this Episode: How to stop upper limiting Paying the wisdom forward You’ve done it before, you’ll do it again Feeling called to do something else Repeating what worked Listen to the Full Episode: Featured on the Show: A fast track to Triumph IN TRANSIT? Well, if there ever was one, this is it. LAST CALL to join the 100% FREE 2023 Ambition Compass challenge. I’ve never offered this level of 360-degree coaching in an open event before and won’t host another challenge for a long time. Why miss out? Sign up right here and we’ll get you caught up in a flash. Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: EP190: Scale of Wholeness EP301: The Crumble EP302: Infinite Possibilities EP303: Fight Mode We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript: Download Transcript Hello, it is 4 a.m. in New York, 10 a.m. in Johannesburg, and 4 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist, transformation facilitator, and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition. Today, we are talking about Triumph IN TRANSIT and to tell you the truth, we are often in this phase and completely miss it. It means that all the potential satisfaction and pleasure that we gain from being there is missed because we are not doing the right things to notice. I’m going to talk about the fourth phase of transformation today. It is part of our four part series on transformation. You might recall episode 301: The Crumble , 302: Infinite Possibilities , and 303: Fight Mode . What happens after you’ve gone through this whole journey and you fought to get where you are and you land in Triumph IN TRANSIT ? The problem about not being mindful of this phase is that you have this opportunity to truly enjoy the fruits of your labor and might miss it in an instant because why, because our lives are constantly IN TRANSIT. And if we are in old modes, like our Fight Mode but in a new phase, we actually miss the best part of the phase were actually in. I’ll go into more detail in a little bit, but if you’re asking yourself, “Sundae, I don’t even know what phase of transformation I’m in. I haven’t listened to these podcasts yet.” Then all you got to do is spend two minutes and check out the quiz . We have in the show notes, it will tell you in a playful way where you are right now and then what you can do. I talk about Green Lights , things to do more of and stop signs, what you want to avoid for each and every phase and here’s the thing, if you know where you are but it’s not this phase, it’s still worth listening to because our lives are often in sort of a messy cycle and you will come around to this area eventually. So you want to make sure that you’re using the right strategies at the right time. So it’s worth listening to all four. Okay? I want to be really transparent about this topic of Triumph IN TRANSIT. Originally I planned on just diving straight in on what it is, right? It’s a place where you are harvesting the fruits of your labor. It’s the place that you’ve worked so incessantly to reach and now you’re there and you can just enjoy what you’ve built and it was going to just dive straight into things to avoid and things to do more of. But what I couldn’t shake was the fact that this very morning I was looking back on my life IN TRANSIT, I had a moment where I missed my life in South Africa. Here I am in Switzerland, I love my life here; there’s many new things. It’s not that I want to go back or wish I could rewind and change something, but it still means that there is longing for a time that I experienced there. And what was I longing for? I was longing for the Triumph IN TRANSIT right now. I am somewhere between Infinite Possibilities and Fight Mode. We have recreated our family in a new continent. We have put our children into institutions that they’ve never been to, in languages they haven’t spoken academically. I’ve taken on new roles that I haven’t had before and and I’m working on finding a way to get my exercise routine that I really enjoyed back in South Africa here, right? So, my life is not there anymore. And this morning when I was thinking about Triumph IN TRANSIT that I remember longing for that. I was longing for when my routine was set, when my health was on point, when date night was fixed, time with the kids guaranteed. And that is the point of Triumph IN TRANSIT and being aware of it, often, we have to experience it and realize we were not fully embracing it. Have it watch us pass us by and land in The Crumble until we really appreciate where we are now. This isn’t a way to look back with regret. I should have paid attention to it. I should have celebrated more. It’s actually, as a way to look with inspiration and say, “Hey, you got there once, you can get there again.” Okay. So today we’re going to look at what you should do if you’ve done the hard work and you are now starting to feel the fruits of your labor. Then how can you stay there as long as possible? Because as my mother always says, well, she quotes it from other more famous materials but, “This too shall pass.” This is also a phase which I find so fascinating. When my clients are in Triumph IN TRANSIT, they are like, “I have the house. I’ve got the kids, I’m doing the work I want. And now, someday, I don’t know if I want it anymore. I built this life and I don’t know if this is it.” And actually what’s happening is they have done the work, they’ve gone through all the phases, they fought for it, now they have it but the question is, “Did I do something wrong?” But more, “What’s next?” right? “What’s next?” Oftentimes, I talk to people who have wonderful lives and they feel guilty for not being more joyful about everything they have and of course, they should be practicing gratitude. They should be putting things in perspective. In terms of the privilege that they have used vis a vis someone else. There’s a lot of work that they could do to appreciate they are at. But often and when they do that work, the question is not, “Did I do the wrong thing or am I not appreciating enough?” But is it hard to hear the question. “What’s next?” “Do I feel guilty about saying, this isn’t enough? ” “Who would ever say that about having house security relationship security, family? No one would say that out loud” And it can also be true that you have that and appreciate it and are called to do something next. It doesn’t mean you’re going to leave those things. It’s that there’s something new emerging on top of it. So when you’re in Triumph IN TRANSIT, we want to be able to answer the question with affirmative, “Yes!” on is the juice is worth the squeeze when you work so hard in Fight Mode . Now that you have what you have, is this worth holding on to? Or are you ready to transform into something new, right? So what happens often in this phase that people do is that they get there and then they self-sabotage they say something like, “Well that was just luck. ” Or, “This is as good as it gets.” and they’re not really building on what they’ve already done. So we’re going to look really quickly at a few Stop Signs and a few Green Lights If you’re in Triumph IN TRANSIT. And the thing is, what I find very interesting about this phase is people have this idea that when you get to the phase where you have the business, with a revenue that you’re hoping for or your relationship has a depth of connection that you were yearning for. Whatever it is. They think that their life is going to be easier, but I’m sorry to tell you this, the reality is that your life is probably even more complex than it was before. Your life is still IN TRANSIT. You now are in a thick of soup of new changes and your body’s changing. Your health is changing, your relationships are changing, right? And some of my clients say, “Sundae, it’s like you burst my bubble.” You think, “Once I made it, let’s say in my marriage or as a parent or my business, that it’ll be easier,” but that’s not true. I don’t think it ever gets easier. Being a parent, it just changes. Same with your business. Same thing with your relationships. So what do we do with that? If that’s true that things don’t get easier. Once you’ve made it because we are breaking up for the idea, this Triumph IN TRANSIT that now, everything is simple. Then what do we do to actually put in some ease? And the first thing that you can do is Stop Upper Limiting . So a Stop Sign here is stop telling yourself, “This is as good as it gets.” So maybe you’re saying, “Well, my partner and I don’t fight anymore.” Really all that hard work and your goal is just not to fight? What if you could go even further and create connection, right? So Upper Limiting might be in your business. “Well, it’s okay. I’ve got five clients. But are you happy with that or do you want to have eight clients,” right? Telling yourself, “This is as good as it gets,” is Upper Limiting. And if you remember from the other phases, Infinite Possibilities is exactly that infinite. You got two more in you, there could be more ease. You could be doing less for more money, right? That’s a thing. Stop Upper Limiting. And I understand how easy that is to do. The other thing we need to stop doing is Failing to Recognize Your Success and Achievements. I often watch people say that, “Okay, I’m here and it’s amazing, but it was just luck.” And that is such a shame for all of the relentless hours that you put into your growth, into the courageous questions that you asked, into the things that you learned and maybe things that you invested in or studied. So one thing you can do instead is to pause and to notice what are the steps that took you to get there? I always say that celebrating is noticing. Really just say, “Hey, honestly, here’s what I did to get there,” and name those things. That will help you get there. And some of you there’s a bonus here around doing that. When you take stock of everything that you did to get there, you automatically put yourself into a better position to mentor others. You can use the hard work that you’ve invested, not only to repeat that for other areas of your life, but to share that with other people, right? So definitely pause and take stock. What have you done as a parent, as a business person, as a professional, for your health, for your sport, whatever it is to get to where you are today? Maybe I said, “Hey I set my alarm at 5 a.m. everyday,” or like me and I made my disgusting smoothie even though I don’t want to drink it and I did it. So what did it take to do that? So if we accept the fact that our lives are constantly IN TRANSIT, we have to accept that we won’t stay in Triumph IN TRANSIT forever. That’s the whole point. Triumph means to feel the satisfaction or the pleasure in that phase of transformation . And so the question is, what are some of the mistakes that people make when they’re in this phase? It actually sounds like an amazing phase but like we talked about before , life doesn’t just get easier. You just build better skills to handle what life brings you. So some of the things I think that we myself included, I’ve done this, I say this is my clients and we all need to be aware of is when we are in this phase of Triumph in transition and we finally are experiencing the things we’d hope for, one of the biggest things I see people do is that they completely forget that they haven’t always been there. And that means they forget to look back and celebrate the thousand steps that it took, the thousand things they did to invest in where they are today. So that’s one thing, I think that people do wrong is that they actually miss out on celebrating. And I don’t mean in a brag sort of way or like self-congratulating. I mean, celebrating is noticing and giving yourself the opportunity to feel that satisfaction, to feel the pleasure, right? Why not feel Triumph IN TRANSIT. We are going to need that joy bomb because what happens probably next is probably The Crumble. So you want to stay in that phase and enjoy that phase as much as possible. And that’s one thing that you can do is really to, take stock of what it took to get there. What you did. What was your contribution? And of course, maybe you have access to resources that other people don’t have. Or, of course, there might be an element of right timing, fair enough. And you also put yourself in positions where you would try something new where you would learn from a mistake, where you would go forward. So give yourself the credit to take credit where it’s due. You write a note, it and this automatically puts you into another opportunity. Now, when we’re in Triumph IN TRANSIT, you have figured something out that other people have. It may be people are on your level or ahead of you, fine. But there’s a lot of people that are further down the road in their journey, they are 500 steps back. And on your journey, you’ve learned where the boulders are and where the potholes are to step around. So in that process of taking stock of the steps, it took to get you there and bring you that success, you automatically position yourself to be a mentor for others on their journey. And their journey won’t be exactly like yours but there’s some hard-earned wisdom that you have that others can benefit from. So if you are in Triumph IN TRANSIT, consider how you might be able to show up as a mentor to others. Maybe it’s as a parent, maybe it’s as a coach, maybe it’s as a professional. Maybe it’s a community leader, right? If you have done the work and you fought the fight and you are there and are now experiencing the fruits of the labor, you can pass that on to others and make a positive impact. The other thing you can do is when you take note of that, you ask yourself, “Hey, what worked? Let me just do more of that.” What worked? Do more. And that will help you stay there longer, right? But of course, our lives and our businesses are always IN TRANSIT and we can’t always avoid the changes that are going to happen, and we can’t always predict them. Again, we have internal transformation, external, and performance-led . So while you are in Triumph IN TRANSIT, soak it in . Take a moment today to pause on what you’ve built. Take a moment today to sort of soak in how good it is now compared to when you began this journey. So it’s important for us to not take it for granted and if you are in this phase of Triumph IN TRANSIT, you can go even further to hold on to this satisfaction and pleasure by checking out my episode 190: Scale of Wholeness where what you’re doing is you’re calibrating and not just goal achievement. But how is it going with the balance of your health? How about your connections? Are they meaningful? Are you getting as much space as you need to think? Do you feel on purpose? So check out the Scale of Wholeness because the good thing that you’ve got now and what you’re harvesting now could be even better if you look at it from this lens of Scale of Wholeness. Now, if you are absolutely not in this phase, maybe you’re back in The Crumble , I want to give you some hope. It is worth paying attention to Triumph IN TRANSIT and recognize when you have been there in other times of your life. As I mentioned about missing South Africa, missing the routines we had, it gives me sort of energy, hope, comfort, going, “Hey, my life wasn’t always like that. There are things I did to establish that routine to feel that joy, to be able to get that success.” And now I’m implementing those strengths, those strategies, and those solutions that I’ve built in other contexts. So if you’re not feeling the Triumph right now, it is okay because it will come and you’ve been in that space in other areas of your life or other times of your life. And if you can go back and look at how you got there and know that it comes. And even if it goes, other areas of your life will also lend it to give you hope. Okay. So there you have it, Triumph IN TRANSIT. It is one of the phases of transformation I think we don’t talk enough about, and I think the disservice that we do is that we’re not terracing the work that we’ve done in the way that we could as deeply. And we’re not getting as much pleasure out of it. So why not? Who doesn’t want more pleasure and satisfaction? The other thing is we’re missing the opportunity to take stock for exactly how much we’ve learned and therefore forget that we could actually be a mentor for others. So, Triumph IN TRANSIT. I hope that if you were there right now, you’re going to apply some of these things to stay there even longer. And if you’re not there right now, I hope that it gives you inspiration on where you have been in that in your life. And that, how are you taking those steps you did then to get you there now in a different flavor, different form? But you got this, it’s coming. Just do the work and look back at the episodes, whether you were in The Crumble , Infinite Possibilities , or Fight Mode. And trust the process. All right. So back to the topic of mentorship, if you are living a life IN TRANSIT, let’s say you were part of the globally mobile community, and you’ve lived abroad for 14 years and you’ve moved to another country. You’ve got certification to help other people or whatever it is. And you’re feeling pretty okay with things, you’re pretty proud of how you’ve shown up for yourself or for your family and you haven’t yet taken the next step to mentor others. I think you and I should talk, you might be the perfect fit for Global Coach Coalition . It’s where we take the tools that I use to support people whose lives are IN TRANSIT and teach you those tools as well as support you in growing your own business so you can keep your business triumphant as long as possible. So that you can help other people get to Triumph IN TRANSIT in their own lives. So check out Global Coach Coalition . I’ve been talking about it for a few weeks in the group in are IN TRANSIT Hub . You can also get inspiration by coming to our free challenge, the 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge . Now, listen up, if you’re listening to this and it’s past the date, still jump in our group, the IN TRANSIT Community because you can check out the recordings there or you can be in contact with me. And we’ll help you get what you need. All right, everyone, I am so happy to celebrate these four areas of transformation with you. I want to just remind you that our lives are always IN TRANSIT. Wherever you are in your life or your business is totally okay. I hope that what you’re taking away from this four-part series is that all you have to do is recognize where you are in that thing that means the most to you right now, and then just avoid those Stop Signs and do more of the Green Lights, and the rest will take care of itself. And if you want to fast-track it or if you want to make sure you’ve got the right support at the right time, let me know. I’ve got Adapt and Succeed and my Coalition by my side to help you. Thank you for being here today. This is IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. Thank you for listening. I will leave you with the wise words of poet, Jean-Baptiste Paul Kelly. He says: “The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post 304: Triumph in Transit appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
If you want to learn about fighting, learn from the best. Back in 1964, World Heavyweight Champion Sonny Liston was considered unbeatable. Then, Cassius Clay, who later became known as Muhammad Ali, challenged Liston to what turned out to be a legendary boxing match. Before Ali got in the ring, an interviewer asked him about his Fight Mode prep, and how — when no one else could — Ali plans on defeating Liston. Cool as a cucumber, Ali replied, “I’ll float like a butterfly, and sting like a bee.” Notice how Ali didn’t say, “I’ll attack like a raging bull.” No. He used a gentle, graceful butterfly analogy. Floating takes less energy. And Ali knew that when in Fight Mode, you must conserve your resources for the long haul, stinging only when absolutely necessary. We’re suiting up for Fight Mode in the third part of our Bean Pod devoted to the four phases of transformation. And no, it’s not too late to take the fun, FREE quiz . You’re just two minutes away from pinpointing your transformation location. This week feels extra personal because I was born for Fight Mode. (I’ll tell you more about my childhood near-death experiences in the episode.) But whether it’s in your health, marriage, career, or whatever — everybody’s fighting something. So today, I’ll share traits common to the Fight Mode transformation phase. I’ll also guide you on ways to maximize your energy. Then, you’ll see the punches you need to duck, sense opportunities to know when to strike, and ultimately swing for the knockout to score the victory. What You’ll Learn in this Episode: Mind junk, dandy dolls, & lousy pushups Shutting up the “mean girl” in your head Getting your driver’s license in a foreign country Why Zumba’s harder with an audience Overly ambitious = consistency death Listen to the Full Episode: Featured on the Show: Ding! Ding! Ding! Whatever you’re fighting, I’m jumping into the ring with you. My 100% FREE 2023 Ambition Compass challenge is just getting started and you haven’t missed a thing. You won’t believe the deep level of coaching and surprises I have in store, so sign up right here . Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Tsuks Pro Fitness: trainer_tsuks Martha Beck Catch These Podcasts / Articles: EP301: The Crumble EP302: Infinite Possibilities We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript: Download Transcript Hello, it is 4 a.m. in New York, 10 a.m. in Johannesburg, and 4 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist, transformation facilitator, and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition. So, I was at a doctor’s appointment back in, I think, 2016. I’d originally come to her because I had a cold and she said, “I’m sorry, I don’t work with acute infections. I’m more of an integrative specialist but you can come back when you want to look at your overall wellness.” And because I was feeling a little bit up and down, in terms of, I think my hormones, I thought it was a good idea to just have my blood work done and check in with my general health. So, we met, I gave her my blood work, and she does a full examination. She looked at me and she said, “When I look at you and how happy you are and how productive you are, I don’t understand when I look at the blood work.” She said, “The only explanation I have is that you, one, are too good at your coaching strategies because of the level of productivity that you manage. But something else is going on in your body.” And she said, “It’s like you’re stuck in Fight Mode. You know, fight/flight, fawn or freeze. I am definitely a fighter. And it’s one of those things where you have to be careful that one of your strengths can also become a weakness. And it was in that time where I said to her, “What do you mean stuck on Fight Mode?” And then I was like, “Oh yeah!” We just left Burkina Faso suddenly because of the terrorist attack that was there and the conditions were changing. I solo parented by myself for, I don’t know, five months while our family was split across continents, while I was still running my business. And then in a very short notice, we decided to move to South Africa. We moved there. So, yeah, maybe I was stuck in Fight Mode. And the thing is, that has been my own journey, especially since then, where I’ve had to learn how to hold Fight Mode where it matters and create balance in other areas where I have to be careful of not being depleted, right? And some people they have the opposite problem. They don’t feel confident yet jumping into the ring. And fighting whatever it is, for your business growth, to get more clients, to work on your house, to fight for your marriage. Whatever it is. Or they jump in but then get out of the ring quick because they don’t think they have what it takes to stay and fight. Even if you were in the phase that we talked about last episode inspired by a dream that you discovered when you were in Infinite Possibilities. So, this is our dilemma. How do we do Fight Mode without depleting? And how do we start Fight Mode when we are frozen and scared to dive in the ring? So this is our third pod of a four-part series where we’re going to talk about transformation and how you’re showing up in your life and your business. So if you missed episode 301: The Crumble definitely go check that out or episode 302: Infinite Possibilities because they are jam-packed with information. And if you’re curious about what phase of transformation you’re actually in, then go ahead and take the quiz. It’s super fast and fun in the show notes, it will help you understand where is your area of focus right now and what area of transformation are you in based on that area of focus. And the good news is when we know where we are, we’re able to then identify the strategies that work for that phase. And that’s why I’m doing this 4-part series. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to transformation. We have to hone in and look at where you are and what are the things that will serve you right now? And what are the things they’re going to hold you back? Just like when I went to the doctor, she said, “This is now, you have to stop fighting.” You need to move into another phase. So knowing what strategies we need when we need it will definitely help you. And by the way, that simple comment from the doctor having someone really look at where I’m at from a very professional level of the signs. Here it was physical, for you, it might be in your business or In your professional craft. That was a pivot point for me to change everything in ways I never knew were possible. It unleashed potential in me that I didn’t even know existed. I was able to crash through limits that I didn’t even know I set for myself. So I really committed to this for you to understand where you are in your process and again, find out where you’re at. And then do what I call Green Lights, more of what works . And Red Lights, avoid what are the pitfalls so that you can really make the most of the phase that you’re in and then nurture where you are in transformation. So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today. I’m really excited. So for me, personally for better or worse, I was literally born for Fight Mode. I know I hear stories from my mother that she was bedridden with me, most of the pregnancy. So, I was fighting literally from the womb. I was born six weeks early, again fighting to get into this world. And I haven’t shared this. Within, I think six to eight weeks after I was born, I was diagnosed with double pneumonia and nearly died. So I literally, when I say that, I was born for fighting, Fight Mode, I think it’s in my genes. So throughout my life, I’ve had to work with that and then find out ways that now I can take that energy, that fight, and have it not depleted. So grateful that I’ve been on that journey because my life is full of so much more joy and I hope that people feel that joy because of the work that I did to know what I do with that energy. So for you maybe you’re a fighter too but you’re fighting in places that are start and stop, start and stop and you’re not seeing the results. You’re working hard but you’re just not getting to the place that you want to get, right? So, I hope this also resonates with you. Now, today to teach you a little bit more about Fight Mode, I’m going to use the analogy of what I learned when I did boxing in South Africa. So I lived in South Africa for six years and in the last year, I was so lucky to have an amazing boxing coach that would come to our home every Saturday and give us individual lessons for myself and my family. And wow, did I learn a lot about myself during that process. So big shout out to my coach, Tsuks , who was amazing. He’s also a leader, a teacher in boxing, but for yourself when you’re going through that process with him, you’re fighting and you’re at your limits. So shout out to him as well. Now, again, when we’re looking at the phases of transformation, we talked about The Crumble , that’s where you don’t know what the heck is going on. You’re lost. You might not have a vision of what’s next. Maybe something has been stripped away from you and you just need to literally cocoon yourself and take care of yourself and nurture yourself for that phase, but you don’t yet have direction, right? When you get into Infinite Possibilities , that phase is where you’re starting to open yourself up to the potential of something new emerging and that’s exciting. But there are Infinite Possibilities. And so, in that moment, when you realize that it’s exciting, you could do anything. And the question is, which one is the right one? You might be putting yourself under a lot of pressure to choose the right thing. Or you might be strewn with self-doubt to say, “Wait a minute, I’d love to do that, but do I have what it takes.” So that might sound familiar. You might have been there in your business, in a relationship, as a parent, as a community member. Whatever that is. Now let’s say you’ve gone through that. And again, it’s not quite that linear, it’s not quite that tidy. If we’re honest. Now, you have decided, this is the thing I want, right? Maybe someone told you you’d be a great coach, you ask great questions, you love supporting people, you want to let’s say support women’s empowerment. And you go to coaching training, you get your certificate and it’s like, “Okay, now I want to do the thing.” But people aren’t just running to your website to do the thing. And you now know what you want, you’re fully committed. Your whole body is on board, but it’s like, “How do I make it happen? How do I pay the bills? How do I make money? How do I serve people? How do I get the right people to work with?” That is the next phase of Fight Mode . And this is a challenging phase because now you can taste the dream. You have clarity, you know what you want but how do you get there? And that can feel overwhelming because it feels like an intangible journey. So this is what we’re talking about with Fight Mode. It could be something with business. It could be with your relationship. Maybe you’ve been married for 20 years and you’ve had kids and you have, you’re living, you’ve got your job and then you’re like, “Meh,” right? And you can taste it, you know what kind of connection you want, you know how you want to be as a couple. But man, how do you reverse 20 years of patterns? Or how do you get the courage to start interrupting patterns that aren’t serving you anymore? Or maybe you have a small child at home and you’re like, “Oh how do I create a routine so I don’t go crazy. How do I have a relationship and discipline and teach this child in a way that’s aligned with what feels right for me but is also effective.” So this is what I mean by Fight Mode. You’re at the cusp of really making an impact on something that is meaningful to you. But you have a long journey ahead. Or you have a journey. We don’t know how long it is, fair enough. So I want you to think about where in your life are you required to be in Fight Mode to be able to fulfill that dream or to reach that possibility that you’re now dreaming of? Maybe it’s a promotion at work, maybe you want to lead a team. Maybe you want to make a shift in your community to focus more on environmental issues. etc, etc. So here’s the thing. I have a few tips about Fight Mode, to keep you going, to keep you swinging. A lot of my clients are in Fight Mode, right? These are my clients I’ve usually brought from The Crumble, Infinite Possibilities and we want to feel the success, but we need to keep the motivation high in Fight Mode . And I’ll share with you some things you need to look out for. So first of all, I want to think about: Where in your life do you feel like you have clarity in what you want but you don’t dare really, really want it because you don’t know if it’s possible? You know the next step is to go from an idea to actually doing things in the real world to make it happen, right? That tough conversation, that application, the investment, whatever it is. So think of that in your mind because, of course, our lives are always in constant transition. And it might be one area of your life is Fight Mode but the others are in different places. So pick up the one where you’re at the cusp or you might be in the thick of it working hard at something and not really feeling the results that you want. So there we go. We got that one. Now you want to think about: What do I need to know that will stop me from making progress in this phase? And then what should I do instead? And believe me, this is called hard-earned wisdom. This is from my own journey. This is for my clients’ journeys, right? So, I’m just trying to help you avoid some of these bumps or work through them faster. So you don’t have to, you don’t learn as hard as those who’ve come before you. So the first one, I love to think about what I called those Stop Signs , right? We’re looking for Stop Signs, things that you need to keep in mind when you’re in this phase. And you have to do the work, pass the bar exam. Get into the university. I don’t know, get your driver’s in a country that doesn’t even speak your language. Whatever it is that you have to do. So, the first thing I have learned in my own life, but also with my clients is something that I saw happened in boxing. So, for example, if you’re boxing, there’s a defense position, and I’m sure my coach if he was watching this he would be like, “That’s not how you hold your hands.” But you have to hold your hands up to defend yourself, but still, see what’s happening. What I watch with my clients is what they’ll do is they will have their opponent right next to them, right? And that’s actually their goal, the thing that they want to achieve. And then what they’ll do is, they’ll look at the side of the ring and see the fighters that are in the next boxing class on the side. And in that moment, they get punched in the face. Because you keep your eyes on and your opponent. You need to know where you’re going and not get distracted from what’s happening left or right. You will literally get punched in the face if this happens. So what I see happening with my clients, whether you are a leader in a division or you’re a coach who has now officially a business. But they’re trying to get clients, is you turn your head and you look at those who are ahead of you and you get punched with compare and despair. Dr. Martha Beck calls it “Compare and Despair. ” Where you see that people are in a different place than you and it’s like a punch in the gut and it completely deflates you from any confidence. And the problem with that is that serves you ZERO for moving forward on your goal. Actually, you’re further back now, you got a bruise in the face, the wind is knocked out of you, and you’re on the ground. So now you have to use your energy to get up and get into Fight Mode. Do you see how useless that is? And I don’t know about you, but I have limited energy. So it is an absolute depletion of energy when you do that. Now, what you could do is, there’s one other thing you need to think about with that is, if I see the fighter on the side, who’s in the next class, who’s further ahead than me, and I start judging myself that I’m not there yet. It is completely contextual. It’s unfounded because you have no idea what access to resources they had. You have no idea what their network or relationship network is like to help them get to where they needed to go. You have no idea what they sacrificed to get there, things you’re not willing to sacrifice. You have no idea what they gave up to get there. So it’s not even relevant because their lives are different than yours. You’re not comparing apples and apples. You are in completely different contexts. So that’s another reason why it is an absolute waste of energy. But if you are looking to others who are ahead of you, then do it for inspiration, do it to say, “Hey how did they do that? If that’s possible, if they can do it then maybe I can do it.” So if you are going to look at where other people are in a different position from you, then draw inspiration from it, otherwise it’s a waste of your energy. And in boxing, what I’ve learned is you have to conserve your energy . Taking too big of steps or extra steps, or going too fast will not serve you. So you need to conserve your energy and that’s what you need in Fight Mode. This is the long haul, we have to be ready to fight until the Bell Rings, right? So conserve your energy, that’s the first thing I think it’s really important. And I really, really want you to get this point because I’m going to hit my 10th anniversary in my business this year. And I know it with my whole body how important that is. I always say that my energy is my biggest asset so conserve that energy and use it in really wise ways. Okay. The next thing you want to do, watch for Stop Signs is what we call Mind Junk , right? The thoughts that you’re telling yourself that again deplete you or are not even true . And I understand how easy that is, especially in the boxing context, there would be things that my coach would ask me to do and I’m, like, “No way in hell can I do that.” I’m sure I even use saltier language than that with my coach. I was like, “No, there’s no way I can do that,” and I already decided it wasn’t possible. And the funny thing about it is I had already given myself a limit of what was or wasn’t possible, and I haven’t even tested it yet. How funny is that? We tell ourselves we can’t do something but we haven’t even tried. So watch yourself. if you are giving yourself limits that you haven’t even tested. Or you’re the limit that you know is there but you haven’t started with small steps to work toward superseding that limit. So for example, I’ve had to work on my core. I have good cardio but strength is something that I didn’t have in my routine. And so, how do you build strength? You build it one rep at a time. I can’t do one of those pull-ups. But I was able to start by doing one lousy push up and then I did two lousy push-ups and then I did three and then I did one decent pushup, right? That is how you work through limits. My limit was: I can’t do push-ups. And then how do you work toward that to sort of stretch where your limits are? So honestly, I want to hear from you, what are the limits you set for yourself in your mind that you haven’t even tested yet? Because that is a really important one. Okay, so the next one is Neglecting to Celebrate . If you know my work, this is not a surprise, right? I always say celebrating is noticing . And this connects to energy. Why should we celebrate? Because when we noticed what we were doing? How we were showing up and we noticed the progress, we’re like, “Oh, okay, this is worth it.” It re-infuses you with energy to keep up the fight. Okay? So celebrating is noticing. And I remember during this year of boxing, I would take videos and watch my progress over time, it was so motivating because every Saturday morning I’d be like, “Ah, this sucks. I suck. This is hard,” right? And then I would see the video later and I’m like, “Oh actually, that is something I’m getting better at. ” And I go back and look at videos from four weeks ago and I would see the progress. So that’s important. Celebrating is noticing. Notice the progress and I mean this was my whole body because, when you’re trying to build something, it’s those micro moments of progress that are happening, but you aren’t noticing them. And therefore you’re missing it. And I remember with German it was like, oh I just want to learn how to order a beer in German without someone saying “Wie bitte?”. I wanted to just do that one thing and all of a sudden I was coaching CEOs in German and I had not spent any time celebrating the progress. I remember being frustrated because I was still struggling with some of the dandy dolls like the masculine, feminine, neutral in German. I was still focused on what I didn’t know what I wasn’t doing and I had missed completely that entire range of development in my language. I missed an opportunity to celebrate, I missed an opportunity to have joy and to infuse my motivation with more energy. So that’s important. I remember, also, when I was boxing, we had an afternoon when we were learning something new and I was like, “ Yeah. I don’t know how it went and it didn’t feel great.” I always have this thing, if it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t good, which isn’t true. Sometimes things that are uncomfortable, you’re doing well because you’re at your limits, you’re pushing your limits, you’re growing, but if it doesn’t feel good, you think it isn’t good. And I had that example with boxing and I went back and I took the video and I went on slow motion and I watched caption by caption. And I was able to only then look at the small steps and notice how cool that was when I slow down and objectively looked at that. So that leads me to the Green Lights , what you should do. So if you neglect to celebrate, you need to, then, a Green Light is to stop and notice the small steps , right? So let’s go in. If you are like, “Sundae, I’ve got every single Stop Sign that you mentioned,” no problem. I’ve had all of them. My clients have had all of them. And then you’re human right? That’s fine. So let’s look at the Green Lights, what are some things you can be doing in Fight Mode that will help bring you forward? So I think, one of the most important things you can do is Plan for the long haul . This is something that I teach in my program, Global Coach Coalition . I tell the my coaches, I said, “This is a long haul game. I am not a get rich quick person,” right? There’s no overnight success. You can go to other people and learn from them if you believe that. I think that’s bullshit, to be honest. So what we talk about is, what’s the Long Haul Game? and for Global Coach Coalition , it’s really important that people know you, they trust you, And they like you. And those are relationships. Those aren’t overnight. And building an audience, building a mailing list, building a suite of tools that you can use for your clients, that all takes time. Because it’s quality. So if you can plan for the long haul, that will help you, again from a boxing methodology, understand, if I have to be in the ring for 12 minutes, don’t give all of my energy in the first three because I will get pummeled for the next six minutes if I don’t eek my energy out in wise ways. So plan for the long haul. Have a realistic look at what it takes. So for example, the thing I see with a lot of my clients will come to me and they say, they want to start a business, they have conversations with their partners at home and they’re like, “Yeah, it’s an investment. What should we do?” And the partner inevitably says, “We’ll just look at after one year if it’s profitable and then you can decide whether you close it or you do something else. ” And this is really hard for me because I think most small businesses, they need about three years to really set up a foundation and become profitable. I mean, Google it. Go look it up but usually, small businesses are not profitable in the first year. In fact, I remember my first year of business, I went to my husband and I was outraged. I told him how much money I made and then I told him how much I spent. And I had made 1000 dollars more than I spent. And worked a whole year. I was outraged, I was like, “Are you kidding me? What am I doing this for?” And he said, “Congratulations.” He said, “You made a profit in your first year. That’s not normal. You didn’t have to spend money.” And I realized that that framing is really important for people to know because otherwise you have this beautiful business that you invested in for a year and then you stopped all of the seeds you planted. When actually the fruit of your labors is going to happen in year two and three. That’s what happened for my business. Every business is different, but I think it’s important for you to get a realistic picture of what the long haul is. And that could be anything, it could be a business, it could be a relationship, it could be parenting, it could be leadership, it could be community development, right? If you don’t know what it takes to achieve your goal and you can’t break it down into small phases, realistically. Then talk to someone who’s been down that road so that you can get a reality check of what it takes. The next one, if you are going to plan for the long haul, how do you move forward? And that’s all about Consistency . Check out my podcast Consistency Commitment because I talked about the importance of, how do you capitalize on taking action in predictable chunks over time? And that’s exactly what happened with boxing. I would do an intense workout on Saturday with my coach, about an hour and a half. And then on Wednesdays, I would do 2 x 7 minutes intensity strength building. I would probably go for a run once or twice throughout the week as well. So it was over time, I was able to keep my fitness. If I had not taken consistent action in my health with my strength building and cardio, and I’m not exaggerating, I would have literally vomited or spontaneously combusted at boxing, right? We have to take consistent action, whatever the goal is, and it’s important to have more doable consistent action. A 20 minute run, a 2 x 7 minute workout, is then too ambitious. And here’s why. With boxing, I’m like super motivated. Let’s do this intense workout. We’re going to do 3 x 7 minutes. And we do the extra one. I can’t walk the next day. My muscles hurt, right? That did not work, too ambitious leads to inconsistency. So that’s the sort of sweet spot you want to reach with your own action. So check out episode: Consistency Commitment . I’ll have us put it in the show notes so you can check it out later. Okay, so that’s another green light. The other one is very connected to mindset. When I was talking about how the Mind Junk comes in, what I would suggest you do, a Green Light is to write down the thoughts. I’ve shared this in other episodes. When I am up-leveling or when I’m being challenged in new ways, my mind junk will come in. And what I do is I go into my phone and I’ll put it, you can put it under a mind junk notes , or whatever, and you write it down. So that you can look at it and then, and then playfully laugh and be like, “Wow, really? That’s where your mind went. Amazing. ” And you can then take the power from those thoughts and not have them be true. And just notice yourself having the thought. That will help you conserve your energy. Try it out. I always like to write it down and then I read it in a really whiny voice, like, “Oh, no one’s gonna whatever. ” I love to be playful and hear that whiny voice in my head. I have clients who talk about, “Mean girl.” I have other clients who call, we call it, “Amy G Dala,” like the amygdala yelling at you. “Amy G, what she has to say.” Just create some distance from it, it’s not the truth, it’s just mind garbage going through your head. Okay so those are some Green Lights for Fight Mode. And of course when we take the boxing analogy, it’s so important to take first class care of yourself . If I on Friday night, went dancing and drank my face off with my friends and got two hours of sleep, do you think that would be able to box the next day? No. Not that, there’s anything wrong with going out and having fun with your friends and dancing, and having a few drinks. But it’s, if you are not taking care of yourself, big picture, you can’t show up, right? So what are the small things you can be doing to keep your energy that would be from your mindset? That would be from consistency. That would be keeping your eyes you know on your goal not looking at other people. It would also be those small things around making sure you’re hydrating, getting enough rest, watching alcohol, and coffee, etc. So are you committed to first-class self-care? And that might just be setting a boundary. We know self-care isn’t bubble baths. It’s way bigger than that. It’s doing good things. But what can you do to take care of you? Because this is the long haul. Okay. I was so excited before I started this podcast episode, I can tell this is the place that I usually live and I love Fight Mode. I love it. I love it. Not everybody loves it. But I love it with my clients because I know you can do it. I know, all we got to do is watch out for doable action. Look at your mind crap. Consistency. Keep your eye on your goal. I know you can get through this. I just had a client write me, and she said, “Oh, I just want to let you know there’s a client that came out of nowhere.” That when you do the work, she had done something like a podcast and got her message out, and magically someone found her and now she has a client and it wasn’t even hard. It just happened, there was no sales call, went straight into it and that is what I’m talking about. If you do the work consistently, the fight will pay off . And then you’ll start to feel the ease. I love this phase. And here’s the last thing, if you are in Fight Mode and you’re working on your Stop Signs and your Green Lights, there’s things that you know you can do or you know what you should do next, but you’re struggling with taking what you know, to actually doing it. And the magic trick to that is really simple. It’s accountability . Can you have someone like I did a coach by your side to say, “You know what, three more push-ups.” When you want to give up, they’re like, “Nope, give me two more or when you want to give up, they say, do one more. We take a water break and then you come back and do again,” right? Do you have someone by your side whether it’s your BFF, another biz friend, a coach, a group of people that are in the same boat as you. That is scientifically proven to help you up level how you show up for yourself, right? When we have accountability partners, it can impact the likelihood of us reaching our goal to as much as 95% . It’s like, when you go to a Zumba class and someone’s in the class with you, you actually Zumba harder than if you were by yourself in your living room. All right. So there we have it. That is Fight Mode. I can’t wait to talk to you about Triumph in Transition, in the next episode. That is where you get to feel all the fruits of your labor. But guess what? Transformation isn’t tidy, and it’s not linear, without end, it is kind of a messy cycle, and you want to hang onto that Triumph in Transition as long as you can. So if you enjoy this series, then don’t miss out on our free challenge . We have a four week challenge, helping you work through your ambitious goals and understand where you are in transformation. So join us inside the free community on Facebook, the IN TRANSIT Hub . I will deep dive into each phase even more and help you understand how you can shape your transformation, know better where you are. And speaking of accountability, I want to let you know we have been talking about my program Adapt and Succeed for the last few weeks. That is for people whose lives are IN TRANSIT and want more support. If you are a do-it-yourself person, you can just grab the program and then guide yourself to help you reach those goals. You’ll be supported in Fight Mode. But maybe you are a coach, psychologist or practitioner who actually wants to support others more in their transition. And deep down, you need some help with your own business because you are a lover, not a fighter because you’re all about the supporting of people side, but you’re not used to fighting from the business side or maybe the marketing or sales side, right? That is then totally for you, check out Global Coach Coalition . We open the doors and it is to help you, not only have amazing tools that help people in transition but also kick yourself into gear from the business side so that you can reach what only now feels like a possibility. So check it out. I would love to have you part of the Coalition . We really talk about best practices and helping people in their transformation and transition process, even if it gets tough. And we go hard on the business side plus it is not just a program, it is actually a community, and we’ve been together for going on four years. So I would love to support you as you up level how you support people in transition and how you support yourself in your professional transition. So let me know. This is the only time I’m going to offer it in 2023. There’s limited spots, we already have many pre qualified people that I’ve been on the phone with. So send in your application let’s have a talk and we’ll see if you want us by your side while you’re in Fight Mode. Remember it’s me and two dozen other professionals who are united by our commitment to get really amazing strategies into the hands of people who are living globally mobile lives, and take care of yourself in your own business. So check it out. I’d love to meet you and have a conversation. And if that’s not your jam , join us in the IN TRANSIT community and take part in the challenge. All right, you’ve been listening to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. Thank you for listening. I’ll leave you with this last anonymous quote: “One isn’t necessarily born with courage but one is born with potential.” Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post 303: Fight Mode appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
What if I told you that some of the best things in your life haven’t even happened yet? Unpredictable, unplanned, heck, even unimaginable from your current perspective, these shifts will catapult you into the phase of transformation I’ve titled: Infinite Possibilities. And if this sounds exciting that’s because it is, however, this stage isn’t all rainbows and lollipops. I refer to it as “the freeze phase” for a reason. And that’s because people in the Infinite Possibilities stage frequently (and painfully!) bounce between “I can do anything” to “I suck, and this is never going to happen.” For the second part of our Bean Pod dedicated to the four phases of transformation, we’ll deep-dive into Infinite Possibilities. (Did you *recently* take the fun, FREE quiz to discover which phase of transformation you’re in? If not, consider doing it again because where you land is a rolling truth.) So this week, I’ll share some distinguishing characteristics to help you recognize that you’re currently inside the Infinite Possibilities transformation phase. Then, I’ll reveal a few stop signs and green lights to watch out for, and what to do when (not if) you encounter them. What You’ll Learn in this Episode: Having to settle for Mr. Peanut Teetering on the cusp of something great Capturing “that” feeling before poison sets in Answering someone else’s questions Staying small & playing it safe Listen to the Full Episode: Featured on the Show: Do you need more clarity and direction about your transformation? Are you a professional who’s responsible for guiding others through transition (or you want to be)? You’re in luck because my 100% FREE Ambition Compass challenge starts this week! I’ve never offered intensive, 360-degree coaching like this before in a public challenge, so sign up right here and bring a friend! Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? 2023 Ambition Compass Challenge Catch These Podcasts / Articles: EP301: The Crumble We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript: Download Transcript It is 3 a.m. in New York 9 a.m. in Johannesburg and 3 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I’m an intercultural strategist transformation facilitator and solution-oriented coach. And I am on a mission to help you adapt and succeed through ANY life transition. I often tell people that I’m glad I can’t plan out my life in detail because some of the best things that’ve ever happened to me were completely unplanned and really unpredictable. My life has transformed and continues to transform in ways that are well beyond anything that I could imagine. So you might say that the universe is just a little bit more creative than me. So today, we are talking about exactly that, the things that we haven’t yet imagined or never think are possible can end up happening to you. And my life is a testament to that. And we are in the second pod of a four-part series where we’re stepping back and we’re looking into transformation and how it is showing up in your life and business. So if you follow my work you know that I see transition differently than most people, I truly believe that our lives are always in transition. Life is in constant transition and that transformation often falls into one of three categories : Internal-led . Something coming from inside you out. External-led . Something has happened and it’s happening to you and it’s kicking off a transformation Performance-led . You have a big goal that you want to achieve. Some of you are lucky enough to have all three going on at the same time. So the thing is we want to look at where we’re putting our focus. It depends on what area of our life is capturing our attention, which area of our life is transforming in a way that is glorious, or it might feel out of control or scary. So I want you, in this episode to think about, what area of your life is most pressing for you? And I want to see if you know, which phase of transformation in that area of your life is in? This is part of the entire series. Last week, we did The Crumble and this week we’re going to dive into the next phase, and if you don’t know or you want to get a kick start in understanding, which area of your life is most pressing to you and which phase of transformation you’re in, check out my short quiz , it’s playful and fast, it’s in the show notes. And then it will help you understand where you are. And if you took this, let’s say some months ago, or a year ago, take it again because you might not be in the same place you were before. All right, so let’s get started. I want to have some fun today. Again check out episode 301: The Crumble because that is the first phase we talk about. And transformation, we talk about it in many ways, there are many thought leaders who look at transformation, and what I’m doing is I’m sharing with you the ways I’ve seen people go through transformation in my work. I’ve been with people for well over a decade and this is a beautiful up close lens at what I see people go through. Okay, so let’s dive into the second phase and this episode and it is called Infinite Possibilities. Now in Switzerland, peanut butter is considered an American thing and when you go to the grocery store, they might not have it. And there is a store that I know does have it and you walk in and there are there only two choices, it’s creamy or chunky. And I think the name of the peanut butter is Mr. Peanut. So, that’s it. You go in choice one, choice two. And sometimes I sit in front of it and I’m like, “Creamy? Do I like it? My kids like chunky. What I’m in the mood for? ” So I stand there for a second and I make my choice. I Googled peanut butter in Switzerland and there were two million results that came up, which I thought, “ Okay. One option of a product we can have in the store. And we’ll make a decision.” But in the U.S., if you Google it, there aren’t two million results that come up. There are 20 million. In fact, peanut butter is such a thing in the U.S. that there are over 3,000 people who are employed in the peanut butter production industry in 2023. So the U.S. takes her peanut butter very seriously. In fact, there’s a whole aisle of peanut butter And because I don’t live in the U.S., when I go back to the U.S, I go into the peanut butter aisle and there’s this initial like moment of delight where I’m like, “Oh look at all these options, ” right? And then, do you know what happens? I freeze. I go into complete overwhelm. And that is what Infinite Possibilities feels like . So if you resonate with this story with some other area of your life, you’re probably in Infinite Possibilities, right? You have this moment, let’s say it’s in your business, you just got your coaching certification and you’re working on your website and you’re like, “Anything is possible. I could work with my dream clients. I could make a lot of money. I could pay for business class when I fly like,” whatever. You’re excited, you’re totally open and you’re ready to create a flexible schedule and work around your hours. And it’s delightful and then overwhelm and self-doubt creep up. You ask yourself, “Is it possible? How will I do that? What will it take? Do I have what it takes?” And this phase, while you’re probably happy you’ve moved on from the crumble, where you were feeling, maybe loss or confusion, you are plummeted by questions, including a really important one that emerges and that is, “What next?” And when we have infinite possibilities the answer to what’s next could be anything and we don’t have a guarantee, right? And that’s why Infinite Possibilities is both delightful and can be difficult. No wonder people freeze in this phase. So if you have a moment, that’s where you think, “Hey, anything’s possible.” And then the next moment you’re like, “I suck. This is never going to happen. ” Then you’re probably in Infinite Possibilities. I get it. So this is especially for people who are starting a new business, maybe have shifted their profession. Maybe you’ve moved to another country or you just started at a new organization or maybe you have just started a family. There’s this moment of your life in transition where we are at the cusp of something but you haven’t yet established results or a routine that match. One of a thousand dreams that are in your head, right? And that’s normal. Remember your life is IN TRANSIT and this is a natural phase of transformation and I’ve got your back. So as we did in episode 301 , I’m going to share with you some signs on things that are Stop Signs , what you should stop in its tracks. And what you could do more of what are the Green Lights. Again, this is really complex. We’re going to go into this in more detail in the quiz . If you take it as well, there are some podcasts I’ve recommended. And what I haven’t mentioned yet is we are doing a free challenge all of February 2023 , deep diving into these phases of transformation and to help you understand your complex life. Whether it’s your professional life, your personal life, your community life, etc, etc. Which area of transformation are you in for that area that is meaningful to you? And then, what do you do to nurture that phase so you make the most of it? What are you doing that’s sabotaging you? And what can you do to move forward? So, if you haven’t signed up for that free challenge yet, do so because all kinds of goodness is going to happen. If for some reason you’re listening to this episode later and the challenge has past, make sure you’re part of my IN TRANSIT Hub community because we have all the materials inside there. Okay. So, back to stop signs and green lights. Stop signs. If you were in Infinite Possibilities and you’re doing this, we need to pause and find out ways to work around it: Stop sign one is if you are avoiding the hard questions . So if you’re in Infinite Possibilities and you are avoiding the hard questions, you need to knock it off. So these are the hard questions; What do I actually value? What do I really want? What are my ambitious goals? Now, why would you avoid questions like this? These are important questions. Why? Because you’re afraid? What if you don’t like the answer, right? What if you value something that is absent in your life? What if you want something that feels really unattainable? What if you name your ambitious goal and you feel the self-doubt on whether you can actually achieve it? That is why people don’t even ask the question because then what they have to do is grapple with the answer. And I get that but the answers are exactly what you need to do to move forward in this phase and it brings up a whole host of other things. We’ll talk about that more as we go, but you need to face the answers. So a stop sign is to stop avoiding these luscious questions. These are juicy questions that will bring you so much in your life. Name them right. People do this as well because they want to play it safe . And another thing we need to stop doing is playing it safe. And this is how it happens with my clients. They are in Infinite Possibilities and then one of them, let’s say it’s about their business and then a friend says, “Hey, we should do this thing together. You can join me with my idea and we’ll do it together.” And it’s tempting because they already have the vision. You have so many possibilities, you don’t know what to do. Well, they know what to do. So you go and join them but now you’re joining them on their dream and their answers to what they value and what they really want. So don’t play it safe by acting on the first opportunity that comes your way or the first idea that comes your way because usually, those ideas are just the safe ones where you play small. So, watch out for those if those are happening in your life. If you’ve got it, no problem, right? It’s tempting, I get that, with this is the thing sitting in the discomfort is uncomfortable. So allow yourself to resist that because it’s worth sitting in that discomfort. And so if you are someone who actually works with individuals like expats or those who are in transition, you might catch people doing this. Your clients with thoughts like, “I’m just being foolish.” Or, “I don’t have what it takes to do this.” Or, “That will be too hard.” That is precisely why they need someone like you to catch them in their tracks on these limiting small thoughts. So you ask yourself if you are in Infinite Possibilities or you’re supporting people who are, what are some green lights or things that you can do here? Now, I’m going to chime in here with, I think it’s kind of an embarrassing analogy. Maybe a little bit too much information about like my former life, but work with me here. Okay, so green light. This is many, many, many, many moons ago, you’re in college, you’re on the dance floor, you are feeling amazing. Maybe it is from the Vodka/Red Bull but the music is right. You’re dancing, you feel amazing you’re flirting with people and you need to go the bathroom. So you leave the dance floor and you walk into the bathroom and you see yourself in the mirror and you are an absolute mess like mascara running, hair ratty, sweaty. And how you felt on the dance floor is not represented in the mirror and it’s like this cold reality check, right? And now stay with me, I said it here because this is the thing. What happens in Infinite Possibilities, we have moments where we feel on fire like we do on the dance floor. But instead of alcohol and dripping mascara, it is the negative cultural programming or unhealthy family patterns that are making you see yourself like crap. Let me say that again. One is just a chemical reaction in your body and sweat and mascara limits of reality. The other, when it happens in our infinite possibilities is we go from on fire and feeling alive to self-doubt. And those factors that are weighing us down are completely outside the bus because we’ve just gobbled up dogma from our culture about what’s possible. What’s not for your gender or your identity or your social class, or whatever, right? Or those messages we got as in family hood, maybe of a toxic relationship, or maybe your parent was a narcissist or maybe your family was really dismissive. Those things make you feel like crap. All right, so what do we need to do because we can’t help it that those things pour in that. That takes years of work. And probably a really good therapist to undo all of that programming. So, what do we do in the meantime? We need to capture those moments like when you’re on the dance floor, if someone were to take a picture and see the joy in your face and capture the lights and the music. Capture that feeling . And so in your own life, when you have those moments of inspiration before the bullshit pulls in that drains you down: Write them down. Tell a friend. Write down the wildest ideas. The moments where you give yourself permission to believe in yourself. And don’t yet analyze them or overanalyze them, just get them down. So you can notice which one makes you feel most alive, right? Because when that negative messaging pours in, you’ll need to go back to that. And I have other podcasts on this about how to up level when this happens to me. When I know I have my own lies, I tell myself, I discovered them in 2008, two of them are, “It’s going to take a long time and this is going to be difficult.” And I realize those are the thoughts I let pour in when I’m in that moment of infinite possibility. And I work through them and I don’t let it stop me. I capture those moments. of inspiration and remind myself of what’s possible. And then when I work toward– and we’ll talk about that next in next episode, when I work toward the thing that I’m dreaming of, those thoughts, then go to the wayside. But guess what happens when we go to the next level? We want the next best thing that’s in our lives, and our hearts. But I’ll come back again. So capture those thoughts when they’re there. And if you want to learn more about up leveling, go ahead and check out the podcast in the show notes. Okay, so there we go. Infinite possibilities. If you’re there capture, tell a friend, this is another great strategy. Tell a friend in that moment of belief because they’re going to be there when you’re low and they’ll say, “Hey, wait a minute, remember that idea you had,” they believe in you, they know it’s possible and they can help keep you accountable. The key to this phase is to hold that discomfort. Hold the tension between believing in what is possible and acknowledging the limiting ways we think about things hold real constraints in society and in our world. And the possibility that you might find a way to overcome that. And giving yourself permission to hold that discomfort will keep you in this phase in the best possible way. To keep you in there and doing the work and not skip ahead to a phase that would just help you rebound backwards. So another green light here is when you seek out support . You don’t do this alone. Again, bringing a friend, tell them those dreams, tell them ideas on what you think is possible. Or, of course, work with a qualified coach or counselor to help you move forward on the journey, right? So stay tuned for the next episode. I’ll talk about the next area of transformation, which is the Fight Mode. But for now I want you to think about what areas of your life are in infinite possibility? Is it your professional path? Is it how you want to engage with your family? Is that what you want to create in the community? Is it around some health goals that you have? Is it something around your relationship with something bigger than you? Something spiritual or religious? That is so fun to think about what’s possible, right? Okay, so this is Infinite Possibilities. I love this phase. I love working with people in this phase. This is a phase that is so wonderful to hold someone’s hand and say, “Hey this is possible. Let’s just take step by step. And let’s look at really what is what helps light your fire.” If you again if you want to go deeper and you want to know more about this, don’t miss the challenge them offering inside the IN TRANSIT community in February because we’re going to go in deep dive and talk about how we can actually do the good work in this phase so that you get that growth and learning. And then we’ll move not necessarily faster in like pushed/forced, sort of way, but in terms of not staying stuck where you are. Okay, so there you go. And as I mentioned in the last few weeks, we have an upgraded program of Adapt and Succeed , which is perfect for you if you are living your life IN TRANSIT and you want more support, check it out . I’ve got Global Coach Coalition by my side. I deliver the content, the material, they help you get the one-to-one support. So, check it out If you are looking for someone, we’ve got coaches psychologist, other practitioners who totally are defined by lives IN TRANSIT, geographically and personally, so let me know if you want to be paired with a member of the Global Coach Coalition and check out Adapt and Succeed . I’m totally here for you. And if you are someone who wants to work with those IN TRANSIT, if you work with a globally mobile community, or you are on fire about supporting people, when their life is in transition, don’t miss out on Global Coach Coalition . We open the doors and it is full of one part best practices on helping people adapt and succeed in transition. Even when it gets really tough, it is also one part business booster and 100% world-class community. So check it out . It’s all about up leveling. So if you’re in Infinite Possibilities in your business, and you’re wondering exactly who would I want to work with? How would I add value? How can I reach the next level of my business, this is really perfect timing for you. And it is, I’m quite certain, the only time I’m going to offer it in 2023, so if you’re thinking about it now is the time. This is the fourth year that I’ve offered it and every step of the way we’ve improved it. And this year includes the upgrades with the Adapt and Succeed program . So, I’m really excited to see who’s interested. If you want to talk and learn more about Global Coach Coalition, apply . It’s in the show notes and we can have a conversation. I can’t wait to see who is in Infinite Possibilities. Let me know in an email reply to my newsletter. Check it out on social media and tell me if you were in Infinite Possibilities and don’t forget to join us. Imagine what’s possible if you and I work together for four or five months and you’ve got these other amazing professionals by your side but proven strategies at your fingertips, to help those in transition to help people whose lives or businesses are IN TRANSIT. I think it could be amazing. You’ve been listening to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Schneider-Bean. Thank you for listening. I’ll leave you with the wise words of Eckhart Tolle: “When you become comfortable with uncertainty, infinite possibilities open up in your life.” Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post 302: Infinite Possibilities appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
Who else has had enough of toxic positivity? Life is hard; the trauma going on in our world is hard; the stuff happening in your individual world is hard; being IN TRANSIT is hard; transformation is hard. No one gets a free pass. So then why do we insist on sanitizing our reaction to such absolute truths? Why do we consider ourselves an exception to the human experience? What if instead of pretending, avoiding, or misrepresenting our “crumble,” we shooed shame away and allowed ourselves space and grace to fully *feel* the hard. As the dust settles upon 2023, many of you have confided in me that you sense this will be a year of transformation for you. I get that feeling too. So let’s get back to basics with a four-part Bean Pod to help you understand and hack each of the four phases of transformation. This week, I’ll first provide a refresher on the three primary varieties of transformation: internal-led, external-led, and performance-led. (And YES, you might self-identify that you’re simultaneously experiencing two, or all three types!) Then, I’ll break down The Crumble phase. And if you recognize yourself in it, I’ll give you language to meet you where you are, and tips for how to get yourself on the other side. What You’ll Learn in this Episode: No square skipping When procrastination sabotages performance The version of “The Crumble” that’s tougher to detect Danger of premature transformation Accepting the loss of control Listen to the Full Episode: Featured on the Show: Need a little help to figure out which phase of transformation you’re in? I got just the trick! Take this fun, FREE quiz right here , and find out lickety-split. Sundae’s Website Sundae’s Facebook Business Page – Sundae Schneider-Bean LLC Sundae Bean – YouTube Adapt and Succeed Amel Derragui IN TRANSIT Hub Global Coach Coalition Quiz: Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? Catch These Podcasts / Articles: EP265: New Name, Same Soul EP286: Upgrade Your Operating System EP266: The Constant Transition EP 269: Rest vs Recovery Tandem Nomads EP266: The Journey To Brand Evolution And Transformation with Sundae Bean . EP217: Life In Limbo EP299: Transition Essentials With Natasha Nkonjera We’re delighted to be in the Top 5 of the global Best 30 Expat Podcasts ! Subscribe: iTunes | Android Full Episode Transcript: Download Transcript Hello and welcome to another very special edition of IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I am back in Switzerland. And this is our three hundred and first episode airing on the podcast’s 6 birthday. Before we dive into this episode, I want to say “thank you” for being here. We’ve officially crossed the mark of 300 episodes. This is episode 301 and is the podcast’s sixth birthday. It is 4 a.m. in New York, 10 a.m. in Johannesburg, and 4 p.m. in Bangkok. Welcome to IN TRANSIT with Sundae Bean. I am an intercultural strategist, transformation facilitator, and solution-oriented coach, and I am on a mission to help you adapt & succeed through ANY life transition. So join me in celebrating this 6th birthday of the podcast. If you are an avid listener, you know that the last episode was our 300th episode. And we celebrated all week long. That celebration continues because it is our 6th birthday here at the podcast. And thank you to those of you who shared with us the podcast that made the difference for you. Our Rest and Recovery podcast has been a big hit as well as episode 286: Upgrading Your Operating System as well as all of the other episodes that were to do with transformation . So we are going to focus on that process in this episode today. And what better time than on the first anniversary of my brand evolution? So as a side note if you want to get a behind-the-scenes view on the evolution of this podcast and my brand that is marked by this year, then you can check out episode 265: New Name, Same Sou l, there’s a totally different view that it was a guest on Tandem Nomads podcast with Amel Derragui 266 , she talks about the journey of mine on the brand evolution into transformation. So you get a sneak peek of what was happening behind the scenes with all of that. So, if you haven’t listened, go ahead and check it out. So because we’re talking about transformation, we’re celebrating these moments of evolution and looking at where we started and where we are now. It’s only fitting that we focus on that for you today. We want to look at your own business and personal transformation, right? And I want to help you look at where you are in your own process, and how you can be showing up in your life or business depending on that exact moment of transformation that you find yourself in. So today’s episode kicks off a four-part pod or series where we look at transformation. So if you are someone who’s asking yourself, “Well I kind of feel like I’m in some sort of transition and transformation, but I really don’t know where. But something feels like it’s off or it feels outside of my control,” this is exactly what you want to check out. Most of my listeners when we dive deep on this say that, “It’s almost creepy,” because they understand exactly how it fits into their life. They finally have words for what they’re experiencing. And the bonus part about this episode in this whole series is that if you are someone who works with people who are in transition like working with expats or the globally mobile or you want to this will help you get language around that process. You can also apply it to your own business. So I’m excited. I’ll share more about why that’s relevant too at the end of our episode today. But first we’re going to look at some of the basics: Now number one, when we think about where we are in transformation, it’s important for us to think about our lives and how it’s in constant transition , right? I say more about that, in episode 266: The Constant Transition . But we really have to keep in mind that our transitions are rarely singular. They are most often layered. And that means at any given point of your life. You could be going through geographical location, maybe your family is evolving. Your body may be changing. Maybe some key relationships are forming or even dissolving. And I don’t know, maybe the economy is fluctuating, and there could be global politics and those dynamics are shifting. Does this sound familiar? That our lives are constantly IN TRANSIT, right? And let’s start with that, that’s important for us to acknowledge Because it helps us give ourselves a little bit of grace for everything that we are navigating. I had a client do this exercise that I do about ambitious transformation in transition at the end she said, “To be honest, Sundae, everything they’re listed was something I was aware of but until I saw how much I was dealing with at one time, was I able to actually give myself some grace for carrying that.” So I hope you can take inventory in your own life, how your life is constantly IN TRANSIT and take note of how many layers. So now in addition to that, that is the soup that we are swimming in that is constantly shifting and changing. At the same time, we are going through a transformation in our lives and it might be one of three types of transformations : Internal-Led. That means you wake up one day and you’re like, “Um. No, no longer working for me. ” Whatever that status quo is for you. But you wake up and you know something has to change, but you might not know what it is, right? That was a sign of an internal-led transformation. Maybe the city you’re living in just feels like a jacket. That’s too tight. Maybe the job that you’re doing feels like a pair of shoes that no longer fit. Whatever that is that is an internal-led transformation . Then, of course, we have the External-Led Transformations , meaning change happened and you have to adjust. I don’t know, maybe it is an energy crisis on the continent or maybe there was a break in your relationship that you did not see coming. No matter what it is, you are now put into a situation where you need to try to bounce back from a back slide or at least try to rebuild after things have shifted. That is a sign that your life is in an external-led transformation. Whether you like it or not, that’s happening. Then, there’s a third kind of transformation and that is Performance-Led. And that is this desire you feel to achieve a really big goal and whatever that big goal means for you. Maybe it means doing less at work so you can do more with your art. Or maybe it means getting that promotion. Or maybe it means hitting that significant revenue mark in your business. Whatever it is, it’s what you’re dreaming about. You might even be planning or you might have that goal but you’re stuck in years of procrastination. Whatever that is, it’s a sign that there is a performance-led transformation going on in your life. And the interesting thing about that is maybe one resonates with you, you’re like, “Oh, completely. My life is in the middle of an external-led transformation.” Or maybe you say, “Oh this is all internal and thankfully now I have a name for it.” Or you might be someone who says, “Actually, I feel like I’ve got all three going on at the same time.” At least now you’ve got language for that. And regardless of how you feel like you’re being driven in terms of transformation, you know you need a plan to get on the other side of that transformation. And you know that just getting organized or thinking positive or putting in the time, whatever that is is not enough, it’s not going to cut it. You need to do something differently to create a life that is overflowing with purpose and meaning and balance, right? And that’s what I’m all about. That’s what I am here for. So I want us to spend the next four episodes talking about in what ways our lives are in transformation? Where are we in this journey? And I want to have a little fun while we do this along the way. So to get started, I want you to ask yourself; What phase of transformation am I in? And to help you out, I have a very short quiz . I think it’s literally seven super quick questions. And what I’ve heard from those who’ve done the quiz is that the results are creepishly accurate. Again, my people are saying, “Sundae, it’s like you are in my brain.” And they say that the support I give after you do the quiz is far beyond what they expected. So go check it out. I’ll put it in the show notes. You go on my website, SundaeBean.com , and there’s a simple question at the bottom or the top that says, Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? Do the quiz, you’ll get results instantly. Or you can go to the show notes and get the quiz. What we will do, in the next four episodes, is do something I’ve never done before. I will talk about these phases in the podcast, and we’re going to go deeper every step of the way. And today, we’re going to focus on the first phase. So I’m really excited about that. The whole reason about doing this is so that you can find yourself along this process of transformation. And why that’s important is there is a tendency for people wherever they are and their own process to try to do things that are outside of the scope of where they are in the phase. It’s kind of like, let’s say you have a horrible breakup and you’re really uncomfortable and so you go out and you meet someone after this horrible breakup and you’re like, “Oh, this would be great to jump right into this relationship to sort of put the balm on my soul for the pain and peeling from the break-up.” Right? That’s what I call Square Skipping where you are trying to do the next thing but you haven’t done the work of the healing that you need for the break-up. And this is the same thing with transformation. We try to either stop it, which we can’t because sometimes it’s happening to us, right? Or we try to fast-forward it and skip the parts that are important. Just like, when a caterpillar goes into the cocoon to become the butterfly. If we try to cut the butterfly out of the chrysalis, the butterfly will die. So my goal is to help you understand, where are you in your life and business in terms of your transformation? And what can you do to help yourself? Okay, so the first phase, we’ll sneak peek, the first phase of transformation and you’ll find out in the quiz. If you are here, is what I call: The Crumble . Now, if you hear the words, “The Crumble,” you will know it that you’re in it because it will resonate with your life so hard. So, you are in the crumble, if you are in that phase of transformation where you are feeling lost, just not sure what’s going on, or that like your whole life is dissolving. Now, that could be your personal life especially if you have an external transformation that feels totally outside of your control. Even more so if there’s an internal transformation where you are hearing things about what you want next that you never even knew you would want, right? And it is rocking your world, that is a crumble. Now, if you are, let’s say a coach or a business owner, you might be in the crumble if you did not make a major shift in the last few years, based on what’s going on in our global economy. So maybe what was going on because of COVID and Russia invading Ukraine, and all of the other things going on in our world, maybe you froze in your business. And now you feel like you’re unsure whether your business will survive. Or maybe you don’t know what to do next because everything you’ve done in the past is not working anymore. That is the sign, then that you are likely in the crumble. Now, we know, this doesn’t feel like a good phase, right? When things are crumbling, at least me, I like to have some semblance or Illusion of control. So this idea of my life disassembling is honestly terrifying and we want to gain control. But again, we have to do it in a way that matches the phase we are in. If anything, it’s just a false sense of control. So if you are in the crumble, don’t worry, this is just another way that your life is IN TRANSIT and I’ve got your back. Okay, so there’s a couple things you can do, which I call: Stop Signs, and there are some things which you can start, which are: Green Lights. So things that you can Stop : Stop fighting your feelings . Stop being mad at yourself for feeling out of control. Stop being mad at yourself for feeling paralyzed in this situation. All right, it’s okay. If you’re in the crumble that is a sign you’re there and therefore is a natural reaction to that phase. A lot of people in this phase feel disoriented, they don’t know who they are anymore, they don’t know what they want to do with their business anymore. Something has crumbled, something has shifted. And the worst thing you can do is just play happy, right? Instead, you have to pause and go like, “Hey this is hard and I’m going to give myself some space for feeling the hard. ” And oftentimes people don’t make space for that. They actually push away the hard by overdoing and overworking. So if you are in the crumble, you’re trying to stop yourself from a breakdown, remember, in my podcast with Natasha Nkonjera , we said it was going to be, “Not break down but healing. ” You’re trying to actually stop your healing process by not feeling your feelings. So here it’s about carving out space, whether it’s in a walk, whether it’s a meditation, or whether we’re talking about this with a friend, but to really acknowledge what’s hard. And give yourself some cozy safe space to sit there. And if you are again a business owner and let’s say, you serve people who are in transition and you find yourself stuck in the crumble, I have seen this happen, you will shame yourself. “Oh, I should know better. I should do better.” Why would you be outside of the human experience, right? In fact, I welcome those phases as a business owner, as a human, because I know it’s going to be hard and that the tools that I have, I’ll either use and they’’ll move me forward. Or they won’t work anymore and I will have to dig deep and find better tools, right? So, if you are a practitioner and you serve people in transition, like the globally mobile, this is also an opportunity. But first, go back to stop fighting your feelings and give yourself some grace. I’ve got some ideas in other podcasts, I can share with you about that, but you need to be really careful that you allow yourself the space to live in that limbo holding that space of the crumble. And you can check more about that in episode 217 . Okay The other thing that you might do is you might be listening to your mind. And it might be saying things like, “Oh, you’ll stay stuck here.” Or if you’re a business owner, you’re going to say, “Oh, I can’t do this. I’ll never make my dreams happen. I’m not good enough,” right? That is a time to notice those thoughts, give yourself some grace and say, “Oh, this is because I’m in the crumble and I’m noticing that’s what’s going on.” So what can you do? You stop resisting your feelings and you can start loving the crap out of yourself . Give yourself some grace and give yourself some permission to slow down. Give yourself some permission to call what I say, “I just need to cocoon right now. I need to give myself some space to just process. the crap that I’m feeling and rejuvenate my energy.” Dial back just for a moment so that you can refuel and get ready for the next step. And I think that’s important. And if you’re a business owner, it feels hard to do that. But realize it’s a long-term investment for you and for your business. What you can do if you want to move forward in the crumble, we can’t push ourselves out of this phase but what we can do is support it in the right way using the right strategies so that we grow into the next phase. Like the caterpillar goes into the chrysalis, the same thing. You don’t push a caterpillar into a cocoon, they evolve into it. That’s that natural process. The same thing for you, you might want to consider, if you’re in the crumble, hey, get some help, get some support, whether it’s a friend, or a coach, or fellow business owners. Surround yourself with people who are on your side and are going to help you during the crumble so that you can gain your strength and clarity and move forward. We have all kinds of shame around asking for help. Honest to God it is when the smartest strategies you can do with an excellent business strategy. Every single big jump in my business has come from hiring people who are two chapters ahead of me and having them by my side, as my confidante, as my advisor, and as my cheerleader. So, seek out support. Make sure you don’t do it on your own. Here’s a shout out for those business owners who are in the crumble. Now, at the top of this episode, I shared a reference to Tandem Nomads and Amel Derragui where I shared my brand evolution. And I don’t know if it comes out clearly in the episode but I was in the crumble. And feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re not productive . So there is a moment in my own business where I was running my business like a fast-moving train and serving my community with joy. And at the same time, there was something stirring inside where I knew it was an internal-led transformation, right? And that I needed to go in a slightly different direction but I hadn’t yet heard what direction that was. That was what would count as feeling, in the crumble, as lost. Not knowing where to go. And I felt like you can be moving forward in the existing structure like your business and things are still running smoothly but there is a core in the inside that is crumbling. Which means the clarity and direction and the conviction of this is the direction you want to go . ”Hey, I wake up in the morning and I just don’t feel alignment like I used to. Something is changing.” and I see those my clients all the time. That these lives that are enviable, businesses that are enviable, and then there’s this little voice inside that says, “Listen the thing that you built, it’s time for that to crumble because something new is going to get built. ” And I wanted to share that with you because it is another version of the crumble that is harder to detect but as important. If not more important to listen to because a sort of explosive crumble of a breakdown, everybody knows we’ve to pay attention to it, but something quiet inside that is shifting is subtle. It’s like a whisper at the start and will get stronger. And if you can catch it early you can get playful with it and say, “Huh? What is that? What is changing? Isn’t it curious that I feel that way? What if I carve out more time to find out what else is being said?” So I wanted to highlight that because it’s an important part of the crumble that most people don’t talk about. Hey, just wanted to pop in here and let you know about something super special and time sensitive. If you were listening to this live every 2023, I am going to offer a challenge and it is the only challenge I have planned in Q1. So you want to make sure that you don’t miss it. And for those of you who are listening to this episode later, don’t worry, you can check it out in my free, Facebook Community, the IN TRANSIT Hub . So, here is what I’m doing in this it’s been a while since I’ve been able to really love the crap out of my community inside, the IN TRANSIT Hub. And this is what I’m going to do. We’re looking at the phases of transformation that we find ourselves in. And as you know there might be one area of our life that is smooth sailing and other parts that are in the crumble. So what we’re going to do is we’re going to spend four weeks and I’m going to look at the four phases of transformation and you’ll be able to identify which each phase of your life is in that stage, what area of your life needs attention. And then, how do we work together to bring it one step forward? Now, this is for you for yourself or your own life but it could also be if you work with clients to help them, no matter where they are, if they’re feeling the crumble , or if they’re alive with infinite possibilities , how do we go forward? And if we’re in fight mode which you’ll find out about more in the next episode, what to do now? So we Can’t always be in control of transformation whether its internal-led , external-led , or performance-led , but we can shape it. And the best way to do that is together, right? So join us in the challenge where we can look together at this stage that you or your clients are in and we can move forward in that process. Find out where you get stuck and what you want to do right now. And I’m doing something I’ve never done before. I’m really excited. There are a few bonuses as usual, in my group challenges, you have a chance to get free individualized coaching for me during the live group calls. So if you want to work with me, this is a great way to test it out or to just get value absolutely free. We’re also going to share things I’ve never shared before. Never before Insight on the four phases of transformation, so check that out. We’re going deeper than we ever have before. And my most exciting thing is, you will get personalized attention from me via email. So make sure when you’re part of the challenge, check out the quiz, Which Phase of Transformation Are You In? And I will personally answer each and every email. All right, check it out. Okay. So that is a crumble. I’m curious to hear from you. Does it resonate? If you’re not in the crumble right now, you’ll probably still recognize it because if you are human, you’ve been here, right? Whether it’s in your personal life or your professional life, that’s the crumble. And I want to remind you. It’s okay. Just be in the crumble right now. All we got to do is stop fighting our feelings, create a space where you can feel supported, and stop believing your mind crap about, “I’m not good enough, ” or whatever version of that is in your own. Say, “Hey, I’m noticing these really really negative thoughts, just because I’m in the crumble. I’m going to move forward this.” And make sure that you get support. Okay, so that’s the first phase of transformation. You will be able to find out the next three phases in upcoming episodes. Again, the whole reason of knowing what phase of transformation we are in is to make sure we’re not skipping phases and we’re not using a strategy that’s for a completely different phase. Because that means it will keep us stuck in that area longer. All right, so there you have it, it’s the crumble. If you’re not feeling the crumble right now, you can definitely think about times where you were in the crumble before. Whether it’s personally or in your business and ask yourself, “did I use strategies then? What would have happened had I used them more often when I was in the crumble?” Stay tuned for our next episode. We’re going to talk about the next phase of transformation called: Infinite Possibility . Sounds much better than the crumble but it comes with its own challenges. So we’ll have to make sure that we check in on that the next time. But now I wanted to tell you about the news that I wanted to bring them so excited about. Even beyond the six years of, in podcast of the IN TRANSIT podcast. Even more than celebrating our first year of the brand evolution, is this. Now, if you’ve been paying attention to what we’re doing over here at SundaeBean.com , there have been a lot of new fresh things coming out and one of them is our upgraded program, Adapt and Succeed . It is perfect for those who are living lives that are IN TRANSIT. So if you are feeling like your life is super layered with transition, maybe you are missing people that are far away, maybe you’re feeling disconnected from someone who lives right in the same house. Maybe you’re going through a job transformation, a cultural transformation, or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by how many things you have to do professionally and personally. Any sort of transition layers that are piling up on you then you might want to check out Adapt and Succeed . because we have the perfect menu for you to pick what you need right when you need it. And again, all of this is, “Do it yourself. ” And we’ve got a guide that you can use, it’s really, really effective if you do self-coaching. But if you’re a person who needs someone by your side to help you go deeper, that’s what we have the Global Coach Coalition for. They are qualified coaches, psychologists, and practitioners , who’ve gone through deep personal and professional training, who are licensed to work with you in Adapt and Succeed and help you in your transition. So check it out if that resonates. But here’s the thing that I wanted to tell you some of you are actually already coaches, practitioners, or psychologists and you would love to be able to support people in this way and have these tools at your fingertips. I am just opening the doors for the Global Coach Coalition again this year and likely one time only in 2023. So, if you are interested in serving people with exactly these kinds of tools, then check it out. The bonus part about being part of the Global Coach Coalition community is that we spend half of our time on really honing the tools and best practices to serve those who want to adapt and succeed in any life transition, even when it gets really tough. But we also spend the other part of our time completely focused on you up-leveling in your business. You’re working on that performance-led transformation. How do you want to grow in your business and who do you want to serve? That is how we also spend our time and in a gorgeous community of people who get you. So if you are feeling like you’re in the crumble with your business and you want to have a new orientation and would love to have these tools at hand and cheerleaders by your side, as you kick start your business, check it out . If you are someone who has an established business but wants to go further and up-level, this is also perfect for you. So check it out . The doors are now o Enjoy The Show? Don’t miss an episode, subscribe via iTunes or RSS . Please leave us a review in iTunes (or here for Android ) . The post 301: The Crumble appeared first on Sundae Schneider-Bean, LLC. .…
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