Olivia: Two mums, unknown clinic donor, IUI, cultural connection, and pivoting through false starts

Proud Conception Podcast

This week on Proud Conception, we meet Olivia, wife to Karen and mama to four-year-old Rafael. Their path to parenthood took many turns: from working with Oranga Tamariki to potentially care for a relative’s child, to trying at-home inseminations with a personal sperm donor, and finally to conceiving Rafael through IUI with an unknown clinic donor.

Olivia shares candidly about the heartbreaks and lessons along the way including the generosity of a friend who offered to be their donor, the grief when that plan changed, and the long wait on the donor list that ultimately led them to matching with a Filipino donor who beautifully reflected Karen’s heritage. Together, they’ve built a family culture that honours both their backgrounds and shared traditions into everyday life.

We also talk about navigating fertility clinic systems, the quirks of counselling requirements, inclusive midwifery care, and finding representation in children’s books (including one very special Canadian connection that felt meant to be). Olivia’s story is warm, grounded, and full of wisdom for those just starting their own journey to queer parenthood.

Resources:

• You Came from My Heart by Brenlee Coates and illustrated by Roberta Landreth https://www.youcamefrommyheart.com/

• Inclusion through Difference, a nationwide survey of Rainbow Families in Aotearoa: https://vuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7OPvyWEj8lLTSrc

Thanks for listening to Proud Conception. If you enjoyed this episode and want to hear more, follow the show on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and join the conversation with us on Instagram @ProudConceptionPod.

If you have a family-building story that you’d like to share, please get in touch via Instagram or email [email protected].