Christian Mingle: Episode 88

Pure Boys: A Heartland Podcast

Finally a movie that teaches us how to find TRUE LOVE in this modern age of 2014!

Step 1: Lie about yourself on Christian Mingle

Step 2: Meet a good Christian boy and beg him to kiss you on the first date

Step 3: After 1-3 dates, fly to Mexico to help his family hang a bell in a church that was destroyed... also your lies are discovered and you get dumped

Step 4: Decide to completely overhaul your life for this guy and start going to church and reading the Bible. Do this for about a week

Step 5: Reunite with the guy (who has moved on), trash talk his new girlfriend and humble brag about what a good Christian you are (for the past week)

Step 6: Get denied (what are you, dating the apostle Peter?)

Step 7: Go crazy and talk to God in the middle of the street or by yelling out your window

Step 8: Quit your job, move to the Mexican village the guys family volunteers in all the time and get to know his parents/make his family love you

Step 9: Keep wearing your Commifornia clothing including wedges. Really rub it in the poor Mexicans faces that you have money

Step 10: For no reason the guy will decide to take you back

Success!

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