Who Wins Does Not Matter

Save Your Marriage for Men and Women

I remember saying to a couple, both claiming they were doing more and working harder for their relationship, “It’s not a competition!”

They didn’t much seem to believe me. They were simultaneously trying to win while proving they were losing. Yep, they were trying to win at a game of “who does more and gets less.” I am not sure what the trophy would have been, but the “prize” appeared to be a battered and painful marriage.

And they weren’t alone. They AREN’T alone! Lots of couples act like they are in a competition to win. And they think it is an individual sport, not a team sport!

That’s where the damage happens. Instead of playing to win at life, they are playing to win against a spouse.

Against. Anytime you find yourself against your spouse, you can guarantee the outcome is not a win for the team. It is not a help for the marriage… for the relationship.

With every win you get in an individual competition, there is a loser… in this case, your spouse. And if your spouse wins, you lose.

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