Cass Goes on Rants

The Clopen Effect

We ket AI write this recap, Lol:

In this laugh-out-loud episode of The Clopen Effect: A Funny Retail Podcast, Cass shares a wild story about a customer who stood directly in her way — and refused to budge. We break down the awkwardness, the tension, and the hilarity that happens when retail workers are just trying to do their job… and shoppers are just trying to pretend they don’t see you.

Then, we dive into 20ish different types of shoppers we all know and love. Whether you’ve worked retail or you’re just a curious customer, you’ll recognize these familiar personalities:

• The Laser-Focused List Follower
• The Meanderer
• The Storyteller
• The Cart Curator
• The Aisle Lurker
• The Power Shopper
• The FaceTimer
• The Price Checker
• The Zen Shopper
• The Silent Stalker
• The Know-It-All
• The Impulse Buyer
• The Panic Shopper
• The Time Traveler
• The Sample Hunter
• The Repeat Returner
• The Buzzing Browser
• The Blocker
• The Deal Chaser
• The Oversharer

We also chat about:

• How retail employees navigate awkward aisle standoffs
• Why common courtesy in stores seems to be fading
• How different shopping styles affect the clopen shift
• And yes… the shopper who tries to read your name tag mid-confrontation

If you’ve ever worked a closing-to-opening shift (aka a clopen) or felt invisible in a vest and name tag, this one’s for you.

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💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop:

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All material, unless otherwise stated, written and performed by The Clopen Effect.