Session Savvy: Why We Don’t Say ‘Thank You’ in Child-Centered Play Therapy

Play Therapy Podcast

In this Session Savvy episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss a common habit in the playroom: saying "thank you" to children. While it might seem polite and appropriate in everyday conversations, thanking a child during a child-centered play therapy session can inadvertently shift the dynamics of the relationship. I explore how saying "thank you" can communicate conditional acceptance, suggesting that the child has pleased the therapist, which can unintentionally reinforce people-pleasing behaviors and perfectionism.

Instead of saying "thank you," I suggest focusing on tracking the child's choices with statements like, "You chose to give me the sword," or "You chose to clean up." This approach reinforces the child's sense of agency and keeps the focus on their actions and decisions rather than the therapist's approval. By being mindful of our language, we can support the child’s intrinsic motivation and maintain the child-centered nature of the playroom.

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Common References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley. VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press. Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.