S3 Ep9 How Bad Is Your Bad Boy?

The Holy F*ck Podcast

Bad. Dishonorable & Clinically Ill

Hot, Hot, Hot and using their powers for good.

When Krista is hot, she has to remove things. Strip Poker on the Podcast?

Just a little tease…

Are you bad to the bone? How bad is bad and what kind of bad when we say bad to the bone. Living on the Edge

2.01- “There’s no good men out there”. Really? Two Gals don’t believe it.

“All men are narcissists” Not really, just because they put themselves first doesn’t make them narcissist. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies and then there’s the clinical diagnosis. Krista ponders needing to have these qualities because she is a public figure- confidence, clarity, and courage are different

3.57 What is clinically unhealthy? What is dysfunctional/dishonorable? What is sexy, dark night, wild? 4.40- big loves of Krista’s life have had an element of dark knight- super sexy, edgy, but not clinical. Well… maybe one. Borders unhealthy

5.36- BDSM- one of those grey areas. But difference is care you take for each other and rules to follow. Play acting, fantasy- no space for unhealthy/clinically. Lines are clear, so broken rules would show up faster. The crazy shows up faster. The container keeps it safe but we don’t go into the same container in relationships.

7.21- We navigate this territory when in relationships. Have to discern darker territories and feel if it’s just darker territory, are we intrigued or scared? Discernment in women is key and we need to be aware, especially when man is manipulating and using power against someone.

9 ½ weeks- makes the woman crawl across the carpet, has to be degraded and he enjoys it.

Times in Krista’s life when self esteem was so low, she’d have crawled across the floor. But the healing happens and you realize, I’m not crawling across the floor for some fucking ring. Self-respect, worth more.

9.23- Unhealthy/clinically ill- someone who will make you feel safe and then take power and use it over you. Yes, healing needs to happen. But we also have to be careful because we can be carried into scenarios and not realize it.

Calculated bad boy vs. dark knight

10.31- One relationship for Krista was about 5 years ago “yea but in the beginning…” said the right things, felt safe, stayed longer bc she returned to the times when she felt safe.

11.53- do what you can to save the relationship, despite having your face on the floor. you have to be able to tell the person and your comm how you feel. Important to be authentic.

13.01- could see the enjoyment behind his behaviors and Krista was hiding from Katherine about how she was feeling and the situation she was in. She was met by her partner where she was in her healing, hadn’t built herself back up yet. Now, she wouldn’t even see them or have access to them.

13.43- Katherine noticed the tendency to fall silent at the moment when she needed her community the most. 15.13 She felt as though she needed to stay to keep everyone safe. How it was okay to sacrifice herself but not okay to sacrifice others. No matter what story is, it’s not okay/never give up self worth, self value for whatever someone holds over you. Katherine calls bullshit on it!

17.36- Krista got to the I don’t give a fuck point, didn’t matter what “he” would do with what he held over her. Had grown so much and pulled her power back.
Katherine not only was she worried for herself but other people.

18.11 The only thing that matters is that we don’t fall silent. We need to speak up to everyone in our lives.

19.22- not saying women are off the hook. Katherine has been dishonorable, been bad to the bone. It’s about awareness of if someone is getting off on hurting/manip someone.

20.29- is it just a cut or an oozing, deadly disease? Discernment is the key factor.

22.18-The Man with No Name- clinical side, scared + protecting others. Physically, emotional, hiding. Purposely tried to keep from friends.

Golden Eyes- pushing into unhealthy/dishonorable. Was just starting the podcast, more willing to step into her authenticity but didn’t disappear. He said your friends are bad for you, kept her distant from friends.

RHRN- dark knight energy. No energy around hiding, keeping her away from friends.

Shades of mentally clinically ill to bad to dishonorable.

24.24- Alison Armstrong- so many women characterize men as dark, throw around “narcissist” “dishonorable is a changing state.” Not what you aspire to but washes over you when you’re full of fear. He can live on the edge but still keeps his word or he can fall in and out of whether or not he keeps his word or he doesn’t care about keeping his word, makes you feel like you aren’t capable of being safe. Bargain with the devil.

27.16- You get to the “come to Jesus moment” no matter what world, lawyers, anyone is saying only you and God know the truth.

27.42- Krista has an AHa moment! After she broke up with him, to get back at her, he told her ex-husband every secret he had on her. When Krista found out, there was a pressure release for not having to carry the secret anymore. Worst Nightmare= Greatest Gift= Complete Freedom

30.03- smart ways to care for yourself if in an unsafe situation. Always tell your people.

31.49- don’t be afraid to check it out if you think he’s clinically ill but don’t get held up with it. Some are just dishonorable. 32.12- Maybe you’ve dismantled his ball structure. Duh, duh, duh!

32.31- what is the level of fear you have when they walk in the door? Notice your body. Feel into what’s happening. Be curious why you respond in that way. Get authentic, talk.

35.24- watch for the energy of dependency, different from being connected.

RHRN, stepping into a better version of self. Only reason she’s not getting out of bed is his sexy.

TMWNN- couldn’t get out of bed

GE- trying to get out of bed but was a Sisyphean act

36.18- One who shall not be named- Katherine

Mr. Delicious- always challenging each other to be more ourselves, more committed/loving/empowered to selves and can sometimes create friction. Not fireworks or drama but an intensity of settling in more deeply to who they are as a human.

37.48- Partnerships grow. Can question what’s going on but in a healthy way. Can’t judge someone because you don’t know what their level of capacity is. Listen with your heart.

40.03- As a friend, it's harder to support someone if they’re not being open and honest. IF we don’t listen deeply (or only disapprove) to our friends, we will silence them.

43.15- give everyone the dignity of their process. Space and time to realize what you need to take care of yourself.

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