250. Almost Pickles: It's Just Cucumbers!

Topic Lords

Lords:

• Jenni
• Tyriq

Topics:

• That mayochup and kranch
• Barry Topping
• Magic Shell
• Hot Sauce by Just James
  • https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/hot_sauce_889972
• Video games where you put toppings on things
• The temptation of bad ice cream toppings

Microtopics:

• The game where you go into your uncle's nipple and find a tiny heart.
• Isles of Sea and Sky.
• A block pushy game.
• Toppings that are just recombinations of existing toppings.
• Switching sriracha brands for labor relations reasons.
• Combining all the soda flavors because you're an iconoclast and suffering because the flavor is worse but it's worth it.
• Getting a squeeze bottle so you can drizzle sauces like on TV.
• Getting pre-ruined peanut butters so you don't need to worry about ruining it any further.
• Buying peanut butter because you no longer live with someone who is allergic to nuts.
• Intrusive and non-intrusive seeds.
• Condiment combinations sticking in your head for decades.
• Ketchup and something that's kind of like a thing you might know but might not.
• Almost Pickles: It's Just Cucumbers.
• Harmless Coconut Water.
• Cranch: ranch dressing that that comes out of the can in a wobbly cylinder like cranberry sauce.
• Barry Hilary Valentine Topping.
• Paradise Killer.
• Walking into court sipping your Starbucks latte.
• Hopping around a beach and looking at a vaporwave pyramid.
• Collecting skate tapes, just like Mario does.
• Bails hurt scores, Mario!
• Street Uni X.
• The Tony Hawk soundtrack except slightly more a Lilith Fair.
• Enjoying a bad N64 camera enough for the two of us.
• The thing you squirt onto your ice cream.
• Making your own counterfeit Kranch at home in a bottle with Kranch written on it in crayon.
• The Cheese Remains Saucy.
• Getting a boba tea for $17 outside of LA.
• Taking the very worst bite out of your mother in law's ice cream cone.
• Working out your jaw muscles until you can eat the entire ice cream cone in one bite.
• Eating 16 pints of ice cream in six minutes.
• Screaming at ice cream until it teleports into your belly.
• Admonishing your readers that hot sauce would not make a good wife.
• Stealing the pelt of a selkie but she always wants to go back to the ocean.
• Selkie for a wife vs. ice cream for a wife.
• ASMRtistry.
• Spices of life.
• Using a food metaphor to describe the metaphorical nature to food.
• Three pop songs that compare women to food.
• A topic that is floating around in the the collective unconscious.
• Sriracha sorbet.
• A flight of tea-flavored ice creams.
• Sentient hot sauce putting itself on things you don't usually put hot sauce on.
• Salamander County Public Television.
• A Wario Ware that's a little bit QWOP.
• The Pancake/Burger/Bacon trilogy.
• An interactive thing where you put food into space.
• The American Portion Gun.
• Put things on things.
• Video games with hamburger building elements.
• A fast food simulator where you solve all the horror game problems that you're in.
• Whether board games count as video games since you can see them.
• Vidus Gamus.
• Livin' la Video Game Loca.
• Learning how to recover from mistakes.
• Putting an entire Snickers bar in your cup of Sriracha and the clerk just shakes his head.
• Asking the froyo guy to arrange the gummy worms "artfully. Like how I would if I could reach in there nyself. In fact why do I need to order, just give me the froyo that I want!"
• All the Mistake Blizzards you can eat.
• Nerds Butterfinger Mistake Blizzard.
• Putting barbecue sauce on vanilla ice cream because you're out or chocolate sauce.
• What's your favorite cheese to put on Pop-Tarts?
• The Ambies for Excellence in Audio.
• How to make more of the red liquid they found in the black sarcophagus.

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