EP251 The Perils of the “Wait and See” Mindset

Fearlessly Fertile Podcast with Rosanne Austin

Are you in “wait and see” mode? We are talking about why that absolutely sucks and how it can actually derail the success you truly want on this journey. If you are saying, “let’s just wait and see” anywhere in your life, you’ve got to turn this one up.

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast, episode 251, The Perils of the Wait and See Mindset. Loves, I am so excited to be here with you this week as we tackle a topic that I have been wanting to address for some time, and it is The low down, dirty, wait and see mindset.

And I got to tell you, this one is, this is a, this is a really important one, because so often we will take a position in our lives, particularly on this journey and where we say, well, let’s just wait and see. And what’s interesting about that wait and see mindset is it seems reasonable and, and, and thoughtful.

And concerned in the moment, it seems like, you know, let’s make some incremental steps here. Let’s just wait and see what happens. And a lot of people say that and, and I don’t think they fully understand the implications, which is why I’m raising it with you here today, because chances are, I’m willing to bet there are places in your life as you live this journey where you are currently waiting and seeing.

Right? Oh, we’ll, we’ll wait and see. But we never really stopped to ask ourselves, well, what am I waiting for? And what am I waiting to see? Right? It’s kind of funny when you dissect that and you’re like, well, what are you waiting for? And what are you waiting to see? And exactly like, how does that specifically allowing outside circumstances to dictate what your next step is going to be?

Like, how does that actually move you forward? Right? And it’s kind of a funny thing because when you take the time to really look at that, like, well, let’s just wait and see. There are two very pervasive negative beliefs. That are at the foundation of the wait and see mindset that are, are, it’s perilous to your success on this journey, you know, and, and I think what brought this up is, you know, over time, like I hear all kinds of excuses from women and, and it’s, it’s interesting.

I’m not in judgment of them, I just notice the pattern. Uh, you know, I’ve had women come across my desk who, you know, they want to do programs, or they want to do this, they want to do that. Oh, but wait, let me see if I’m pregnant first. And again, I’m not in judgment, I just notice the pattern. And I’m raising the pattern with you in a very real way, so that you can see it and catch it if you’re living it.

Like, we’ve had appointments with women when the team is going to talk to women about my programs. We’ve had women say, Oh, well, you know what? I’m actually in my two week wait. Uh, I’m not sure if I want to do that. And it’s like, what do you think that suddenly when you get a positive pregnancy test, that you’re not going to need mindset to help you get through 40 weeks of pregnancy.

Or do you think that your mindset is somehow going to be better the minute you get your positive pregnancy test that those saboteurs that have been torturing you for the past few years are just going to go silent with your positive pregnancy test? There have been so many examples, 250 episodes prior to this of women.

That our Miracle Mamas today that only emphasize how critically important mindset is before, during, and after their pregnancy. It’s that same kind of short sighted thinking. Oh, well, you know, if I’m pregnant, I’m not going to do that. It’s like, what? Isn’t now exactly the time that you want? To learn how to think like a woman who succeeds, there’s so much more at stake, right?

You’re, you know, you use mindset to support you in getting pregnant, but you also use mindset to support you in staying pregnant and staying focused unless you want to make the 40 weeks of your pregnancy fucking miserable and have no coping skills if shit goes sideways. Okay, now going back to, to something that I pointed out, this wait and see mindset is particularly insidious because there are two perilous belief systems underlying, oh, let’s just wait and see.

Number one, it’s lack and scarcity, lack and scarcity of time and resources. Right? Going back to the example I gave you about women. Oh, let me just see if I’m pregnant first before I start working on my mindset. That’s like, hey, if I can avoid doing the work and investing in myself, Oh, let me just do that.

Okay, let me just see if I can, I can avoid doing the work and making the investment. Oh, let me just see if I can skate by. Right? It’s a hardcore lack and scarcity mentality. That will bite you in the ass every single time. It blows my mind how people are very often just trying to skate by. Let me just see if I can skate by on this one.

Not having to make any changes that better my life. Not having to make any additional investments that can serve me in like 10, 000 different fucking ways in the next week. Right? And the other belief system, so number one, the perilous belief that underlies wait and see mentality. The second one is this idea that things have to happen in a certain order, okay?

And what that ties to closely is the need to be right and not make any quote unquote mistakes, right? Ooh, shit, you know, what if I, what if I invest in myself and, you know, I really just actually didn’t need it? And it’s like, what? What are you talking about for all the reasons that I’ve already told you, right?

Like, oh, I don’t need that. That again points directly back to a lack and scarcity mindset because only lack and scarcity is going to have you thinking in terms of need. That is a very narrow mindset. It’s about what do you want, not what you need. The only thing that anyone actually needs in this life is food, water, and fucking shelter.

And if you’re still thinking that, oh, I just, I just need the necessities. I don’t need anything beyond that. Sister, you have never needed mindset more, pregnant or not. Okay. So I want to ask you a very serious question. Where are you living in wait and see mode? Because it’s very telling. The other thing about this that I want to bring to your attention is it is about having power be outside of you.

Because if you’re in the wait and see mode, you are waiting for outside circumstances to dictate what happens next. As opposed to you being the person that takes the bull by the fucking horns and knows where they are headed, right, and can adapt. And it’s, it’s really an interesting way that we place authority and we place Uh, the decision making kind of outside of us.

Well, you know, let’s see, you know, let me see where, where this all lands. And it’s a very passive way of living your life. And again, I’m not in judgment about it, but you can see how this will break you down and not serve you on this journey. lovably type A control freaky professional woman who slays all day and wants to slay on this journey, right?

You’re not in wait and see mode when you are at the top of your professional game. Chances are you’re not waiting and seeing shit. You’ve got a vision. And the same applies on this journey. And look, if you want extraordinary results on this journey, you have to be doing extraordinary shit. You can’t just stay in the narrow confines.

Oh, I don’t need that, or that’s too much for me. Those are not the words of a woman who creates incredible success for herself. Look back at all 250 prior episodes. Listen to the ones with me, listen to the ones with my ladies. Not one of them is in wait and see mode right before she conceives. If you take a, an honest look at every single one of what these women were talking about, none of them were in fucking wait and see mode.

They were out living their lives. I also want to draw your attention to another important distinction because some people will want to say, Oh, we’ll wait and see, Oh, I’ve surrendered. So I’m just going to wait and see what happens. Wait and see is not surrender. Wait and like, you have to understand surrender is a position of power.

Surrender is open and receiving and very clear about where you’re headed. Wait and see is the fuckin weenie mode. It, by comparison, it’s fuckin weak and weenie mode. And you’ve gotta understand, like, Empowered surrender, which is what, what we always talk about here is knowing exactly where you’re headed, moving forward, being able to adapt, changing things up as, as things come along, but it’s conscious.

It is you driven. It’s you making a decision from the inside pre whatever comes up, right? It’s a position of clarity. It’s a position of authority. And it’s a position that is forward moving, okay? Everything about wait and see is getting bumped around, allowing things to happen, and being in reaction mode, as opposed to responding to the things that come up based on your vision, based on your clarity, based on understanding.

And seizing your own authority on this journey. They are two very different things. Wait and see is laden in lack and scarcity and the fear of being wrong. Okay, that’s massive. Like, another side note on this. Anyone who is in wait and see mode is terrified of being wrong. And, and the problem with that and why it’s one of the perils on this journey, like it’s a perilous mindset is because we are more often wrong than we are right.

We will fail more times than we will be successful, but that is the nature of the fucking game. Okay, and as I was saying, if you want to create extraordinary results, you have to be willing to do extraordinary things. And that would include letting go of the need to be right, which I’ve talked about in the past on this podcast.

letting go of the idea that things have to happen in a certain order because sometimes you can go from A to D. You don’t have to make incremental steps, you know, A, B, C, and D. You can go from A to D and most of the time that is not going to come from a passive position and there is nothing passive about surrender.

Surrender is not fucking passive and it’s not fucking weak. Wait and see is okay. Somebody who is surrendered is going to know where they’re headed. They may not know exactly how it’s going to happen, but they know where they’re headed, sister, and they’re not leaving without this baby. That is very different, energetically, than, oh, let’s just wait and see.

Okay? Like, two very different things. So, ask yourself, this week, where am I in wait and see mode? Because, chances are, you are not like that, necessarily. At work, chances are you’re a little stronger than that, right? And chances are in other aspects of your life, you’re not quite wait and see. But if you are, this could be a powerful wake up call for you to truly step in your power.

Because wait and see is fucking namby pamby, limp, like, overcooked noodle shit. Okay, that is not what is going to get you across the finish line and get you to the place you want to be on this journey. So ask yourself, where am I playing wait and see? And, you know, the other thing, again, none of this is judgment, but it is telling.

It is telling of the mindset and it’s telling of the pattern. Where am I holding back? Where is my life on hold? On this journey, because here’s the thing. Two things can be true at the same time. You can be on this journey and you can have fun. You can be on this journey and live your life. You can be on this journey and having fertility treatments and making investments in yourself.

You can just be more, right? Just because you’re on this journey does not mean that the rest of your life has to fucking die away. Right? That is, again, Laden in lack and scarcity and laden in the idea that things have to happen in a certain order. And nine times out of ten, the idea that we have about what order things need to happen is totally fucking made up.

Right? There are certain scenarios where that actually makes sense. But more often than not, all the stuff that you think needs to happen in order is fucking made up. So, look around your journey right now and where are you living that way? Where are you not saying yes? Where are you not making the investment?

Where are you, where are you holding back? Where are you not having the conversation because you just want to wait and see? Because if you want to win on this journey, You’re not going to be passive in that way. You are not going to allow outside circumstances to dictate, number one, how you feel, or number two, the direction that you go.

Because you’re willing to run through walls for this baby. You’re willing to overcome. The bullshit that you’ve been living by, the fear, the doubt, the negativity, because you’ve got to want that bad enough to get out of the pattern of wait and see. Now, I can fully appreciate that just about everything I have shared with you in this particular episode completely flies in the face of probably what you’ve been taught about what it means to be prudent.

Thoughtful, measured in your steps and avoiding unnecessary mistakes. There’s nothing about this journey that falls into the kind of category where you would apply conventional wisdom and all of this other crap. We’re talking about the miracle of life. We’re talking about your freaking happiness. We’re talking about the vision you have for your life.

And we’re talking. About getting to the end of your life, fully knowing that you didn’t let yourself down, that you played full out, that you’re going to meet your maker knowing. That you left nothing behind. In fact, you made good use of the blessing of having this fucking life, woman. So, it’s time to really think about doing things differently.

Look back at your results from 2023. If you are not fully confident that you are truly doing your best on this journey, and, you know, based on your results from 2023, It’s time to consider a different way and that has nothing to do with sitting in judgment of you or thinking that I know all the answers for you in your life.

I don’t have to because you do. It’s your life. At the end of this recording, you’re going to go about your business. And when I’m done recording this, I’m going to go hang out with my son. I’ve learned the lesson, and what I’m trying to do here is impart it to you. Get that really deep in your heart. There is a responsibility, at least I believe, That comes along with learning hard lessons on a journey that can be very isolating.

And one of the ways that I show my gratitude for the blessings that I have in my life is attempting to show a way of doing it. And whether you agree with this or not is ultimately up to you. But as one of my mentors always said, results don’t lie. And so, if it’s time that you shake things up and stop playing it fucking safe, stop waiting and seeing, and, and putting your life on hold, and not doing the things that could very well get you across the finish line, it’s time to change things up, sister.

Because There is nothing worse than regret. And chances are, in every other aspect of your life, you’re willing to go the distance. Just because this is about you, it is not the time to cut corners. It is not the time to play it safe. In fact, this is the one time. We’re going all out is likely to give you the happiest aspects of your life that you could possibly have.

Take that in. Where are you waiting and seeing? And then stop that shit. Now for those of you ready to go beyond just passively listening to this podcast and are truly committed, To making 2024 your year. My fearlessly fertile method program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say, hell yes, to covering their bases, mind and body.

So you have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I only work with women that are committed to success to apply for your interview for this program. Go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com. And apply for an interview there. My methodology is help women around the world, make their mom dreams come true.

If you’ve been listening at all in 2023, you know, that’s true. Their results speak for themselves. And if you don’t have a mindset for success in this journey, baby, you got to gape and hole in your strategy. You got to ask yourself how bad you want this baby. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success.

Until next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.