256: Yes Girl, You Can Leave Him: A CFP® Professional Reacts to the Financial Problems of Strangers on the Internet

Love, your Money - Wealth, Money, and Financial Advisor for Women

Hey Money Lover, today we’re doing something a little bit different, inspired by a post I saw on Instagram. Someone had screenshotted a crowdsourced question from Reddit, then brought it over to Instagram to offer commentary on the situation.
I was reading this post and attempting to collect my jaw off the floor the whole time, because it was a series of those “Am I the A-hole” or “Should I leave him?” posts where someone is describing a financial issue they’re having with their partner–all husbands, in this case.
The only thing going through my head as I read horror after horror was, “Yes, girl, YOU CAN LEAVE HIM.” You don’t have to sacrifice your security or well-being for someone else’s financial mistakes!
I know it’s not that simple, but it pains me to see women held back in their lives because of unhealthy financial partnerships and limiting beliefs; that’s actually a big part of what fuels the work we do at Hendershott Wealth Management, where our mission is to see women and their partners healthy, wealthy, and thriving.
So, today, I wanted to read some of these posts, react to them, and break down what we can learn about the expectations, assumptions, and Money Operating System® issues baked into some of these financial woes. Then I’ll talk about where things went wrong, and whether or not I think these couples will be able to make it right. 👀
Full disclosure: You’re gonna hear my big sis/mama bear/money maven/CFP® professional-self come out, with a serious side order of sass for these bros and their dumb choices. And while my expertise is in financial matters, I couldn’t help but comment on what else they might be bringing to the table.
And hey, if you know someone who’s living these stories–or maybe see yourself in some of them–I hope it’ll give you a little bit of a loving kick in the butt to act in YOUR best interest, even if you’ve been conditioned not to. Because if you smell BS… take out the trash. 💩
Here’s what you’ll learn in this week’s episode of Love, your Money:

• 00:00 Introduction to this episode–and what you’re about to hear
• 04:05 1️⃣“My husband committed financial infidelity, and I’m not sure what to do.”
• 07:40 Calling out financial red flags in potential partners before you get married
• 08:45 How values influence relationship expectations and the cost of deception
• 13:32 2️⃣“My husband lost $60,000 behind my back”
• 14:12 The consequences of gambling with real estate as an investment strategy
• 16:27 How Money Operating System® issues can damage a financial partnership
• 17:47 Common fears that keep women stuck in toxic financial situations
• 19:50 3️⃣“AITA for wanting a divorce from my husband who lost $200k in bitcoin”
• 21:50 When “managing the family money” is actually theft
• 26:10 The most common–and expensive–mistake that costs women everything
  

Show Notes
To get access to the full show notes, including all the resources mentioned, visit: https://hendershottwealth.com/podcast/financial-problems-of-strangers

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Hendershott Wealth Management, LLC and Love, your Money do not make specific investment recommendations on Love, your Money or in any public media. Any specific mentions of funds or investments are strictly for illustrative purposes only and should not be taken as investment advice or acted upon by individual investors. The opinions expressed in this episode are those of Hilary Hendershott, CFP®, MBA.