Welcome to the Ex Good Girl Podcast! I’m Sara Bybee Fisk, the Stop People Pleasing Coach. If you feel exhausted from constant people pleasing and perfectionism, and you are ready to stop but you don’t know how, this podcast is for YOU! I will help you learn to stop making other people comfortable at your own expense. I can show you a roadmap you can use to train yourself to stop abandoning your own desires and let go of the fear of what others will think. If you are ready to stop pretending ...
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Episode 78 - Unconventional Choices: Alternative Relationship Structures with Ali Ryan and Laura Jurgens
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Send us a text This week, I continue my series on unconventional choices by exploring alternative relationship structures. I am incredibly thankful to my guests, Ali Ryan and Dr. Laura Jurgens, for sharing their insight on alternative relationship structures and their experience and advice on navigating them with love and respect. Ali Ryan is the C…
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Episode 77 - Unconventional Choices: Single Mom by Choice with Carla Moats and Paige Dempsey
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Send us a text Welcome to the second episode of my special series on Unconventional Choices. I am so grateful to my guests, Carla Moats and Paige Dempsey, for sharing their journeys to parenthood. In a society that often scrutinizes solo parents, Carla and Paige exemplify courage in making a choice that aligns with their values—the choice to become…
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Episode 76 - Unconventional Choices: Childfree By Choice with Amber Taylor, Pauline Yan, Melissa G Wirt, and Dr. Susie Castellanos Hansley
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Send us a text I’m thrilled to kick off my “Unconventional Choices” series with an incredible lineup of guests and fellow coaches—Amber Taylor, Pauline Yan, Melissa G. Wirt, and Dr. Susie Castellanos Hansley—all of whom have chosen to remain child-free. Together, we challenge societal norms and our “good-girl” programming as we discuss the pressure…
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Episode 75 - How To Drink Like a Woman Who Loves Herself with Colleen Kachmann
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Send us a text I am so grateful for my conversation with this week’s guest, Colleen Kachmann, where we tackle an important and often tricky topic: drinking. Tune in as we explore how drinking is tied to perfectionism and people pleasing and how, thanks to her own journey, Colleen is helping women rise above it. Colleen is a Certified Master Life & …
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Episode 74 - The Female Double Bind and How to Get OUT
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Send us a text With everything happening in our world right now, especially politically here in the United States, we need to talk about the female double blind–the impossible double standards to which women are held that create no-win situations for us. So many examples of this show up in our everyday lives and are perpetuated by the media, and it…
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Episode 73 - What I'm Working On At The Moment
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Send us a text This episode is all about honesty and vulnerability as I share what I’m currently working on in my life. While I’m a coach, I’m a person, too. As a person, I struggle with and navigate many challenges, especially those specifically related to womanhood. These experiences, part of my ongoing journey of growth and learning, make me a g…
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Episode 72 - Sneaky People Pleasing
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Send us a text Did you know that people pleasing can be subtle–even sneaky? People pleasing goes far beyond the stereotypical inability to say “no.” In this episode, I reveal the people pleasing tendencies that catch us off guard–things like excessive politeness, perfectionism, and difficulty setting boundaries. Because it can show up in so many di…
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Episode 71 - I'm Not Living The Beautiful Life I Could Be with Angie Wilson
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Send us a text I’m so grateful for my beautiful conversation with this week’s guest, Angie Wilson. Angie Wilson is a certified life coach specializing in helping women love their lives after divorce. With a master's degree in social work, Angie brings a rich background of experience to her coaching practice. She worked as a therapist and case manag…
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Episode 70 - "I am so F*cking Proud of Myself" - Conversations with Women Who Have Stopped People Pleasing
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Send us a text I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to sit down with Allyssya Gossett, Abby Wolfson, and Jayne Newman to dig into what it's like to be a woman programmed to people please—and what it's like to be a woman who stops. Allyssya is an educator and life coach who helps women step outside their comfort zone and into confidence so t…
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Episode 69 - Awareness, Capacity and Skills Part Two: Listen In On This Coaching Call
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Send us a text Welcome to part two of my series on how to make lasting, positive changes in your life. In part one, I shared my framework for change and three things you need to make it work: awareness, capacity, and skills. In this episode, I share a conversation I had during a coaching call with an amazing client. During this call, we discussed h…
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Episode 68 - The Three Things You Need to Make a Change: Awareness, Capacity and Skills Part One
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Send us a text Do you know what you need to make a change? I do. I can’t wait to share my framework for change with you. To make a lasting change, you need three things: awareness, capacity, and skills. In this episode, I share real-life strategies and examples of these three elements, and I invite you to join me on July 15 from 1-2 PM PST for a fr…
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Episode 67 - Expanding Your Capacity for Pleasure with Danielle Savory
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Send us a text I’m excited to welcome Danielle Savory back to the show this week. Danielle is a master-certified coach, podcast host, and expert in neuropsychology, mindfulness, sexual pleasure, and intimacy. When she last joined us in episode 25, “Sexual Power with Danielle Savory,” she left us with the wisdom that “a woman's ability to be present…
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Episode 66 - From Stuck to Secure
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Send us a text This week’s podcast is an invitation. An invitation to stop feeling “stuck.” An invitation to step into the security and self-connection you need to move forward. Most importantly, it is an invitation to join my masterclass and workshop series, From Stuck to Secure, designed specifically for individuals seeking to improve their relat…
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Episode 65 - The People Pleaser's Guide to Co-Parenting with Mikki Gardner
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Send us a text I really enjoyed my insightful and empowering conversation with this week’s guest, Mikki Gardner. Mikki is a mom to a teenage son, a Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach, the host of the Co-Parenting with Confidence podcast, and the bestselling author of the People Pleasers Guide to Co-Parenting Well. After navigating her own d…
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The Ex-Good Girl Podcast is taking a break!
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Send us a text Because everybody needs a break sometimes, the Ex-Good Girl podcast is on a four week break. We'll be back on June 5th with new episodes. Until then, listen to some of your old favorites, get caught up, or join my Stop People Pleasing Facebook group by finding the link in the show notes below. I can't wait to connect with you. Find S…
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Episode 64 - How I Created a Secure Relationship With My Husband
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Send us a text I am so grateful to have a secure relationship with my husband, but it wasn’t always that way. Earlier in our relationship, I was terrified of being left by him, and I built myself an armor of hyper independence and dishonesty. I pretended to be ways I wasn’t to stay safe and “belong” with him. This lack of safety and insecurity in o…
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Episode 63 - Writing Your Way Back to You with AshMae Hoiland
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Send us a text I’m incredibly thankful for Ashmae Hoiland for creating such an engaging conversation this week. Ashmae is a talented writer, painter, and maker. Ashmae’s upcoming essay collection, Letters to a Leaving Mormon, will be released on November 1, 2024. Ahead of its release, we wanted to speak about how writing- one of the most ancient pr…
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Episode 62 - Acceptance is the Path to Power
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Send us a text We have this idea that acceptance means approval, that if we accept when something goes wrong—when a boundary is crossed, when someone disappoints us, when we get rejected—we’re saying it’s okay. When this is how we define acceptance, we avoid it; and when we avoid acceptance, we reject reality. We avoid processing our unmet expectat…
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Episode 61 - How Working on My People Pleasing is Honoring Me with My Grief with Elizabeth Hester
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Send us a text Today I have Elizabeth Hester joining me on the podcast. She’s a current member of the Stop People Pleasing group coaching program that started back in January. She’s a mother, teacher, and lifelong student. She’s also the owner of multiple UPS stores in North Carolina. She’s been processing her grief from the loss of her husband in …
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Episode 60 - Exploring Non-Traditional Relationships with Kimberly Mathis
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Send us a text I’m so grateful for my guest Kimberly Mathis and this week’s fascinating conversation. Kimberly is a queer therapist-turned-general life coach with an ADHD brain who helps people change what feels unchangeable. She teaches her clients how to make their own decisions and navigate difficult relationships - including the one they have w…
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Episode 59 - Transparency as a Woman in the Self-Help World
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Send us a text I want to have a conversation with you about the tension in this self-help marketing space so that you know where I’m coming from. I want you to know what my values are and I want you to know what I'm striving for. I want you to look at the lens of your own values through the products that are being marketed to you, because it is rel…
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Episode 58 - Stories from Inside Stop People Pleasing Group Coaching Program
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Send us a text This episode features conversations I did with four current participants of my Stop People Pleasing group coaching program: Natalie Hagwood, Elizabeth Sherman, Kelly True, and Gini Ewart. I hope that by hearing their stories, you're inspired to see what is possible for you, and take a little peek into some of the things that I teach.…
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Episode 57 - What If Your Marriage Was A Tool For Liberation? with Maggie Reyes
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Send us a text Maggie Reyes is a wonderful marriage coach who I had the honor of having as a coach myself. Maggie helped me get to another version of my marriage that has been just so delightful. She has a podcast called “The Marriage Life Coach Podcast.” Maggie’s double-certified as both a Life Coach and a Sex, Love and Relationship coach by two o…
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Episode 56 - How To Advocate For Yourself in a Medical Setting with Sara Hughes Zabawa
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Send us a text This week, Sara Hughes-Zabawa LCSW, CDWF joins me to talk about advocating for yourself in a medical setting. Sara is a therapist, licensed clinical social worker, Certified Daring Way™ facilitator, yoga instructor, & wellness coach. She’s passionate about helping clients thrive as they enhance the quality of their lives through fost…
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Episode 55 - How to Remodel a Relationship
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Send us a text This episode is all about relationships. As humans, we’re wired for connection and meant to have a variety of dynamics in our lives. Friendship, intimacy, and pleasure are necessary in life, as well as our independence. Life is the balance of independence vs. interdependence. In this episode I offer tools to help assess if you want t…
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Episode 54 - Grief is Part of the Process
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Send us a text Grief plays a big part in the journey to stopping people pleasing and perfectionating. It's the death or the changing of a former life- a former way of seeing the world, a former way that we used to relate to each other in relationships, a former way that we used to be rewarded and recognized. It comes up a lot in my group coaching p…
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Episode 53 - Imposter Syndrome with Kori Linn
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Send us a text In this episode, Kori Linn and I discuss Imposter Syndrome. Kori is a life and career coach as well as the host of the Satisfied AF podcast. She helps clients, listeners, and social media followers create more satisfaction & delight in every area of their lives. Imposter syndrome points the finger at individuals and burdens them with…
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Episode 52 - Let's Talk about Infidelity with Andrea Giles
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Send us a text This week I’m joined by Andrea Giles. She's a certified life coach and has a podcast called “Heal From Infidelity”. Andrea helps women sort out the confusion, grief, fear, doubt, and frustration that comes when infidelity (as well as other forms of betrayal) occurs in their marriage. Today we talk about our life stories and what got …
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Episode 51 - The Size of Our Wanting is the Size of Our Life
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Send us a text Our wanting is essential and important. Women feel shame around wanting because we’ve been taught to not want things. “Don't be needy or selfish.” How many times have you heard or felt this? Do you choose not to hope or strive for your heart's desires because it's easier to not want than to be disappointed? Wanting is opening up to y…
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Episode 50 - The Power of a Consult with Laura Sully
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Send us a text For this episode, Laura Sully joins me to share her experience having a consult with me. Booking a consult with me is the best way to start your journey with stopping people pleasing. When you start working with me, I’ll give you tools that are immediately useful in your life. Then we’ll get into processing emotions and dive deeper i…
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Episode 49 - What If 2024 is the Year You Stop People Pleasing?
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Send us a text What if 2024 is the year you stop people pleasing? What if you started to create a world around you where you feel respected by yourself and others? The universality of our preprogramming aka good girl programming silently shapes us. We can learn to overcome the discomfort, and gain the respect we desire from ourselves and others. It…
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Episode 48 - Food and People Pleasing with Elizabeth Sherman
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Send us a text Elizabeth Sherman joins me this week to discuss midlife and the changes women experience on different levels. Humans socialized as women experience emotional, physical, and mental changes as they get older. Health should be the overall goal but our society's ways of thinking mess that up. Diet culture and the patriarchy are such nega…
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Episode 47 - People Pleasing and Parenting with Andee Martineau, Part 2
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Send us a text Andee Martineau and I continue our conversation this week about people pleasing and parenting. Tolerating failures and disappointments with your children can be challenging but it is possible to deal with. The need to fix, save, and/or rescue can be consuming. As a parent, you have to be true to yourself and respect yourself first wh…
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Episode 46 - People Pleasing and Parenting with Andee Martineau, Part 1
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Send us a text Andee Martineau and I have a long history together. She introduced me to coaching. She has 6 kids and I have 5. We home-schooled our kids together and have a common religious background. She’s a true friend who’s been there for me and is along for the ride. Parenting is a hard job and learning how to stay healthy, balance, and manage…
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Episode 45 - How Claiming Authority Changed Everything for Me: A Conversation with Kara Loewentheil
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Send us a text My mentor, teacher, friend, and colleague joined me to talk about how claiming authority changed everything for us. Kara Loewentheil, J.D., is a Master certified coach, host of the top-rated podcast UnF*ck Your Brain, and creator of The Clutch, a feminist monthly coaching program that has helped tens of thousands of women across the …
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Episode 44 - My Favorite Sentences
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Send us a text In this episode, I discuss how to navigate uncomfortable situations this holiday season. Unwinding the way we operate out of people pleasing and perfectionating is especially tricky during the holidays. Holidays kick up a lot of difficult emotions and situations. The way to get through this season is to honor your own desires, which …
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Episode 43 - How to Create Secure Attachment in Relationships
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Send us a text We are programmed to constantly worry about whether we are safe and loved. This comes from attachment styles we develop early in life. It can be helpful to identify your attachment styles because you can have a different style with different people in your life. In this episode, I’ll give you an overview of attachment styles so that …
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Episode 42 - How to Make Sense Of Your Chronic Pain with Deb Malkin
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Send us a text In this episode, Deb and I talk about repressed emotions and how they relate to physical pain. Deb Malkin is a feminist mind/body coach, specializing in using the tools of neuro + bioplasticity and consciously curious hypno-coaching to help people unlearn pain and emotional stress symptoms. As a queer, fat, radically unapologetic hum…
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Episode 41 - Synthetic Gratitude: Why It Sucks and What To Do About It
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Send us a text “Just be grateful for what you have.” How many of you have heard this before? This is synthetic gratitude, which is a form of gratitude that is expected of women to provide and perform- to show we are staying in our place. I think understanding how synthetic gratitude works will be really helpful. In this episode, I’ve broken down 4 …
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Episode 40 - How To Disappoint Someone and Not Die Of Guilt and Shame
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Send us a text This episode is out just in time for the holidays, giving you a chance to wrap up the year with a little extra kindness for yourself. In this episode, I'll reveal seven life-changing steps. These steps might sound simple, but they're not necessarily easy to implement. It's worth keeping in mind that letting folks down is just part of…
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Episode 39 - Midlife Magic with Jen Berlingo
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Send us a text I have an extraordinary guest this week! Jen Berlingo, MA, LPC, ATR (she/her) is a midlife coach, a licensed professional counselor, a nationally registered art therapist, and a master-level Reiki practitioner. She wrote a book called Midlife Emergence, which reached #1 in several Amazon categories. She is also a visual artist and cr…
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Episode 38 - Why are the Holidays so Hard?
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Send us a text Let's talk about holidays and expectations. We want to make special memories for our loved ones but often put our own needs to the side to please everyone else. Boundaries can be tougher with family because of our upbringing. From gifting to decorating then planning, shopping, and cooking… the list goes on. I’m stressed out just talk…
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Episode 37 - Boundaries with Olivia Vizachero
53:37
53:37
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53:37
Send us a text I am so excited to continue discussing boundaries this week with my special guest Olivia Vizachero! She is a Master certified life coach who helps people choose themselves as their top priority. When we decide to set a boundary and resistance comes up, that's where the work is. We can’t control how others react, we can only control o…
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Episode 36 - The B-word: Boundaries
29:00
29:00
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29:00
Send us a text Boundaries are about learning to share the power in any situation by identifying actions within your control. This week's and next week's episodes are all about boundaries. I have a special guest joining me next week, Olivia Vizachero, who will help me continue the conversation. Being a good girl means not having boundaries. It means…
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Episode 35 - Women Talking: Movie Review with Chelsea Paxton
1:20:38
1:20:38
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1:20:38
Send us a text This is a powerful episode about an important movie, ”Women Talking”. I'm joined by Chelsea Paxton as we delve into the film's themes and the significance of language and speaking up. Sadly, women are often not taken seriously and are taught to suppress their feelings. Questions like "Are you really hungry?" or "Did that really hurt?…
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Episode 34 - Why Finding Your Voice Matters with Kristin Jensen
39:44
39:44
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39:44
Send us a text This week my vocal instructor Kristin Jensen joins me to discuss finding our authentic voice. There are so many rules around how women's voices are supposed to be used. Women often soften or dull their voices and don’t feel comfortable speaking freely and openly. Good Girl programming can block you from finding your soul's voice and …
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Episode 33 - Good Girls and Money with Keina Newell
48:07
48:07
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48:07
Send us a text This week my guest is Keina Newell. Keina is a financial coach and founder of the Wealth Over Now program. We discuss our relationship with money and get into the connection between money and people pleasing, codependency, and perfectionism. Keina discusses how budgeting can be therapeutic and comforting. She talks about how gaining …
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