What It's Like to be Manic | Bipolar Disorder

Angus Eye Tea: Anxiety, Depression, And Other Cheerful Topics

Bipolar has its ups and downs, and today we’re going to talk about the up: manic. I used to cherish my manic episodes. I wasn’t sure what happened, but it was a miracle that my severe depression had broken and I finally was able to get things done AND do them really well. I had energy! I could clean the whole house. I could get ahead on my projects and hell, start some new ones while I was at it. I was social, witty, funny. My brain was back in action. I drank coffee and it made everything feel even better, so I drank more and more. At some point, the fun ran out and all that was left was anxiety. The same level of go-go-go energy was there, the same sleepless nights, the same brain jumping to a new thought every few seconds.

In this episode, I go through my symptoms of manic and all the confusion that comes with it. Below, I’ve linked previous episodes that either indirectly talked about my bipolar or were recorded when I was or was about to be manic. What fun! Have a lovely week, Heifers.

Moo,

Elaine

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TIMESTAMPS

00:00 The hype begins.

1:17 Explaining the basics of manic/hypomanic episodes. I’ll be using “manic” as the main term for the remainder of the episode.

3:22 Examples of times I panicked on the podcast, as well as episodes that were directly about me being bipolar but I talked around it because I hadn’t unleashed that revelation yet!

Episodes that were secretly bipolar related:

• Why I Didn’t Settle On My Medication
• How to “Come Out” with a Mental Health Disorder
• The surge of guests in April/Spring of last year
• My ShePodcasts Live 2019 Experience (Anxious Traveler): I stay up late folding laundry, talking about how 2019 is “not my year,” feeling very anxious
• One I didn’t mention in the pod, How to Manage Multiple Creative Projects | this is a cry for help lol

9:21 What are my manic symptoms? First up: talking fast.

12:51 Racing thoughts are fun, aren’t they? SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK.

15:27 Caffeine abuse and cleaning up my act so I didn’t have to go through another medication change.

19:32 Brain is only on one setting: GO, GO, GO. Which means that once the happy drains away, anxiety picks up and moves at the same speed. Everything becomes explosive.

22:35 Those are my main symptoms, and as a reminder, this would go on for a few days, not just for an hour. I used to wake up and wait for a beat to see what kind of day I would have: happy and joyous? Extremely anxious? Super depressed?

23:33 Why it’s easy to love my manic episodes and how it’s hard to try to quell it.

26:23 Overall feelings of my manic. A question I have to ask myself a lot these days, am I happy and excited? Or am I manic? I don’t always know the answer.

30:13 SHOUT OUT TO MY PATRONS: KT and Oti from For Your Reference pod, Laura, Taylor from Who Knows? pod, Rachel, and Vanessa from Fabled pod!

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I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/