Tips for Dismantling the Dismissing Codependent Dysfunction

Dismantling Dysfunction

Player FM - Internet Radio Done Right

הוסף לפני three שנים

תוכן מסופק על ידי Anne Dranitsaris and Heather Dranitsaris-Hilliard. כל תוכן הפודקאסטים כולל פרקים, גרפיקה ותיאורי פודקאסטים מועלים ומסופקים ישירות על ידי Anne Dranitsaris and Heather Dranitsaris-Hilliard או שותף פלטפורמת הפודקאסט שלהם. אם אתה מאמין שמישהו משתמש ביצירה שלך המוגנת בזכויות יוצרים ללא רשותך, אתה יכול לעקוב אחר התהליך המתואר כאן https://he.player.fm/legal.

We Have The Receipts

1
Battle Camp S1: Reality Rivalries with Dana Moon & QT 1:00:36

לפני 22 ימים1:00:36

הפעל מאוחר יותר

רשימות

לייק

אהבתי

1:00:36

Do you have fond childhood memories of summer camp? For a chance at $250,000, campers must compete in a series of summer camp-themed challenges to prove that they are unbeatable, unhateable, and unbreakable. Host Chris Burns is joined by the multi-talented comedian Dana Moon to recap the first five episodes of season one of Battle Camp . Plus, Quori-Tyler (aka QT) joins the podcast to dish on the camp gossip, team dynamics, and the Watson to her Sherlock Holmes. Leave us a voice message at www.speakpipe.com/WeHaveTheReceipts Text us at (929) 487-3621 DM Chris @FatCarrieBradshaw on Instagram Follow We Have The Receipts wherever you listen, so you never miss an episode. Listen to more from Netflix Podcasts.…

לפני שנתיים 49:21

MP3•בית הפרקים

It’s not uncommon for certain personalities to believe they are the smartest person in the room. But being in a relationship with someone like this is exhausting. Not surprising, those in a relationship with a Dismissing Codependent become fatigued by their arrogance, condescension and superiority. And when they try to confront it, well, the Dismissing Codependent simply disappears behind their wall, unreachable and untouchable making their partner even more furious.

Dismissive Codependents create psychological safety for themselves by acting independently within their relationships. These people want to be left alone to do their own thing and are afraid that if they engage too much with people, they will get bogged down unnecessarily. They keep themselves emotionally isolated for fear of being hurt, rejected or devalued. While the Dismissing Codependent wants to be in a relationship, they don’t share themselves with their partner, nor demonstrate any interest in what their partner wants to share, which can lead to resentment and further relationship problems.

In this episode, we continue our series of the four Submissive Codependent Strategies used in relationships, deep diving into the Dismissing Codependent Dysfunction. We talk about how it manifests in relationships and reveal that it is actually a survival coping strategy used by certain personality types because they got stuck in their development. We’ll also recount many stories (our own and of our clients) and share tips and tricks for dismantling this dysfunction. You might recognize yourself, your partner, or your boss in this session, so make sure you listen. Tune in to make sure you don’t miss out on the gems we share this week!

If you want to know more about Anne & Heather’s work with dismantling dysfunctions and unleashing relationship potential, check out: https://www.dranitsaris-hilliard.com

IN THIS EPISODE:

[02:08] Episode Introduction
[03:12] What Is the Dismissive Codependent Dysfunction?
[13:38] Behaviors of the Strategy
[28:15] Tips for Dismantling the Strategy
[45:30] Episode Gem
[46:54] Episode Wrap Up

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Dismissive Codependents primary relationship is the pursuit of knowledge and expertise with relationships taking second place. They spend more time in their inner world than in the external where we, of course, engage with and relate to others. They don’t see the point of putting energy into relationships in an area where they don’t feel competent.
Feeling incompetent frustrates their need to be knowledgeable which means that if they are asked about their feelings, they immediately go behind their wall, adopting an indifferent, aloof persona that uses dismissing tactics to communicate to the other person, they are not at all interested in this topic. Others feel shut down, dismissed and confused about their reactions.
The Dismissive Codependent has an aura of arrogance that makes getting close to them seem improbable. They are detached, act superior, and are argumentative for no other reason but to stop others from expressing feelings or to keep them at a distance. They express their negative opinions about the ideas of others directly and, at times, forcefully.
If you are struggling in relationships because you or others are using the Dismissing Dysfunctional Codependent Strategy, you are not alone. Contact us for more information on how we can help.

82 פרקים

#MBA #Business #Anne Dranitsaris #Heather Dranitsaris-Hilliard #Behaviorchange #Disengagedemployees #Dysfunctioninorganizations #Leadership #Leadershipdevelopment #Organizationaldevelopment #Productivity #Strivingstylespersonalitysystem #Systemicdysfunction #Podcasting Education #Employee #Highperformance

Tips for Dismantling the Dismissing Codependent Dysfunction

Dismantling Dysfunction

published לפני שנתיים

שתפו

MP3•בית הפרקים

If you want to know more about Anne & Heather’s work with dismantling dysfunctions and unleashing relationship potential, check out: https://www.dranitsaris-hilliard.com

IN THIS EPISODE:

[02:08] Episode Introduction
[03:12] What Is the Dismissive Codependent Dysfunction?
[13:38] Behaviors of the Strategy
[28:15] Tips for Dismantling the Strategy
[45:30] Episode Gem
[46:54] Episode Wrap Up

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Dismissive Codependents primary relationship is the pursuit of knowledge and expertise with relationships taking second place. They spend more time in their inner world than in the external where we, of course, engage with and relate to others. They don’t see the point of putting energy into relationships in an area where they don’t feel competent.
Feeling incompetent frustrates their need to be knowledgeable which means that if they are asked about their feelings, they immediately go behind their wall, adopting an indifferent, aloof persona that uses dismissing tactics to communicate to the other person, they are not at all interested in this topic. Others feel shut down, dismissed and confused about their reactions.
The Dismissive Codependent has an aura of arrogance that makes getting close to them seem improbable. They are detached, act superior, and are argumentative for no other reason but to stop others from expressing feelings or to keep them at a distance. They express their negative opinions about the ideas of others directly and, at times, forcefully.
If you are struggling in relationships because you or others are using the Dismissing Dysfunctional Codependent Strategy, you are not alone. Contact us for more information on how we can help.

82 פרקים

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Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Unseen Barriers to Accountability Caused by Chaotic Leaders 29:29

לפני 1 year29:29

29:29

These days it's increasingly common to hear leaders describe themselves as "a little ADHD," citing high energy and impulsive decisions as both a strength and a challenge in their professional lives. The same traits, often seen in some of the most successful organizational leaders, drive innovation and quick decision-making but can also lead to chaos, confusion, and increased insecurity among team members. In this episode, we’ll help listeners understand the complexities of chaotic leadership and its impact on accountability, exploring how the dynamic interplay between resilience, adaptability, and the need for structure and consistency affects organizational effectiveness. Through stories and our own experiences—like executives who pivot strategies with alarming frequency, and project leads struggling with maintaining a steady course—we will discuss the consequences this leadership style poses on the stability of the business. Tune in to gain practical advice on how to identify and address chaotic leadership within your organization. From fostering self-awareness among leaders to implementing strategies for clarity and communication, we'll provide actionable insights to help you navigate the challenges and maximize the potential of your team. Don't miss out on this opportunity to unlock the secrets to fostering accountability and driving success in your workplace. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Register for our ‘Why Leaders Avoid Fostering Accountability’ webinar where we delve into 4 mistakes that contribute to a lack of accountability in your organization and what you can do about it: www.leadingwithauthority.com/accountability IN THIS EPISODE: [01:25] Episode Introduction [02:50] What Is a Chaotic Leader? [09:05] Why Chaotic Leaders Thrive in Uncertainty? [18:40] Consequences of Chaotic Leadership [24:48] Episode Gem [27:14] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS Certain personality types or brain organizations are prone to chaotic leadership behaviors. Rational Intuitive brain types like Performers and Visionaries (ENTP and INTJ types) are known for their innovative ideas and love for exploring possibilities, which can lead to a lack of structure and follow-through, which might appear chaotic or inconsistent in a leadership role. Chaotic leadership creates an environment where team members are left guessing about priorities and expectations. It can lead to missed deadlines, redundant work, and a general sense of disorganization, affecting the team's ability to deliver results effectively. Team members may find themselves constantly adjusting to new directives, unable to complete tasks, or pursuing long-term goals due to the changing landscape. Leaders have a responsibility to develop and model effective leadership and interpersonal behaviors. This means tolerating frustration and delayed gratification, making decisions thoughtfully, communicating effectively, and managing one's emotions and impulses in a way that positively influences the organization and its members. Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this enlightening Accountability Blockers series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Unseen Barriers to Accountability Caused by Over-Nurturing Leaders 36:22

לפני 1 year36:22

36:22

Have you ever noticed how some teams don't hit their targets, despite having leaders who seem really supportive and caring? Or maybe you've seen situations where everyone seems happy, but the actual work results just aren't there? If these situations sound familiar, you're not alone, and we've got just the topic for you in our newest podcast episode - Unseen Barriers to Accountability Caused by Over-Nurturing Leaders. In this episode, we're taking a close look at a trend where leaders, in their effort to avoid conflict and keep everyone (including themselves) comfortable, might actually be holding their teams back from achieving their best. We'll talk about what happens when leaders focus more on their team’s feelings, as well as being liked and avoiding tough conversations, rather than on setting clear goals and expectations. Join us as we discuss real-life examples and share insights on how this well-intentioned approach can lead to a workplace where accountability is lost, and high performance is the exception, not the norm. This conversation is crucial for anyone who wants to understand the delicate balance between supporting and enabling their team. Tune in to get practical advice on how leaders can foster an environment that values growth and accountability while still being supportive. Whether you're a leader yourself or part of a team, this episode will offer valuable perspectives on improving workplace dynamics and achieving better results. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Register for our ‘Why Leaders Avoid Fostering Accountability’ webinar where we delve into 4 mistakes that contribute to a lack of accountability in your organization and what you can do about it: https://www.leadingwithauthority.com/accountability IN THIS EPISODE: [01:39] Episode Introduction [03:06] What Is an Over-Nuturing Leader? [14:52] Why Do Leaders Over-Nuture? [18:03] Consequences of Over-Nurturing Leadership [30:39] Episode Gem [33:36] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: · Over-nurturing leadership can inadvertently hinder accountability and excellence within teams by prioritizing emotional comfort over performance. It creates an environment where subjective feelings significantly influence decision-making processes, often at the expense of objective analysis and professional accountability. This approach may lead to a culture of mediocrity where high performers feel demotivated. · Leaders may adopt an over-nurturing approach due to a lack of confidence in handling difficult conversations, unresolved emotional needs, or a misunderstanding of what true support entails. Without proper leadership training, these leaders may default to what feels most comfortable or familiar to them. · Striking a balance between empathy and accountability is essential for effective leadership. Leaders need to provide clear expectations, offer direct and honest feedback, and cultivate an environment that values constructive criticism while still considering the emotional well-being of their team members. · Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this enlightening Accountability Blockers series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Hidden Blockers to Accountability Caused by Leaders Who Disappear 35:31

לפני 1 year35:31

35:31

Imagine your team is on a tight deadline, but when you reach out to your leader for crucial feedback, they're nowhere to be found. Their office is empty, their Teams status says 'Do Not Disturb,' and there's no response to emails, DMs, or Messenger. This scenario is all too familiar for many, reflecting a leadership gap where guidance and support are needed the most. In today's episode, we talk about the challenges posed by leaders who disappear, leaving their teams to navigate obstacles without any direction. During the podcast, we explore the impact of leaders who disappear on accountability, productivity, and team morale. We also address the issue of why some leaders withdraw during critical moments, avoiding decisions, feedback, and conflicts, leaving frustrated peers and direct reports in their wake. Our discussion includes strategies for identifying and addressing the issue of disappearing leaders. Understanding the reasons behind this behavior is the first step. We also consider measures to improve leadership presence and accountability, emphasizing the importance of communication and clear expectations. Listeners will find relatable experiences and practical advice in this episode. From real-life examples of leadership absence and its effect on team performance to actionable solutions for fostering engaged and present leadership, we cover the essentials for anyone facing this challenge. Join us as we tackle how to turn absent leaders into engaged, accountable figures who drive team success and maintain high morale. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone seeking to bridge the leadership gap and promote a culture of accountability within their teams. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ IN THIS EPISODE: [00:59] Episode Introduction [01:38] What Is a Disappearing Leader? [06:52] Why Do Leaders Disappear? [20:39] Consequences of Disappearing Leaders [29:07] Episode Gem [32:13] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: Disappearing leadership behavior is characterized by a pattern of absence when their presence is most needed, be it in decision-making, conflict resolution, or providing essential support to their team. Because it isn't identified as an issue, it isn't dealt with. Instead, employees will talk about their leader as "so busy" or "always in meetings," excusing this dysfunctional behavior instead of getting help to address it. Disappearing leaders might not necessarily be neglecting all their duties; instead, they selectively withdraw from situations that require active engagement, leadership visibility, or confrontational management. This selective absence can sometimes be misinterpreted as a hands-off management style, allowing the behavior to persist without being addressed. Some leaders use this coping strategy because they lack the necessary training in handling the interpersonal aspects of leadership, leading them to retreat instead of confronting challenges. The absence of proper training in issue resolution and team management leaves these leaders ill-equipped to handle difficult situations. Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this enlightening Accountability Blockers series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us. Register below for our upcoming exclusive webinar, Why Leaders Avoid Fostering Accountability, where we delve into 4 mistakes that contribute to a lack of accountability in your organization and what you can do about it. Link: https://www.leadingwithauthority.com/accountability…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Hidden Blockers to Accountability Caused by Leaders Who Bully 44:49

לפני 1 year44:49

44:49

Picture this: you step into your workplace, a space where you spend most of your waking hours, only to face subtle threats, overt hostility, or being outright ignored by your leader. Instead of feeling supported, you have a leader who resorts to bullying behavior to either make themselves look good or to get things done. While some leaders believe behaviors like yelling and dressing you down for a minor mistake are a sign of strength, more often, it's about control and insecurity. So why does this happen, and why is it normal in many organizations? Usually, it's because of a lack of leadership development and emotional intelligence and because the culture allows it. When they don't know how to consciously manage performance, they overpower, thinking it's going to motivate. And the impact it has on accountability is measurable. Instead of motivating, it backfires, and this type of leadership behavior causes employees to shut down, not level up. Other effects – increased stress, anxiety, reduced job satisfaction, and a significant hit to both morale and productivity in the workplace negatively impact productivity, accountability, reduced innovation, and elevated staff turnover. In this episode, we explore the impact of bullying leaders on accountability. In addition to showing some of the ways bullying occurs, we'll provide insight into the reasons behind some leaders' unintentional use of bullying behaviors. Join us in this episode in the series on accountability so that bullying and other dysfunctional leadership behaviors don't become 'normalized' in your organization. Changing your approach to leadership can revolutionize your and your employees' work experiences. Don't miss out on this crucial conversation! If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ IN THIS EPISODE: [01:58] Episode Introduction [03:12] Why Do Leaders Bully? [05:19] How Does Bullying Show Up? [36:08] The Negative Impact of Bullying [38:14] Episode Gem [42:05] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: Employees subjected to bullying endure emotional turmoil, including stress, anxiety, and depression, leading to decreased job satisfaction, engagement, productivity, and increased absenteeism, as well as potential physical health issues. Bullying by leaders significantly impedes accountability. Leaders might resort to bullying due to a desire for absolute control, an inability to handle opposition or criticism constructively, or as a response to their own internal pressures and stress. Such behavior can create a culture of fear where employees are more focused on avoiding negative outcomes than on contributing positively A culture of bullying can lead to high staff turnover, with skilled employees leaving to escape the toxic environment. This turnover not only disrupts workflow and continuity but also places a strain on resources due to the constant need for recruitment and training of new employees. And the reputation of the organization can suffer, making it harder to attract top talent. Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this enlightening Accountability Blockers series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Hidden Blockers to Accountability: Shaming Employees into Poor Performance 34:03

לפני 1 year34:03

34:03

Have you ever seen a spark of creativity extinguished by a single dismissive remark from a leader? If so, you're not alone. In this episode of Dismantling Dysfunction, we talk about the unconscious shaming done by leaders and peers and reveal how this pervasive issue chips away at team morale and damages a culture of accountability. Imagine the chilling effect when a team member's bright idea is met with a "That's been tried before. Didn't you do your homework?" The room falls silent, the employee's spirit deflates, and a wave of discomfort spreads through the team. Join us as we discuss the subtle ways leaders, often unknowingly, demoralize their teams. We explore how this is not about intentional harm but about often unexamined behaviors that go unaddressed. We uncover the effects of thoughtless comments and how these can create a culture of fear and silence. This conversation isn't just about pointing out the problem; it's about understanding the profound impact of our words and actions in leadership roles and how we can use empathetic communication to motivate our teams. Tune in to this episode to hear all about the complexities of unconscious shaming in leadership. We offer a unique perspective, blending stories with strategies for change, guiding both leaders and team members toward creating a more positive and accountable work environment. Tune in to learn how to recognize these patterns, the importance of emotional intelligence in leadership, and how nurturing the culture of accountability can transform team dynamics. Don't miss this crucial conversation—it's a game-changer for anyone committed to building a healthier, more collaborative workplace culture! If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ IN THIS EPISODE: ● [01:33] Episode Introduction ● [02:50] What Is Unintentional Shaming? ● [08:01] Effects of Unintentional Shaming ● [18:59] Why Leaders Unintentionally Shame Employees ● [27:54] Episode Gem ● [31:07] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: ● Many organizations face challenges to employee accountability due to leaders who shame their employees unknowingly. This isn't about intentional cruelty but rather subtle behaviors and language that undermine individual and team morale. It's not like they set out to hurt people with their behavior; for most of them, it's an unconscious self-protective strategy. ● Some leaders believe that shaming employees can be a motivating force, not realizing the negative impact it can have on morale and productivity. This approach stems from a misunderstanding of what truly motivates individuals. Rather than fostering motivation, it instills fear, reduces self-esteem, and creates mistrust and hostility. ● Shaming is often a defense mechanism used to mask personal insecurities and cope with stress. Feeling uncertain about their leadership capabilities, leaders may unconsciously project these feelings onto their employees. This projection can manifest as shaming or belittling behavior, where the leader deflects attention from their insecurities by focusing on the perceived shortcomings of their team members. ● Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this enlightening Accountability Blockers series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Hidden Blockers to Accountability Caused by Narcissistic Leaders 30:45

לפני 1 year30:45

30:45

In the latest episode of "Dismantling Dysfunction," we delve into the significant impact of narcissistic leadership on workplace accountability. We highlight the unique challenges posed by leaders who exhibit narcissistic traits such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy towards others. The discussion underscores how these characteristics lead to a toxic work environment, where credit hoarding, denial of mistakes, and gaslighting are prevalent. A key focus of the episode is the detrimental effect these leadership styles have on organizational culture. Narcissistic leaders often create a culture of blame and secrecy, hampering open communication and effective decision-making. This atmosphere not only erodes trust within the team but also hinders the organization's overall progress and adaptability. The hosts emphasize the necessity for transparent and empathetic leadership, which is crucial for fostering a positive and productive work environment. Tune in to find out practical strategies to manage and mitigate the challenges posed by narcissistic leaders. Learn the importance of maintaining consistent standards of accountability and not taking the behavior of such leaders personally. By promoting alignment with stated goals and behaviors, organizations can effectively counteract the negative impact of narcissistic leadership, ensuring a healthier, more accountable workplace culture. The episode serves as a valuable resource for leaders and professionals seeking to navigate and transform challenging leadership dynamics and blockers to accountability in their organizations. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ IN THIS EPISODE: ● [00:00] Episode Introduction ● [03:42] Narcissistic Leadership Traits ● [09:00] Challenges to Accountability ● [22:45] Episode Gem ● [26:49] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: ● Narcissistic leaders are characterized by their charismatic yet self-centered nature, significantly impacting workplace dynamics. They are a significant accountability blocker as their behavior is often marked by a lack of empathy, a tendency to hoard credit, a propensity for denying mistakes, and engaging in gaslighting behaviors. ● Narcissistic leadership behaviors contribute to the creation of toxic work environments, erode trust among team members, and hinder effective decision-making. These leaders frequently set unrealistic expectations for their teams, leading to employee burnout and a decline in productivity and performance. ● Practical strategies for managing narcissistic leaders are offered, highlighting the importance of adhering to consistent standards of accountability and advising against taking the behavior of such leaders personally. The need for alignment with stated goals and behaviors as a key strategy to counteract the problematic tendencies of narcissistic leaders is emphasized. ● Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this insightful episode on how Narcissistic Leaders block Accountability on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast and what you can do about it. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Remedies for the Epidemic of Accountability | Part Six: Engaging for Growth 30:51

לפני 1 year30:51

30:51

Leaders often miss crucial opportunities to engage meaningfully with their employees when reviewing performance, primarily due to a lack of knowledge or comfort in handling these sensitive discussions. Many leaders, uncertain about how to balance feedback with encouragement, may default to a more objective or critical approach. The discomfort leaders feel in navigating these conversations can lead to a transactional approach, where the review is treated as a checklist exercise rather than an opportunity for meaningful interaction. Reviewing performance is a pivotal moment where employees seek validation and connection. When leaders focus solely on metrics and outcomes, neglecting the human element, employees may feel undervalued and disconnected. This can erode an employee's sense of belonging and loyalty to the organization. Employees need to feel that their leaders not only recognize their contributions but also understand their challenges and aspirations. Without this, there's a missed opportunity to build trust and rapport, which are critical for long-term employee engagement and retention. Tune in to find out more about how to engage while reviewing performance. Filled with real-life examples and actionable advice, this episode is a vital resource for any leader navigating these complex responsibilities. We emphasize the importance of leadership training in empathetic communication and emotional intelligence that equips leaders with the skills to conduct these reviews more effectively. Such an approach not only makes the experience more positive for the employee but also significantly enhances the leader’s ability to truly engage with and understand their team. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Register for our webinar "Why Leaders Avoid Fostering Accountability": https://www.leadingwithauthority.com/accountability IN THIS EPISODE: [01:34] Episode Introduction [02:57] Increased Leadership Responsibilities [07:28] Why Leaders Don’t Engage with Employees [14:12] Employee (Dis)engagement [25:45] Episode Gem [29:30] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: Leaders who have been brought up in very traditional corporate cultures might view employee engagement as a "soft" or "modern" concept. They may believe in a clear divide between management and workers, and that it's not necessary to engage employees beyond ensuring they complete their tasks. Employees can be hurt by their leader's lack of interest or availability. Their need to feel they are valuable is diminished, as is their need to feel their work is important to the overall goals, leading to disengagement and resentment. When leaders don’t prioritize their ongoing relationship with their employees, misunderstandings and hurt feelings arise. Strengthening relationships with employees during the accountability cycle is crucial for fostering trust, understanding, and collaboration. Asking questions, letting the employee lead, empathizing with the employee experience show respect and understanding. We invite employees to have a conversation about their performance, not to talk to them. Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this enlightening Accountability series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast, as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Remedies for the Epidemic of Accountability | Part Five: Reviewing for Growth 31:57

לפני 2 years31:57

31:57

Ever heard a leader say they skipped reviewing their employee performance because they “don’t have time” or because "Mercury was in retrograde"? While we all chuckle at the latter, there's an underlying truth we can't ignore - leaders often dance around performance evaluations, and in this episode, we unpack why. It's hard to believe, but some leaders sidestep evaluating their team's performance, opting out of what they view as a judgmental process. No clear expectations, no celebration of successes, no pinpointed development areas - just a pat on the back and a vague “good for you” or "better luck next time." It sounds almost fictitious, but it happens more often than you might think! Often, this reluctance can be traced back to a lack of proper leadership training. Leaders may not have been equipped with the necessary skills to conduct effective, empathetic, and empowering performance evaluations. From the assumption that "my employees already know how they're doing" to the fear of difficult conversations, leaders find themselves avoiding reviewing performance. But what if we told you that this doesn't have to be a once-a-year, suit-and-tie, cold-sweat kind of ordeal? What if performance reviews could be as natural as a morning huddle, as constant as the daily coffee run, and as engaging as a team brainstorm? Join us as we dissect the misconceptions and reveal the truths about ongoing performance reviews. We'll explore how to keep them simple, organic, and an integral part of the leadership journey. So stay tuned as we navigate the intricacies of performance reviews and how, with the right approach and training, they can become a positive force for leadership and team development. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ IN THIS EPISODE: [01:29] Episode Introduction [07:07] Why Ongoing Performance Review Matters [11:47] Why Leaders Avoid Performance Reviews [16:17] Episode Gem [30:20] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: Reviewing for growth is when leaders take the time to reflect on performance relative to expectations and determine what was completed effectively and what wasn’t. This allows thought about the next steps for development or improvement. When leaders say, "It's too time-consuming," they're often expressing a reluctance to engage deeply with their team. The underlying reason could be a lack of confidence in their leadership skills or feeling overwhelmed with their responsibilities. Reviewing frequently would mean they'd have to be consistent and present; not everyone feels equipped for that. In avoiding performance reviews, leaders miss out on valuable opportunities to foster closer connections, understand employee aspirations, and identify latent challenges that might not manifest as obvious complaints. This proactive approach not only bolsters the leader-employee relationship but also meets the need of employees to feel a sense of belonging and recognition. Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this thrilling Accountability series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast, as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

1
Remedies for the Epidemic of Accountability | Part Four: Confronting for Realignment 35:24

לפני 2 years35:24

35:24

Every leader has had to confront an employee's performance when a simple correction hasn't worked at some point in their career. It's part of the job. But when leaders mistake confrontation and consequences with punishment, they make the idea of a candid conversation even more daunting. Add to that the lack of training leaders receive to conduct an issue-resolution conversation about performance, and you get leaders going in the other direction – avoiding performance. Join us as we discuss how the lack of training leaders to confront performance leads to taking employee performance personally, using (un)intentional shaming or guilt-inducing, and impulsive and emotionally driven behavior that results in diminished accountability, employee morale, and engagement. And that's not the best part. We tell you how to effectively address performance issues while engaging your employees. From much-needed preparation to crystal-clear communication, we emphasize the importance of aligning consequences with specific behaviors. The aim? To create mutual understanding and foster an environment where both leaders and employees can thrive. If you've ever felt that knot in your stomach when confronting performance or been unsure how to guide a team member back to their best self, this episode is tailor-made for you. Through personal anecdotes and lessons learned, we highlight the fine line between punitive actions and steering team members back on track. So, grab a notebook, take a deep breath, and join us—it's time to transform apprehension into actionable insights for leadership success. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, "So, You Think You Can Lead?": https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Register for our webinar "Why Leaders Avoid Fostering Accountability": https://www.leadingwithauthority.com/accountability IN THIS EPISODE: [01:39] Episode Introduction [03:15] What Consequences Are [08:31] How Not to Confront Performance [11:16] How to Confront Performance Effectively [29:37] Episode Gem [32:23] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: One of the most critical requirements of leaders is knowing when they are taking their employees' misaligned performance personally and how to depersonalize to remain objective. It's essential to focus on the performance issue rather than making it about the employee as an individual, separating the performance issue from the individual employee's character. As leaders, managing our emotions and frustrations during these discussions is paramount. It begins with self-awareness. Leaders must recognize their emotions and judgments regarding employees and acknowledge how these feelings impact the conversation. In the absence of emotional self-awareness, leaders are more likely to use employee guilt- or shame-inducing statements that lead to demotivation and disengagement of employees. Consequences act as a catalyst for change, ensuring that employees grasp the seriousness of performance issues. However, ensuring that consequences are fair, proportionate, and directly related to the performance problem is vital. Transparency is key when delivering consequences. Whether you're a seasoned leader or a new manager, join us in this thrilling Accountability series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

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Remedies for the Epidemic of Accountability - Part Three: Ensuring Alignment with Expectations 28:31

לפני 2 years28:31

28:31

In the bustling corridors of a rapidly growing tech firm, CEO David found himself grappling with a dilemma. His teams were vibrant and intelligent, but something was amiss. Projects were lagging, and the quality wasn't consistent. At team meetings, David provided clear instructions, trusting that would suffice. Yet, when milestones were missed, he hesitated to step in, fearing confrontation. Does this sound familiar? In this podcast episode, we explore the challenges faced by leaders like David. Why do so many of us, despite our best intentions, shy away from setting clear benchmarks and guiding our teams effectively? Here's a prevailing myth: correcting performance equates to confrontation, damaged relationships, or quiet quitting. This misconception, driven by fear, often leaves employees abandoned post-instruction, leading to an environment of neglect rather than empowerment. We'll uncover the layers behind this avoidance and the price organizations pay for such omissions. Imagine a world where mere instructions magically lead to flawless execution—a world many leaders, unfortunately, believe exists. But as we'll explore, this belief is not only detached from reality but can also be detrimental. We want to emphasize a vital message: leaders have the opportunity to elevate their impact by embracing authentic, transparent conversations about performance and accountability. While celebrating achievements is essential, combining it with clarity brings out the best in everyone. If you're looking to cultivate a culture of accountability that thrives on both commendation and constructive feedback, join us! Let's redefine leadership and reshape the narrative around performance correction together. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, “So, You Think You Can Lead?”: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Sign up for our newsletters: https://bit.ly/dismantlingdysfunction IN THIS EPISODE: [01:30] Episode Introduction [10:11] Why Corrective Feedback Matters [11:56] Fears Surrounding Giving Feedback [23:41] Episode Gem [28:06] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: Observing how prevalent it is for leaders to delegate tasks to employees and then leave them to navigate the complexities alone is concerning. This “sink or swim” approach is far from conducive to nurturing employee growth. It creates an environment where people feel unsupported and undervalued, often leading to a lack of motivation and underperformance. Leaders often hesitate to address misalignments or mistakes, fearing their feedback might be perceived as an attack or criticism. The root of this misconception lies in the often-held belief that correction inherently carries a negative connotation. As a result, leaders tend to avoid these essential conversations, hoping to maintain a harmonious workplace environment. Leaders’ hesitation to say anything can stem from various concerns – worrying about how the course correction will be received, the potential impact on the relationship, or even fearing retaliation. Whether you're a seasoned leader, a new manager, or just curious about what's been tearing organizations apart, join us in this thrilling Accountability series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast, as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

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Remedies for the Epidemic of Accountability | Part Two: Setting the Stage for Success 34:15

לפני 2 years34:15

34:15

Dismantling Dysfunction

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Remedies for the Epidemic of Accountability | Part One: Emotional Intelligence and Defining Expectations 36:25

לפני 2 years36:25

36:25

Leaders today are burdened by increased expectations to achieve results without appearing to micromanage, define things too clearly (for fear of being labelled a control freak) and manage employee engagement. Some leaders seem to naturally possess the knack for seamlessly getting their team aligned with expectations, achieving exceptional results. But increasingly, leaders are struggling to know what to do to get employees to get their work done in a timely fashion. Despite telling employees exactly what to do and when to do it, leaders are dealing with their own frustration with inertia, quiet quitting, and overt opposition to their expectations. If you are experiencing this with your team or in your organization and are curious to find out what to do about a lack of accountability, join us live. In this episode, we explore the pivotal role of Emotional Intelligence (EI) in leadership and why a lack of it is contributing to the issue. Drawing from our collective experiences, we'll discuss how underlying emotions, especially fear, frequently manifest as the common refrain, "I’m too busy." Tuning in LIVE, we'll also emphasize the importance of defining clear expectations for our teams. (Spoiler alert - a key takeaway will be understanding that without clear expectations, even the best of efforts might fall short in promoting accountability.) For all of us in leadership roles, seeking to understand the intricate balance between EI, performance accountability, and the art of setting clear expectations, this episode will offer clarity. We hope you'll join us in this exploration, aimed at enhancing our roles as leaders and building stronger, more accountable teams. If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, “So, You Think You Can Lead?”: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Sign up for our newsletters: https://bit.ly/dismantlingdysfunction IN THIS EPISODE: [01:16] Episode Introduction [05:24] Fear in Leadership [08:29] The importance of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership [24:30] Defining Expectations [27:39] Episode Gem [35:13] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: While as a concept Accountability is a straightforward, objective process, the reality is that it’s laden with personal feelings, doubts, and, honestly, a whole lot of avoidance. Teams pick up on that energy, sensing when things are skewed, unclear, or just plain unfair. And when morale dips, the entire organization's productivity and cohesion suffer. Emotions are like the silent puppeteers behind the scenes, making us dance to their whims, often without us even realizing it. As leaders, there are moments when we know what needs to be done, but fear holds us back. Maybe it's fear of confrontation, fear of rejection, or even fear of admitting we might be wrong. But here's the issue: rarely do leaders admit to themselves that they are afraid. By really tackling those fears and separating emotions from the actual metrics, leaders have the power to turn things around. This makes Accountability not something to dread, but a powerful tool that drives growth in the organization. Whether you're a seasoned leader, a new manager, or just curious about what's been tearing organizations apart, join us in this thrilling Accountability series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast, as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

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Accountability Series Introduction 37:14

לפני 2 years37:14

37:14

Struggling with the "A-word" in your organization? You're not alone! Accountability is more than just a buzzword these days – it's morphed into a systemic problem pervading workplaces all around the globe. Prepare to embark on a brand-new series with us - we've been eager to unveil this for months! Yes, we're diving headfirst into ACCOUNTABILITY, a subject that's ignited endless conversations, debates, and confusion in organizational cultures everywhere. Leaders shivering at the mere mention of accountability, productivity spiraling downwards, misconceptions and fears aplenty—we've seen it all. Now, we're ready to shine a light on this growing epidemic. Join us as we dissect the widespread lack of accountability, unraveling why it's become such a pressing challenge in modern leadership. We'll uncover the myths, fears, and trends that are skewing our approach to accountability, resulting in a slump in both performance and productivity. From sidestepping the "control freak" stigma to grappling with defining, amending, and addressing performance issues, we're covering every angle. You'll hear authentic examples and professional insights on how leadership contributes to this dilemma and the ways to turn the tide. Whether you're a veteran leader or a newcomer to the helm, this series pledges to furnish you with the strategies and wisdom required to cultivate a flourishing, accountable environment. Ready to redefine leadership? Don't miss this powerful episode! Click that subscribe button, activate the notification bell, and offer a thumbs up if you find value in our insights. Let's venture together down the path of responsibility and success! If you want to know more about leading effectively, check out our book, “So, You Think You Can Lead?”: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B07QMVKNSV/ Sign up for our newsletters: https://bit.ly/dismantlingdysfunction IN THIS EPISODE: [01:55] Series Introduction [05:05] Why Are Leaders Afraid of Accountability? [12:26] How Leaders Contribute to the Epidemic [33:07] Episode Gem [35:51] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: The misconception that accountability equates to an autocratic style of leadership often leads to leaders being labeled as 'control freaks', even when their behavior is not rigid or dictatorial. Many leaders fear that enforcing accountability might be perceived as overbearing, possibly causing team resentment and decreased morale. Without training, leaders struggle to define expectations, correct performance misalignments with constructive feedback, or confront misalignment through appropriate and escalating consequences. And because they don’t want to look like they don’t know what they are doing, they then resort to blaming employees as a way to mask their own deficiencies. True leadership starts with self-accountability. Leaders must first hold themselves accountable for their decisions, actions, and the overall performance of their team. This self-accountability is more than just acknowledging responsibility; it involves a deep understanding of one's impact on others. So, whether you're a seasoned leader, a new manager, or just curious about what's been tearing organizations apart, join us in this thrilling Accountability series on the Dismantling Dysfunction Podcast, as we pull back the curtain on what's really going on. Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

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Dismantling the Imposter Syndrome of the INFP 35:19

לפני 2 years35:19

35:19

Get ready for an immersive journey into the intriguing universe of INFPs! These creative, introspective, and deeply emotional individuals are known for their profound inner lives and rich tapestry of feelings. In today’s episode, we’re going to peel back the layers of the INFP personality, revealing their innate warmth, integrity, and charisma hidden beneath their enigmatic exterior. We’ll explore their paradoxical nature of self-criticism and perfectionism, guiding you through the complexity of their inner world. Join us as we dive into the turbulent sea of Imposter Syndrome, an all-too-familiar foe for many INFPs. Their unique gifts and talents often clash with an overwhelming sense of self-doubt and the relentless quest for a mythical “fatal flaw.” This internal battle can transform their usually liberating creative process into an emotional whirlwind, leaving even their achievements feeling insignificant. But what if there’s a way through the storm? Fasten your seat belts as we embark on an exhilarating exploration into how Imposter Syndrome weaves its tale in the lives of INFPs. We’re set to unravel the knot of their self-woven victim narratives, unmask their perfectionism, and confront their constant negative self-referencing. Together, we’ll unearth the profound real-world effects of this syndrome – from dwindling job satisfaction and stalled career growth to declining mental health and suppressed creativity. So, plug in those earphones and join us on this insightful expedition, shedding light on the dynamic dance between the INFP personality and Imposter Syndrome! If you want to know more about the Imposter Syndrome, check out our book, “Power Past the Imposter Syndrome”: https://amzn.to/40P0GvX Sign up for our newsletters: https://bit.ly/dismantlingdysfunction IN THIS EPISODE: [02:38] Episode Introduction [04:56] Why Does the INFP Experience Imposter Syndrome? [09:01] Impact of Imposter Syndrome on INFPs [30:29] Episode Gem [34:16] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: INFPs tend to downplay their accomplishments, always thinking they could’ve done better and should’ve been more perfect. This is particularly true regarding their self-expression or creative endeavors, where there’s no clear “right” or “wrong”, and no concrete guidelines. This subjectivity can intensify their feelings of not being good enough and falling short of their lofty standards. Being the deep thinkers that they are, INFPs often end up harboring an intense fear that there’s something seriously wrong with them. They’re constantly looking for a “fatal flaw,” some major shortcoming that doesn’t exist, but they’re convinced it’s there. In their minds, finding this flaw would confirm their suspicion that they’re really an imposter. INFPs are highly creative individuals. However, the persistent self-doubt associated with Imposter Syndrome can stifle their creativity. The fear of their work being inadequate or of being exposed as a fraud hinders their confidence and their ability to think outside the box and come up with innovative ideas or solutions. Join us throughout our series on how the Imposter Syndrome shows up in the 16 MBTI types (or 8 Striving Styles). If you are not sure what your Striving Styles is, make sure to visit www.whoareyoumeanttobe.com to complete the assessment! Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

Dismantling Dysfunction

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Dismantling the Imposter Syndrome of the ISFP 29:01

לפני 2 years29:01

29:01

Get ready to dive into the captivating world of ISFPs - those super-creative, free-spirited individuals who dance to the beat of their own drum. These enchanting personalities seem to effortlessly waltz in and out of societal norms, choosing instead to carve out their own unique path. They're champions of their values and ideals, defenders of peace, and experts in evasion when conflicts loom. Add to that their deep-rooted loyalty and open-mindedness, and their embodiment of the 'live and let live' principle, and you've got some truly admirable individuals. Now, let's turn a page and talk about the elephant in the room - Imposter Syndrome. Our creative, peace-loving ISFPs sometimes wrestle with this uninvited guest, especially given their unique style of communication. When words fail, they express through art, music, or movement, which can make them seem distant or unapproachable. This misunderstanding can make them feel like an outsider, triggering feelings of inadequacy, and causing them to question their own worth. The question is - what triggers these feelings and how can ISFPs navigate these hurdles? Well, stay tuned! This new episode delves into the depths of ISFPs' Imposter Syndrome, exploring how their self-doubt, sensitivity to criticism, and subjective artistic pursuits fuel this feeling of being an imposter. How does their inner decision-making process contribute to the syndrome? Why do they often dismiss their own strengths and achievements? And, most importantly, how does it affect their personal and professional growth, stress levels, self-confidence, and relationships? Get ready to unravel all these mysteries and more in our deep dive into the heart of an ISFP! If you want to know more about the Imposter Syndrome, check out our book, “Power Past the Imposter Syndrome”: https://amzn.to/40P0GvX Sign up for our newsletters: https://bit.ly/dismantlingdysfunction IN THIS EPISODE: [01:41] Episode Introduction [04:44] Why Does the ISFP Experience Imposter Syndrome? [10:36] Impact of Imposter Syndrome on ISFPs [24:58] Episode Gem [27:29] Episode Wrap Up KEY TAKEAWAYS: ISFPs are known for their sensitivity and introspection. They frequently face moments of self-doubt and minimize their achievements because they seek perfection, especially in their self and creative expression. The subjective nature of their artistic pursuits can magnify these feelings of inadequacy. One factor contributing to ISFPs' Imposter Syndrome is their struggle with verbal communication, preferring other forms of expression like art, music, or movement. This leads to self-judgment and feelings of not being friendly or good enough, especially when others perceive them as distant or unapproachable. Their demeanor may be misunderstood, leaving them feeling like something is wrong with them. ISFPs may become hesitant to take on new challenges or explore unfamiliar territories, as they worry about the possibility of failure or being exposed as incompetent. This fear-based mindset can hinder their progress and prevent them from tapping into their true capabilities and exploring their full potential. Join us throughout our series on how the Imposter Syndrome shows up in the 16 MBTI types (or 8 Striving Styles). If you are not sure what your Striving Styles is, make sure to visit www.whoareyoumeanttobe.com to complete the assessment! Remember, if you need help dealing with dysfunctions at work or in your personal life, reach out to us.…

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