EP244 Empowered Or Entitled? How Anger Over Your Results Can Lead To Fertility Success OR Sabotage

Fearlessly Fertile Podcast with Rosanne Austin

Are you harboring anger about your results thus far on your fertility journey? In this episode I am going to break down the very real consequences that can result from staying stuck in “pissed mode” as you live this journey. If you want to be sure you are moving toward success, not sabotage, turn this one up!

Want the journal page that goes with this episode? CLICK HERE

Transcript:
Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you’ve got to have the mindset for it. It’s time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I’m your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist.

I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43 despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey.

It’s time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let’s do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile Podcast Episode 244. Empowered or Entitled? How anger over your results can lead to your fertility success? My love, I am so excited to be here with you this week. We’ve had such an incredible run of interviews with Miracle Mamas, amazing experts.

It’s just been fantastic. And so I thought it was time for us to, you know, get back together and really roll up our sleeves and, and, and speak one to one in this way. Look, if you haven’t noticed, 2023 is coming to a close fast. And if you aren’t prepared, you’re gonna find yourself on New Year’s Eve, like, saying what the actual fuck just happened.

Right? Like, it comes that fast. So the point of all this is to help you get prepared, so you’re not one of these sad mofos pouting in the corner at a New Year’s Eve party if you, if you go to New Year’s Eve parties or, or finding yourself like crying yourself to sleep on December 31st. I don’t want you to do that.

Life is too fucking short for that bullshit, and this baby is way too important for you to be spending more than two fucking minutes inside. You have got to get with the program, mama. This is such a critically important time of your life, that you want to direct all of this power that you have locked up inside of you.

In a direction, you want to point that energy in a direction that’s actually going to help you not keep you stuck, okay? So, with that being said, I also want to let you know that very soon, the lucky ladies that are in my mailing list Are gonna be getting their exclusive invitations for my brand new 4 day challenge, Fearlessly Fertile, Expect to Expect 2024!

It’s gonna be amazing, so we’re gonna be sending out invitations for that. There is no question in my mind, this is going to be the most Lit, crazy, amazing, off the chain, get shit done challenge that I have ever done. And anyone who is serious about getting and staying pregnant in 24 is gonna fuckin be there.

Because, I mean, I don’t know if you’ve been If you don’t follow me on Instagram, you’re missing out. I mean The number of women that have gotten pregnant, I mean, like, the team and I are just, our jaws are dropping over just the sheer number of women over the past couple months, and this, frankly, this entire year, that are absolutely punching less than 1 percent odds in the face, and hey, If you’ve been listening to the podcast, you’ve heard Megan, you’ve heard Pauline, you’ve heard so many women this year, okay?

Talking about beating 1 percent odds. This is the power of fucking mindset. Okay, when you add mindset to the mix on this journey, you become fucking unstoppable. So if you want some of that, you want to learn some of the amazing shit that I am going to be sharing with you November 13th, 14th, 15th, and 16th.

Get your ass registered the minute those invitations come out. And if you’re not currently receiving the value packed, amazing, inspirational emails that I send out every single week, To tens of thousands of women all over the world. Get your ass on my list by downloading something for fucking free. Even, hey, in the show notes to this episode, just click the link, baby, download the show notes, and you will be included in getting an invitation for this four day challenge.

I just I am so freaking stoked and so inspired by all of my ladies this year that we’re really going to bring it in this challenge. I mean, anyone who has been to a challenge that I’ve done knows that we deliver such insane value, but this year we’re going to take it up a notch because I’m just feeling it.

I’m just feeling it. Just so many women holding babies right now, or looking down and seeing pregnant bellies, that I just, I just want to end this year strong. So, be on the lookout for that. So, let’s talk about empowered or entitled, and really how letting anger over your results Can lead you to either fertility success or sabotage because look, you have to understand you are either moving forward on this journey or you’re sliding back.

A lot of people get this impression that, oh, I can just hold, I can just stay where I’m at, I can just kind of maintain. And that things are going to be okay. No, they’re not. Life is consistently moving forward. Life is like a raging river. It is constantly moving forward. And so do you. Okay. So let me give you the framework for this, because you might be thinking entitled, empowered, like what the fuck do you mean?

Okay. So here’s the thing. Something that I hear from women all the time is, Roseanne, but, you know, I’m doing all the stuff. I’m, I’m levitating around my house. I meditate so much. And, you know, gluten and dairy hasn’t passed my lips in fucking five years. You know, all this stuff. We, we start telling ourselves, I’m doing all the things, you know, fuck all this, you know, I’m doing all the things and I’m still not getting pregnant.

Well, here’s the problem with that. Okay, that’s essentially what I mean when I say entitled, because. People will do the things for like three months, maybe even three years, and then get pissed. Why the fuck is my baby not here? You know, I’ve been doing all the things, right? And when you really break that statement down, or when you break that position down, like if you, and look, we’ve all been there, okay?

Like, we’ve all been there. I remember thinking that same exact shit. Like, you know, I mean, fuck it. I’ve been doing all this stuff and nothing’s working. You know, fuck all of you. You know, like, we get into this place where we allow that anger to basically feed a sense of entitlement. Hey, you know what?

I’ve been on this journey for three years. Where the fuck is my baby? Right? Like, we’re waiting for a hamburger or something, you know, like, Oh, you know, I paid my money, where’s my baby? Right? Think about how entitled and fucked up that is. Right? I’ve spent the time, I’ve spent the money, where the fuck is my baby?

You know, I did all the diets, you know, I did all this coaching, like, where’s my baby? Right? And while that is understandable, I’m telling you, baby girl, like I’m going to love you enough to give it to you straight. That is some entitled bullshit, because here’s the thing, the most important things in this life, take time, take work, take investment.

Okay. It’s not like you’re walking up to the baby making fucking vending machine and putting in your money and just like waiting for this baby to come out like, right. And then just moving on to the next shit. All the fertility journey, because it is one, right? Like I’m trying to come up with like some other name for it.

Cause I actually kind of fertility journey, like just as a side note, that kind of, it feels really weird to me. I don’t know why I don’t like that term, but it is what it is, but nonetheless. It is a journey. It’s a journey of unknown duration, and this journey, as you may have heard me say in the past, it really is an invitation.

It’s, it’s like one of the best things that could ever happen, and I look, and I, I feel the daggers. I totally feel daggers right now. Try not to throw your phone or whatever device you’re listening to me on right now as you heard me say that. This journey actually is a fucking gift. It, it is your It is like your golden ticket to the next level in this life, because it’s going to change you, it’s going to challenge you in the best fucking way possible.

And for those women that have the guts to stick it out and keep saying yes, it’s going to put a baby in your arms, and you will never fucking forget the amount of power you have locked up inside of you. Like, I mean At the time of this recording, I just had one of my beloved ladies over the weekend announce that she was pregnant on my Fearlessly Fertile Method call, and I mean, everybody in the group had been pulling for her, we had all done a group visualization and meditation for her, and boom, I mean, she even said it on the call, she’s like, I know that you guys holding space for me really helped me make this happen, and And that’s really what I’m saying, and she’d been trying for some time, and there were so many cancel cycles, canceled interventions, you know, just all that craziness.

And she made the change from being angry and entitled, she became empowered, okay? So I really want you to pay attention and if you haven’t downloaded the worksheet that comes with this episode, please make sure that you do because this is really going to help you take this concept and apply it in your life.

So, and you’ll see on the worksheet there are two columns. One for entitled and the other for impact. Now, I want you to just take a minute and really think about this. Where are you feeling and behaving in an entitled way on your journey? And just for clarification, I want to remind you, the entitlement is, Hey, you know what?

I’ve been doing all the things, you know, where’s my baby? I’ve paid the money, I’ve seen the doctors, I’ve gotten the coaching, where’s my baby? Right? And just being pissed about that. That’s what I mean when I say entitled. I want you to write down where you feel entitled, and how that shows up. Right? In the column that says entitled, where are you feeling it?

Right? Could it be with time? Well, jeez motherfuckers, I’ve been on this journey for five years, where’s my frickin baby? And, you know, and it’s funny because this comes up even with women that I have coached, like initially when they’re, they’re working through their coaching, they might say, well, you know, my God, I did this program and where’s my baby?

And it’s like, huh? Right? Just give me a second here. Right? Like, Hey, you do this work and you consistently apply it. And then you watch these incredible things start happening, right? So, anything that is worth anything in your life takes time, it takes your energy, it takes investment of money and resources and things like that.

Like, hey, nobody promised us a free fucking ride, right? You gotta work for shit. And that work does not have to be hard, but you’re going to work for it, right? So write down, you know, where do I feel entitled? Do I feel entitled when it comes to time? Do I feel entitled when it comes to money? Like, geez, shit, you know, my husband and I just spent 75 grand doing XYZ and no baby, right?

That’s another one. That is another one. Oh my gosh. I have heard women say, you know, we’re 200, 000 deep in this and no baby. And it’s like, what? What’s the price tag on a baby, sister? Like, really? Hey, what would happen if you spent another 50 and got your baby? Would you be mad about the 250, or would you be focused on your frickin baby?

Like, hearing that baby laugh. You would pay 10, 000 times more than that to hear your baby laugh. Okay? This is really important stuff because when we get entitled around time, money, resources, maybe you start to feel entitled in your relationship, right? Maybe this, where this shows up for you is, you know, I’m doing all these things, you know, my partner just can’t blank, right?

And, you know, my partner isn’t doing X, Y, Z. Can’t they see that I’m suffering? And it’s like, wait a second, right? And I’m sure that you can hear how gross all of that sounds. Right? I hope the one about the baby vending machine really grosses you out. Because Sometimes we need metaphors like that to really see how entitled we are.

Like, okay, so what’s the price tag? Or how long should a journey take, right? We have no fucking clue! It’s gonna take whatever it takes and you’re gonna invest whatever you’re gonna invest, okay? Hey, somebody may have had it quote unquote easier than you, but you don’t know their whole story, right? So, where are you entitled?

And I want you to write that down on the worksheet. Where are the areas that you feel entitled? Okay? And, you know, put another way, like, where are you angry? What are you angry about? Is it time, money, resources? Cause that, that really kind of covers that sense of entitlement as well. Now, I want you next to each one of those areas where you feel entitled, On this journey, I want you to write the impact of that.

Okay, so let’s say, for example, you’re feeling, Well, you know what? Shit, I’ve been on this journey for three years and no baby. Right? Okay, so what’s the impact of you feeling entitled about time? Think about that. Because the more entitled you feel, the more likely you’re going to get pissed and stop trying.

Right? Or not give it more time. So you might be saying, you know, we’ve been trying for three years and you know what, that’s just too long. So I’m done. Right? So, you’ve been on a journey for three years, you’re not getting a result that you want so you’re gonna take your toys away and leave? Really? Really?

Think about the impact of that. Let’s, let’s take this to that next place. So let’s say you get pissed and you’re like yeah, three years on this journey or seven years on this journey is just too long. Why don’t I see the writing on the wall? I’m done. So you’ll spend 10 years, or 3 years, whatever number, you know, you can insert whatever number applies to you.

And then you are gonna give up, and then you are gonna spend the rest of your fucking life wondering what if. You see the problem? You see the problem? Like, let’s do this with entitlement about money. Well shit, you know, 40, 000 on this. Okay, you know what? I’m done. That’s just too much. Okay, so number one, you’re living by somebody else’s estimation of what somebody, quote unquote, should be investing in having a baby.

You know, and you know that shit’s all made up, right? That’s all made up, and it’s usually based in lax, lack and scarcity. So you’re telling me that your entitlement over, well, I’ve spent X number of dollars. That you’re going to allow that to dictate whether or not you have a baby. Really? Really? Okay, so can you see how this entitlement and the anger around, you know, what should or should not have happened, it literally is right now contributing to your self sabotage.

Because If you allow that anger to fester and you allow that entitlement to drive you in both of the examples that I’m giving you, that leads to giving up on the dream. Do you see that? Right? So I want you to write down, okay, what’s the impact of being pissed about time? Well, I’m gonna, you know, I’m making up a timeline and I’m just gonna give up at that point.

Wow. Okay? See how that works for you. See how that fits. If you’re saying, well, I’m entitled in my relationship, you know, why can’t my partner just see that I have needs? Really? So that entitlement is going to have you play high school games and not be clear with your partner about what you want so that you can help them be successful.

Really? Okay? So, when we get stuck in a place of anger and entitlement, it necessarily leads to self sabotage if we’re not careful. Because you’ll just cut it off. And you’ll make silly decisions that you later regret. Because you’re just angry. Or you’re feeling entitled. Right? You’re making it somebody else’s issue.

Or you’re, you’re allowing this to be dictated by somebody else’s rules. And the crazy thing about all this is, whether you realize it or not, at the heart of entitlement is victimhood. Okay? V for fucking victimhood. And we don’t want to have anything to do with that. Because victims don’t win on this journey.

Like, newsflash, okay? Victims do not create success in their lives. What they do is they just create more victimhood and more failure. It’s, it’s crazy. Like, and I’m just gonna speak the truth to you here because the people that allow themselves to live a victim y existence, they just don’t create the, the life that they claim they want.

Because what’s true, ultimately, about victimhood is it’s driven by fear. Okay, they’re afraid to make the investment of time, money, resources. So they rather just cut it off and, and they have a need to be right. That’s the other thing that’s really fascinating about victimhood is people would rather be right about victimized than finding a way to be empowered.

I mean, and that’s like, that’s a whole nother conversation I’m going to get into. Yeah. But for our purposes here. What’s really behind entitlement and the anger is a sense of victimhood, and that is, that’s not going to put a baby in your arms, okay? If you, if you think back, if you go back through every single episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast that included one of my miracle mamas, do any of them sound like fucking victims?

No, they had to believe bigger than their fear. They did the work, they did the things that they needed to do to get themselves moving forward on this journey, to think differently, to look for solutions instead of excuses. Every single one of these women is not living in victimhood, okay? So, In the both of those columns on your worksheet where write down where you’re entitled and what the impact is of that entitlement.

What could that thing do to sabotage your success on this journey when you look at the opposite? Of that we are looking at empowerment. Okay, so a woman who is empowered on this journey is going to look at her results in a very different way than someone who is entitled and victim like just completely stuck in their own victim story, right?

I want to be clear about something. Two things can be true at the same time. You can be disappointed in an outcome and really wish it was something else, but not live there. Okay? You can say, yeah, you know what? This failed IVF cycle, it fucking sucks and I know I’m going to keep going. Okay? A woman who is in her empowerment is focused On the result she desires and she fully understands.

Hey, I might lose more than I win on this journey, but I’m in for the win. Okay. And if you’re smart, you’re going to write that down. That could be your brand new mantra or a brand new fucking tattoo. I’m in for the win. Okay. Because here’s the deal. When you’re empowered, you are going to look at the things that have occurred on this journey as merely data.

Okay? Alright, that didn’t work, that approach didn’t work, I’m gonna try something else, right? I mean, you hear me say this all the time. Hey, if your treatments, diets, lotions, and potions are not working, you have to look at mindset. And why is that? It’s not just because I’m inviting you to be part of my community or inviting you to be part of my programs.

It’s because your mind is absolutely dictating every single thing you do. You have belief systems that are conscious and belief systems that are unconscious, but they are dictating what you do and what you do leads to your result. This is why being in entitlement and anger over your results, I mean, we just spent.

The first part of this podcast talking about that. It’s going to sabotage your results because you’re going to fucking quit. You’re going to talk yourself out of everything that is sensible and focused on what hasn’t worked, okay? Bad strategy. Sorry. It might feel good temporarily, but it’s just fucking bad strategy.

This is why I’m pointing you in another direction, which is empowerment. And empowerment is all about taking responsibility. Okay, hey, you know what? These, these cycles didn’t work. Alright, so what can I do differently? How can I be different? Because you being different is the start of all of it, okay? It’s being, doing, having, and giving.

You have to be something before you can do and have something, right? This is why looking at you with a loving perspective is so fucking wise. Because when we aren’t getting what we want, it’s not the man holding us down, it’s us. And in order for you to change your results, you have to think differently.

Okay? It all starts with us. Everything starts as a thought. Okay? And you just simply have to change your approach and take a position of power. Okay? And that looks different for, for everybody, but I’ve given you an example here, right? So let’s say, for example, you are in feeling entitled when it comes to your relationship, like, geez, why can’t he X, Y, Z, or, you know, whatever the case may be.

An empowered approach to that could be, you know what? I’m not getting what I need in this relationship. So let me take some responsibility here. Let me take a look at what I’m doing to contribute to the situation. And I am going to go to my partner and I am going to tell my partner What I would like more of, okay?

That’s empowerment. Rather than playing the high school game of, you know, we’ve been married for five years, they should know what I need. Like, fuck that. Okay, what are we, twelve? Right? It’s, no. As a grown ass, intelligent woman with probably multiple letters after the end of your name, My darling woman, look, if it’s not obvious to you, you gotta know, I want you to be so fucking successful, I want you to be so fucking pregnant, I want you to have so many kids you don’t know what to do with them, I want you to be so deeply in love, you just wanna scream, and I want you to be so successful and rich that you’re sending me pictures from fucking St.

Bart’s as you do my modules or something like that, you know, and I’m just giving it to you straight because Look, I spent way too many years on my own journey and fucking suffering, and if somebody just laid it out for me like I’m laying it out here for you, I would have probably cut out the fertility sabotage sooner and gotten on a path to success.

Like, I’m not mad that I spent all those years on my journey, because trust me, it it prepared me for what I do today. But I just want to give you the cheat code. You know, like when you’re so fucking happy and like, things have worked out for you that you just want to tell everybody? That’s what I’m doing right now, okay?

This is why I’m bringing this to your attention. You have a choice, my darling woman, to be empowered or entitled. You simply cannot let anger over your results sabotage your success, okay? There’s something smarter, and that’s empowerment. So now that we’ve taken a look at what entitled looks like, what the impact of that entitlement is, I want you to make note On your worksheet, okay, don’t just let this be some, another fucking episode that you listen to, I mean, I appreciate that you listen, but let’s make something really powerful for you here.

Because on the bottom of that sheet, there’s a section that says, where I want to feel more empowered. Okay, where do you want to feel more empowered on this journey? Is it when it comes to time? Is it when it comes to money? Is it when it comes to resources or love from your partner? Or maybe you want a better bump squad, you know Where is it that you want to feel more empowered because if you just sit in anger over shit not working out for you You’re gonna sabotage and you’re gonna fucking miss the opportunities that are all around you right now fertility Success requires you to be empowered Think about, uh, let me just throw our attention over to Marina.

Do you remember Marina from the podcast? Fucking 15 embryos transferred all these years. She walks into her fertility clinic in an entirely new way wearing sparkly shoes. I mean, she fucking took over. Okay. This is what happens when you get out of beating yourself up over the amount of time, money, resources.

Remember Marina was flying all over the world doing this shit. Okay. She was not. In a place of entitlement. She was willing to do the fucking work and she’s holding on to her baby boy today because of it. Okay? Shout out to Marina because I know she’s listening. But anyway, I hope that you’re going to take what I’ve shared here with you.

Remember, I have a choice, empowered or entitled, and that is entirely in my hands. Okay, that’s in your hands. When I say that, I really mean you because I already know that I have a choice between empowerment and entitlement, and I choose empowerment every fucking day as seductive as entitlement may be because it’s easy for the first couple of minutes, but it’s not a recipe for lasting success.

And I want lasting success for you, Mama, as I said. And look, The smartest thing you can do when you aren’t getting the results you want on this journey from your treatments, diets, lotions, and potions is fucking get help with your mindset. Your success on this journey starts there. You can be part of the magic that women from around the world are bringing to each one of their cycles by being part of my Fearlessly Fertile Method program.

This is my signature 8 week program. And this program is for women who intend to get pregnant in the next 12 months and say hell yes to covering their bases, mind and body. So you don’t have to look back on this time in your life with regret. I work with women who are committed to success. To apply for your interview for this program, go to my website, www.FromMaybeToBaby.com and apply for an interview there. My methodology is to help women around the world make their mom dreams come true. Their results speak for themselves. And if you don’t have a mindset for success on this journey, baby, you gotta keep it all in your strategy. Let’s fix that shit and set you up for success.

Till next time, change your mindset, change your results. Love this episode of the Fearlessly Fertile podcast? Subscribe now and leave an awesome review. Remember, the desire in your heart to be a mom is there because it was meant for you. When it comes to your dreams, keep saying hell yes.