Healing Through Hidden Trauma: A Personal Journey To Transformation

I Love Being Sober

Terra Holbrook is the founder of TerraVista Retreats in Idaho, a unique healing space dedicated to helping individuals recover from trauma, addiction, and other life challenges. With over two decades of experience as a therapist, Terra specializes in trauma-informed care, focusing on guiding people through the often hidden layers of trauma that can affect every aspect of their lives.

I want to share that I personally attended Terra's program, and it was a profound experience. We begin with Terra briefly explaining her work and how she came to open TerraVista Retreat in Idaho. Then, we dive into the topic of trauma. Trauma is something everyone experiences, and it's really about how we respond afterward when we can't fully resolve the events or experiences we've endured.

In today's episode, we'll explore the concept of hidden trauma—what it is, how it manifests, and how it can be addressed and healed. Terra brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to this topic, and I'm excited for her to share her insights with all of you.

• [03:57] I went through Terra's program, and the experience was profound.
• [05:17] Terra shares a brief overview of her background and what led her to start TerraVista Retreats.
• [08:47] Everyone experiences trauma.
• [09:37] Trauma is really what happens to us after the event where our body freezes in the state of fear, pain, or dysregulation and what we do afterwards to compensate for not being able to come to some resolution about the thing or things that happen to us.
• [10:09] Hidden traumas are those things that we respond to every day, have reenacted, and don't even understand we've created a life that reenacts what's going on because we're trying to master the thing we couldn't back then and so our behaviors, our beliefs, the way that we respond, our relationships suffer from these events.
• [11:12] Trauma is a stripping of safety.
• [11:37] Terra shares an example where she picked a fight every time her husband was about to go on a trip. She took a look at her discomfort and remembered that her dad had died on a business trip when she was 17.
• [13:10] Pushing him away to not feel the absence of his leaving was a hidden trauma.
• [18:01] A lot happens at the retreats including getting vulnerable.
• [18:37] Tim shares one of his most traumatic childhood experiences. This was also when he started his path to drinking and drugs.
• [22:50] When you start remembering things that you have forgotten about is when you start doing the work.
• [28:23] So much of the work that we do is going back to those parts of our younger self.
• [34:07] These regulation practices rewire the brain and help create safety in parts that didn't feel safe.
• [36:14] The work that Terra does feel sacred to her.
• [37:19] We talk about the common misconceptions people have about trauma.
• [39:07] One of the most difficult traumas to work with is when there's a miss attunement with the child's needs and what the parent sees in the child.
• [41:03] At TerraVista people get the tools they need to rescue themselves.
• [44:47] We set ourselves up for protection from a thing that happened many years ago. We set up barriers, and we become boundaryless. We end up choosing people in our lives that will reenact that lack of safety or whatever the lack is.
• [46:57] After doing the work, the chaos doesn't feel good anymore.
• [48:38] When someone gets clean and sober, all of the habits have to change. It takes time for the brain to settle in a place and reboot.
• [53:09] Signs and symptoms of trauma include relationship issues that don't seem resolvable. Such as choosing the same type of person over and over again.
• [54:03] We need to understand that the answer is inside of us.
• [01:00:20] The pure essence of anger is a motivator.

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Camelback Recovery
• I Love Being Sober YouTube
• Terra Holbrook
• Contact Terra [phone]
• TerraVista Retreat Facebook
• Gabor Mate
• The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom