"I have a Queery about...Raising a Gay Child" ft. Kathy and Jay Eibler

Queer Queeries

"What is the hardest part of raising a child who's gay?" "When did you know?" "What was your impression of the LGBTQIA+ community before having a gay child?" "What can I, as a parent, do for my Queer child and other Queer children?"
On this final interview of the season, I interview my parents, Kathy and Jay Eibler (she/her, he/his), about their experience of raising a gay child and their journey from no exposure or knowledge about the Queer community to being fully immersed in it and two of the biggest advocates I know. As two kids of the 60's, born into small town Midwestern homes, both my parents really had no knowledge of the Queer community. Both of them said they weren't fully aware of the community until the AIDS crisis. However, looking back, with the knowledge they have now, they both say how there were probably more Queer people around them than they were aware of. They both say how it was always as a result of shame around being gay or lesbian that they feel is what kept people from being out. We also discuss my coming out journey and the impact it had on our family: how the impact of what society thought about gay men and specifically in a Christian environment negatively affected us. Both my parents believe me being gay was a wake up call for both of them. They share where they felt they succeeded, what their mistakes were, and lastly, advice they have for parents and adults on how to make our society a safer, more loving and accepting place for Queer children.
We also discuss:

• Impressions of people who acted outside gender norms
• The evolution of language around Queer people
• Their struggle of internalizing a lot their fears around me being gay as opposed to externalizing it onto me
• Why Queer people have to prove themselves in their career in order to be loved because they have their queerness going against them
• How can parenting shift in terms of allowing kids to self identify and not feel like their kids are being sexualized

Resources for Further Learning:
Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family: https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Erased-Memoir-Identity-Family/dp/0735213461/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2POFKN0JGK4W8&dchild=1&keywords=boy+erased&qid=1604171835&sprefix=boy+erased%2Caps%2C169&sr=8-2
Living Right: https://www.amazon.com/Living-Right-Laila-Ibrahim-ebook/dp/B01EVMC2I0/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1NEOAYSLRXJ8R&dchild=1&keywords=living+right+by+laila+ibrahim&qid=1604171880&sprefix=living+right%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-1
How We Sleep at Night: https://www.amazon.com/How-We-Sleep-At-Night/dp/1499725388/ref=sr_1_2?crid=YBM7WZVLIZ2U&dchild=1&keywords=how+we+sleep+at+night&qid=1604171968&sprefix=how+we+sleep%2Caps%2C173&sr=8-2

Show Produced by Nick Eibler
Edited by Addison McKissack
Theme Song written by Matt Gregory, Colin Egan, and Mike Hubbard
Produced by Colin Egan and Mike Hubbard
Logo Design by David Pavón