The only thing I can remember is I may have repeated self a bit & at the end, yes, u take back that suicide shhhhh. Not mine once you name it/say it/spray it & finally slay/write IT/fight IT so u will not deny it. I don't have control over that. God will

SMARTER THAN TRAUMA Podcast

First strategy will be sharing is breath.
With chronic pain, breathing can hurt. Sneezing really hurt so making sure the house was clear due to cat allergies was a must & my priority & "job." Someone didn't have to be in my home after admitting... [let's just write that scene verbatim since the trick is I could keep writing & writing, but you want to do it just one time].
So I held met breath, but with the 2nd round of assaults, this behavior (you have to "catch" the emotion, thought or behavior so I could not identify emotion---numb---or thought---racing, but also super slow so I knew wasn't "anxiety"---of holding breath transported me back to hiding in the bathroom with Neptune (cat) after very specific threats against us. So specific, they "acted" (I get it. If they really wanted to throw the cat off the balcony, I could do nothing) they'd toss the cat over, but also said what would happen.
In education [or life], using IF/THEN statements such as, IF you finish worksheet THEN you can have a sticker. I could motivate with stickers sooo my job was awesome & also why before writing of any type (no fine motor) you'll see stickers so I know this was the first step to healing. I know the order of this recovery even though I had no notebooks & at the time, no recordings, but at some point I relied on voice memos until memory was all full. This is when I switched to iCloud after seeing clouds & sheep in UK.
The first images on IG depict this moment because women became flowers & men became plants. I remember everything, but I didn't the words nor ability to express self in clear writing (in school called written expression & not sure if that's changed). In fact, I don't know what the words are anymore in education, but that's ok. Being a teacher doesn't trigger. I will learn everything again since that is what you do when life throws you a lemon or two.
Too, too, two. But before two is one. One must be able to write one since one didn't have any pronouns & why whenever I write "you," yeah, I'm talking/hearing u. Little u to know not safe & is not U or big U for University, Unity & Universal [language], All my ideas came from somewhere & I think it's because I did the work---read the books---interpreted & wrote the papers and when I found my "God given passion" to then give away to make a happy life. I know how to get through school. I had a their voices throughout telling me I can't do it. I'm nothing. No one will care so I've been doing battles for awhile. I just didn't expect to have to share it ONE day.
Next number is three. That's trinity, trilogy & triFORCE. If you know what this is, then yes, we're finally there. Video Games. Composition 5 is "Stay Alive." No game over in life little kid & why are you, out-of-the-blue asking me about this!?
Today is August 9 & yesterday I created this. Today, I'll listen to it---see if I repeated self---I sometimes cannot hear my own words, but I wanted to record/document everything authethimally (in-the-moment) knowing to share is to be unsafe, but to help others is what helped me & I will not abandon those who did. I will add photos to document them & maintain trust with that iCloud and to get there, you must "tap" this. That touch can be too much, but me? I never give up : www.youtube.com/@alwayslearnsomethingnew7797

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