"Butterflies" by Maureen Benz

Still I Rise Podcast

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An excerpt from Maureen's story: "My sisters were also my light. During my first diagnosis, my sisters would be there during my chemotherapy. One would drop me off, and another would pick me up. My oldest sister would go with me to appointments, pull out a notebook, and take copious notes. During my second diagnosis, she would change her work schedule to be with me during my chemotherapy. She would take me out to lunch or shopping after my infusions. When I lost my hair, my sisters lined up to have their heads shaved. They reasoned, I did not have a choice about losing my hair, but that they did. During my second bout, my two brothers got into the act and shaved their heads too!

My family tried to encourage me, especially when I was down. This past April, I had what you could call “survivor’s guilt.” Two friends passed away from cancer about a week and a half from each other. I kept thinking, “Why am I still here? I have had cancer twice and am still here. Their deaths do not make sense.” My sisters encouraged me to look at the positive and not dwell on the negative. They told me to think how lucky I am to remain here. Like the butterflies that come out of a dark space, so did I."

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