How to Be Inconvenient

Tending Your Life

Being convenient is a priority for many people, and it is ingrained in our culture and our society. It impacts the way we show up in our work and with our families. I recently held a workshop titled "How to be Inconvenient" and several people shared that they gasped at the topic. How did being inconvenient get to be so controversial?

Being "convenient" means our self-care is happening at another person's convenience. This means we're not doing anything in a way that doesn't upset anyone else, doesn't upset the balance of power or the equilibrium of a given situation and we avoid doing things that have an impact anyone else. What happens is that self care becomes something we do in secret. We know it happens, but we make the effort to do it in a way that doesn't requires anyone to rearrange their schedules or be upset, or be "inconvenienced."

Convenience, and especially being seen as convenient to other people, is often an unseen hurdle to self care. And, discovering that many people feel so strongly motivated (often at a subconscious level) to maintaining convenience that it becomes a hurdle to self care was a big learning moment for me. Why? Because I personally do not feel strongly about being convenient to other people. And in fact, my being inconvenient, I see as a way of teaching the people around me that I do not exist simply to serve them.

And, so in this episode, I'm talking about this, and how to be inconvenient and why it matters for your self care and personal boundaries.

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