TCL074 - Eliminate the line-up outside your door!

The Coaching Leader - by IntelliCoach

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Are people knock on your door all the time with questions that they should know the answer to? Is your intuitive response to answer them as quick as possible, so you can get back to your work? Well, doing this likely leads to even MORE questions. Let's talk about a better way in this episode!

Well, when you get lots of questions, there is one intuitive way to react: answer faster and with more precision. Anyone who is an expert in a field or a Manager will know what I mean. However, what that leads to is often a lot more follow-up questions. By answering too fast, we foster other's dependency on us.

What's an alternative? Well, as is often the case, it is a bit counter-intuitive: you don't answer right away with whatever comes to your mind.

Now, I want to make one distinction here: we are talking about questions you get that are not about facts ("when does the project start?"), but about those where the answer is a certain matter of opinion. For example:

• "Which stakeholder should I talk to first, do you think?"
• "Do you think this powerpoint slide headline is good?"
• "How should I prioritise my tasks right now?"

For all these kinds of questions, it is likely very easy for you to come up with an answer almost instantly...an answer that makes sense for you and is reasonable. However, there is a lot of value in not reacting with an answer right away, but with a QUESTION.

Why is this a good idea to ask a question first?

People know the answer

Often, people who ask as actually KNOW the answer, and are just a bit uncomfortable carrying it through. Leaders here are often rescuing way too fast by giving an answer.

People take shortcuts

Sometimes, team members take a short cut. Instead of spending some time thinking about a solution, it may just appear easier and faster to ask the helpful Manager, who surely gives a response very quickly.

Sharing accountability

I have seen this many times: I approach my boss for their opinion, so that we share accountability for what's going to happen next. This is a good thing and a bad thing. Good: The Manager actively supports. Bad: The Manager removes agency and ownership from the employee.

It shows respect

Not answering right away is also a respectful way to interact. Asking someone for their opinion (and then listening) does not trivialise their question. When someone takes 3 minutes to explain a problem, and we answer right away with a quick solution, it can feel belittling to the other person.

How to do it?

It's very simple: When someone approaches you, in general try to think of 1 or 2 open-ended questions to ask first before you dispense your advice. This will build trust, sharpen and focus your advice and also help the other person to prepare better before asking you in the future.

Some general questions you can ask back:

• "Is it ok if I ask you a question to clarify further first?"
• "What's your current thinking on this? What's your recommendation?"
• "What makes this hard/challenging right now for you?"
• "What's the ideal outcome for you?"
• "What makes you ask?"

Pro Tips:

Don't become a formula

If you always respond to questions with a counter-question, things get old very quickly and its actually the opposite of active listening. People will resent you for it. Use it appropriately. Add variety to your response.

Craft your response

When you ask a counter-question, it is vital that you listen and use the answer to inform your next question and share. Hardly anything destroys trust faster if you ask a question and then do not listen to the response or do anything with it.

Summary:

In this podcast episode, I shared some reasons why it's a good idea to ask first one or two questions back when someone approaches you. It just makes sense...we don't have complete information anyway, so it's a respectful way to engage. There are simple questions we can rotate through without becoming formulaic. Eventually, we will 'train' our team members to prepare and ask us better questions, we build capability and yes, we reduce the line-up outside of our door!
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