Discernment vs. Judgment: The Make-or-Break Skill Every Leader Needs

The Self Aware Leader with Jason Rigby

Discernment vs. Judgment: The Leadership Divide

Judgment is a sneaky trap for leaders. It masquerades as confidence, decisiveness, and authority. But let’s be real: judgment doesn’t build teams, it breaks them. It doesn’t solve problems, it compounds them. And it doesn’t make you a better leader—it keeps you stuck. If you’re a leader, especially in middle management, you’ve probably found yourself caught between the weight of expectations from above and the demands of your team below. When things get messy, judgment becomes the default.

But judgment isn’t leadership. Discernment is. And there’s a critical difference between the two.

Judgment: A Reactive Mindset

Judgment stems from fear, insecurity, and unresolved inner conflict. It’s a knee-jerk reaction that labels people and situations as “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong.” Judgment says:

• “My boss is impossible.”

• “This team member is lazy.”

• “This plan is doomed to fail.”

When you lead with judgment, you alienate your team and limit your ability to navigate challenges. Why? Because judgment isn’t about solving problems—it’s about avoiding discomfort. It creates an “us vs. them” mindset, locking you into defensiveness and blame.

Discernment: An Empowered Approach

Discernment, on the other hand, is intentional. It’s the ability to evaluate situations and people with clarity and wisdom. It’s not reactive—it’s reflective. Discernment asks:

• “What’s the root cause of this issue?”

• “What strengths can this team member bring to the table?”

• “How can I adapt this plan to achieve better results?”

Discernment doesn’t tear down—it builds. It doesn’t alienate—it connects. Discernment transforms challenges into opportunities and turns conflict into growth.

The Root of Leadership Judgment

So why do leaders fall into judgment? It’s often about control. When your responsibilities feel overwhelming, judgment offers the illusion of authority. But it’s a trap. Here’s why:

1. It’s a Projection of Stress Judgment often reflects unresolved stress or insecurity. If you feel unsupported by upper management or overwhelmed by team dynamics, judgment is a way to offload that pressure. But it doesn’t fix the problem—it magnifies it.

2. It Distracts From Solutions Judgment focuses on assigning blame, not finding solutions. When you label a team member as “lazy” or a directive from your boss as “unrealistic,” you close yourself off to creative problem-solving.

3. It Erodes Trust Judgment isolates you. Your team feels criticized instead of supported. Your boss senses resistance instead of alignment. Trust is the currency of leadership, and judgment spends it recklessly.

Why Discernment Matters in Middle Management

As a middle manager, you’re in a unique position. You’re the bridge between the strategic vision of your boss and the operational realities of your team. Judgment severs that bridge; discernment strengthens it.

1. Upward Leadership Your boss isn’t perfect—no one is. They may hand down directives that seem disconnected from the day-to-day realities of your team. Judgment says: “They don’t get it.” Discernment says: “How can I translate their vision into actionable steps?” Leaders who practice discernment manage up effectively. They clarify expectations, offer constructive feedback, and align their boss’s goals with their team’s capabilities.

2. Team Leadership Your team looks to you for guidance, support, and advocacy. Judgment says: “They’re not motivated.” Discernment asks: “What’s blocking their performance, and how can I help them succeed?” Discernment enables you to see beyond surface-level issues, fostering a culture of accountability and collaboration.

Breaking the Cycle of Judgment

If you find yourself judging your boss, your team, or even yourself, it’s time to pause and recalibrate. Here’s how:

1. Recognize the Pattern Judgment often stems from frustration or fear. When you feel the urge to judge, ask yourself: “What am I avoiding?” Maybe it’s a tough conversation, a risky decision, or a need for vulnerability. Identifying the root cause helps you shift from judgment to discernment.

2. Own Your Role Leadership isn’t about pointing fingers—it’s about taking responsibility. If your boss’s expectations feel unreasonable, have you communicated the constraints your team faces? If a team member is underperforming, have you provided clear guidance and support? Discernment starts with accountability.

3. Get Curious, Not Critical The next time you’re tempted to judge, get curious. Instead of labeling a team member as “lazy,” ask: “What’s causing their disengagement?” Instead of dismissing a directive as “unrealistic,” explore: “What’s the bigger goal, and how can we adapt to achieve it?” Curiosity leads to solutions; criticism leads to dead ends.

4. Build Bridges, Not Barriers Judgment isolates. Discernment connects. As a middle manager, you’re the bridge between two worlds. Strengthen that bridge by practicing active listening, offering constructive feedback, and fostering collaboration.

5. Lead With Compassion Leadership is a human endeavor. Your boss is human. Your team is human. And you are human. Compassion is the antidote to judgment. It allows you to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats to your authority.

Practical Tools for Discernment

1. Set Clear Goals Ambiguity breeds judgment. Clarify expectations with your boss and set measurable objectives for your team. When everyone knows the “why” behind the work, judgment dissipates.

2. Develop Emotional Agility Emotional reactions often drive judgment. Practice mindfulness or journaling to process emotions before reacting. This creates space for discernment.

3. Seek Feedback Discernment thrives on perspective. Regularly seek feedback from both your boss and your team. Their insights will help you navigate challenges with wisdom and empathy.

4. Focus on Strengths Judgment fixates on flaws. Discernment amplifies strengths. Shift your mindset to identify what each team member—and your boss—brings to the table.

The Leadership Transformation

Judgment may feel like control, but it’s not. It’s fear dressed up as authority. Discernment, on the other hand, is real leadership. It’s the ability to navigate complexity with clarity, empathy, and purpose.

As a leader, your job isn’t to criticize—it’s to empower. Your job isn’t to assign blame—it’s to inspire solutions. Your job isn’t to create conflict—it’s to build bridges. Whether you’re working with your team or managing up to your boss, discernment will transform your leadership. It will strengthen trust, foster collaboration, and drive meaningful results.

So the next time you catch yourself judging, pause. Breathe. And choose discernment instead. That’s the choice that makes great leaders. That’s the choice that will elevate you and everyone around you.