Longing + Lingering | A New Rhythm + Perspective Starting A New Year

The Susan Beth Podcast - Purpose, Intentional Living

Happy New Year. It’s our first episode in the new year and I’m so grateful you are here.

A few months ago I did an episode talking about some things we could be intentional about as we headed into a season filled with extra activities and celebrations. Lots of expectations and traditions wrapped up in the middle of it all and it can be a lot. I’m pretty sure the intention I started out with in that episode was expectations and emphasized the importance of holding our expectations loosely. Keeping our focus on what really matters and being flexible with everything else.

Have I ( as I’m sure many of you have as well) had the opportunity to stand in this intention and choice? I was getting ready to give some specific plans that got changed but then realized I didn’t know that there wasn’t anything that didn’t get changed in the past 6 weeks or so.

And yet because I continued to surrender my expectations and plans God’s peace surrounded my heart and mind. I saw God’s hand bring comfort healing and laughter in walking through unexpected changes of plans and extended ICU stays of close family members.

Another reminder is that the highlights on social don’t always convey the whole story. It’s not being fake or trying to hide anything. Sometimes posts or podcast episodes are made and then things change and sometimes you hold close the photos of those you love in hospital gowns and feel protective of sharing in-the-moment details to anyone and everyone who follows you.

Hopefully, today that family member is leaving the lengthy ICU stay and heading to a rehabilitation center where the supernatural healing will continue.

Plans can be canceled and plans can be rescheduled. And love and faithfulness can be walked out through it all.

I had several thoughts in my mind the last week as we were walking out of a calendar year and into a new one.

And the past few years I have noticed how differently I move into a new year. I still feel the excitement of welcoming a new year … but I don’t feel the pressure or urge to goal set and plan. And again I love those things. But I find myself not hurrying to take down the Christmas decorations and I’m finding so much joy in lingering in season.

So even though I have seen this change and recognized it in me it wasn’t until the end of this year that I think I know what shifted the experience for me.

I’ll share more about that in a minute but I first wanted to share an experience I had the morning of the last day of the year.

You know I love seeing the sunrise in the morning. And this is something I do most mornings. And maybe once a week or so I will go to a favorite spot to take it in. I especially like to do this on special days. I typically drive out to the beach on my birthday. Even though I’m not what they would call a beach bum and don’t go that often to the beach during the day. I was born in July in South Florida and so something about watching the sunrise at the beach with my feet in the sand feels right to me. And I’m not driving to Miami where I was born for those of you listening who don’t know I live in North Florida and get to beach access within 20 minutes. So that’s handy HA!

So a few days ago instead of walking outside of my house or down the street, I decided I would go to one of my favorite spots Which happens to overlook the St Johns River that runs through our city to watch the sun rise on the last day of the year.

Watching the sunrise has become something I absolutely love and long for these days

This is why something I noticed within me surprised me and caused me to ask myself some questions…

You might already know this but it’s something I wasn’t aware of until I started walking or watching the sunrise. The sky appears lighter as it is rising but it is still some time before you can actually witness the light breaking through and fully appearing. I mean I”m sure I learned that at some point but yet another thing I didn’t retain ;)

The reason I’m explaining this is because I will walk while I’m waiting and the sky is getting brighter as time passes. So on this particular morning, I had walked for a while and still didn’t see the sun bursting through across the water. So I walked some more… and then I sat down on a bench.

I was looking out across the water and I found myself standing up thinking I would just leave and drive by to the house. But then I was thinking you haven’t seen the sun come up yet…be patient…just wait..

I went through this cycle of thoughts several more times. And finally, I said to myself (in my brain not out loud) why are you in such a rush to leave??? What do you need to do right now in this moment when you get back to the house?? And the answer was there was nothing that needed to be taken care of or immediately done.

Now you might be thinking that I need some help hahaha but I found it fascinating that I who couldn’t wait to witness the sunrise… Talks endlessly about getting still to connect with God had no reason to get in my car and leave with minutes of witnessing a gorgeous visual display of God’s hand

WHY??? Why was I resisting being still?

Why was every cell in my body wanting to keep me moving to the next??

Why was my mind fighting settling into the present moment and just being

Why??

I kept asking myself and God that question…

I sat back down on the bench and basically was telling my mind and body that “you’re not the boss of me” and I remember very intentionally sitting up straight and straightening my back.

And choosing to be present in that moment.

(wasn’t feeling all spiritual!)

I looked out across the water and moved my gaze across the sky purposefully taking in the vastness of the view

( still not feeling all spiritual ;)

And SAID OUTLOUD

“God you are so much bigger than I thought you were…

Be BIG in my life”

And I heard my voice crack as I said that last line.

And I felt God's presence in that moment.

The statement of me saying God you are so much bigger than I thought you were was me declaring that in response to what I was visibly taking in with my eyes as well as recognizing how much bigger God had become in my mind and life the last several years. And even though I’ve always believed God to be big. He’s so much more …kind of like the vastness of the water and sky before me…not seeing where either of them ends…

There’s always more…

So I thought about that declaration and prayer and I said it out loud

And then the next thing I said felt more like it rose up out of me

And felt sacred and holy

And probably why my voice cracked as I heard myself say it...

Be BIG in my life.

I’m glad I stayed

I’m glad I made myself linger

The sun rose before me

And it was beautiful

And I was full as I got in my car to drive home and write in my journal the words I just said to you.

“God you are so much bigger than I thought you were…

Be BIG in my life”

I told you at the start of this episode that I had some thoughts on why I think I experience the start of a new year differently now.

I think it's because I am intentionally walking through each season and day differently.

I’m not standing at the end of a calendar year looking back over a year's worth of moments and memories and trying to process meaningful moments and lessons learned.

And I’m not saying that’s wrong if that’s where you find yourself at the start of this new year and it’s working for you.

And I do love the role holidays and special times of the year offer us invitations to reflect and remember. I wholeheartedly engage in these celebrations but they are a supplement and addon to the seasonal rhythm of my everyday life.

Our desire and longing for connection with our creator goes beyond any particular season and can’t be confined to a particular day or designated time.

I’m prayerfully processing and reflecting throughout the year. Am I doing that perfectly? No, and perfect is not the goal. Connection and transformation are. And I have a role in that but I am not the originator.

We each long for God our creator because he first longed for us.

We were made to worship God and image him with all that we are.

That reflection and image might look different in different seasons

Maybe that’s because you are reflecting on who you are experiencing him to be in your life in a particular season.

He’s so much bigger than our minds can take in and comprehend.

He is so much bigger than we can ever imagine friend

And he wants to be big in your life.

I would love to invite you to walk through this season with the winter season journal. The stillness of Winter is an invitation to be still with God AND with ourselves.

God invited us into his story. Invited us to co-create with him and image who he is by who he created and built us to be. He’s not scared of our humanity but he does want to be God in our lives.

To me, it’s the example of sunrise a few mornings ago…

It’s us choosing to intentionally

Live fully in the moment we are in

Allowing God to meet us right where we are

And be big in our lives.

I would love to remind you a few days into this new year...

That you are not behind.

On resolutions, on goals for a new year …anything…

You are here in this moment

Not yesterday and not tomorrow

This moment

Be still

Be willing to stay

And allow your God to meet you in this moment right where you are.

*****Credits*****

Winter Journal: - https://amzn.to/48baCCC

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Intro & Outro Music Credit:

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com - License Free

Background Music Credit: Alexander Blu
https://www.facebook.com/AlexanderBluMusic/