Episode 98 - Manufactured Conversation and Shared Silence

This Most Unbelievable Life!

Have you ever attended an event wherein you find yourself with others gathered around a round table with tons of forks and spoons and the expectation for polite and witty dinner conversation? For us, as academics, we have found ourselves in these situations most commonly at conferences, but these circumstances often emerge at weddings, fundraisers, and probably on a number of other occasions, too. What we notice about ourselves is that we both itch at the awkwardness of polite conversation in these contexts AND find those experiences meaningful - even fun. Based on our unique personalities, histories, and experiences, anxiety can arise at situations like these, even though they’re meant to be “fun.” Sometimes they feel like these social situations are being imposed on us rather than offered.

We talk around these conversation occasions on today’s episode. How did we get to that topic, you ask? Well, there might be two reasons. We’re hoping to attend an academic conference in person this April and for us both it will be the first time we’ve participated in such an event in quite some time. Additionally, Paul just came from a retreat grounded in shared silence, and Cheri’s about to head off to one. In these spaces where silence is expected, we have come to find some peace and ease. Yet, similar experiences where the convention is to keep the conversation going, tend to unsettle us. We all show up differently for these situations that involve groups of people, and with different feelings and reactions. May we be kind to ourselves in these situations, and if you’re one of those folks who are perfectly comfortable in such a setting, be mindful that not everyone may be! Hold space lightly, and gently, for all.

Thanks folks!

P + C

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